A Twisted World
by Aerika-san
Summary: YAOI Yullen. A near-death experience for Allen leaves Kanda questioning new and decidedly awkward feelings towards the boy. Beware! Angst overload!
1. Hero complex

**Ok, let's get the housekeeping out of the way.**

**First of all, I do not own D. Gray Man. Obviously. If I did, I wouldn't be the skint English girl that I am.**

**Secondly. This is my very first fanfic. Like, ever, so don't expect a work of art. At all.**

**Thirdly, although it's rated M, this is for later chapters. I've never written smut before (hides from shame) and just sort of glossed over the 'nasties', so I need to work up the guts LOL.**

**Um…fourthly(?) This will (eventually) contain YAOI peoples, so don't read if boy on boy isn't up your street. Or anywhere in the neighbourhood. OBVIOUSLY we will be focusing on Yullen. And why not? Relish in the hotness people! Maybe more pairings later. **

**And fifthly and finally (Too many '-lys') I am an insomniac. I no sleepy. Hardly ever. So my chapters will be being written in the stupid hours of the morning, so expect randomness. And random updates. Any excuse not to be doing ACTUAL work…**

**Any who, I guess I'll leave it up to you whether you like or not. Reviews will be appreciated and replied to, but keep it nice LOL. Flaming never helps anyone.**

**Thanks to Kanda for the chapter title. Mine rarely make sense.**

A twisted world

Chapter One- Hero-complex

The white haired exorcist scuffed his boots impatiently against the dry earth floor of the hut, driving up small puffs of dust.

"Why are we waiting again?"

Kanda's scowl deepened and he made no attempt to answer.

Allen grumbled slightly. It had been like this for more hours than he cared to number. The waiting, the hiding, the creeping and the oppressive silence that begged to be broken- none of it fit into the usually rash nature of the younger exorcist. The choice, if it could be called that, of mission partner was not helping things in the least.

Said partner shifted positions a little, bringing Allen out of his thoughts.

"What is it?"

Kanda continued to ignore him, peering out into the rain, his dark eyes searching.

Allen huffed quietly. This whole being ignore thing was getting really old, REALLY fast.

"Look, I'm all for stealth, but we're supposed to be partners. How am I supposed to support you if I have no idea what you are planning?"

The Japanese exorcist turned on him slowly, his already angry scowl becoming more pronounced.

"I don't need your support, baka Moyashi."

"It's Allen" was the automatic reply, for all the good it did him. Kanda was already looking out into the rain again. The silence lengthened.

Allen's thoughts turned to is next and much anticipated meal, prompting a loud rumble from his stomach.

"Oops, sorry" he laughed nervously, a faint blush of embarrassment colouring his cheeks.

"Control that monster of yours Moyashi, or I'll do it for you." He lifted Mugen threateningly.

Allen was just about to retort when his left eye flared into action. "Finally!"

Kanda looked around. "Where?" He could see nothing in the near-complete darkness.

"Three o clock." Allen fixed his gaze in the direction of the Akuma. "Four level twos and…"he did a swift head count "maybe twenty level ones."

"Is that all?"

Allen looked incredulous. "Isn't that enough?"

"Tch." Kanda drew his blade, looking something other than angry for once. Was that excitement running across the older boys face? "Just stay out of my way and maybe I wont hit you."

Allen's jaw dropped, but Kanda was already out of their hiding place before he'd had chance to snap back. He was tempted to leave Kanda to it. He was handling he situation fine, destroying Akuma left, right and centre.

"Maybe he doesn't need my help after all." This was a rather sad thought. Kanda was the only exorcist to make him feel so useless.

A movement behind Kanda caught his eye. The other exorcist was too bus dispatching the Akuma to see it, but Allen did. He pounded across the muddy ground toward the battle. Kanda ignored him completely, but that didn't matter- he just had to get there first. The hidden Akuma's attack was headed straight for Kanda, who was too involved in the fight to notice the impending danger. Allen threw himself into the line of fire at the same moment his innocence cut the offending Akuma down. The impact of the attack threw him backwards, landing on the sodden ground with a heavy, terribly final dull slap. The rain continued to fall, mingling with Allen's blood.

Kanda finally seemed to realise something was wrong, but the rain lashed his eyes and he couldn't see. The Akuma were gone, whether destroyed or run away he didn't know or care at that point. Damn Moyashi, taking him so seriously. He hadn't had too much trouble fighting the Akuma, but it would have been so much easier if Allen had actually lifted a finger to help. Kanda then frowned, vaguely remembering Allen charging past him at one point. So where was he?

"Tch" he cursed softly. The mission was complete, the innocence collected and the Akuma gone. Kanda wanted to return to the Order, away from this Godforsaken patch of mud he'd been occupying for three long months with only Allen and his stupid little golem for company.

Speaking of Timcampy… The golem, frustrated at being ignored by the Japanese exorcist went from tugging lightly on his long black hair to hovering by his ear, which he then bit sharply. Kanda rounded on the golden orb, brandishing Mugen. Tim ignored the threat and made urgent beckoning motions. Kanda was intrigued and a little annoyed. The little idiot had probably got himself lost. Again. He followed the floating winged ball, stopping dead when he'd only gone a few paces. The rain slackened, and what he saw made his heart leap into his throat, though he'd never admit to the feeling that slowly overtook him.

Allen was sprawled face down in the mud, a few feet from where Kanda had been engaged with the Akuma, oblivious to everything else. A quick glance around told Kanda what had happened.

"Baka Moyashi" he said softly, kneeling in the mud and turning Allen onto his back. "I told you I didn't need your help." He cursed Allen's hero-complex.

Allen's eyes were half-closed and blank, his blue-lipped mouth slack and his pale face coated in dirt, rain and blood.

Scowling again, Kanda flipped the boy onto his shoulders and carried him back to the small hut that they had been occupying for the last few months, while trying to ignore the coldness emanating from the younger exorcists prone form.

**A/N**

**Has anyone ever noticed almost all fanfics start with Allen nearly dying? LOL. I wish I'd thought of a better way to get going. ******** And of course it always starts with the unrealised love hidden in the hate. Maybe. Not quite sure about anything anymore…**

**BTW, is this a long chapter or a short chapter? I'm not sure where the boundary is LOL.**

**Oh and I'm sorry, I know you don't really need this after the essay I wrote at the top, but I thought I should warn you of the phantom 'X'. My laptop is possessed you see and every now and then the letter X will pop up in a word that frankly does not need an X in it. I try to keep on top of everything but now you know why it happens if I miss one. Or delete one by accident that should be there.**

**Much Lovage to all!!**

**Aerika-san**


	2. The Unstoppable Moyashichan

**Meh, my titles still reek, so I'll leave this one to Lavi.**

**Of course, I do not own, or ever will own anything other than very hot dreams of D Gray Man**

Chapter Two

The Unstoppable Moyashi-chan

Kanda worked quickly, using bandages from the deceased finder's pack. A lot of bandages. He was amazed at Allen's will to live. That could be the only thing keeping him alive at the moment- he wound left by the Akuma's attack was high on his chest, almost clean through the cavity, smashing ribs to oblivion and damaging his right lung and God knew what else. The pain must have been unbearable.

Kanda's usually scowl had lessened to a look of barely-there concern. It had to be on the last day of the mission. Damn it! With his own healing abilities, this wound wouldn't have been the life threatening one that it was to Allen. Why did he have to interfere!? Stupid, STUPID bean sprout.

It was the best he could do for now. He knew that getting Allen to a doctor would be the best idea, but the hut was several miles away from the nearest settlement. Kanda didn't want to leave Allen alone, but taking him out in the rain was impossible. It was a death sentence.

He built up the fire and used the finder's phone to call the Order.

"Hello?" Komui's voice rang cheerfully from the other end. He was probably glad for an excuse not to pretend to do work.

"Kanda."

"Oh hello Kanda! How's the mission? Did you get the innocence? Did you and Allen manage not to kill each other?"

"…"

"Kanda? Are you alright?" Komui's cheerful voice changed. In his office, Lenalee and Lavi looked up. They had been waiting for a mission briefing when the phone had interrupted the meeting.

"The mission is complete. We have the innocence and the Akuma are gone." Kanda's voice was toneless.

"And Allen?" Komui grew worried at the avoidance of the subject

"Is in a bad way." Kanda took a deep breath, controlling the underlying emotion. "And our finder got himself killed, there's no way I can get help. Leaving him here alone or taking him out to find a doctor would kill him."

Thankful that this mission wasn't out of the country, Komui looked at his sister and the apprentice bookman thoughtfully. "I'll send Lavi and Lenalee out to you with some more supplies. He might not be able to be moved for some time."

"Tch."

Komui hung up and turned to the two exorcists. "I don't know exactly what happened, but even Kanda sounded worried. Never a good sign. I need you two to get on the next train and get out there to them. If possible, we need to move Allen back here to get proper care, but if not, then Kanda can come back for a much needed break and you two can stay with Allen until he can be moved."

Lavi and Lenalee nodded, leaving the room swiftly to pack.

Lavi's usual happy face was shrouded in worry, which Lenalee was quick to notice.

"What do you think happened?" she asked him

"I don't know, but if it's Yuu's fault I'm gonna be very pissed with him."

"You don't think Allen's going to d…"

"No!" Lavi's response cut her off, making her jump. "Of course not! This is Moyashi-chan we're talking about here! He's unstoppable!"

Said unstoppable Moyashi-chan didn't feel that unstoppable. His temperature raged, flushing his pale face unhealthily.

"G…get away!" he mumbled in his fever-induced sleep, nightmares and hallucinations charging through his befuddled mind. "Mana…n…no! I'm sorry!"

Kanda watched him without really seeing, his own mind wandering. It had been a couple of hours since he contacted the order, and was expecting Lavi and Lenalee any time soon. Timcampy was also pissing him off mightily, fluttering anxiously around his master's head as he tossed and turned on the small bunk.

Allen coughed dryly in his sleep, groaning with pain as his body doubled up with the effort.

Kanda didn't react, crossing his legs lazily, earning himself a glare, if such a thing were possible, from the agitated golem. Kanda ignored it.

The wet sound of pounding feet brought him out of his thoughts and Lavi burst into the hut.

"Jesus Kanda what happened?"

"Damn Moyashi decided to be his usually stupid self and get in the way again."

Lavi's eye widened. "You did this to him?"

"Don't be stupid!" Kanda scoffed. "He did his ridiculous hero thing and jumped in the way of an Akuma attack." He glanced around. "Wasn't Lenalee supposed to be with you?"

"She's bringing the doctor, but I decided to come ahead and see what was going on." Lavi approached the bed. "Is he OK?"

"Would we still be here if he was?"

"…"Lavi stared at the other exorcist. "Well Allen might be, but I expected you to have long since buggered off."

Kanda scowled. Was there a reason he had stayed behind? He randomly cast his mind about, looking for something to avert further questioning. "You know full well that we can't afford to lose any exorcists…even ones as useless as Moyashi."

He never fully regained consciousness, but the pain lessened and he could hear what was going on around him, albeit faintly, as though he were under water. Allen flinched. Trust him to wake up enough to catch that last part. Kanda thought he was useless? It shouldn't have come as a surprise, after all Kanda pretty much thought that everyone was useless, except himself of course, but to Allen's dismay he found that he was hurt.

He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on something other than his pain, both the physical, for the wound on his chest throbbed incessantly and his head pounded with uncontrollable nausea, and the emotional. Useless. That one word circled his already overloaded mind, coaxing him back into a deep, disturbed sleep.

Lavi watched Kanda unobtrusively, his bookman instinct recording everything he saw to slowly think through at a later date, his musings broken when Lenalee crashed through the door in much the same manner that he himself had used shortly before. She was closely followed by a moustached middle aged gentleman, who was panting slightly from the effort of chasing the female exorcist through the storm.

"Thank goodness!" The doctor wiped his brow with a handkerchief. "I'm glad to be out of that rain!"

"How's he doing?" Lenalee approached the bed, a worried expression on her caring face.

"He's hardly moved and he's burning up." Lavi sounded a little upset.

The doctor bustled over to the bed, examining the wound thoughtfully. "I don't know how he lived through this but he's a lucky young man. It's a good job that he was bandaged up quickly, or he'd have lost too much blood." The doctor sighed, scratching his head. "I don't think there's an awful lot that can be done for him, other than lots of rest. He shouldn't be moved until he regains consciousness at least. When that happens, come and fetch me and we'll have another look at him."

Lenalee had her hands clasped against her mouth. "He…he will be alright wont he?"

The doctor turned to her, a sympathetic look on her face. "I won't lie to you. The chances of a full recovery are slight. His lung has been damaged beyond what the human body can heal…"

The female exorcist gasped, tears falling unheeded from her eyes.

Lavi thanked the doctor and escorted him outside, promising to contact him the moment Allen regained consciousness.

"Don't worry Lenalee" he said as he closed the door, blocking out the howling wind. "Allen won't let something like this stop him!"

Lenalee looked at Kanda, who appeared to be dozing. "You saved Allen's life."

Kanda didn't open his eyes but raised an elegant eyebrow.

"You did! You heard what the doctor said…if you hadn't stopped the bleeding…" her voice trailed off, as though the thought was too terrible to contemplate.

"As I told Lavi earlier, we can't afford to lose any more exorcists."

"But you always said that everyone had to look out for themselves. Why didn't you just leave him behind?" Lenalee pouted, despite the seriousness of the topic. "I bet if it were Lavi you'd have been back to the Order without a second glance."

Kanda pondered this. It was quite possibly true. So why had he gone against every one of his principles to save Allen?

"I think you're not as cold as you pretend you are."

Kanda opened his eyes at this. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's either that or Allen's a special case" she looked at him seriously, then glanced at the bed. "He makes everyone feel that way…like they'd do anything for him…anything to keep him smiling…" her face softened.

Insight struck Kanda suddenly. God he was slow. Lenalee liked Allen. _Liked_ him. He idly wondered whether the younger boy thought the same way about her. He doubted it. If Allen was anymore oblivious to the way people felt about him…

What Lenalee had said was true though. He had seen it in Lavi too. The older brotherly feeling of concern. The need to protect…

"Tch. He's like a little kid, he needs looking after. It's just a shame that everyone else is such a sorry bunch of saps that they feel the need to do it" Kanda quietly omitted the fact that he had proven himself to be one of said 'saps.' Lenalee let it slide.

"Well the storms let up." Lavi stomped in through the door, oblivious to the slight tension in the room, while wringing rain out of his orange scarf. "We'll all stay here tonight and decide what to do in the morning."

Sleep claimed Lavi and Lenalee quickly as they huddled on the floor near the fire. Kanda however did not sleep, despite the stressful day he'd had. He sat propped up against the wall next to Allen's bed, hugging Mugen to his chest, watching the fire as it sunk lower in the grate.

He glanced at the bed. The boy had grown a lot quieter over the last few hours. Earlier, when the fever raged and hallucinations danced through his mind, the boy had been annoyingly noisy and had thrashed around, but now the eerie silence was close and oppressive, and it annoyed the hell out of Kanda. Jumping up, he leant over the pillow. Moonlight slid through the uncovered widow, ghosting across the pale boys face, giving it an ethereal glow. The only thing that marred the perfection of the relaxed face was the harsh flush that dusted the boy's cheeks. Feeling a slight, _very slight, _and easily squashable twinge of concern, Kanda brushed a few stray snowy hairs from the boy's forehead, laying the back of his hand against the sleeping face. The fever had lowered a little, but Allen's breathing was ragged, as though he had been running, and his eyes moved restlessly under closed lids.

Time passed, and it wasn't until Lavi gave a loud snore that Kanda jumped back to himself, pulling his hand away guiltily, before settling back into his previous position on the floor. He still didn't sleep. Brotherly affection? Like what Lavi felt for Allen? He tried to put himself in that situation, but the thoughts that encroached onto his mind were definitely NOT brotherly. "Oh God no…"he whispered.

"Right, so what are we going to do?"

"Kanda's tired, he should rest before travelling back to the Order. I'll take the innocence back, and you two can stay with Allen until he can be moved." Lavi looked from one exorcist to the other. "Well?"

Kanda looked bored, but he was in turmoil. Did he stay like Lavi had suggested, rest up and keep an eye on Allen while Lavi took the innocence back to the Order? Or did he leave Allen under the dubious care of the idiot red head and take the innocence back himself?

It was Lenalee's knowing look that cinched it for him. He had to get away. Away from Lenalee's all-to-knowing smiling face and idiot Lavi's horrible jokes and loud obnoxious 'Yuu-chan's, but most of all he had to get away from that angelic face that lay flushed against the pillow whose whiteness dimmed in comparison with the soft white hair that fanned upon it. "Baka. I'll take the innocence back myself. I don't trust you with it after all I went through to get it."

Lenalee looked taken aback. _'Looks like Kanda's back to himself'_ she sighed a little.

While he strapped Mugen onto his belt he cast a furtive glance at the comatose boy. _'You better get back in once piece Moyashi, or I'll kill you myself."_

Lenalee followed him to the door. "Don't worry, Kanda, he'll be fine with us. Like Lavi says, he's the unstoppable Moyashi-chan." She gave him a small smile and closed the door on him.

"Unstoppable Moyashi-chan indeed" he grunted

**A/N I am so sorry people. I am high on jelly beans and therefore very little makes sense to me. Lots and lots of dialogue. In fact I think Kanda talks too much. Should be more moody and…well…grrrr.**

**I did promise randomness though…**

**There was something else though…um…oh yeah, "buggered". Well you see, I'm English. Terribly so (in fact I'm so English I don't even think I'm British anymore), and it kinda of affects everyone. Maybe it shouldn't (well, except for Allen of course), but it still does. So I'm sorry.**

**Hands up…who expected Kanda to be all OOC and stay behind instead of going back to the Order for a well earned, Allen-free break. Puts hand up see, me too…then I thought 'Nah, lets let Allen relax in the company of Lavi and Lenalee'**

**Oh dear God, what have I done?**

**And yeah, I know the ending reeks to high heaven, but I've just moved onto white chocolate buttons and nothing makes sense any more.**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	3. Breathtaking

**So here in the land of 3am I find myself very awake. And cos I'm hopeful that someone out there somewhere might read this, I'm whacking up another chapter. I should really be catching up on uni work, but hey.**

**I stuck some thingies in to help break it up. I read back through the other chapters and it all ran together which annoyed the hell out of me, so here we go.**

**As you all well know, D Gray Man is not belonging to me sob**

**Title-ness continues to be an issue. Take it away Lenalee.**

Chapter Three- Breath-taking

A week passed, slowly and uneventfully before Allen dragged himself out of unconsciousness.

Lavi was the first to notice as Allen slowly blinked and tried to sit up. "Hey hey, don't move too much!"

Allen jumped at the sound of Lavi's voice. "What are you here?" he rasped, his own voice dry and cracked through lack of use.

"We came to take over from Kanda after your accident." Lenalee passed him a glass of water.

"Kanda's gone?" Allen sounded a bit relieved.

"He took the innocence back to the Order."

"I'm glad. I bet he was really angry with me for getting in his way again." Something nagged at a corner of Allen's brain. Oh yes, how could he have forgotten- useless_… _

Lenalee watched him carefully. "How do you feel?"

Allen considered this. "Hungry." His stomach noisily agreed. Lavi laughed and passed him bowl of something vaguely warm and of dubious origins. "Don't ask," he warned. "You don't want to know." Thankfully Allen, being Allen, didn't particularly care what was poured into his growling stomach.

"I'll go for the doctor. He wanted another look at you when you woke up." Lenalee brushed off her skirt as she stood up, smoothing the back fabric. She turned back to the bed. "I'm glad you're finally awake."

* * *

Allen lay back against the pillow, feeling suddenly tired. "What happened to me?"

Lavi laughed again relishing in his relief. It had been a tense week for everyone involved. "Apparently you jumped in front of an Akuma attack headed for Yuu. Saved his life. I don't care what he says, no matter how much healing power he has, if that attack had hit him instead of you, he'd have lost his head." Lavi cocked his head on one side, a mischievous smile lighting his face. "With you being so much _shorter_ and all."

Allen threw his pillow at the other boy. "One of these days I'll have a growth spurt and then you'll be laughing out of the other side of your face when I tower over you."

"Like that's ever going to happen. There's more chance of Yuu taking a Komurin out on a date."

Both boys paused to process the mental image that accompanied the statement, before bursting out in gales of laughter. Allen's guffaws subdued rapidly as he fought to catch his breath.

"Hey, are you ok?" Lavi left his seat and was at Allen's side in an instant.

Allen nodded. "Just…a….little…hard to….breathe…"

"I'm not surprised…you did some serious damage you know. We were pretty worried about you." Lavi continued to watch him as the gasping slowly levelled out. "Take it easy. You're not going to be up to scratch for a while."

* * *

It was a sentiment the doctor whole heartedly agreed with. "You are a very lucky young man!" he reiterated his earlier diagnosis. "If that other lad hadn't wrapped you up like that, it'd be a very different story!"

Allen frowned. He didn't mean Kanda? Mr. _Take care of number one_? But of course he was talking about Kanda, after all, there hadn't been anyone else around had there? Allen pushed that thought to one side for the moment. "So when can I start moving again?"

The doctor's frown deepened. "I'm afraid any exertion will leave you struggling for breath. Your right lung is pretty useless as of now. Given time the capacity may increase, but it will take a lot of breathing exercises before that will happen."

Lenalee was shocked. This couldn't be… "How long do you think that will take?"

The doctor shook his head sadly. "I can't say. It will be quite a while though, in my opinion."

Allen was rocked by the doctor's words. How could he fight when the very act of breathing was going to be an issue? One that might never be resolved…ever. He looked down at his left hand, where the dim light of the cross on the back of it glowed familiarly. Were his days as an exorcist over?

Lavi showed the doctor out, while Lenalee watched Allen nervously. The boy was absently running Timcampy's long tail through his fingers, his eyes blank, staring at the opposite wall.

"It might not be that bad Allen. You didn't hear him before, he kept making out that you were going to die, and that hasn't happened has it? He's probably just exaggerating a little."

Allen blinked slowly and looked up at her. "Is that really what you think?" He looked so utterly hopeless. She couldn't keep the lie from her eyes. "I didn't think so." Allen's gaze returned to the wall, though what he saw that commanded all of his attention like that the girl didn't like to think.

"Come on, the weather's beautiful. You haven't been outside in a week. Come and get some fresh air."

Allen dragged his eyes to her face. "Why are you bullying me? Just leave me alone."

Lenalee huffed. "No. Come one, stop being miserable, this isn't like you." Ignoring his protests, she yanked him to his feet. "Let's go and watch the sunset!"

Allen grumbled, but Lenalee's enthusiasm dragged him along, and the grip on his arm would not be easily broken. It was easier to follow and keep his mouth firmly shut.

"See, it was worth it wasn't it?"

Allen had to admit the view was nice to look at. The clear sky reflected the bright colours of the sinking sun, splashing reds and oranges, pinks and yellows across the landscape and onto his face, highlighting the pale, almost translucent skin and colouring his hair. The eastern sky was slowly gathering it's mantle of purple darkness, draping it across the world.

Allen sighed, his mood lifting. "It's very…" he struggled for a word

"Breath-taking" Lenalee offered. She wasn't looking at the sky.

**A/N Meanie Lenalee, dragging him out of his mood like that! Sometimes people just want to be miserable and relish in it! And yeah, she SO wants to jump him.**

**Only a baby chapter cos I think I'm crashing after my earlier sugar high and I have the mother of all headaches. LOL.**

**Next chapter- back to Kanda. Just what has he been up to this last week? You can bet it wasn't baking cookies!**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	4. Role Reversal

**Hello! I bet you weren't expecting this! I figured since tomorrow's valentines day and all, and I have no plans (sob) I'd get chapter 4 up now and attempt to get the zesty goodness that is chapter 5 up on the day that encourages people the world over to turn into mushy saps. Not promising anything but it's pretty much written…just needs typing up! Here's hoping!**

**D Gray Man is not mine!! (wails uncontrollably)**

Chapter Four- Role Reversal

Kanda scowled at his ceiling. He had done nothing wrong. Lavi and Lenalee had been sent to relieve him; he was perfectly entitled to return to the Order. But if that was the case, why did he feel uneasy. The emotion was not one that Kanda recognised as having before. He felt…guilty. In a swift graceful movement he flipped over and lay on his stomach, burying his head into his pillow and groaning softly. Just what the hell was wrong with him? He had done nothing wrong, for God's sake!

Maybe Lenalee was right, and he too had been drawn into feeling protective of the boy. His mouth twisted angrily. Why would he let something like that happen? Sure, Moyashi seemed to get into more trouble than he was worth, thanks to his habit of jumping in now, ask questions later, but he didn't need a guardian. And Kanda had yet to see Allen ask for help. Perhaps the younger exorcist was just as stubborn as he was.

Something poked at Kanda's thoughts as he lay on his bed, his mind a tumbled mess. Was he feeling guilty because he's run off without thanking Allen for saving his life? _It couldn't be_, he dismissed. _I don't do gratitude_. But the thoughts didn't go away. If anything, the poking intensified.

"Tch." He rolled his eyes. Just what was wrong with him? He wasn't being assigned any missions while he rested, Lavi wasn't here to annoy him, perpetually chirpy Lenalee was gone too, and since he wasn't having a new mission, there was no need to venture down into the science department and face the ever annoying Komui, who of course was complaining loudly that Lenalee wasn't around to bring coffee and was tinkering with something that looked suspiciously like a Komurin.

And there was no Allen…

_Ah!_ Said the little poking thought as though it was satisfied at being recognised. _That's exactly the point isn't it?_

A soft knock at the door brought him out of his reverie. He opened it, revealing a finder that he vaguely recognised, which probably meant he had spent several months with him on a mission. Kanda frowned at him. "Well?"

"Sir Kanda, Komui would like to see you as soon as possible." The finder quaked. He remembered Kanda alright, and would rather banish the memories of that mission well into the back of his mind.

With a grunt, which may have been acknowledgement or dismissal, Kanda turned away. The door was shut firmly in the finder's face. Ah, that would be dismissal then…

Pausing only to strap Mugen onto his belt, Kanda swept down to Komui's office. "You wanted to see me?" His voice suggested that he didn't think anything Komui had to say was of any importance to him.

"Yes, I've just been speaking to Lenalee about Allen."

Kanda shifted on the couch, but didn't say anything.

"The doctor wants him to rest up for another week before letting him come back here."

Kanda raised a perfect eyebrow. "You dragged me down here to tell me this?"

Komui looked guilty. "Well actually I wanted you to go back out there."

"Excuse me?" the exorcist's voice grew cold.

"I would like you to go and escort them home, in case they come under attack."

"Aren't three exorcists enough to handle an attack?"

"Therein lies the problem…you see, there's only two exorcists."

"Spit it out Komui" Kanda growled, his patience wearing thin.

Komui sighed and bowed his head, his glasses slipping to the end of his nose, reflecting the light and hiding his eyes. "Allen is no longer able to perform his duties as an exorcist. We don't know how long it will be this way, but it could well be permanent."

"I see." Kanda stood, straightening his coat. "Well I see no rush to get out there. I won't leave until the day before."

Komui nodded sadly. The team should be safe as long as they stayed hidden. "That would be fine."

As he stalked back to his room, Kanda's mind was reeling. Just what exactly had happened to have Allen's life as an exorcist written off? Sure the wound had been serious, but to mean that he could no longer fight… He idly wondered whether Allen knew, and how he was taking the news. _Probably with a stupid grin on his face, pretending nothing's wrong,_ he snorted.

* * *

Allen was indeed grinning. Lavi was regaling him with a story from his earlier days at the Order.

"Yuu was standing there, all confused and getting really angry with this bright pink eye shadow on and then…" Lavi broke off to wipe tears of mirth from his eyes. "Then Lenalee just gave him this_ look_ and said '_If you wanted to try on my make-up you only had to ask'_" Clutching his sides, Lavi rolled onto the floor.

Allen's smile faded as he watched his friend, the sadness washing over him again. Lavi realised he was laughing alone and sat up, a worried frown on his laughter-flushed face. "What's up Moyashi?"

"ALLEN!" Allen stood up, anger twisting his usually cheerful face. "It's not hard to remember!" He flounced furiously from the room, slamming the door so hard the whole cabin rocked. Dust floated from the rafters, coating Lavi's stupefied face. "Wuh?"

The little flounce had cost Allen though. He leant on the huts outside wall and panted. Wonderful, just wonderful. He couldn't even have a temper tantrum without getting out of breath.

And now he felt even worse. He had no excuse to snap like that, especially since Lavi was just trying to cheer him up. But just hearing that Goddamn name…it made him all kinds of angry.

Allen had had plenty of time to run over the events of the battle, and had come to the conclusion that it was all Kanda's fault.

If Kanda hadn't decided to go running off into battle alone, none of this would have happened (Allen didn't dwell on the fact that it had been his own choice to let the older exorcist to get on with it). He calmed down after a few minutes of silent fuming, during which he visualised killing Kanda in many different and increasingly imaginative ways, though they all seemed to involve wrapping his hair around his neck and throttling him with it. No matter how eternally cheerful he was supposed to feel, the loss of his reason for existing had hit the boy hard.

* * *

The week passed torturously slow for the three-man team. Allen was almost silent, barely uttering a word to his friends, just staring blankly at the all and hardly eating, causing further worry for Lavi and Lenalee.

"He'll be fine once we get back to the Order" Lavi said as they sat outside on the roof of the hut, watching the sun rise.

Lenalee shook her head. "I think that's the worst place for him…surrounded by all the other exorcists."

Lavi disagreed "No, once we're back and he can start training again, he'll be fine and back out on missions before we know it."

"…"

"What?" Lavi raised his eyebrows, losing them under the green bandana.

"You honesty think he'll be able to go back out on missions?"

"Of course. Don't you?"

Lenalee didn't reply.

"Or is it you don't want him to be in danger again?" A knowing glint appeared in his green eye.

The girl flushed but didn't say anything.

"Well good luck. Though I think you might have to be…well, a bit less subtle. Allen will never realise anything's going on unless you point it out to him and even then… you need to hit him over the head with a sign or something."

Lenalee gave a small chuckle. _Well that would explain a lot…_

They sat in companionable silence for a while longer until Lavi finally spotted the approaching figure. "Looks like our escort's arrived." He looked closely at the silhouette. "No way…"

"Um…Lavi…isn't that Kanda?"

* * *

"Why did Komui send you?" Lavi jumped down from the low roof to meet his friend.

"Baka Usagi." Kanda said by way of greeting.

Lenalee started twittering in his ear about all the goings on that he had missed during his break. He heard her but wasn't really listening. Alright, he wasn't listening at all as he followed Lenalee to the door. Lavi entered first, and Kanda was still outside when he heard the red-head's exclamation.

"Just what on Earth do you think you're doing?"

He and Lenalee pushed through the door

Allen was upside down, balanced on his right hand, his left arm bent behind his back. Sweat ran down his bare back, soaking the bandages and pouring off his face. The strain was evident.

"Allen! Your wounds haven't healed enough for this! Get down!"

Frowning slightly, Allen did as Lenalee bid him, settling onto a heap on the floor, his breath coming in harsh ragged gasps. A few spots of blood marred the white perfection of the bandage.

"You're such an idiot! If you injure yourself we'll be stuck her even longer!"

Allen huffed. "And I'll never get better if I don't start training!"

Kanda, still standing by the door walked in and closed it with a sharp snap. "Baka Moyashi"

Allen looked up at the sound of Kanda's bored drawl. Anger deepened the already dark flush of exertion that covered his face. "It's Allen. Maybe I should do what you do when people call you something you don't like."

Kanda flinched as he found a long razor like finger pressed against his throat.

"Whoa Allen, put it away!" Lavi pushed Allen's left arm away from Kanda.

Still scowling, Allen deactivated his innocence. "He had it coming" he mumbled

"Whatever." Kanda resisted the urge to wipe the small thin line of blood that stained his pale skin. "We'll be leaving in the morning" he informed Lavi and Lenalee, ignoring Allen completely, which was fine by him. Allen threw himself on the bed, bunching his fists into the pillow. The other three exorcists left him alone.

* * *

"Right, are we ready? Got everything?" Lavi ran through the last minute checks.

Yes, yes, let's go already!" Allen snapped, leading the way down the track that he had first walked with Kanda so long ago.

Lavi and Lenalee glanced at each other. This was going to be a long journey home…

* * *

Allen had been restricted to the hospital wing while he underwent rigorous tests.

"Well, as long as you take it easy and give your wound a chance to heal, I see no reason why you can't go back to your own room." Komui said

"Finally!" Allen slid from the bed, picking up his shirt and throwing it on.

"There is one thing I would suggest. Kanda's our resident expert on deep breathing and relaxation. Maybe you should spend some time with him."

Allen's eye twitched as he looked at Komui. "You have got to be kidding me."

His tone spurred Komui on. "No I'm not. In fact, I think its such a good idea, I'm _ordering_ you to spend some time meditating with Kanda."

Allen's expression turned sour as he looked at Kanda, whose face was blank and unreadable. "Fine, whatever." Allen left the room leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake.

"Are you ok with this Yuu?" Lavi asked him

Kanda didn't even bat an eyelid when Lavi used his first name. "Yes" then he too left the room.

"What was that all about? Allen being all scowly and Kanda being _nice?_" Lavi pretended to faint. "Talk about role-reversal."

* * *

**A/N Le Gasp! What's this? Kanda being **_**friendly**_**? (well sort of) Allen being a homicidal (and slightly suicidal) **_**ass**_**? Just what the holy hell be damned is going on!!?? Role-reversal indeed!**

**Long chapter there…shows what a difference it makes when I write during the day. Still crappage on a level higher than all crappage before it.**

**Let me pose a question to you…the story is nearly over (sob) cos I planned on finishing it once Allen and Kanda had seen the light (cos that's all we're all waiting for isn't it?) but I feel sorry for Lavi, after all he's too damn hot to be a minor character, so if anyone has any suggestions with what I could do with him…Don't want to do the story to death but a Lavi-centric story line could easily be done. Any who, let me know your thoughts, so I may steal them Mwahahaha**

**Next chapter- "Twin rivers of sorrow" a.k.a. Let the man loving commence.**

**Much lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	5. Like twin rivers of sorrow

**Happy St. Valentines Day to all. Here's a present.**

**Well this is starting to get interesting. Enjoy the slightly zesty feel of this chapter. Real guy on guy from now on. Beware fluff. This day that is 14****th**** February has also affected even my cold heart, so to make up for it let's all enjoy a bit of Lenalee bashing.**

**I do not own D Gray Man :(**

* * *

Chapter 5- Twin Rivers of sorrow

"You're still too tense." Kanda had his eyes closed, but one sharp eyebrow was raised.

Allen huffed. "It's not my fault." The wind ruffled his snowy hair, and he shivered. Kanda opened his eyes a crack. He could see just how tense the younger was, his shoulders were stiff and the muscles under the pale skin were tight. He closed his eyes again, taking another deep breath. "It's not difficult. Just breathe."

Allen rolled his eyes. "Actually, it is rather difficult for me at the moment."

Kanda winced inwardly. There was that strange guilty feeling again.

"Tch."

"That's not helping."

Kanda bit his tongue to stop him from shouting. "Just relax."

"…"

"Well?"

"This isn't helping at all!" Allen leapt to his feet. "It's no good, I'm going inside." He tried to step away but Kanda's hand seized his arm.

"You aren't giving up already are you?" he sneered

Allen yanked his arm out of Kanda's grasp. "I might as well face it, no matter what I do; I won't ever be able to go on missions anymore. Everyone else knows it, it's time I accepted it as well."

"So you are giving up" it was a statement rather than a question.

"Yes I am!" Allen covered his face with his hands and leant back against a tree. When he spoke his voice was muffled by his palms. "How would you like if all of a sudden you couldn't run, or climb, or…or…do anything? I can't make it from one end of my room to the other without getting out of breath!" Allen choked back a heaving sob. "I have my innocence to help people, humans and Akuma alike, but now," a steely tone coated his next words. "Now I'm useless." He spat the offending word at Kanda with such venom that he knew it was a reference to something he'd said or done. The only time he'd said that Allen was useless, at least within hearing distance of the boy was when he was trying to avert the questioning of Lavi after he'd arrived at the hut after the accident. He'd thought Allen was out of it. The clouded silver eyes however told him otherwise, but Kanda couldn't explain that he hadn't meant the harsh words; he couldn't understand why he _hadn't_ meant them, after all.

He didn't reply, but listened with closed eyes while Allen sobbed angrily. Eventually he spoke. "You're just proving me right by giving up then aren't you?"

Allen hiccupped in surprise. Kanda wasn't going to deny that he thought he was useless? Honest of him, but he expected nothing less from the Japanese exorcist. Allen pushed himself away from the tree, clearly intending to return inside, but his feet wouldn't move, he felt strangely light headed. His breathing hitched and he slumped to his knees at the foot of the tree. Kanda looked up, concern flitting briefly across his features before being replaced by the usual blankness.

"Calm down."

Allen didn't have the breath to spare to retort, so he shot Kanda a death glare that the elder would have been proud of.

Kanda walked up to him, kneeling at his side. "Just _try_ to relax a little, stop panicking, it's not helping." He placed his hands on Allen's shoulders and squeezed gentle, concentrating on working the tense kinks out of the firm muscle. Inwardly he marvelled at how defined the boy's body was, despite his small frame.

In spite of himself, and trying to ignore the decidedly nice feeling of Kanda's hands on his back, Allen found himself relaxing, his breathing slowly regulating. The firm motions of Kanda's hands lulled him, and he fell asleep, exhausted.

Kanda stopped his ministrations when he noticed Allen had fallen asleep, and lay the boy down, covering him with his discarded coat. _The poor kid, it must really be tough on him._

* * *

Kanda found himself watching Allen sleep, studying the slight rise and fall of his chest, the way strands of soft white hair fell across his eyes, revealing the red star shaped scar above his left eye. 

Was this really just the feeling of a protective older brother? Kanda leant over the sleeping boy, the temptation too hard to resist, and placed his lips against Allen's, very gently. Allen stirred slightly, but did not wake, although the movement was enough to make Kanda draw back quickly, looking about guiltily. He flushed a deep scarlet. Yep, he hard a hard on. Definitely not the brotherly feeling then.

It was growing dark, but Kanda didn't trust himself to get too close to the sleeping boy, instead waiting until the darkness was sufficient to hide any indiscretions before waking Allen up.

"Come on Moyashi, it's time to go inside." He as relieved to find his voice sounded normal and slightly annoyed.

"'S'Allen." Allen mumbled as he got to his feet. Kanda 'tch'd and helped the white-haired boy stand.

"Yeah, and it's also getting late, I'm not waiting for you to crawl your way up to the castle." With a swift motion, Kanda lifted Allen bridal style and began to walk towards the doors. Allen, who was still dazed and half asleep, made a soft protest before settling into Kanda's strong arms. It really wasn't that bad.

Arriving outside Allen's room, Kanda finally put him down. "Thanks," Allen muttered; he'd woken up more now and felt frankly embarrassed.

Kanda smirked, but made no move.

"Is there something else?" Allen titled his head to one side, his eyes startlingly bright in the gloom.

_Damn, it's too much…_ Kanda placed a hand next to Allen's head, leaning forwards. "Yes. I wanted to thank you for saving my life."

"You already did by returning the favour." Allen struggled for air, his breathlessness having nothing to do with his injury and everything to do with the shirtless Japanese man leaning over him, his glittering blue eyes clouded with lust and maybe- Allen thought as Kanda gripped his chin and forced him to look into those drowning pools- just maybe something more.

Allen's eyes started to close as he felt the older exorcist's lips on his own. He leaned into the larger body, pressing himself flush against Kanda's front, falling into the kiss with a soft moan.

Kanda took advantage of the gently parted lips, sliding his tongue into the inviting cavity of the younger's mouth, slipping wetly over Allen's own tongue.

Allen pressed closer, drawing another groan, this time from Kanda, whose hand left Allen's face and brushed his neck, trailing down his back.

There was a soft 'flump' as Allen dropped his coat and tangled his hands in the long silky hair of the Japanese exorcist. It wasn't until he felt his own tongue fighting with Kanda's that he realised what was happening.

He pulled away, a confused look on his furiously blushing face. "Um…I…um…I've got to go" he stuttered, not meeting Kanda's questioning gaze. "I'm sorry Kanda…" and with that Allen dashed away.

Kanda could do nothing but watch the pale hair of the younger boy. He picked up Allen's abandoned coat absently. "Shit."

* * *

Allen didn't get very far before he had to stop. He leant against the cold stone wall, panting heavily. He felt light headed and starved of oxygen. He shouldn't have run away. He felt like such a fool, leaving Kanda just standing there. Just standing there outside his room, leaving him no where to go and hide. 

It had been wrong…but yet it felt so right somehow. He remembered the wonderful feeling of Kanda's hands on his body, the gentle dancing of Kanda's tongue on his- he had liked it. Allen buried his face in his hands and groaned. _What now?_

Feeling decidedly confused, there was only one thing that could take his mind off his current situation. Food. He headed down to the canteen, where hopefully Jerry was still around and would be able to cook something to lift his heavy heart.

Before he got there however, he bumped, quite literally into Lenalee.

She registered his dazed expression. "Hey Allen are you alright?"

Allen nodded absently and continued walking slowly toward the dining hall, Lenalee beside him.

Lenalee decided it was now or never- crunch time as it were.

"Hey Allen?" she gently clasped his hands, turning him to face her. "There's something I want you to know. I have wanted to say for a while, but I can't keep it in any longer."

She pushed him against the wall, cupping his face in her slender hands. "I really…_really_ like you Allen." Her eyes conveyed the meaning of her words.

Allen watched her face draw close with wide eyes. _Holy shit what's with everyone today? Was Jerry putting aphrodisiac into everyone's food?"_

His thoughts were cut off abruptly by the feeling of delicate lips against his.

Lenalee wrapped her arms around his neck, throwing herself into the kiss, as Allen closed his eyes.

Allen absently found his hands once again entangled in long dark hair.

Wait…this was different. Right, but yet again, so very, very wrong.

Lenalee's tongue pushed against his lips and without thinking he opened them.

Kanda watched silently from the shadows, before turning and storming away, an angry, hurt look on his usually stoic face.

Allen came to his senses, and gently pushed the girl away, reaching behind his neck for her hands. He looked into her wide questioning eyes.

"Lenalee, I'm not the one for you." He still clasped her hands. "I'm so very sorry if for any moment I made you feel like this, but…"

Allen's own eyes widened as though struck by a sudden thought. "I can't love you. I love someone else."

He didn't look back at her as he walked purposefully back towards his room, his mind in turmoil.

Lenalee didn't move- she just watched him leave, tears tracking down her cheeks, like twin rivers of sorrow.

**A/N**

**Well. Um…**

**Meh, I am well aware of the crappage content. Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but it needed leaving there. **

**Somehow I can't find it in myself to feel sorry for Lenalee. Confession crashed and burned a little bit didn't it?**

**Never mind. It's just starting to get interesting now. What will happen? **

**Poor Kanda, he thinks Allen's two timing him. LOL**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	6. I love you

**Chapter 6 is for all the people who took the time to give me a review. All comments are very much appreciated. Aerika-san loves the warm fuzzies!**

**I'm sorry for the delay; this took longer to write than I anticipated.**

**I apologise in advance for this chapter- please don't hate me. **

**Very much the M rated chapter. No like-y boy on boy? No read-y!**

**I don't not own D Gray Man **

* * *

Chapter 6- I love you

Breakfast the next day was an awkward affair. Allen knew he had to talk to Kanda and explain his reaction to the late night incident. He also wanted to discuss the revelation he had had while kissing Lenalee, but was unsure how his confession would be received by the older boy.

He entered the canteen, his eyes searching out the Japanese exorcist. He spotted him eating in the corner. Relieved, Allen ordered his breakfast and turned to where Kanda was sitting- only to register the now empty seat and the sight of long dark hair whipping around the door. Lavi, whom Kanda had been sitting with, looked stunned at the sudden disappearance, his head turning this way and that comically.

Sighing, Allen placed his overflowing tray next to Lavi's. "Morning" he greeted with forced cheerfulness.

"Good morning Moya-err, Allen!" Lavi changed direction mid-word, giving Allen what he clearly thought was a winning smile.

Allen returned the smile weakly and turned his attention to his breakfast. He hadn't got very far however when Lavi spoke again.

"I wonder what's wrong with Lenalee. She looks kinda upset."

Lenalee was walking toward the hatch, her face red and puffy, and looking close to tears. Glancing around, she caught sight of Allen, who stiffened unconsciously. Squaring her shoulders, she approached him purposefully.

"Shit." Allen didn't want to face her now, especially in such a public place. "Got to go, Lavi. Sorry."

Abandoning his breakfast, which he'd hardly had time to touch, he leapt to his feet and walked, as quickly as he could without raising suspicion, towards the doors, ignoring Lavi's confused shout.

"Allen? Wait! What's..?" Lavi looked between Allen's retreating back and hunched shoulders and Lenalee's hurt filled face. "First Yuu, then Allen. Just what's going on with everyone today?"

* * *

To anyone on the outside, the whole situation would have been very amusing to watch. 

Allen spent his day searching for Kanda, while just as desperately trying to avoid Lenalee. He felt that he just couldn't face her until after he'd spoken to Kanda- who of course was nowhere to be found.

Lenalee was not put off by the scene at breakfast and was urgently hunting Allen down. Somehow he always managed to stay one step ahead of her, much to her frustration. Lenalee had another problem- Lavi.

Poor Lavi was dying to know what was going on, and was alternating between pestering Allen, Lenalee and Kanda for some insight into the situation. Needless to say, he wasn't getting very far.

He made the mistake of asking Komui if he knew the reason for his friend's strange behaviour, causing a riot as the mad scientist frantically tried to release his latest Komurin robot in order to identify and remove the perceived threat to Lenalee's purity.

* * *

Allen had given up. It was late and getting dark. He'd been wandering the order from top to bottom, roof to basement, and had yet to find the one person that his heart ached to see. 

He took up his regular seat beneath the tree in the clearing he and Kanda had been meditating in. He settled down, grateful that the day's unnaturally balmy winter air had not cooled, and began regulating his breathing, inhaling as deep as his lungs would allow. Despite his earlier dismissal of the breathing exercises, Allen had to admit he was feeling better, and the tight panicky sensation that he had grown used to feeling in his chest was slowly lessening. His marathon around the castle hadn't winded him as much as he thought it would have done either.

Kanda watched from the shadows of the nearby trees, debating whether to join Allen. He had planned on coming out to the forest to clear his head, and he doubted very much that he's be able to achieve this with Allen sitting so close. Then again, he couldn't avoid the boy forever.

He slipped into the clearing silently and sat in his usual spot, trying his hardest to ignore Allen.

After a few minutes Allen opened his eye, blinking in surprise. "Kanda! When did you get here?"

Ignoring the question Kanda scowled. "If you hadn't let your guard down you'd have realised I was here."

Allen rolled his eyes. "It's always work, work, work with you isn't it?"

"Should it not be? Weren't you the one yesterday _crying_ because you couldn't _work_?"

Both boys flushed at the mention of the previous day's conversation, each mentally running through the following events. An uneasy silence settled between them.

Allen attempted to break it several times, but the words he so keenly wanted to say wouldn't leave his mouth. He twiddled his thumbs anxiously.

Kanda was having a similar problem. Eventually he spoke. "I'm…glad…that you and Lenalee…" he shifted with embarrassment, "I…hope you'll be…happy." His voice was tense and the expression on his face suggested he was knowingly swallowing poison.

Allen frowned, all discomfort forgotten. "What are you talking about?"

"Last night…I came to apologise for…" he coughed "and I saw the two of you, in the corridor near the dining hall." A flush began to creep up the back of his neck, tingeing the tips of his ears an unsightly crimson. "Together" he added unnecessarily.

Kanda looked uncomfortable. Allen stared at him. Not only was he blushing, he refused to meet the questioning eyes of the younger boy.

"You saw that?"

Kanda nodded, his flush becoming more pronounced.

_Awww, how sweet! _Allen thought, watching the elder boy's uncustomary discomposure shamelessly.

"You obviously didn't see enough. You should have stuck around longer." Allen's voice was calm and matter of fact.

"What?" Kanda blinked stupidly.

"I told her I wasn't interested. She's nice…the kiss was…nice, but that was all."

_Just nice? _Kanda's spirit lifted. Allen wasn't with Lenalee?

"I like Lenalee, but not in the way she wants me to. I know that now, she's not the one for me. I told her that myself." Allen's eyes dropped to the ground. "I told her I loved someone else."

"Ah." Kanda's souring spirit fell back to earth with a bump. "I see. In which case I apologise for my earlier behaviour. Had I known you already had feelings for someone else I would never have forced myself on you like I did." He stood up, his expression closed and hard, wanting nothing more than to get away from Allen and to wallow in his embarrassment alone. He began to turn away, but was stopped by a warm hand grasping his delicately.

"You," Allen said in all seriousness, "are an idiot."

Kanda's tone grew defensive and a fresh flush of angry crossed his face. "I've already apologised, but I'm not going to beg forgiveness, I…" he was cut off by Allen's fingers covering his mouth.

"Bakanda." Allen moved his hand slowly, as though expecting Kanda to start ranting again, but he just stood silently, watching him with eyes that put the darkness to shame.

His hand trembling slightly, Allen reached behind Kanda's head, pulling the stupefied boy closer.

"I was talking about you."

Kanda blinked in surprise as Allen closed the gap between them, pushing their bodies together and pressing his eager mouth against his.

The inability to move only lasted a few milliseconds before Kanda wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, lifting him momentarily off his feet, returning the kiss hungrily.

* * *

"It's getting late." 

"Mm."

"We should go inside."

"Probably."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"A little." Allen's stomach protested against this loudly. "Ok, maybe more than a little."

Kanda chuckled softly, stopping abruptly when he felt Allen tense against him.

"What is it Moyashi?"

"You…you just laughed."

"Yes I did."

"Who are you?! What have you done with the real Kanda?!"

Kanda captured the younger boy's lips with his own, kissing him lightly. "Shut up Moyashi."

"Hmph. You're never going to stop calling me that, are you?"

"No." Kanda ran his hands along Allen's arms. The light cotton of the white shirt felt slightly damp as the air condensed. "Come on, let's go inside. We don't want you to get a cold too."

Allen sighed and sat up. "I don't want to bump into Lenalee again…"

"The chances are you won't, but if you're that worried, come to my room. It's the last place any one would look for you. I've also got some food stashed away, so at least we can stop that racket until the dinner time rush is over."

Allen thought this over, trying to work out what it was that Kanda had just said that didn't make sense. "Wait…you have food in your room?"

"Of course- you didn't think I really lived off soba and tempura did you?" Kanda laughed again. "I have an image to maintain, but even I need some variety in my diet. I have loads of snacks in my room, come on."

_It's a shame this isn't an anime- that was definitely a sweat-drop moment_ Allen thought as he picked up his discarded coat, slinging it over a shoulder. "Your room it is then."

* * *

"Wow that was great!" Allen brushed a few stray cookie crumbs off his shirt. "Did you really bake those yourself?" 

"I'm a man of many talents."

Allen laughed happily, making Kanda smile in response.

"You should smile more often" Allen commented, lying back against the pillows with a contented sigh.

"I've had nothing to smile about before." Kanda absently brushed the white-haired boy's face, tracing his jaw with long fingers.

"Mmm…" Allen rested his cheek in Kanda's palm, watching him with bright silver eyes as Kanda's other hand reached for the red ribbon that adorned his collar. Dark blue eyes met clear grey ones, as though asking for permission. Allen rewarded him with a breath taking smile which lit his whole face from within. Kanda was just too cute when he was uncertain.

Permission granted, Kanda expertly untied the ribbon before moving onto the buttons of the vest and shirt, rapidly removing the offending articles of clothing and casting them aside.

The only thing that marred the perfection of the taut fair skin and hard muscle of the younger teen's chest was the harsh pink scar forming over the most recent wound. It seemed to be healing rather well, but the shiny scar tissue stuck out darkly against the rest of the pale form.

Kanda ran his hands over Allen's chest, drawing a small moan of pleasure as his palms grazed across sensitive erect nipples.

As he leant in for a kiss, he dimly felt the rapid movements of small mismatched hands on his clothes before he too was shirtless. He bit none too gently into Allen's neck, making him hiss and move under him, grinding their hips together, which in turn caused Kanda to moan softly into Allen's neck.

Kanda paused. _Was this moving too fast? Perhaps they should stop before it went too far…_

"Please…don't stop!" Allen gasped as their hips brushed together again. Kanda smirked; he wasn't the only one getting hard.

He began to kiss his way down Allen's neck and over his chest, pausing to tease his nipples with his teeth, enjoying the desperate, half pained moans it elicited from his young lover.

With quick movements, Kanda jerked Allen's boots off and removed his own, throwing them carelessly to the floor next to the redundant and rumpled clothing, before turning his attention back to he boy who lay panting on his bed, eyes filled with excitement and raw need.

Kanda paused again and Allen growled impatiently. "What is it now?"

"Are you alright with this?"

Allen rolled his eyes. Kanda seemed desperate to kill the mood. As an answer he grabbed Kanda's waist and switched positions with him, forcing the taller boy down onto the bed. His hands worked swiftly at the fastenings on Kanda's trousers before removing them with a few well practised yanks.

_He's done this before… _The thought struck Kanda as strange. Cute, innocent Allen Walker was not supposed to be a demonic sex fiend.

It was Allen's turn to pause briefly, sucking in a deep shuddering breath as he ran his eyes over the beauty of the naked body beneath him. From his well defined upper arms to his flat sculpted stomach, no one could deny that this body was utterly masculine, despite regular mistakes to the contrary.

Allen brushed his hand across the tattoo laid over Kanda's heart before moving onto more pressing matters.

Kanda shuddered as those haunting grey eyes met his; the sheer force of the gaze was enough to bring his need to a whole new level. Allen gave a small smile at the reaction, and without moving his eyes from his lover's face, he began to stroke Kanda's erection.

With a loud moan of defeat, Kanda let of his hard fought control, pressing himself into Allen's firm caress, whimpering when the hand was removed.

His distress was short lived as he felt the warm wetness of Allen's mouth close around the tip of his straining member. He fought to remain still as a tongue licked the soft sensitive skin, teasing him, before, without warning; Allen drew his entire length into his mouth.

Kanda gasped loudly, and he felt, rather than saw Allen's self satisfied smirk as he pulled away, running his tongue in rapid circles around Kanda's tip before taking him into his mouth again, this time moving up and down over his length, applying a firm pressure that drove Kanda crazy. Allen smiled to himself, amazed at the response he had received from that one simple touch.

Kanda wrapped his hand in Allen's hair, pulling him away from his groin. Allen looked at him dazedly. "What's wrong?"

"You don't get to have all the fun." Kanda's voice was husky, thick with desire. "And I noticed you still had clothes on." He pulled Allen into a punishing kiss, as though trying to push his whole being into the boy's mouth, while at the same time reaching down and tearing at Allen's belt. He wormed the tight leather off the slim pale hips, wondering how Allen had made it look so easy. He felt the smile against his lips. _Was Moyashi laughing at him?_

Finally, with a little help from Allen it has to be said, the last remaining item of clothing was dropped in a crumpled heap to the floor. Kanda did not stop to admire the body of the boy who was once again trapped beneath him. Instead he focused his attention on the boy's hard, straining erection, taking the pale length into his mouth, bobbing his head rapidly, listening with satisfaction to the wild sounds of pleasure as Allen fought for control. His raised his head just as Allen's breathing changed, reaching for his face and kissing him, inhaling the sweet scent of his skin as the younger boy released between them, coating his stomach..

Kanda smirked at his handiwork, but it wasn't over yet. He coated his fingers in the white fluid that was running lazily across Allen's rapidly rising and falling abdomen. With slight hesitation, he pressed his lubricated finger against the boy's tight entrance.

"Are you sure about this?"

Allen felt like smacking the other boy across the head. He couldn't speak, he was panting too hard, so he conveyed all his feelings through his eyes, hoping that Kanda could see how he truly felt.

Whatever Kanda did see reassured him, and without further warning pressed his finger inside.

Allen hissed at the sudden intrusion, his muscles automatically tensing. Kanda spoke soothing words to him, kissing his face and neck softly, trying to get him to relax. As soon as he thought Allen was ready, he entered another finger, gently moving them apart, stretching him ready for the larger intrusion that was to come. He pressed a third finger inside, pushing in deep searching for the spot of ultimate pleasure and flicking his finger across it, earning a sound close to a scream from the smaller boy who squirmed with pleasure he did not know how to deal with.

Kanda withdrew his fingers and positioned himself at Allen's entrance, watching him closely for signs of discomfort as he pressed himself into the tight warm embrace. Allen's eyes narrowed for a moment as his forced his body to ignore the intrusion, his breath escaping in a low whimper. Finally he seemed to relax slightly and looked deep into Kanda's eyes, who took this as an invitation to move. He began to gently thrust into Allen, who gave a small squeaking sound each time Kanda plunged against his prostate, which in turn drove Kanda to new heights of desire. Settling into a steady rhythm, Kanda began to stroke Allen's hardening length in time with each thrust. The twin sensation tore a wild cry from the younger boy's mouth, his eye's glazed over and sweat coating his flushed face.

"K…Kanda I…"

"Shhh, I know" Kanda grunted with the effort. His rhythm was changing; he was losing the steadiness, as he came close to losing control.

"Oh God!" Allen panted as Kanda released inside him, following him over the edge in a blur of ecstasy.

Kanda collapsed to the side of him, eyes closed and a small smile playing across his lips. Allen reached over and stroked the hair from his lover's sweaty forehead, laying a small kiss against the revealed skin.

Kanda smiled, shuffling closer and listening to the rapid pounding of the other's heart.

"愛してる"

Allen smiled, resting his head on Kanda's shoulder. "I love you too."

**

* * *

A/N (A long one…I have the rambles after writing that)**

**Again I'm sorry. (Hides with shame) **

**I have been struck with the sudden realisation that as much as I try to deny it, I revel in the mushy stuff, not just the pure carnality of a sexual relationship. So beware future fluff. I guess I'm a romantic at heart.**

**I **_**was**_** going to indulge in some outdoor love-making- I don't think I've read a FF with any in, but decided against sex in the grounds of the Order…who knows what "security" devices Komui has installed…**

**And just to clear up any confusion, it is winter, but just because they are in England doesn't automatically make it cold, just dark by 4 in the afternoon, that's why it's dark but before dinner.**

**It was too tempting not to put the bit about only eating certain things to maintain a public image. I had a friend like that who swore to all the world that she never ate junk…even ate salad's at McDonalds (lol), but when I went into her room it was filled with chocolate and crisps.**

**On a side note, remember what I said in the A/N of chapter 3? About Kanda baking cookies? It was too hard to ignore…Mmm, Kanda Cookies. (drools)**

**I also apologise if the Japanese text was wrong. Blame the translator if it was nod nod**

**Sorry for the ramble-y-ness of my note, Much lovage,**

**Aerika-san.**


	7. Misunderstanding

**Chapter 7 is for Tuli-Susi who suggested Kanda getting the wrong end of Lavi and Allen's stick. Though no Lavi murder. Lol.**

**You got the smut, now for the angst. I love angst. And being angsty. And Kanda was just made for it. This is to make up for the OOCness that occurred when Kanda turned cookie-baker.**

**As always, and as you are no doubt fully aware, I do not own D Gray Man. **

* * *

Chapter 7 Misunderstanding 

Kanda opened his eyes slowly, feeling confused. Something was different to every other morning. An odd weight was pressed against his left shoulder, pinning him to the bed, enveloping him in warmth.

For some reason he ached all over.

Looking down, his blurred morning vision met the top of a snowy-haired head_. Ah, so that was the weight..._

Memories of the previous night flooded his mind, making him smile contentedly. Now that he was aware of it however, he realised Allen's weight was giving him a dead arm. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to move his captive limb while not disturbing the sleeping boy imprisoning it.

Allen, who had not been sleeping deeply, was suddenly awake, his eyes roaming the unfamiliar room.

"Good morning." Kanda's voice made him jump.

He turned his head to the source of the voice, his eyes wide and surprised. A blush crept over his face as his memory came back to him, slowly slotting together.

He was naked.

He was naked in Kanda's bed.

He was naked in Kanda's bed with a naked Kanda.

He was naked in Kanda's bed with a naked Kanda and a backache.

Ah.

"Good morning" he replied brightly, trying to ignore the embarrassed flush coating his face, leaving him all hot and bothered.

Kanda noticed the blush. Or rather, he noticed how cute said blush made Allen look. It was a very different look to the one he remembered form last night, when the pleasure-flushed face and lust-filled silver eyes, accompanied by the spread of sweat-laced hair across the pillow had made Allen look like a fallen angel. That image made Kanda smile.

Allen grimaced and sat up. "Urgh. I need a shower."

Kanda slipped his arms around Allen's shoulders. "That is a very good idea." He licked Allen's ear, his warm breath sending goosebumps coasting up the younger boy's neck.

"K…Kanda!" Allen suppressed a shiver of excitement.

"Yes Moyashi?"

The nickname strengthened Allen's resolve, and God knew he need all the help he could get with what he was going to do. "As lovely as it is lying here with you" Allen removed Kanda's arms from his neck "I have to go."

Kanda watched Allen gather his clothes with a confused expression. _Was that just a one-off?_

Allen was aware of Kanda's eyes following him and so kept his face turned away so the older boy could not see his expression.

He had not meant to fall into bed with Kanda on the first date. Hell, they hadn't even had a first date. He was ashamed of his lack of self-control, worried about what Kanda though of him and above all he was concerned he couldn't control his facial expression, and the shame he felt about himself would be interpreted as regret by the other man.

Once he had his clothes in some sort of order, he made the mistake of looking back towards the figure on the bed, who was still watching his every move intently. Kanda was now sitting up, the blankets pooled in his lap.

The sight of Kanda's near-naked body was almost enough to completely destroy Allen's determination. His already racing pulse quickened and he had to look away or give in entirely. He regarded the floor as though it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"Maybe I'll see you at breakfast?"

Whatever infliction Kanda heard in the younger exorcist's voice saddened him, his eyes tightening with sorrow as he watched Allen leave.

* * *

Allen banged his head repeatedly against the shower stall wall, cursing softly under his breath. 

Lavi's head peered over the door, looking strange without the usual bandana. His unruly wet hair lay flat against his forehead. Oddly, he showered with the eye patch firmly in place.

"Allen are you alright?"

Allen jumped. He hadn't realised Lavi was there. _Damn all communal showers._

"Of course." He turned off the flow of water, looking round for his towel. Lavi passed it to him wordlessly, a concerned look in his eye.

"Has this got something to do with Lenalee?"

Allen looked at him curiously. "Lenalee?" A frown crossed his face as he knotted the towel around his waist and reached for another to dry his hair. "What's Lenalee got to…do…with…shit." He remembered he had still got to talk to her.

Lavi was more confused than ever. He watched Allen via the mirror as he brushed his teeth.

Allen was deep in thought. He couldn't avoid the girl forever. It looked like he'd have to face her sometime soon. Rousing himself out of his daze, he shook his head firmly. "No, it's nothing to do with Lenalee."

Lavi didn't press the issue. He shrugged and pulled on his jacket, fastening the bandana around his head. "See you at breakfast then?" He headed out of the door.

Allen nodded vaguely as he fastened his shirt. _Where was that damn ribbon?_ He looked around for it. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't had it when he went to his room for a change of clothes. Which meant it was still in Kanda's room. Bollocks.

Flinging the towels in the laundry, he decided he could live without it for an hour or two, he had spares in his room of course, but before he even thought about going back there, he had something more important to deal with.

* * *

"Lavi, how many female exorcists are there?" 

Lavi looked surprised at Lenalee's question. "As far as I know, 3. You, Miranda and General Cloud Nine."

Lenalee nodded thoughtfully. "And female finders?"

"Not many. I don't know the exact numbers though." He frowned at her. "Why?"

She paused, debating whether to tell him or not. However she was severely pissed at Allen right now. Hell hath no fury and all that, so she told Lavi what had happened.

"Allen said he was in love with someone. Someone who isn't me."

Everything clicked into place for Lavi then. Well for the most part.

"So you were wondering who it was?"

She nodded looking a little shame-faced. "But it's confusing the heck out of me. As far as I know, he hardly knows General Cloud and Miranda…well, Miranda's Miranda." She sighed sadly. "So I wondered if it was a finder."

Lavi nodded thoughtfully, his well organised mind running through all the finders that Allen could have had contact with.

Lenalee sighed again. "I'd better take brother his coffee. Let me know if you think of anyone."

Lavi nodded. "Of course!" This was an interesting distraction from all the reading the old Panda has been forcing on him.

He watched Lenalee leave, offering a greeting to Kanda as she passed him, which he customarily ignored, instead heading straight for Lavi.

"Have you seen Moyashi?" Kanda leant on the table, looking at Lavi with an intent expression on his usually stoic face.

"He was in the showers about 10 minutes ago. I expected him to be down here by now, but he's probably lost again. Why?"

Kanda looked shifty. "He…uh…dropped this." He laid the ribbon on the table. "Give it to him when you seen him would you?"

Lavi gave his friend a questioning look. "Why don't you…"

"Tch. I'm busy" Kanda returned to his usual coldness.

"Um…ok Yuu…"

"Don't call me that!" Kanda snapped before stalking away.

* * *

Lavi picked up the ribbon. _Dropped it? And Kanda was returning it? Voluntarily?_

Lavi blinked slowly, trying to process the thoughts. While he was still turning things over in his mind, Allen's usual overflowing tray appeared beside him.

"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting, I got lost aga…Uh, Lavi? Where did you get that from?"

"Hmm? Oh Yuu just dropped it off. Said you'd left it lying around." Lavi stopped, watching Allen blush deeply.

"That…was…nice of him, I guess." Allen put the ribbon around his neck, tying it quickly, his eyes everywhere but looking at Lavi. He started on his breakfast, hoping Lavi wouldn't question him further. He could almost hear the cogs turning in the apprentice bookman's head. The last piece settled firmly into place, but refused to be processed for a full minute. Then the inevitable;

"Oh. My. God."

Allen flinched as though Lavi had shouted, not breathed the dreaded words. He focused more intently on his breakfast. It was obvious that Lavi was waiting for him to speak, so he stayed silent, working his way through his eighth sausage.

Lavi decided that the silence had lasted long enough. "How long?"

Allen sighed and put down his cutlery, looking wistfully at the stack of toast he had yet to start on. "I don't want to talk about it here."

Lavi nodded and handed Allen a napkin.

"What's this for"

"I can't wait. Wrap up your toast. Can't have you starving, can we?"

Allen smiled in spite of himself, gathering up the stack of buttered toast, which looked like a whole loafs' worth. "Where are we going?"

"We can talk outside. It's a lovely day and we won't be overheard."

Allen nodded bleakly, following Lavi out through the doors of the castle.

* * *

"So that's what happened…and now Lenalee's got the wrong idea." Lavi didn't seem shocked by Allen's confession. In fact his expression was suspiciously blank, as though he was unsure what expression he was supposed to be wearing. 

Allen nodded glumly. "And I've messed everything up by running away. I was so worried about what he thought about me, I just had to get away." Tears sprang into his eyes, clouding his vision. "I'm so stupid Lavi!"

Lavi laughed softly, pulling Allen closer as he cried, cradling his head as the younger exorcist sobbed into his shoulder. "Yes you are! How could you think that Yuu would think anything less of you? He's a cold bastard, but give him some credit."

"I don't regret anything, not for one second, but I wish we'd talked more beforehand- I don't know what to expect now." Allen mumbled against Lavi's neck.

Lavi moved away gently after a few minutes of silence, brushing the tears from the pale cheeks with his thumbs tenderly.

"Go and speak with him. I'll give Lenalee some garbage so she'll leave you alone. Just go and talk to him. You're too cute of a couple to let this stop you!"

He pressed his forehead against Allen's. "And that's an order from your big brother, so don't disappoint me!"

Allen laughed. "Hai, nii-san"

Lavi ruffled the snowy hair affectionately. "Go on then!"

* * *

Kanda was fuming. _What was with that boy?_ First, he'd caught him kissing Lenalee, although he'd denied having any feelings towards her, then he'd thrown himself into Kanda's arms, having sex with him then running away the next morning, despite professing love the night before. 

Then this morning, he'd been heading to the clearing only to almost stumble upon Lavi and Allen embracing. Allen had had his head buried in the red-head's neck, while Lavi held him tightly, before stroking his cheeks and pressing his face against the younger boy's in what Kanda was sure was a passionate kiss. He had stormed away at that point, unable to take any more. He couldn't believe it. Sweet, innocent, perpetually smiley Allen Walker was a _whore. _

He remembered the practised ease with which Allen had undressed him the night before. Dammit, why hadn't he seen it then…or maybe he had, but was too caught up in the moment to care.

He stormed into Komui's office without knocking, slamming his fist on the desk, jerking Komui out of his peaceful, work avoiding sleep.

"Send me on a mission. Now"

**

* * *

A/N ****I would just like to point out I don't actually know the numbers of female finders and exorcists, but for the sake of keeping the peace we'll pretend I know what I'm talking about.**

**Lenalee hasn't even considered the possibility of another man...stupid girl...who wouldn't be gay surrounded by the delectable-ness of those boys and suspicious lack of (attractive) women?**

**Oh yeah, and Kanda was too far away to hear what they were talking about, and he's standing behind Allen, so he can't see what's really going on.**

**And communal showers are just too fun!**

**Sorry for the filler-ness. And the shortness. Got a busy weekend ahead but I'll try to get another chapter up at some point.**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	8. Still an exorcist

**I always laughed when I read authors saying that reviews made them more motivated to write. After all, I've always written for my own pleasure, and if someone else enjoyed it, that was nice, but it wasn't the end of the world if they didn't. Now I see what they meant. Every time I get a review it spurs me own to start the next chapter, so I apologise to all the authors I mentally reviewed but never posted for, in the future I will try to review the stories I read!**

**Would just like to say I have no idea where this fits into the manga storyline, only that obviously Allen already knows Fou and Bak of the Asian branch, and they have the ark, so it must be sometime in the future, but don't ask me, I'm just the author!**

**Lots of time-jumpy (and place-jumpy)- two lines indicate a time skip.**

**Of course, I still don't own D Gray Man, but I do own Francesca. Not that that makes me feel any better...**

* * *

Chapter 8- Still an exorcist 

"He's gone?" Allen stared at Komui in disbelief. "When? Why?" _Dammit Kanda Yuu, why'd you run away?_

"He stormed in here earlier, demanding a mission. He wanted a long-term one, but the only one I had unassigned was a simple Akuma extermination. An easy mission for someone of Kanda's calibre. He'll be back within two months if all goes well."

Allen was thunderstruck. _Two months?! He'd missed his chance…_

"As for why, I have no idea. He's probably just fed up with being stuck at the Order."

Allen nodded. "Yeah, thanks Komui." As he closed the door closed behind, he felt tears gathering in his eyes, threatening to overflow.

* * *

Lavi found him sometime later, sitting outside, despite the pouring rain. The pleasant morning had rapidly become overcast, as though the sky was crying along with Allen. 

"I've just heard. Are you alright?"

Allen started nodding out of habit, but stopped abruptly. "No."

Lavi gave him a small sympathetic smile. "Don't worry; he'll be back before you know it."

Allen suspected no matter how soon Kanda returned, all chances of ever being in a relationships had been destroyed when he had run away that morning. He hung his head, berating his stupidity. And cursing Kanda's impulsiveness- he couldn't believe that Kanda had run away as well, as though he thought he had been rejected. Allen sighed harder. From Kanda's point of view that was probably what it had looked like. Allen would have probably assumed the same thing.

Lavi laid a hand on his shoulder, guiding him inside. "Won't do either of you any good if you'd died of 'flu before he got back."

Allen leant on Lavi's shoulder, grateful for the support. "Thanks Lavi."

Lenalee almost dropped the coffee-laden tray she was carrying, her mouth hanging open in astonishment.

Allen…walking with Lavi…who had his arm draped casually over the younger boy's shoulders. Allen was leaning into the taller boy as they walked inside, dripping with rain and seeming oblivious to anything going on around them.

She felt so betrayed- she had spilled all of her (and Allen's) secrets to Lavi earlier, not once considering that she could be mistaken in her assumption she was searching for a female…Lavi must have been laughing at her all along.

The rattling of china on the tray reminded her she was in the middle of something, and capping the churning confused anger that rolled through her stomach, she stalked to the science department.

* * *

"Lenalee!" Komui greeted her enthusiastically, inhaling the pleasant aroma of the coffer that she had somehow managed to keep hold of. 

She slammed Komui's pink cup down on the desk, too busy plotting revenge on a certain red-headed bookman apprentice to reply.

"Lenalee are you alright?" Reever took his own cup from the proffered tray.

She jumped in surprise, looking at him innocently, worried that the evil thoughts she had been thinking had somehow made it onto her face. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Komui wasn't fooled for an instant. He might dote on his little sister, but he wasn't completely blind. He knew her best after all.

He cast a pointed look at the gathered scientists, who retreated hurriedly. It was never a good idea to stick around when Komui got _that_ look in his eye. You might end up as part of another ridiculous experiment.

When they were alone, he made his sister sit on the couch and crouched down in front of her. If he's sat at his desk he wouldn't have been able to see her for all the stacks of papers he'd been avoiding signing for several days.

"Come now, you know you can't hide things from me."

Lenalee looked at her hands, which she was clasping tightly in her lap. She shuffled awkwardly. As much as she felt hurt and betrayed by the people she considered her closest friends, she knew it wasn't her place to spread their secret. But she had never lied to Komui- he was right, she couldn't hide anything from him.

"I…found something out about two people who I thought were close to me. Something I thought they would have liked to share with me."

Komui looked at her. "Oh you found out about Allen and-"

"Lavi, yes."

Komui nodded, then froze, dumbstruck_. Eh?_ _Lavi? Not Kanda? _After all, what else could the sudden change in situation between the two boys mean…but then again perhaps he had been completely wrong in his assumption. Lenalee seemed sure in any case…

"Why are you upset? Are you not happy for them? I am." Komui couldn't care less about the relationships between the exorcists, as long as missions were not jeopardised. In fact, the more men that were involved with each other, the less he had to worry about Lenalee's innocence. And not the dark boots kind.

The girl bit her lip. "I'm just upset they didn't feel they could tell me."

Komui raised his eyebrows. "Which one is it?"

"EH?!"

"I've already said you can't hide things from me. I bet it's Lavi, tall, mysterious, the older guy…"

Lenalee flushed and mumbled something about all older men being perverts with only one thing on their minds.

Komui laughed. So it was Allen was it? He felt a little more relaxed. If there was one person in the whole of the Dark Order who was probably clueless when it came to relationships it was Allen Walker. He wouldn't make a move on Lenalee. Especially if he wasn't interested in girls.

"Well you'll be pleased to know you'll have plenty of time to question Lavi about it. You're off on a mission together. As of tomorrow. It's not a difficult one, just pick up a new accommodator who's been located in Italy. Looks like a parasitic type, but I don't have more information than that I'm afraid. I wish I didn't have to send you both, but we are really short of exorcists at the moment, we can't afford anything to happen to her."

"Her?"

"17 year old Francesca …um, no second name. From what I understand, her innocence is a pair of wings."

Lenalee nodded. "Do you need me to tell Lavi?"

"No I spoke to him earlier when he came by looking for Allen and Kanda, who is also out on a mission. Poor Allen, it must be rough being left behind."

* * *

* * *

The weeks began to lengthen, turning into a month before Allen had really noticed that any time had passed. He threw himself into training, pushing himself harder than anyone thought was safe for his weakened body. Someone was forever hauling him to the hospital wing after he had collapsed in the training grounds with exhaustion.

Komui finally had enough.

"You're working yourself too hard. Either you cut the training down or I confine you to the hospital."

Allen scowled. "I'm not getting anywhere here. I would like permission to go to the Asian branch and train with Fou."

Komui frowned, considering the request. "If Bak has no problem then I guess it's ok." _At least I won't have to deal with him collapsing everywhere anymore._

"Thanks Komui" Allen gave him a smile, one that promised trouble.

Komui hoped to God that Bak would agree with the request. He decided the leader of the Asian branch didn't need to know _all_ the details…

* * *

"WHAT!?" Bak poked the wound a few times. "Can't you ever stay out of trouble?" 

Allen laughed, rubbing the back of his head nervously. "No…"

"So why are you really here?"

"I want to train more to get stronger. My body is too weak to be of any help to the Order. And I can't do it alone." Allen looked awkward at admitting his helplessness.

"Alright, I'll help you Walker, but try not to die." Fou considered him, her head tilted to one side. "At least you have both your arms this time."

* * *

* * *

"Well, unless you plan to live here forever, there's nothing else to be done."

Allen looked at Fou, panting. "What do you mean?"

"Your injury isn't one that can be healed by less than two months of training. It'll take years to get back to your previous level."

"WHAT!"

Bak stepped in, holding Allen back as he swung his arms madly in an attempt to wring Fou's neck. "We think that perhaps going out on missions again, easy missions mind, may be the best way to boost your fitness."

"Really?" Allen stopped struggling.

"VERY easy missions. And no solo ones."

Fou cackled evilly. "Anything above a level two will finish you off in seconds."

"Thank you for all your help. I'll be going back now."

Bak watched him walk away, his hand on Fou's shoulder. "Thank goodness. We were running out of medical supplies."

* * *

They were tired. The journey had taken forever. They had managed to get lost twice. On top of that their target kept moving, which meant travelling by ark was impossible. Back to the old methods of travel…sickening boats and cramped trains. Finally it seemed they had caught up to her. 

"That must be her Lavi" Lenalee pointed through the crowded market square.

"STRIKE!" Lavi slapped his hand to his nose to staunch the blood that had sprung into fruition. He watched the girl walk closer, a curtain of dark hair swinging behind her. Lenalee looked at him curiously. _Wasn't Lavi with Allen..?_ She had not been able to ask Lavi straight out, despite the lengthy, boring travelling time.

She studied the young Italian, and was first of all struck by the forcefulness of the ' olive-green eyes. The girl was pretty, she thought grudgingly.

"Hello, my name is Lenalee Li. This is Lavi. We're here to escort you to the Order."

"Thank you for coming all this way to meet me." The other girl smiled widely, showing even white teeth. She turned to look at Lavi, whose face was now coated in blood which dribbled uncontrollably through his fingers. She handed him a handkerchief. "Are you ok? Maybe you should get that seen to?"

"Ignore him, he's fine." Lenalee linked her arm through the other girl's. "It's so nice to have a girl my own age to talk to!"

Francesca smiled amicably as she and Lenalee walked towards the inn they were staying at, listening to Lenalee's rapid chatter.

Lavi came to his senses, looking round. "Hey! HEY! Wait for me!"

* * *

Allen stepped though the ark, arriving in the middle of a very hectic science department. 

"I'm…home?" Allen watched the scientists running backwards and forwards, completely ignoring him. He left them to it, weaving between them and heading to Komui's office, muttering under his breath. _"Oh hello, Allen. It's been a while. How are you Allen? Not even one crummy greeting….stupid scientists. I bet this is all Komui's fault."_

He looked around. The corridors were dead and eerily silent, giving him a distinct uneasy feeling. Bak had called Komui to tell him that Allen was on his way home…so where was everybody? He wasn't expecting a welcome back party or anything but he was sure Lavi or Lenalee would have been there to greet him, perhaps introduce him to the newest exorcist. He more than half hoped that Kanda would be around, so he could _accidentally_ bump into him. He should be back from his extermination mission by now. The last two months without even seeing the brooding face of the other exorcist had been beyond difficult.

But the halls and corridors were strangely devoid of life- there simply was no one around at all.

He headed to Komui's office, partly to report back and partly to get some answers. He paused with his hand against the door. There were raised voices coming from inside.

"No Reever, we have no choice-we're completely desperate!"

"Supervisor, what good will losing another exorcist do?"

Something was slammed against a surface. From the resulting hiss of pain Allen suspected it was Komui's fist connecting with the desk.

"When he gets here, you suggest that he stays here and does nothing and we'll see if you can stick to your guns with him standing in front of you." Komui's voice sounded defeated, he was no longer shouting.

Curiosity roused, Allen knocked gently and stuck his head round the door. "I'm back!"

The guilty faces of Komui and Reever confirmed that they had been talking about him.

"Err…Hello Allen." Reever shifted nervously, his eyes flicking to Komui.

Finally, persuaded by the desperate silent pleas from the section chief and Allen's suspicious look, Komui spoke.

"Not long after you left, we lost communications with Kanda. At first we weren't too worried, but when he didn't return when he was expected to…"

Allen sank to the couch. "Didn't you send someone to find him?"

"Of course. The finder we sent at first reported signs of a struggle. The inn was pretty much ripped to shreds. We then decided to dispatch an exorcist team to track him down. Lenalee, Lavi and the newest accommodator were closest…" Komui rested his head in his hands, looking utterly broken.

Reever took up the narrative. "We've lost contact with them too. We're so understaffed right now there was no one to spare to go and look for them."

"Give me the last known location. I'll go." Allen got to his feet, holding his hand out for the file.

Komui gave Reever an 'I told you so' look.

"Allen, you're in no fit state to go out into the field…" Reever tried weakly.

Allen didn't move. "I'm going whether you help me or not." Komui handed him the file, looking sadder than Allen had ever seen him. With a curt nod of thanks, Allen turned on his heel and hurried from the office.

"Why did you let him go? You heard Bak's report- anything stronger than a level 2 will finish him off. I know you want Lenalee and the others back, we all do but…"

Komui raised his hand, cutting Reever off suddenly.

"Short of tying him up, there is nothing I could've done to stop him. He's still an exorcist after all."

**

* * *

A/N I apologise for the slow plot developments thus far. From the next chapter it picks up I promise! **

**(Offers everyone a Kanda-cookie to make up for it)**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san **


	9. Loss of Faith

**I woke up this morning very grateful that I had fallen asleep with my FanFic notebook close to my bed, cos when I opened my eyes I found I'd written several pages worth of notes and quotes for chapter 9 (at this point chapter 8 was still unfixnished). Most of which I liked (though it was so jumbled it was hard to make sense of) The main reason I was glad that I slept with my note book was the singular thought- **_**What would I have written on if the book WASN'T there? **_

**Oh yeah, beware naughty language, emo-ness, torture and a self destructive Kanda. Maybe my choice of theme is saying something about me?**

**I don't not own D Gray Man, though Fran is still mine. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter 9- Loss of faith

_-----------------------------------------Flashback-----------------------------------------_

_Lenalee hung up the phone, her face worried. "Kanda's vanished. Since we're closest to his last known location, Komui wants us to go and search for him."_

_Lavi nodded grimly. Just what could have happened?_

_Francesca looked between the two exorcists, anxiety all over her face. "What's going on?"_

_Lavi grinned at her reassuringly, before turning his attention to his bag, yanking it closed. "Just a detour. One of our friends nearby has gone missing and we have…to...uh…"_

_Lenalee turned in time to see Lavi hit the floor, his eyes half-closed and his mouth slack. A trickle of blood ran from under his hairline. _

"_Wh...What's going on" She looked up at the older girl and her heart froze. The girl's tanned olive skin had darkened to grey, and a line of black crosses ran along her forehead beneath her black hair._

"_You're a Noah?" Lenalee took a step backwards, too frightened to do anything else._

"_Yup." The Noah stepped closer, her grin stretching across her face, displaying those perfect teeth. "Silly of you not to notice."_

_------------------------------------------End Flashback-------------------------------------------_

* * *

"Yuu-chaaaan."

"…"

"Yuuuuuu-chaaaaaaaaaaan"

"Lavi, shut up, you'll bring that Noah back."

"I'm just trying to make sure he's ok. YUU-CHA-"

"Shut the fuck up, Baka."

"Oh, you are awake. I was getting worried there."

"I was tying to block out the sound of your voice."

"If you'd answered earlier, I'd have stopped talking to you sooner."

"Tch. I doubt that."

"Guys, shut up!"

Kanda's eye twitched, but he complied. Lenalee looked scary when she was angry.

Lavi on the other hand…

"So, Yuu-chan, how'd you get captured so easily?"

Kanda flushed and muttered something about dodgy architecture.

Lavi's eye widened. "A building fell on you?"

"Well I didn't collapse it on purpose Baka."

Had Lavi not been firmly tied down he'd have rolled on the floor laughing. "The great Kanda Yuu, finally defeated by falling masonry!"

Kanda felt the need to defend his already battered pride. "I was fighting a Noah, and she pulled the building down on me. When I came to, I was already here."

"A female Noah?" Lenalee picked up. "What did she look like?"

Kanda frowned. "Grey skin, black hair, crosses…she looked like a Noah."

Lenalee wished her arms were free so she could throttle him.

"She looked like me." A new voice joined them from darkness behind Kanda, who could only judge from watching his friend's faces that it was someone they knew.

"A friend of yours?"

"Francesca?" Lavi looked utterly confused.

Lenalee looked at him sadly. Of course, he'd already been unconscious by the time Francesca had changed into her Noah form.

"I did mean to tell you Lavi, but I wasn't quite sure what to say."

"Please" the Noah scoffed. "Some bookman you'll turn out to be if you can't spot a Noah from that close."

_Ouch._ Lavi flinched, finding that the seemingly off hand comment actually hurt him.

"Not that you would have anyway. I can see into your soul, Lavi. I know exactly what you feel." She moved in front of him, straddling his lap and leaning into him, her mouth at his ear. Lenalee could see her lips moving but couldn't catch any of the words. Whatever the girl was whispering, it couldn't be good. Lavi's eye dulled and he hung his head.

"You're right." He whispered into the silence of the room, and nobody struggled to hear it.

"What did you say to him?"

Ignoring Kanda's demanding question, she stood up, brushing the creases from her clothes. "I am the Noah of Faith" she announced to the room at large. "I have a wonderful ability that creates feelings of trust in other people towards me, or anyone else that I happen to choose. However…" she gestured to Lavi, who hung limply in his bonds. "I can take that trust away." She gave a wild laugh, clutching her ribs and wiping a tear from her eye. "I have the power to destroy the trust people have in each other and in themselves!"

"What!?" Lenalee stared at the Noah in horror.

"Lavi! Lavi, snap out of it dammit!" Kanda snarled, rocking forwards on the chair he was bound to.

Francesca looked at Kanda thoughtfully. "If you don't stop cursing, I'll have to gag you."

"Fuck off."

The Noah lifted an eyebrow. "It was your choice." She pulled a length of material from her sleeve and bound it around Kanda's mouth. He glared at her. "Tut, tut. Looking at me like that isn't going to help you is it?"

"What do you want?" Lenalee's pleading voice made the Noah turn. She looked like she was giving the question serious thought.

"To destroy you, from the feelings out."

* * *

"No!" Lenalee mumbled. The fight had almost completely gone from her. "I am useful. I can fight!"

"Sure you can…" Francesca soothed in a low voice, running her hand across Lenalee's forehead. "But you can't help anyone really, can you? You can't stop this…"

She placed a sharp heel over Lavi's right foot, pressing down firmly. Lavi didn't stir but the crunching sound of breaking bones made Lenalee feel sick. "See, you can't help anyone."

"I'm no use to anyone" Lenalee agreed, her chin dropping to her chest, her eyes deadening. "I always need rescuing."

Kanda made a small sound, which drew the Noah's attention away from the girl.

"Now then, what makes you tick, Kanda Yuu? What is it that you believe in?"

* * *

Allen drummed his fingers impatiently. "Yes, I realise they've gone, I was just asking whether you had any idea where they might have gone from here."

Despite the usefulness of the Ark, for some reason the closest exit to the known location of Lavi's team was still three day's travel from the inn, so it had taken him some time to reach the destination. Allen was tired of the evasiveness of the owner and slammed his fidgeting hand on the table. "Look, if you don't know, that's fine, but please sir, don't waste my time."

The inn keeper shrugged and moved away. Allen considered his options. 1- Bang his head repeatedly against the table at which he sat. _Hmmm…probably not the most productive…_ 2- Wrap his hand around the inn keeper's scrawny neck and bang his head repeatedly against the table. _Now that one had merit…_ Allen slumped in defeat. _What should I do now?_

* * *

"Oh, this is interesting!" Francesca breathed against Kanda's ear, both her hands pressed on his chest. "What happened to make you so dead inside?"

Kanda glared at her over the gag. She laughed at him. "I don't need you to speak to me to tell me. I can _feel_ what you're thinking."

Kanda tried to jerk her off him, struggling against the bonds that clasped his hands behind his back.

"Now now" she chided him, wagging a finger in front of his face. "That won't do at all." She laughed softly. "Ooooh, who's this?" She paused as though savouring the thoughts. "Is he the one that did this to you?"

Kanda froze very suddenly.

"You're a very interesting person Kanda Yuu, letting one small boy destroy your faith in the world. What did he do to you?" She plunged into his mind further, picking her way along the threads of his thoughts.

Kanda growled a warning, as though daring her to go further.

The Noah laughed. This was too good of an opportunity to miss. She was actually glad she hadn't completely destroyed the female exorcist now- she could feel the girl pulling herself back to consciousness. Kanda was completely unaware, all his attention focused on the Noah who was sitting on him. _What fun!_

"Awww, did he break your heart?" Kanda stared at her. "He took your heart and gave it back in pieces. What a horrible person." The Noah grinned evilly. "He was your first wasn't he? I wonder if you were his…Oh, you don't think so?" She looked round at the other exorcists. "Which one do you think he did first?" she asked in a clandestine whisper.

Kanda's glare softened and he lowered his eyes. The Noah looked satisfied. "Ah, there was still some fight in you after all." She reached for the gag, yanking it away none too gently. "I'll take this off, and you can ask them. You want to know don't you? Whether he touched them the same way as he touched you?" She removed herself from him and walked to the door.

"This boy, you've made me interested in him. I'll be back soon."

"What are you going to do?" Kanda croaked as she began to close the door.

"I'm going to meet him, this Allen Walker." Her laughter mocked him, ringing in his ears long after she had left.

* * *

Lavi was muttering under his breath, and it was annoying her. A lot. But no matter what she tried she couldn't get a response out of him.

"Just forget it Lenalee." Kanda's monotone cut through her desperate calling.

"I'm not giving up!" She frowned at him. "It's a shame you have."

"Tch. I haven't given up; it was hopeless to begin with. Nobody knows where we are. We're tied up; Lavi's got a broken foot and has gone nuts, AND I'M FUCKING FED UP!"

"Wh…what?" Lenalee stared at him in disbelief.

"You heard me." He raised dull eyes to her face. "I'm fed up. Everything good I ever believed in has been taken away."

Lenalee didn't pretend to know what Kanda was talking about. She swallowed, not sure how to phrase the question. "Kanda, what…"

She was interrupted by Lavi, who gave a surprised grunt. "What the hell? Why does my foot hurt?"

"Tch. Stopped talking to yourself now, Baka?"

"Eh?" Lavi blinked stupidly.

"Why did he wake up? Is the Noah's ability not permanent?"

"I don't know. I still feel..." Lavi broke off, his chin dropping to his chest, looking utterly defeated.

"Worthless? Useless? Unhelpful? Unworthy?" Kanda supplied harshly. "Because that's got nothing to do with the Noah, it's the truth."

"Kanda!" Lenalee was shocked.

Lavi however offered his friend a small grin. "Thanks Yuu-chan. I needed to hear that."

"Men!" cried Lenalee, now thoroughly confused.

* * *

Francesca spotted the boy straight away. He was staring longingly into the bottom of an ice-cream sundae glass, as though mourning its emptiness.

She placed her hand on his shoulder, making him jump.

She read him quickly, using the small contact to gain the information she needed. _This would be so easy…_ She couldn't believe her luck. He was actually here, in the same town, and as fate would have it he was one of the most willing to trust individuals that she had ever come across. She probably wouldn't even need her powers on this one. _Hmm…loyal, naive, ooh, injured…nice_.

"Um, can I help you?" Allen's polite enquiry broke her away from her plotting.

"You're Allen Walker?" She wanted verbal confirmation. Despite delving into his thoughts, she didn't have time to complete a thorough search. She also found it hard to believe that this boy was capable of the things Kanda had thought he had done.

"Yes. Who are you?"

"Oh thank goodness! My name's Francesca. I was with two exorcists- but there was a terrible accident." She gave his already trusting soul a nudge with her powers. "You have to come quickly!"

Allen didn't hesitate. "Take me there."

_Good boy…_

* * *

Francesca closed the door, plunging the room into utter darkness, save the eerie green glow coming from Allen's left hand.

The girl lit a candle, which despite its small size cast a faint yellow light into all corners of the room. An obviously empty room.

"What's going on?" Allen turned to the her, only to find himself face to face with a Noah.

_Oh shit_. He watched her cautiously. "Where are my friends?"

"They're here, locked away where no one can see. I'm more interested in you at the moment."

Allen didn't move as she took a step closer. "You see, I was having a little…rummage in someone called Kanda Yuu's head-ah you know him" she noted Allen's small smothered gasp. "And would you believe it, no matter how hard I tried, I found I couldn't use my powers as the Noah of Faith to destroy his trust in…well in anything. Do you know why?"

Allen shook his head.

"Because of you."

"Me?" Allen stopped looking for an exit and stared at the Noah, his eyebrows threatening to disappear into his snowy hair.

"Yes, you. Don't give me that innocent look. I want to know what you did that was so terrible that my job was done by the time I got to him."

Allen finally backed away from the approaching Noah, until his back was flush against the wall.

She put her hand to his face, running a grey finger down his scarred cheek. "Don't worry, it won't hurt. Much."

**

* * *

A/N**

**Ah. I hate this chapter…it's all…meh. And jumps around all over the place.**

**I'm sorry, don't hate me. :(**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	10. BaKanda

**Yikes I'm on a roll. **

**More torture of a graphic nature and a sudden realisation that he probably shouldn't have jumped to conclusions…yeah, I'm talking to you Kanda.**

**Finally, the truth gets out.**

**I don't own D Gray Man, but the little bitch Fran, yeah, she's mine.**

* * *

Chapter 10- BaKanda

"So I hear you're good at playing poker. Or rather, you're good at cheating at poker. You must have a good slight of hand to get away with that during a game. But check out what I can do." The Noah flicked a wrist and a small knife appeared out of nowhere. "Pretty good isn't it? I can do it the other way too." The knife vanished. "Now then. The question is- is your eye for cheating faster than my eye for throwing? Can you cheat my knives Allen Walker?"

Allen continued to watch her carefully. With a blurred movement of her hand, the knife vanished.

"Oops, not fast enough there were you?" The knife was embedded in his left shoulder. He'd not even had chance to activate his innocence. "Let's try again." She watched him with a sadistic smile as he wrenched the knife out, gritting his teeth against the pain. He had just pulled the blade clear when another struck the same spot, making him scream in agony. But even as he pulled the second blade free it was replaced by a third.

"I just don't think you're very good at this" the Noah commented, swirling a fourth blade, point down, on her finger. "You need to stop pulling them out."

Allen growled at her, but even as he went to grasp the hilt, the fourth knife had flown and pinned him against the wall. Now he couldn't move either of his arms, and no matter how hard he tried he could not get his left arm to activate.

He screamed again as longer knives struck his legs. He was now well and truly pinned.

Francesca smiled again, skipping closer. "Now then, let's see what's in that head of yours. And since you lost my little game, I'm not going to go easy on you." She stepped closer, pressing yet another knife against his neck. "Don't try and struggle, these knives are very sharp."

"Hmm…what's this then? You're a sad little boy aren't you? You have trust in everything. Well, we know that, that's what got you here in the first place. But what hurts you the most?"

She leant closer, savouring the metallic scent of blood. She wiggled one of the now numerous knives impaling the boy, making him scream again. _Such a wonderful sound…_

"What's that Walker? Useless? Yes, you are, aren't you? You came to the rescue and you're in worse shape than they are. Some rescuer. Not even a useful exorcist either, are you? Can't defeat anything over a level 2? Tut tut, what sort of apostle of God are you supposed to be? And the one person you wanted to prove yourself to…he thinks you are useless. Harsh."

She laughed, twisting the knife, raising a high pitched scream from the boy's parched throat. "What are you Walker?"

"Useless…"

* * *

"Jesus, what was that?" Lavi jerked against the ropes, a distant scream making him jump.

"Sounds like you're not the only one with a few broken bones." Lenalee flinched as the scream echoed again.

Kanda didn't move. At least if the Noah was busy torturing someone else then she wasn't searching for Allen.

Kanda's scowl deepened as h thought back over what the Noah had said. Had Allen's rejection really hurt him that badly? He hadn't thought it was possible to hurt as much as he did. He looked over the other two exorcists, who were obviously trying to ignore the faint screams. _Were they aware just how much the Moyashi had played with all their feelings?_ He considered asking them, anything to drown out the horrific sounds assailing their ears.

Then, just as soon as the thought crossed his mind, the terrible noise wavered to another pitch, higher and more insistent, before cutting off abruptly.

Lenalee sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

"You're glad someone's stopped screaming?" Lavi asked her.

"Well it means they've passed out and won't feel the pain any more."

"Or they're dead" supplied Kanda unhelpfully.

* * *

Francesca slipped in through the door, a small triumphant smile playing on her lips. _These exorcists are just too much fun to leave alone…_

She crossed the room, settling herself on Kanda's lap as she had done the day before. He tried to tilt away. She was coated in blood, her hair sticking in the congealing mess across her cheeks. Leaning close to his ear she whispered softly "BaKanda."

Kanda froze, staring at her in horror. "What did you say?"

"BaKanda. It's what he calls you isn't it? That Moyashi of yours." She was still speaking too quietly for the others to hear.

"What have you done?" he asked, his voice subdued with suppressed anger.

She laughed again. "You would have saved yourself so much trouble if you'd just spoken to each other." She raised her voice as she spoke. "You are all idiots." She informed them seriously, bending forward to drape something around Kanda's neck. "I'll leave you to talk. Wouldn't want you to leave it too late again, would you?"

_Besides, she had another plaything to entertain her…_

* * *

After she was gone, Lavi spoke up. "Yuu-chan, what did she say to you? I've never seen you look so angry."

Kanda shook his head, his whole body trembling. As they watched, something slid from his neck and puddled between his feet.

Even in the gloom it was clear what it was. The ribbon lay innocently on the cold floor.

Lavi choked back the bile that rose to his throat.

"_Which mean's they've passed out…"_

"_Or they're dead"_

Lenalee wasn't as successful as Lavi, and turned her head, away from the grotesque mockery of the bright red thing, and vomiting violently over the floor. "Oh God." She muttered again and again and again. Once she had control over her nausea, she looked at Kanda. "What did she mean, talk? What's going on Kanda?"

Kanda made a small bitter sound that might have been a sob. "I fell in love with the most amazing person I could have ever met. I opened myself to him like I had to no other, gave him everything I had, and her threw it back in my face. He rejected me, and turned to my _best friend_." The last two words were thrown venomously at Lavi.

Lenalee looked like she finally understood something. Lavi, however, remained clueless.

"Me…and Allen?" He burst out laughing. "You're both crazy!"

"Don't try and deny it Lavi, I saw you both. That morning that it had started to rain. You had your arms around him."

Kanda remembered that morning all too well. It was when Allen had run away from him and into Lavi's arms, and the morning he in turn had run away from everything.

Lavi stopped laughing. "You're actually serious about this?"

"She's right. I saw you both too. Outside, earlier that same morning, before the rain. Embracing each other…" he looked even more spiteful than before.

"That Noah's right. We are all idiots! If we'd just talked about this earlier…" Lavi shook his head slowly.

"That morning," he looked first at Kanda, "I dragged him outside. It was because of the damn ribbon that you brought to me. Somehow everything made sense…he'd been acting weird in the shower, he kept banging his head against the wall, looking like he just wanted to break down. I don't know how I realised, but I did. So I made him tell me everything. And I was the one holding him as he cried because he believed you thought badly of him, and how much he regretted running away. I told him to go and find you."

Lavi turned to Lenalee, who flinched from the forcefulness of the emerald gaze. "It was later that morning that you saw us. I found him outside in the rain, utterly depressed because Mr. Chuckles here had done a vanishing act before Allen found him to apologise. He thought he'd screwed everything up for good. And I brought him inside before he caught a cold from sitting in the rain. I was hugging him because that's what family does when someone needs comforting."

Kanda slumped. The Noah was right. None of this would have happened if he hadn't acted so rashly, demanding a mission to get him away from Allen and the order before giving the boy a chance to speak to him.

"BaKanda indeed."

**

* * *

A/N**

**Just a baby chapter, though the next one is coming shortly. I couldn't face any more torture just before I go to bed. And my brain aches. I need food...**

**Yeah, I know, she's like a Road with knives. Sorry.**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	11. Broken

**So, one banana sandwich later and here I am ready to go again.**

**Another baby chapter.**

**I don't own D Gray Man, but I can claim ownership on the sadist. Just don't point your finger at me when she does something terrible.**

* * *

Chapter 11- Broken

"What are you Walker?"

"Useless…"

"That's right. You can't do anything can you? Not even if I do this" she yanked a blade out. "You can't save yourself, can you?"

"No."

"You can't save your friends, can you?"

"No."

"What about your koi? Cold you save him?"

Allen's blank eyes flickered, something behind them raising itself to the surface. _Kanda…_

The Noah didn't like that. She slapped the blood coated face of the exorcist. "No. You can't. Do you know why?"

Whatever had stirred behind the grey eyes was gone. "Because I'm useless…"

"Good boy."

* * *

When the screaming began again, everybody winced. It sounded closer, louder, though whether that was because the location of the noise had changed or they just heard it more knowing who it was, none of the exorcists could answer.

Their shoulders ached from being tied behind them for too long, their backs throbbed from being tied to tightly to the chairs, and the true nature of the Noah of Faith's power became apparent.

Despite the ferocity of the initial attack, the exorcists had noticed that the helpless, lost feeling had lessened over time, leading them to think that the power was only temporary. But far worse than the original assault was the slow, growing, niggling sensation of despair that snaked through them as they sat in the darkness. They couldn't blot out the noise, so they didn't try, but each scream wore down at them, grinding into them how helpless they were.

Lavi was the first to realise what was happening. So he began to hum.

"Lavi, shut the hell up."

"I'm staying positive. Can't you feel it? The despair, the hopelessness? That Noah's ability is long-term, it wasn't over like we thought. She's been playing us, all the while her attacks been wearing us down."

Lenalee sighed. "It doesn't matter. We've just got to sit here and wait to be rescued, same as always."

"Lenalee, snap out of it! Thinking like that's not helping anyone!"

"Just sit here and wait…someone will come…eventually."

"Tch, just wonderful. Think positive. Got any more bright ideas?"

Lavi had resumed humming.

"Must you really do that?" Kanda sighed in defeat.

"I don't like the quiet. It's too quiet." Lavi rocked the chair backwards and forwards.

"Quiet? You want to have Moyashi screaming again?"

"That's not what I mean, I just-ah!" Lavi had managed to rock the chair forwards enough that it tipped, depositing him onto his feet. He groaned as his broken foot made contact with the floor, the hobbled over to Kanda, walking behind him. "Can you reach my hands?"

"My my, this _is_ a bright idea. I'm mildly impressed."

"Shut it Yuu-chan. Can you reach the rope or not?"

Perhaps the Noah had not expected them to think of doing this, perhaps she had over-estimated the effect her ability would have on them, but for whatever reason, the ropes were easy to untie, and soon Lavi's arms were free. He caught the chair as it began to fall, whimpering as the blood rushed into his numb arms.

"Hurry up!"

"I've got pins and needles!" Lavi moaned as he fiddled with Kanda's knots. As soon as he was free Kanda picked up the ribbon and stowed it away in his pocket. Lavi sat down and nursed his foot as Kanda freed an unresponsive Lenalee.

"Don't take your boot off, baka! If your foot swells up you'll never get the bloody thing back on, and I am not carrying you, Lenalee and Moyashi out of here." He badgered Lenalee to her feet, slapping her face lightly until her eyes focused in on him. "Help Lavi" he ordered her. "Prove you _aren't_ useless."

Lenalee blinked a few times. "Aren't useless?"

"No. Help him walk. We have to find our innocence." Kanda opened the door, looking about carefully. The door opened onto a corridor lined down one side with identical doors, the other with identical chairs. And resting on the chairs directly opposite the door he had just opened…

"Mugen." He lifted the sword reverentially, buckling the sheath to his belt. He passed Lavi his hammer. "I don't like this. It's too easy- it could be a trap."

"It doesn't matter." Lavi slid the size-shifting hammer into the holster at his thigh. "We've got more chance of escaping if we're outside the room than we have if we're tied up inside it."

Kanda nodded. "Fine, let's go." He took a few steps, ten stopped, looking at the floor.

"Lenalee, take Lavi and try and find an exit. I'll try and find Moyashi."

Lavi shook his head. "We are _not_ splitting up."

Kanda cut him off. "We have no idea where he is. You wandering around injured isn't going to get him found any quicker. Besides, I've fought the Noah before, you just tried to get into her pants. I don't think your experience will help here."

Lavi started to argue but was glared down.

"Lenalee's still not with it." Kanda waved his hand in front of the girls face to prove his point. "We need you to get out and contact the Order."

Finally Lavi nodded, though he was clearly not happy with the situation. "Alright, but both of you come back safely, you hear?"

Kanda gave him a curt nod and started walking down the corridor.

"Good Luck Yuu-chan."

* * *

Kanda pushed open door after door in the never ending corridor. He was suspecting a trap more and more as time passed. There was no way to gauge how far he had walked. All of the doors, walls, chairs and even the blank patternless floor looked the same.

He jumped when he heard voices coming from a room a little further along, his hand flying to the sword at his side. The door to the room was slightly ajar.

"That's right, you just keep telling yourself that. I bet it doesn't even hurt any more does it?"

There was a small pause then a pain-filled cry that made Kanda's heart clench. He drew Mugen silently.

"Oh, maybe it does hurt still." The voice of the Noah sounded vaguely surprised. "I didn't think you'd still be able to feel that." There was a sharp crack, the noise of open palm meeting face. "Hey, hey! Don't die on me yet, I haven't finished playing with you." Another slap, followed by a wet sounding groan. "Much better."

Kanda prayed that the door was well-oiled as he pressed his palm against it. The door swung open noiselessly. Hooray for small miracles.

As he raised his eyes to the room, he had to hold back a gasp. The opposite wall was coated in blood, splashed across the pale green walls in various stages of drying. The source of all the blood was a short, fragile figure pinned halfway up the wall. Whatever whiteness occurred naturally to the form that hung limply had been obliterated, washed away by a sea of gore.

Despite his best efforts, a small sound escaped Kanda's mouth.

The Noah turned on him slowly, taking in his shocked, angry expression and the innocence blade pointed in her direction.

"Oh my, it seems I was careless!" She didn't sound bothered, and gave him a wide grin. "I don't want to fight you, it wouldn't be very nice if you died- you exorcists are too much fun not to play with!"

She stepped towards him and he raised Mugen to her face. She tutted as though disappointed by something.

"Take your lover and go. You're boring me."

The Noah stepped around him, heading towards the door. "This won't be the last time we meet. It was good while it lasted." With a last look at the far wall she stepped through the wide open door. "Don't let him die- I think he's my most favourite thing ever- so easy to hurt. All because the person he cares the most for thinks he's useless. I should thank you." And with that she was gone.

* * *

Kanda let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. Sheathing the blade, he almost ran the length of the room.

"Shit." He wasn't sure where to start. The blood encrusted knife hilts were _everywhere._

He clasped hold of the first one, resting his other hand against the boy's bloody face. He felt Allen flinch away.

"Moyashi, can you hear me?"

"…"

"Moyashi?"

"My. Name...Allen." he forced out between gritted teeth.

Kanda smiled grimly. "This is going to hurt like hell."

Allen didn't respond, he just looked at him blankly. Kanda patted his cheek. "Come on now, don't give up on me. I'm going to start pulling them out now."

It took the best part of an hour to remove the broken body from the wall. Kanda had hoped that the boy would pass out so he wouldn't feel the blades coming out, wouldn't feel the slight twisting motion needed to release the suction the flesh had formed around the steel, but Allen stayed awake through it all, his eyes staring at something over Kanda's head, barely flinching as the knives were removed.

Kanda was desperate to get him away from this place, and gathered him as carefully as he could into his arms.

Allen grimaced. He's needed rescuing again. _Useless…_

**

* * *

A/N On a side note you do have to twist a blade to get it out of a body. That's why modern bayonet blades have "air holes" to stop the suction. Of course, we don't expect a Noah to start using military issue knives do we?**

**And I am so very sorry that Kanda did not kill Fran. I promise a satisfying end for the little bitch but I'm not done with her yet. Mwahahaha!!! **

**I am also getting fed up with Allen's pathetic-ness and Kanda's…Kanda-ness. I feel like banging their heads together. Or maybe I'll let Lavi do it… Ah well, more fun coming next chapter. **

**And deepest apologies to ****Niamh, author of The Fine Line. Someone commented that Fran was a little like Sable. It was never planned like that at all, and I don't want people to think I am a terrible idea-pincher of doom.**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	12. Resolution

**No owning of D Gray Man here. **

**And just because because, have some fluff n smut**

* * *

Chapter 12. Resolution 

Allen wouldn't speak to him. Wouldn't even look at him. And it was rapidly pissing him off.

They were both sitting in the hospital wing, Allen was in bed, wrapped in so many bandages it made him look like a version of an Egyptian mummy. Kanda sat by his bedside. Being totally ignored. Kanda looked at him sidelong. The grey eyes were staring intently at the object lying across his knees. Kanda removed his gaze when Allen's arm moved, not wanting to be caught looking.

The mummified exorcist had a book open in his lap, though it was obvious that he wasn't really reading, for his eyes never moved. He scratched his nose with his left hand, using its cover to take a sneaky peek at the stern face of the man sitting beside him. _Why was he still here? _Kanda had hardly moved since they had arrived home. It wasn't as though the Noah was going to get inside the Order, so why the stone-faced bodyguard?

He gave up pretending to read when Lavi burst into the ward. "Hello lovelies!"

Allen rolled his eyes. Just what he needed- a walking, talking migraine waiting to happen.

"So, how are you feeling today?" Lavi sat down with a bounce on Allen's bed, causing little seismic waves to form along the high sprung mattress. "It is still you under there right?" It had been a long running joke over the couple of weeks since they had returned that one day Allen would wrap someone else up in the bandages and run away.

The silver eyes that glowered back at Lavi were definitely Allen's. He gave a nervous laugh. "Alright, I was just joking…" Glancing around awkwardly, Lavi decided to annoy Kanda instead. "So Yuu-chan, what are you doing here?"

Allen flinched at the directness of Lavi's question, though he was desperate to know the answer himself.

"I'm here because I was ordered to make sure Moyashi didn't do anything stupid. Again." Kanda lied smoothly.

_He's here because he was ordered to be… _Allen looked away. "You can leave then, I'm not going anywhere."

Kanda cringed. The first time the Moyashi had spoken to him and he'd been dismissed. He wished he could take back the lie now, but it was far too late.

Allen didn't look at him as he left.

* * *

"Allen." Lavi sounded serious; for once he'd used his actual name. "Why won't you talk to him?" 

"Hmph. He needs to learn to think before he opens his mouth."

"Allen, think about who you're talking about here. You're asking him to change who he is."

"No, I'm not asking anything. If Kanda wants to sort things out he'll have to change himself."

"That," Lavi looked at him pointedly. "Is never going to happen."

"I know."

Lavi's jaw dropped open. "So you're giving up? After everything that's happened?"

"We're just too different. It would never have worked."

Lavi scratched his head. "If you say so Moyashi."

Allen looked up ready to yell at him for the resumed use of the nickname, but was greeted by a vacated space.

He sighed, clenching his fists in the blanket. _Dammit Kanda, why did you have to make this so hard?_

* * *

Lavi caught up with Kanda within a few minutes. The Japanese teen was stalking moodily down the corridor towards his room, parting exorcists and finders along the way. 

"Hey! Yuu-chan! Wait!"

Kanda rolled his eyes but slackened his pace, allowing the panting red-head to catch up to him.

"Why didn't you tell him you didn't mean it?"

"Tch. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Don't be such an idiot! You can see it in his eyes when he looks at you- he's dying to say something, but he's too scared. You have the same look."

"I'm not scared of anything."

"At least stop lying to yourself! Come with me." Lavi grabbed a stunned Kanda's arm and dragged him back the way they had come.

* * *

Lavi slammed the door open with a loud bang, looking uncharacteristically severe as he marched over to Allen's bed, yanking a bemused Kanda along behind him. 

Stopping at the foot of the bed, he pushed Kanda forwards. "Tell him."

"Lavi…" Kanda growled threateningly.

Shaking his head in exasperation, Lavi pushed Lavi towards the head of the bed. Allen sat up carefully, his expression (what was visible under the bandages) puzzled.

"Lavi, what's going on?"

"Tell him." Lavi repeated. His voice did not allow further argument.

"I…um……" Kanda rubbed the back of his neck, where a faint flush was growing.

Allen was forcibly reminded of a long-ago afternoon when the pair of them had been talking beneath the trees. The memory made him look down, hiding his own weak blush.

Lavi, made an impatient noise, earning himself a glare from the dark haired exorcist. "Don't look at me like that Yuu-chan. I'm not going anywhere. If I leave you'll clam up and nothing will get solved." He flicked his gaze to Allen, who attempted to back away, nearly falling off the other side of the bed. "Don't think you're getting away with this either."

Allen gave a little squeak and tried to stabilize himself on the edge of the bed. He failed spectacularly and disappeared over the side, dragging the blankets with him.

"Ow."

Lavi bit back a laugh. That was so Allen. Kanda took Lavi's momentary lapse of concentration to slip out of his grasp and sit down

Lavi lifted Allen back onto the bed. The younger boy was flushed with embarrassment and the bandages across his face had come undone, hanging loosely from his ears. Kanda rolled his eyes and as Lavi bent over to lift the blankets that lay in a heap on the floor, he leant over and began re-wrapping the sagging gauze.

Allen looked into those drowning blue eyes, resentment written all over his face. "I don't need your help."

"Don't be stupid, how can you do this properly without a mirror?"

"I'd manage."

"Do you have a problem with people helping you?"

"Not people, just you."

Kanda felt his hands drop to his sides. _What?_

Lavi stood silently. Kanda was still leaning over the smaller boy, their heads so close…it was an opportunity not to be missed. Without any warning, he rgabbed their heads and cracked their foreheads together.

"Ow! Geez Lavi, what the heck?"

"Lavi you bastard I'm gonna kill you!"

"Hmph. If you ask me you both needed it." He dumped the covers on the bed. "Now get on with it or next time I'll use my hammer."

Kanda turned to Allen, who was still rubbing his forehead, the bandages hanging around his neck. Reaching out, he began to re-tie them again. This time Allen didn't try to argue.

"I never meant for you to hear those words. They were a lie, a lie to stop Lavi asking me questions I didn't yet know the answers to. Or maybe it was that I knew the answers, but didn't know how it made me feel. How _you_ made me feel."

He finished tying the dressing, but didn't move his hands from where they rested, one on Allen's cheek, the other on the back of his neck. "That night with you was the best thing I have ever experienced, and I thought you felt the same way, but then you left straight away…I thought you hated me for what had happened. I wanted to talk to you, but when I went to find you, I saw you with Lavi, hugging him." He saw Allen about to protest, and moved his hand, covering his mouth before the dissent reached his lips. "I know now that I jumped to conclusions, but after what had happened with Lenalee, then me and then what I thought had happened with Lavi…you seemed so well practised, like you knew what you were doing, and I assumed…"

"You assumed I was doing everything that moved?" Allen gently took Kanda's hand off his mouth.

Kanda hung his head. "I apologise."

"What made you think that you were not my one and only?" The smile was only half teasing.

"Well, it…you seemed so confident, made everything look so easy…" Kanda's blush, which had been steady growing, swept across his face impressively

.Allen burst out laughing. "Yes, I've had experience stripping men." The laugh continued as Kanda looked at him, shocked. "Well, one man actually. And you'd be well practised too with my master. He was forever coming home too drunk to do anything except pass out. I often had to help him undress and put him to bed." Allen continued to laugh until tears streamed from his eyes and his ribs hurt. "BaKanda."

Kanda paled. He couldn't believe it…if he's just asked the question at the time…

"I've been very stupid. I'm sorry…Allen."

The use of his name made Allen stop laughing suddenly, like the switch had been turned off. Somehow, it just didn't seem right having anything other than the insulting Japanese nickname coming from those lips.

"You don't have to start calling me that now; I'm used to you insulting my lack of height."

Kanda smiled faintly, recognising the thinly veiled permission to continue using the nickname.

Lavi took the opportunity to slip out of the room…it seemed they'd forgotten he was there anyway…

* * *

"So, how do you feel now, Moyashi?" 

"Much better." He smiled peacefully, leaning back on the pillow, and sighing softly. "I'm glad that was finally sorted out, though the method was a bit extreme. I don't mind a bit of rough stuff, but the blood loss was a bit too much."

Kanda laughed quietly. "You really meant what you said? Am I really your one and only?"

Allen didn't answer; he just gave him a _look._

Kanda's laugh grew louder, though it was still quiet, nothing more than a deep rumble in his chest. He looked deep in thought, face sobering.

"What's the matter?" Allen sat up, suddenly concerned.

Kanda grasped his hand tightly. "When we…I found out it was you we could hear, I would have given anything, done anything to trade places with you, to put myself in your place. You know that, don't you?"

"BaKanda. What good would that have done? I would rather me be hurt instead of you any day."

"I thought I was going to lose you. I never want to feel like that again."

Allen wiped the faint glimmer of a tear from his lover's eye gently with his thumb. "What make's you think I'd ever let that happen?"

"Baka Moyashi." Kanda commented.

"BaKanda" replied Allen, moving closer, resting his head against the strong shoulder of the older figure. He could hear the faint rumble deep inside Kanda's chest, but he knew this was not laughter this time. They held each other as they cried.

* * *

Four days later Allen was allowed to leave the hospital wing. It had been the hardest few days the Allen had ever had to live through. Kanda came to visit him everyday, and they talked, laughed, ate and held each other, getting to know the entirety of each other's being in ways that only the closest of lovers could, but it wasn't enough. Allen could feel the longing coming from the other man, and although his hands had explored the smaller body while they kissed, Allen knew that Kanda had held himself in check, obviously worried about the numerous wounds that were still hidden beneath the dressings. But finally, and not before time in Allen's opinion, the stitches had been removed from all but the two deepest wounds and he was free to leave the hospital ward, with the promise that he would return if he felt ill at any time. 

Kanda appeared in the doorway, as Allen was getting ready to leave before they found another excuse to keep him locked up. "I heard they were letting you go."

"Yes, about time too!"

Kanda stood close behind him, folding his arms around his waist. "I'm glad you've finally had those stitches removed."

Allen melted into the embrace, deciding Kanda didn't _need_ to know about the last two rows of stitches, one along his back and the other on his thigh, not _just _yet. "Mmm." He agreed noncommittally, leaning back against the taller body.

"So what would you like to do on your first day of freedom?"

"Well…" Allen turned in Kanda's arms so he was facing him. "I'm pretty sure I know what I want to do, but I wonder…is it the same thing you want?" There was a dark gleam in his eyes as he pressed his lower body closer.

Kanda groaned softly. "Don't start something you can't finish, Moyashi."

"Who said anything about not…_finishing_?" Allen moved again.

"Are you sure you're new to this? Because you know how to push my buttons."

Allen laughed. "You're just that easy to read."

Kanda felt the fine chords of his control fraying. "Well, I'd prefer not to _finish_ in the hospital room."

"My room's closest."

Kanda laughed at the brazen invitation. "I'm not going to argue with you."

"That's a first."

"Don't push your luck, or I'll leave you on your own."

It was Allen's turn to laugh. "I highly doubt that. I know how long you've been waiting for this." He grasped the back of Kanda's head and drew him towards him, closing the small gap between them, sealing his lips over the older boy's.

When they drew away, Kanda knew Allen was right, not being with Allen was _so _not an option right now.

"Are you coming?" Allen was already on his way out of the door.

* * *

Kanda lay the Allen against the covers, the black cloth framing the pale chest perfectly. He ran his hand over each of the newest scars, a sad look on his face. 

"Happy thoughts Kanda. You saved me remember? Again" Allen held the trembling hand close to him,

"No, you saved me."

Allen laughed softly. "That's so cute."

Kanda immediately scowled.

"Much better, that's the Kanda I know and love. Though the cute Kanda's nice too."

"Moyashi…"

"Oh you know it's true." Allen let Kanda's hand go and sat up, reaching for the other boy's shirt, undoing the buttons slowly, pushing the shirt off the muscled shoulders and onto the floor. Nothing had changed; the body he loved so much was the same as he remembered it, except one small thing. Allen reached for Kanda's wrist, holding it up for a better view. "Kanda…what…"

Kanda looked down at the ribbon tied round his wrist and gave a small smile. "The Noah gave it to me. And I kept it close because it reminded me of you."

Allen felt tears plucking at his eyes. "You're not such a hard ass after all are you?"

"No. But don't let other people know. Everybody will want a Kanda cookie."

Allen giggled somewhat girlishly. "How are you going to buy my silence? I bet Lavi would love a Kanda cookie."

Kanda growled. "Like this." He launched himself at the boy's mouth, pushing him back down.

_Mmm, that'll work…_

Rapid movements made short work of the rest of the clothes, which formed an untidy heap on the floor, forgotten and unnecessary.

Kanda ran his hands down Allen's body, watching the pleasurable goosebumps forming on the skin where he lay his burning touch. When he reached his legs he stopped.

"Moyashi?"

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you tell me you still had stitches in?"

"Um…ooops?"

"Hmm."

"Are you going to stop?"

"That depends on how many more you're hiding."

"Um…"

"…"

"Oh alright, I still have some in my back." Allen looked sulky. "Are you going to stop?"

"No." Kanda didn't give any warning as he took Allen's growing erection in his hand squeezing it gently, making Allen's eyelids flutter.

Allen's hands grasped the covers tightly, his knuckles turning white under the pressure.

He replaced his hand with his mouth, his tongue running tight circles along the length, driving rapid moans from Allen's throat. Kanda couldn't help but laugh, and the vibrations of the action made Allen squeeze his eyes closed and drove a high, pleasure filled sound from his mouth. Noticing the reaction (and it was not hard to miss) Kanda hummed softly, feeling the excitement grow in the body below his. The release came without warning, taking them both by surprise. Kanda swallowed everything Allen gave to him, before turning his face to his lover's.

Allen stared at him with half-lidded, lusty eyes, a lazy smile gracing his face. A lazy, predatory smile. Kanda's eyes widened as Allen crawled down to him, crushing his lips with a punishing kiss and pressing him to the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked

"Returning the favour" Allen replied with a small grin before lowering himself, taking Kanda's length so far into his mouth that Kanda was sure he was going to gag. As Allen moved over him, Kanda heard small, high pitched noises and realised it was him making them. He wrapped his hands in Allen's hair and yanked him up to his face, noticing the slightly surprised look on the boy's face, but not caring. He kissed him with brutality that matched Allen's earlier kiss, leaving their lips swollen and red.

Allen sighed.

"What is it you want?" Kanda whispered huskily in his ear, reaching over for his discarded jacket and digging around for something in one of the pockets.

"I want this…" Allen's hand gave Kanda a squeeze that momentarily made him forget completely what he was doing. "…inside me."

Kanda laughed, still with that same thick voice. "Your wish is my command." Liberally coating his fingers with the contents of the bottle he'd just retrieved he pressed his finger at Allen's entrance. "Ready?"

"Just fuck me." Allen replied, surprising Kanda for a moment.

"Your wish is my command." Kanda said again.

**

* * *

A/N**

**I loved the idea of them both looking at each other when the other was looking away (A Harry Potter moment lol).**

**Lavi the Love fairy, lol. He needs a better hobby. I have to admit, I'd forgotten he was still in the room too….**

**Yeah, my dirty mind was working when I wrote Allen thinking '**_Dammit Kanda, why did you have to make this so hard?_**' It was supposed to be hard as in difficult, but take it whatever way you want to…it had me in stitches anyway.**

**Sorry for the unsuccessfully smutty ending. :(**

**Shock horror, this is the last chapter of this arc. But fret not my lovelies! Future plots for the awesome twosome are a-plenty. After all, my little sadist friend is still out there…**


	13. The Li's secret

**Okay, I lied. I was feeling all….crazy, and realised there was a tiny piece of unfinished business. It's not serious, and the mini-plot will not continue into the next arc, but the thought made me laugh, so I thought I'd share.**

**Of course, still no ownage.**

**

* * *

The Li's secret**

"What? Lenalee still hasn't come round?" Allen waved his hand experimentally in front of the female exorcist's face.

"She hasn't moved since we got back. I wonder if the Noah's attack did more damage to her than we thought." Lavi shook her gently. "Coo-ee, Lenalee!"

"It's obvious that the Noah broke something inside of her. We know female minds are weaker than ours."

"Kanda, you know that's not true."

"Tch."

"Yeah, Yuu-chan, no wonder you couldn't get a girl if that's how you treat them."

"I'm perfectly satisfied in my choice of partner thank you."

"Are you sure? Because it seems to me that you went for the girliest looking guy you could find."

"Lavi…" Kanda's fingers twitched towards Mugen's hilt.

"Hey, was that a crack at me?" Allen, slow as always, chirped up.

Komui bustled in, averting disaster. "Go on now, shoo. I have some maintan…tests to complete on my sister. Off you go."

The threesome left, albeit grudgingly.

* * *

"Was Komui about to say maintenance?" Allen asked as they walked away.

"That baka's got robots on the brain, he can't tell the difference between a machine and a person anymore."

Lavi chuckled, and then froze. "Oh dammit, I've left my book in Lenalee's room. Panda's gonna kill me if I don't get it back to library."

He looked at the others pleadingly. "Don't make me go back alone! Komui will try to use me in an experiment or something!"

Allen and Kanda looked at each other. They had already made plans for the rest of the day.

"Kanda…"

"No, Moyashi, he can take care of himself."

"But Yuu-chaaaaan!"

Unable to deal with both sets of puppy-dog eyes, Kanda sighed. "Fine, but make it quick."

Lavi skipped ahead, reaching the door and pushing it open without knocking. "Oh."

"What is it?" Allen rushed up to him, concerned by the shocked expression over his face. He hardly dared to look into the room, afraid of what he'd find.

Kanda had no such fear, leaning past the slightly taller frozen exorcist and his lover and glanced into the room.

"No way."

* * *

Komui stared at them in horror, a screwdriver in his hand. Lenalee stood like a statue next to him, her chest panel open.

Wait…her chest…panel?

Loose bits of wiring trailed from the square hole and the odd light blinked lazily.

There was a dull thud as the three exorcists all dropped to the floor in a dead faint.

Lenalee was…a robot?!

**You see? It all makes sense…no wonder Komui is so worried about Lenalee getting a boyfriend…the secret would be out!! Or so it happens in my head…**

**Thanks for sticking with me! Give me a few days to get the next arc up and running!! See you all soon!**


	14. Desperate Times

**So here we are again. Ignoring the fact I have SO much other stuff to do I thought I'd get down to business. The events in the next chapters take place about 9 months after chapter 12 ends, which in my mind was the winter before Allen turned 16 (and blatantly ignoring chapter 13, which makes no sense in any way, shape or form. I think I was on something…), making Allen 16 and some months and Kanda (6****th**** June) and Lavi (10****th**** August) just turned 20. So let's see what happens next...**

**Some strange character manipulation- I decided no one could stay the same forever…**

**Would you believe I nearly let a whole day go by without updating?! Shock horror, that's not like me at all!**

**And of course, there is still no sign of me getting hold of the rights to D Gray Man.**

* * *

Chapter 14- Desperate times

"No, I don't want to have to scrub them clean again! I ached for _days_ afterwards."

"Are you sure that was from the cleaning? Come on…nobody has to know."

"Are you kidding? Komui has eyes everywhere, and one of those eyes is attached to a certain bookman."

Kanda laughed. "That's true." He leant closer, putting himself between the flow of hot water and the other exorcist.

"You're making me cold" Allen chided pushing him away.

"That's not all I'm making you is it?" he breathed the words suggestively into the other's ear.

"GUYS! Come on! Please!" Lavi stuck his head over the door, head wrapped in a towel. "Get a room! If you carry on I'll have to tell Komui you were doing it in the showers again-" Allen started to argue but was cut off. "Whether you were or not!"

Kanda laughed, a deep rolling sound of happiness. "Spoil sport."

* * *

Not many months ago it would have been surprising to hear the usually stern, unemotional Japanese man laugh, or smile, or have any kind of expression other than angry, very angry or furious on his face.

But that was before Allen had become a permanent fixture in his life. It was by no means a sudden, miraculous change, but every now and then something other than utter disdain at the world around him began to show through. And it was slowly happening more and more.

At first it had only been in private, those rare moments when they were alone together that Kanda allowed his sentimental side to come forward. He knew that Allen wouldn't tease him about it, wouldn't comment on the improbability when he cracked a joke, or laughed purely because he was happy.

But as more time passed, the less he cared what other people thought, and slackened the grip he kept on his emotions ever so slightly.

Ironically, nobody commented on the change- after all, one couldn't spend so much time around a certain white haired exorcist and _not_ have some of his eternal happiness rub off on them.

Unbeknown to anyone except Kanda, who was closest to him than anybody else would ever be, Allen was no longer eternally happy. There were moments where he was silent, his face a mask of controlled blankness that hurt Kanda to see. Moments when despair began creeping into the silver eyes, clouding them with a pain that the older exorcist would have done anything to take away.

And just as Allen's usually happy nature had mellowed the Japanese man slightly, Kanda's cynicism had rubbed off on Allen. He was no longer the innocent naïve boy he once was.

He was also no longer the bean sprout he once was either, though the nickname had been stuck too firmly in place to be changed now. Just as Allen had once threatened Lavi, the last few months had seen Allen go through a rather dramatic growth-spurt, and although he did not tower over the red head quite yet, he could almost gaze into Kanda's eyes without having to look up, something the older found slightly unnerving.

* * *

"It's a nightmare. Something has to be done before we have no exorcists at all!" Komui rubbed his temples, looking serious for once. "Only two new accommodators in all this time. We have plenty of innocence, but we need the exorcists to wield it."

He sighed, the noise transferring as static over the line.

"The Walker boy." The voice on the other end sounded hard. "We need him to be out there doing his job."

Komui sighed again. "He isn't ready for it."

"Nonsense. He's synchronised at a high enough level. It's the highest rate of any of the current exorcists."

Komui began arguing again. "He's not ready," he insisted. "He's still not fully recov…"

"Everyone has suffered, but the fact remains that there aren't enough exorcists to fight the Earl effectively. What with the new Noah that have been spotted and the one that held four of your exorcists captive last year still at large, the Earl is clearly planning to make his move soon, and we need to be ready. There won't be any more discussion of the matter."

Komui sighed. He knew that it was inevitable, that the day would come, but he had hoped to hold it off for longer. "Yes, sir, I understand the situation."

"Good." The line went dead.

Komui sighed, wondering how to give the news. It was sure to cause a commotion among all the staff. _What to do first?_ He decided to get to work on the latest uniform that he had been developing.

General Allen Walker was going to need a new coat.

* * *

The incessant knocking at the door was beginning to seriously piss him off.

"Aren't you going to answer the door?"

Allen pulled away from sucking Kanda's earlobe just enough to reply. "No."

"Then for goodness' sake let me do it, the noise if driving me crazy."

Allen laughed and rolled away, a slightly wistful look on his face as he got off the bed and wandered to the door, pulling it open and surprising the finder who stood there, his arm raised, ready to begin knocking again.

"Yes?"

"Um…" the finder seemed unsure how to address him. Perhaps he was new.

Allen gave him a bright smile. "Can I help you?"

"Komui-san would like to in his office right away, Sir Walker." The finder flinched as Kanda appeared scowling at Allen's shoulder. "He said that you should also be there, Sir Kanda."

"Tch. We'll be along shortly."

"If it's all the same to you, Sir Kanda, Komui-san said he would like to see you immediately." The finder trembled, wondering if it was safe for him to repeat Komui's message word for word. "He…he told me to drag your n…naked, s…s…sodomising behinds to the office myself if you re…re…refused."

Allen felt Kanda tense behind him in rage, and slipped his hand behind his back, taking Kanda's hand, which was shaking with anger in his.

"We'll be right down" he told the finder calmly before shutting the door firmly in his face.

Kanda was seething. "How dare he! I'm going to go down there and rip him to shreds, with my bare hands! Mugen's too good for that bastard."

Allen laughed softly, drawing the enraged samurai closer. "We better go and see what he has to say for himself."

Kanda grunted his assent. "But when we get back, I have some unfinished business with you."

* * *

"As you know, we are in rather a desperate situation. In the last year three new Noah's have come forward, though only one of those has actually been engaged in battle. As you know all too well." Komui looked at them over clasped hands, leaning forwards over his (remarkably clear) desk.

Lavi, who was leaning against the wall, watching the proceedings from a purely bookman perspective shifted suddenly, as though he had flinched.

Allen touched the faint scar across his throat that a certain Noah has caused by pressing an extremely sharp blade against it. His hand shook slightly at the memory, and Kanda took the trembling limb in his own, enfolding it in his lap.

Allen glanced at him gratefully.

"Our severe lack of personnel means that the situation is only going to get worse. We have the innocence, we need the accommodators."

Kanda and Allen looked at each other, and then at Lavi, who shrugged.

_Looks like no one knows where this is heading._

Reever opened the door and slid in, holding a largish box in his arms. "It's ready supervisor."

Komui nodded grimly. "Perfect timing. Just put it down on the desk, thank you."

When Reever had retreated against the wall (he didn't want to miss this for the world), Komui motioned for Allen to come closer. "As you know, it is a general's job to travel the world, trying to find accommodators for the innocence we collect." Komui motioned for Allen to open the box.

Allen warily looked at it as though he were afraid it would bite him, slowly removing the lid. He looked from the contents to Komui's tired looking face. "I don't understand…" His fingers brushed the shiny gold button almost reverentially. He lifted the long heavy coat from the box, revealing it in all its black and gold glory.

Komui sighed regretfully. "It's your new uniform, General Walker."

* * *

Allen stared at Komui. He hadn't moved for 5 minutes. Kanda squeezed his hand gently.

"Moyashi?"

No response.

Kanda looked at Komui for some help, all previous homicidal thoughts towards the supervisor gone. Komui just shrugged.

"Um, General Walker?" Reever attempted

Allen snapped back to himself. "Don't call me that."

Kanda sighed with relief. "How are you?"

"Shocked, I guess." Allen looked at the coat he was still clutching. "How did this happen?" He directed his question at Komui.

"It's been in the works for a while now. You are synched with your innocence at more than 100, which is one of the indications that someone is of General material. But we are so under-staffed that the higher ups pushed the promotion through. And here we are."

Allen laughed loudly, a half-wild unnatural sound. "There's got to be some mistake. I'm not a good enough exorcist to be a general. Stop messing around Komui, and tell me the truth."

Komui looked down at his desk, but remained silent.

"Komui..?" Allen's voice faltered.

"This is no joke, General. Tomorrow you leave to track down some new exorcists. I suggest you say your goodbyes now. You won't be returning to the Order for some time."

**

* * *

A/N**

**I use the words gentle and soft far too often, and so am always using the thesaurus to find something else instead, and the one thing that keeps popping up for 'soft' is the word 'squashy' and for some bizarre, unknown reason, despite the fact that it would make no sense whatsoever, I keep being tempted to use squashy instead. I just like the word I guess. Well anyway, random ramble over with.**

**Heh, remember the threat WAY back in chapter 3…he's not quite there yet but I couldn't have Allen midgetified forever!**

**Poor, unnamed Finders. I just can't make myself care about them LOL.**

**I also apologise for the shortness of this chapter, but I wanted to set the scene. Don't hate me too much!**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**


	15. Desperate Measures

**My my what's this? Another update? I can't help it...the ideas pour forth and I am possessed to write...plus reviews make me squishy.**

**Beware awful squishy-lovey stuff. I don't know what's come over me...or Kanda for that matter.**

**Still not received those damn ownership papers…for which I am sad.**

* * *

Chapter 15- Desperate measures

Kanda held the young General close as he cried. Allen had finally allowed all his emotions to break free of their restraints and the result was wave after wave of feeling that he had no idea what to do with, that crashed through his body, reducing him to the grieving wreck that Kanda held so protectively.

Utterly at a loss, Kanda could do nothing but hold the weeping boy and wait for the wracking sobs to abate.

"Hush, it's not going to be that bad. You'll be back here before you know it. Plus you're bound to bump into someone you know! We exorcists get into the strangest places."

Allen knew that Kanda was trying to cheer him up, but he wouldn't allow his lover's weak jokes to get the better of him. He shook his head mutely.

After a while he eventually spoke up. "There has to be some mistake. There's no way they'd choose me over someone like you! You're a far better exorcist than I'll ever be."

Kanda looked at him incredulously. "Are…are you apologising to me for being promoted over me?"

Putting it like that made the whole idea seem silly. "Um…yes?"

"Baka Moyashi" was all the response he got, but it told him he'd been rather stupid.

"Sorry" Allen apologised again.

"Stop apologising."

"Sorry."

Kanda gave him a small slap on the back of his head. "Now, I'm supposed to take you down to the dining hall, where I gather they're planning a surprise. I'm telling you now so that you know what's coming. You can just stay here if you don't feel up to it."

Allen shook his head. He looked a little happier but there was a deep lingering sorrow in his eyes that Kanda worried would never go away. "This is the best chance I've got to say goodbye. It's a shame not everyone's here."

Kanda knew that 'everyone' meant Lenalee, who was away on a mission. "Come on then, let's get the frivolities over with."

Allen didn't laugh, but his smile widened ever so slightly.

* * *

"_GOOD LUCK GENERAL WALKER!"_

Allen flinched when he read the banner hanging across the canteen. He was starting to hate that 'G' word with a passion. He had still refused to put his coat on.

Lavi launched himself at the (only slightly) smaller boy, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"So, General-chan, where are you planning on going to first? I'm so jealous; you get to wander around the world, doing what ever you like, nobody to annoy you…"

Kanda removed Lavi from around a now very depressed looking Allen's neck. "You're not helping baka."

Lavi looked surprised and leaned around Kanda to get a better look at the white-haired boy, who had moved away and was chatting animatedly with a group of finders, all traces of his earlier depression gone. "Is he alright?"

Kanda pulled Lavi to the side, away from prying ears. "Not in the slightest. He's trying to hide it, but I can tell. He's crying on the inside."

Lavi frowned. "I thought he'd have been happy. I would have been."

"But you aren't him, are you? You know what he's like; he's got no confidence in his own ability." Kanda passed a palm over his tired eyes. "Sure it's earlier than we expected, but we all know he's going to do a great job. He's the only one who can't see it."

"He's worried people will treat him differently, and he'll loose the few friends he has left because of the difference in rank?" Lavi was struck by the sudden insight.

Kanda nodded. "I'm going to ask you a favour, and I don't care if you never listen to me every again, or you call me by my first name 'til the day I die, but please, do this one thing for me."

Lavi was shocked at the sudden, heartfelt plea. "Sure, Yuu-chan, what is it?"

As proof of his sincerity, Kanda let the use of the name slide. "Don't treat him differently. And don't call him General unless it's something official. Just treat him the same as you did before."

Lavi gave Kanda a lop-sided grin. "I'm surprised you had to ask, Yuu-chan. He's still the same old Moyashi, no matter what the colour of his coat says."

Kanda gave a small smile, glad the red-head understood. "I just hope everyone else is so understanding."

* * *

Allen slipped away while no one was looking. He couldn't face the long goodbyes, everyone's false cheerfulness, that bloody banner staring down at him and laughing.

He closed his bedroom door, thankful for the silence but hating the solitary, empty space of his room. Glad to be alone, but wanting to be held.

* * *

Kanda slipped into the room. No one else seemed to realise that the guest of honour had left, but it only took him seconds to notice the absence of a certain white-haired figure.

He closed the door silently behind him, unsure whether Allen was asleep. He was stretched out on the bed, facing away from the door. Kanda approached the bed, still noiselessly, but the irregular movement of the younger man's side showed that he wasn't asleep yet.

"Some farewell party."

Allen's voice startled Kanda as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I hate this! Why did they have to choose me? There are plenty of other people who could do this job. Hell, you wouldn't even have to be a General to do it!"

Kanda laid his hand on Allen's arm, unsure what to say. "You were the best choice for the job; I know that, Komui knows that, everyone knows it but you. It's happened earlier than we all expected, but we knew it would happen."

Allen blinked at him, a confused look on his face.

"We all know you are capable of amazing things."

Allen smiled, but it was not a happy one. "I don't know when I'll see you again."

"But you will, that's all you need to remember."

"When did you become so understanding?" Allen rested his forehead against Kanda's shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of the older body.

"About the same time you became so damn depressing." Kanda felt Allen's mouth turn up in a smile against his skin.

"I'm sorry" the younger mumbled, turning his head and replacing his forehead with his cheek.

"Tch, what did I say about apologising?"

"I'm sorry." Allen repeated his words, not really listening.

"It's not the end of the world! You'll be back at the order before you know it." Kanda decided it was time for some tough love. He grabbed a handful of Allen's snowy hair, which was starting to creep past his shoulders, and turned his head so that he could look into those bright, silver eyes that held so much hurt.

Kanda crushed their mouths together hard enough to draw a pained gasp from the other's throat. When he released him, Kanda pressed their foreheads together. "And I will be here waiting for you."

Allen gave a small laugh. "Let me say farewell to you properly then." He reached behind Kanda's head and pulled the silky dark hair free of the tie, allowing the shining curtain to cascade around them, enveloping them both in the sweet smell of the soap that Kanda so assiduously washed it with.

Kanda's heart clenched. "This isn't farewell." He hated how final the word sounded.

"Oh? Then what is it?"

"It's 'goodbye for now'."

"It sounds the same to me."

"Just trust me."

"I do. Completely and utterly with every aspect of my soul."

"That was very poetic."

"Wasn't it though? I couldn't let you be the only one to spout mush." A teasing grin appeared on Allen's face. "Can I say…um…'goodbye for now' now?"

Kanda let Allen push him down onto the bed. "I wouldn't dream of stopping you."

* * *

Allen woke early the next morning. Kanda was still fast asleep, his hair thrown carelessly over the pillow. Allen sat watching his lover sleep for a while, reaching over to sweep a few of those glorious dark tendrils from the sleep-flushed face.

Kanda was still asleep when he returned from the showers. Allen didn't have the heart to wake him, after all it was still very early- the sun still had not risen, and only the muted light of pre-dawn filtered through the window.

He cast the offending coat a sour look, but it was too cold not to wear it, and Komui had hidden his previous black and silver one, forcing him to pull on the gold edged coat for the first time. It hung to just above his knees in much the same way as his previous coat did. He left it hanging open, pulling on a pair of white gloves as he left the room, feeling very conspicuous in his new ensemble.

* * *

Silently, and with a heavy heart, Allen made his way down to the dining hall, not noticing the people who spoke to him as he passed. He hoped the canteen would be pretty much empty at this ungodly hour, and his wish was granted. Only Lavi sat in a far corner, his head lying on an open book with was becoming rapidly coated in a layer of thick drool.

Placing his order with Jerry who smiled at him sweetly, Allen sat down next to Lavi, who as well as drooling was also snoring. He looked like he was having a very nice dream- he kept nuzzling the book. _"STRIKE! You're just my type!"_ he muttered to the book. _"Don't be shy; I'll take care of you…"_

Allen stifled a laugh and began on his breakfast, listening to Lavi's murmurs as he ate.

"_Ooh, you are a saucy minx aren't you? Come back here…"_

Lavi was still asleep by the time Allen had finished eating. He looked at the red-head fondly, and then noticed the marker pen sticking out of the sleeping bookman's back pocket. An evil gleam appeared in Allen's eyes. _Hehe…payback…_

* * *

He picked up his case. It was still dark, and Kanda hadn't moved when he got back to the room. Look's like I really wore him out Allen thought with a small self-satisfied smirk. He laid his lips over the sleeping man's forehead, whispering softly "Goodbye for now."**

* * *

A/N Do you ever get the urge to stick a long word in just cos it looks good? Assiduously- it means diligently, attentively, thoroughly, carefully etc ;)**

**I'm kinda worried though...there's an odd smell in my room and I'm trying to remember if I owned pet before I became obsessed with writing this damn fic and whether it crawled away and died under mybed or something... not the fic, you understand, the (maybe) pet... **

Much Lovage

Aerika-san


	16. Three little words

**Very, very small Kanda-centric emo-chapter because…because. Actually it's cos I'm so busy writing the goings-on in Allen's future at the moment I thought he was getting a bit neglected, so I had a fiddle with his feelings. LOL I am so sorry for the utter cheesy-ness of it all. So very very sorry.**

**I don't own Kinky Kanda, Awesome Allen or any other D Gray Man character…**

* * *

Chapter 16- Three little words

Kanda didn't know how he knew, but he did. Allen had gone- left without letting him say goodbye. Perhaps it was better this way. If they never actually looked at each other it would be easier- they wouldn't need to hide the pain, or tell each other lies like 'it won't be long' and 'we'll see each other soon' while all the while their hearts screamed words like 'don't leave me', 'I don't want to be alone.' But Kanda found himself hating the selfishness of his lover, hated him in the briefest of moments because he'd been too frightened to allow himself to admit he didn't want to leave.

* * *

He showered and dressed, stalking through the slowly busying corridors and hallways, completely indifferent to the goings on of the people around him, but all the while longing for comfort.

He entered the canteen, spotting Lavi draped over a table, an open book beneath him. Kanda didn't feel hungry, so he sat quietly next to the bookman and waited for him to wake up.

Presently, Lavi opened his eye and blinked dozily at Kanda, who was struggling to keep his face straight. Finally he could hold it in no longer an he let out a wild laugh, making a nearby group of finders turn in surprise. Soon, they too were laughing.

"Have I missed something?"

"I think you missed Moyashi. He didn't miss you though."

"Eh?" Lavi looked around, and his eye fell upon the pen which as lying on top of the book he had fallen asleep on. "He didn't?"

Still laughing at the scrawls and doodles all over the red-head's face, Kanda handed him a scrap of paper which had been pinned to the unsuspecting bookman's back.

"_Serves you right, you've had it coming for a while!" _The note was signed with a little chibi Allen head.

"I'm gonna kill him! Where is the little sprout?"

"The little sprout has already left." There was no trace of laughter in Kanda's voice now. He looked at the note Allen had stuck to Kanda's back sorrowfully. Allen hadn't left him a note. Nothing. Just a cold empty space to wake up to.

Lavi didn't quite know what to say, but he laid his hand on Kanda's shoulder as he left, intent on washing the ink from his face.

* * *

Kanda did not return to Allen's room. He couldn't face the thought of that blank empty space, and instead went back to his own. And found himself hating the emptiness even more. He longed for a mission, something to distract him from the obvious absence, the ray of light that had vanished from the corridors of the Order.

After a week of moping, when he hardly ate, hardly spoke, in fact hardly did anything at all, Komui finally handed him a mission.

"We're pretty sure the phenomenon is caused by innocence." Komui told him as Kanda flicked through the file. "Some form of madness. The people in the affected area keep talking about seeing the mysterious spectre of an ancient warrior, and once they have they fall into a gibbering state of psychosis."

Kanda grunted. Any mission was fine with him, as long as it got him away from the Order and focused his mind on something else.

"Fine. I'll leave tomorrow."

Komui nodded. As Kanda stood up to leave, Komui's voice held him back. "We all miss him."

* * *

Kanda didn't want to spend the last night before a potentially gruelling mission alone, but Lavi had already been acquisitioned by Bookman and Lenalee had not returned from her mission. There was no one else Kanda wanted to be with, so instead he locked himself in Allen's room, sitting on the bed with the blankets pulled up to his chest, inhaling the scent that had not faded despite the week-long absence of the owner. He threw himself backwards, landing heavily on the pillow, which gave a sort of papery rustle. The sound should not have come from the feathery pillow. Intrigued, Kanda stuck his hand under the cushion and pulled out a now slightly crinkled letter.

_Kanda;_

_I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to tell you goodbye to your face. I want nothing more than to see your face as the boat pulls away, but I know in my heart that if I wait for you I'll never leave._

_I don't know how long it will be until I can see you again, but I know it will be soon, and it is with that thought I am able to leave you sleeping._

_Keep yourself out of trouble. If you're in the hospital when I get back I won't be happy!_

_Please be careful._

_I love you. A. X_

Kanda choked back a sob. He lay back down clutching the letter in his clenched fist, not releasing it as he began to drift off to sleep. Tomorrow, he would have to start living without Allen, but tonight, he had memories and three little words at the end of a letter.

**

* * *

A/N Yeah, now I feel stupid…**


	17. Master and pupil

**Well here we go…time for the real story to begin! WOOOOOOO!!**

**I don't own D Gray Man, but quite a few OCs will be popping up from now on. This chapter, meet one James Harvey,**

* * *

Chapter 17- Master and pupil

Allen leant back against the tree and sighed contentedly. He had thought that exorcists were well respected before, but as a General… He'd had to leave the finders base before he got so used to his every need being met that he never wanted to depart.

He did not want to get used to preferential treatment- he did not want to turn into a General like his old master.

He was mildly surprised at how easy these first few months had been. It wasn't such a hard life, really, this General lark. When the weather had started to turn cold, he had moved on to sunnier climes, which accounted for the face that it was New Years Eve and he was sitting in his shirt sleeves, on a beach, in New Zealand.

His job was a deceptively simple one. Gather innocence and wander around apparently aimlessly, waiting for the innocence to react with someone.

Allen couldn't help but feel slightly pleased with himself. He'd already found a new accommodator, but had passed the care of the somewhat scary-looking girl over to General Cloud, who still hadn't replaced her team that were annihilated by the Noahs.

Anyway, what did he know about mentoring a new exorcist? His own training had been- unorthodox to say the least.

He was also carrying 4 innocence fragments. Or rather, Timcampy was carrying the innocence, as Allen thought they'd be safer inside the seeming bottomless storage capabilities of the golem than on his person.

He made regular reports to Komui at the Order, though he never spoke to anyone else, and now and then Komui would dispatch finders or exorcists to look into phenomena that Allen had come across but not had the time to investigate.

The higher ups were immensely pleased with themselves, congratulating each other on the sheer brilliance of promoting the young exorcist, while at the same time conveniently forgetting that the whole thing had been done as an act of desperation. .

* * *

Despite what Kanda had said, he never came close to seeing anybody from the Order, save the odd finder when he stopped by one of their bases. And, although he never showed it, the loneliness was slowly eating him up inside. But he wouldn't let that affect his work- he had been quietly determined not to let any of the people who believed in him down, so concentrated on his task, focused and dedicated.

The months had passed slowly. Allen celebrated Christmas and his birthday alone, sitting in the small hotel on the other side of the world, watching the festivities that were taking place, seeming so odd to be happening during the heat of summer. Allen knew that given the chance, he would rather have been back in the cold, dreary winter of England, celebrating with his friends than this empty paradise any day.

All in all, Allen was doing a rather good job. That was what worried him. He was worried that it was all going too well and any day now it was going to turn around and bite him firmly on the arse. He was just waiting for that day to arrive.

The day was the 3rd January. And boy, it bit him hard.

* * *

Timcampy bobbed up and down excitedly, opening its mouth to reveal the glowing innocence fragments. _So there was a future exorcist nearby?_ Allen looked around but the street was deserted. Then, without warning, a small blurred shape jumped from the roof of a building, grabbed Timcampy and dashed away. Allen swore violently and sped off in pursuit, eventually cornering the thief in an alley.

"Let Tim go."

The thief was a young boy of about 13 years, dirty and street worn, with what might have been blonde hair beneath all the filth and chocolate-brown eyes. The boy glowered at Allen, taking in the taller boys unusual hair and eye colour, and the shiny gold buttons glinting in the weak light of the alley.

"And if I don't?" the boy sneered "what are you going to do about it?"

"Me?" Allen seemed mildly surprised. "I won't do anything. Him, on the other hand…" He gestured to the golem, who sank his teeth into the urchin's dirty fingers, drawing a little blood. The boy let the golem go quickly, but to Allen's amazement, the golden orb did not fly away from the would-be-golem-napper, but instead bounced up and down on his head a few times, its mouth wide open again, spilling the greenish glow of the innocence out.

"_He's_ the accommodator?" Allen asked Tim in disbelief. "Are you sure?" He removed the innocence that Tim offered him doubtfully. "If you say so…"

"What's this?"

Allen blinked. His hands, which had been holding the fragment a second ago, were now empty. The boy was holding the innocence, turning it this way and that.

"Nice trick. Here's mine." Allen clobbered the boy over the back of his head, taking the innocence back

"This is innocence. It's a weapon of God that we exorcists use to destroy Akuma."

"Wuh?"

Allen sighed. "What's your name, kid?"

"James Harvey. Jim."

"Alright Jim, come with me. I need to explain everything from the beginning but I'm starving, I need something to eat first."

Jim followed the strangely-garbed youth to a small restaurant, the thought of not following never occurred to him. Allen ordered at the counter while Jim took a seat at one of the tables.

Allen joined him shortly, handing him a glass of some soft drink or another, nursing his own cup of tea with gloved hands.

While he waited for his meal, Allen began to explain the ins and outs of innocence, the Black Order, the Millennium Earl and the Noah Clan. He was just about to launch into the story of how they had got hold of the Ark when his food arrived.

Jim sat in stunned silence as his white-haired companion began demolishing an insane amount of food in a ridiculously short time period. When he had finished Allen stretched out, releasing a small burp. "Oops, sorry! Now where was I?"

Jim gaped. "What…how…why…WHERE?"

Allen laughed at the boy's expression. "My innocence is a parasitic type- it takes a vast amount of energy to use, so I have to eat loads."

"How come you're so skinny?" the boy asked bluntly.

"It all goes into my arm. There's where my innocence is." He pulled off his left glove, showing Jim the glowing cross embedded in it.

"Wow…" Jim surprised Allen by not being repulsed by the hand, reaching out to touch it. "That's so cool!"

Allen grinned happily. "I wonder what your innocence will be like."

"I'm dying to find out!"

"I'll take you to a finder base. You can wait for someone from the Order there."

"Can't I go with you?"

"Look kid, I might be a General, but I'm no good as a mentor. You need a proper teacher."

"You're a General? How old are you? You must be way older than you look! Are you really strong?"

Allen laughed at the enthusiasm. "I'm 17. And no, I'm not particularly that strong."

"I bet you're lying! How else can you be a General? You're only four years older than me!"

Allen wasn't listening. His left eye activated, spinning with a loud whirring noise. "Get down kid!" he pushed Jim under the table. "Akuma, and they want the innocence. Stay here with Tim and DON'T MOVE!"

With that Allen dashed from the restaurant, leaving a very bemused Jim in his wake.

Allen skidded to a stop in the middle of the street, where he was confronted with two level three Akuma.

They sneered at him. "What's this? Dressing kids up as Generals now? The Order has sunk low!"

Allen cast his eye over them, taking in the hazy purple shadow of the souls tapped within their artificial bodies.

He activated his innocence, Crown Clown's white cloak billowing despite the almost non-existent wind. He charged at them, cutting one down straight away, although the other managed to move away in time. As Allen spun ready to attack again, he caught movement at the corners of his vision as numerous level one and two Akuma came into view.

"Great." He set to work, wasting no time, but the more he cut down the more seemed to appear. Eventually, after fifteen long minutes there was only the level three left. He looked around, breathing hard, but there was no sign of the Akuma anywhere. _Where are you, you bastard?_

Jim didn't understand. Why was Allen just standing there? The Akuma was right in front of him- but he was acting as though he couldn't see it.

The Akuma raised its arm, and still Allen didn't move, his eyes were flicking from side to side. _He's still here; my eye can sense him, so why can't I see him?_

"Look out!" Jim cried as the arm swung down. He leapt out from under the table in a burst of green light.

Allen blinked. The Akuma was right in front of him, its arm pressed against a large, greenish, glowing shield.

_Innocence… _

Allen turned and looked at Jim. The smaller boy was panting with the effort he sudden desperate invocation had caused him. He had an arm outstretched in the direction of the innocence shield.

Allen turned back to the shocked Akuma. "I see you."

He thrust his clawed fingers into the Akuma and ripped upwards, destroying it immediately.

He dashed to Jim's side, grasping his shoulder with his right hand; he wasn't risking deactivating after that last Akuma had managed to hide from his eye.

"Kid! Hey, Kid! Jim!" Allen shook him gently. "Don't worry, it's all over now, it's gone. Thanks to you, eh? You really saved my skin there! Come on, you can deactivate it now." He spoke quietly, soothing the stunned boy. The shield vanished, but as Allen watched a small green dot appeared on Jim's forehead.

"I might be wrong, but I think you've got parasitic type innocence too." He looked at the boy thoughtfully, and helped him to his feet.

"Tell me, what were you thinking? What made the innocence activate?"

They both started to walk back towards the restaurant, both stumbling at the same time, Allen's innocence deactivating of its own accord.

"First things first- we need more food!"

* * *

"I don't really understand it. I just saw the Akuma start to attack, and you still couldn't see it at all, and I just sort of…" Jim groped for a word. "Imagined something in between you and the Akuma. And then there was."

Allen raised his eyebrows. "Manifestation. Sounds like a useful thing to have around."

"So you'll let me stay with you?"

Allen sighed. "I've told you, I'm no mentor, but I'll tell you what. I'm ready for a trip home, so I'll take you back there myself. It'll take a couple of months."

"MONTHS? I want to be an exorcist now! I want to fight like you did, I've never seen anything so amazing in all my life!"

Allen laughed. "And we'll be taking the short cut. Think how long it'd take us going the normal way."

"Normal way? Um…in what way is the way we'll be using not normal?"

"We'll go to China from here, and then hop the Ark home. Plus I feel like paying a few friends at the Asia branch a visit."

Jim didn't try to understand what was being said.

Allen grinned. "Come on, come back to the hotel I'm staying at and get rested, we'll leave in the morning."

Jim couldn't quite place it, but Allen seemed happier now, like a weight had been lifted. _Maybe he's homesick…He must be glad to be going back_.

**

* * *

A/N**

**So there we go General Walker has a fanboy**

**Next chapter, Allen returns home…**


	18. Home

**Here we go, back to the Order. **

**I no own D Gray Man, but fan boy Jim is mine…well actually he's Allen's but you know what I mean! **

* * *

Chapter 18- Home 

"Jim." That one smell word made the teen freeze guiltily.

"Yes, General?"

"Don't call me that!" Allen snapped, scowling at the other boy.

"Well what do I call you then? You won't let me call you Master, or Teacher, or General."

"Call me Allen, call me Walker, hell, just shout 'Oi' and I'll respond, but unless you want to _crawl_ back to the order, I suggest you refrain from using anything else."

"Yes, Allen sir." Jim grinned. It looked like Allen had forgotten what he was going to tell him off for in the first place.

"I haven't forgotten. Stop using your innocence like that…" Allen trailed off as a suspicious looking glowing green dog wandered past him. "I mean it kid."

Jim snickered. It hadn't taken long for him to work out just how to push Allen's buttons. Not that he didn't respect his General, in fact just the opposite- he idolised him. It was just that Allen was easy to mess with.

And if he ever went too far, Jim could just appease him with food.

* * *

Jim soon began to appreciate just how much energy was needed to feed his innocence, and his meals with Allen usually culminated in an eating contest and a game of poker to see which of the pair would foot the bill. 

At the moment, it was Jim who had been forced to fork out. He had a surprisingly large amount of cash on him considering the state he'd been found in. He had thought that with his sleight of hand he would easily beat the young General, but the Kiwi had seriously underestimated the cheating prowess of his companion. Jim was fully aware that Allen was cheating, but somehow he was never able to catch him at it. He didn't really mind, after all, he was cheating too.

Allen had given a dark laugh and lay down another winning hand. "Looks like the meals on you again kid." He felt a little bit bad about making Jim pay all the time- it reminded him of how Cross had used him during his own apprenticeship, but the guilt would not stand up as an argument against his dark side. He would not allow himself to lose to anyone

* * *

"But I'm practising!" Jim complained. "I need better control!" 

"You're getting much better, I'm impressed, but that doesn't mean you should do it walking down the road." Allen thought back only a week, when even the smallest thought had materialised. And Jim, being the hormonal teen he was, soon had a gaggle of glowing, green, naked girls surrounding him. Allen had been quite traumatised.

Jim's control was getting better though, now these lapses only occurred when he became distracted, usually whenever something in a skirt or a food cart went by.

Allen was secretly very proud of the boy. He scrubbed up well, with sun-bleached wavy blonde hair and tanned skin that had been hidden under the dirt. The boy was also full of self confidence, despite his rough start in life.

Jim's family had been drowned at sea when their boat capsized some years before, and he had been the only survivor, washed up on a beach. He couldn't remember the events that led to the death of his parents and his brother, but he remembered his family vividly and loved to tell Allen about his childhood. Allen would listen quietly, mentally comparing Jim's stories to his own childhood. Some aspects were very different, but others were much similar.

"So I used my cheating skills to make money. It worked great, I earned loads, but I always had to give it to the man who owned the hostel I was staying at. I was never proud of the way I made money, but even after I left I carried on."

Jim looked a little ashamed.

Allen laid his hand on Jim's shoulder. "We've all done stuff we wish we hadn't, but no one's going to judge you." Allen decided to pay for that night's meal.

* * *

"WALKER!" Fou didn't sound like her usual self. She was too…happy. Allen was immediately suspicious. 

"Hi Fou." He looked at her warily. "How's it going?"

"Everything's great."

"Why are you so happy?"

Fou laughed. "Are you kidding me? Not only does _General_ Walker grace us with his presence, he's got himself a pupil!" She seemed to think the whole thing was hilarious.

"Fou, I'm just taking him home."

"A pupil, Walker?" Bak asked curiously

"NO!"

"He wont have me," added Jim helpfully. "Doesn't think he's good enough for me." Jim smiled kindly at Allen who huffed and walked away, starting up a conversation with a nearby group of scientists.

Bak questioned Jim about his innocence. "It sounds interesting. Shame Komui gets first dibs on these things. After all, I too am a brilliant scientist!"

Jim looked at Allen, who was still chatting animatedly to the gathered white-coated crowd.

"I've never seen him like this. He's so…normal. I've only ever seen him, I don't know…grouchy."

Bak sweat-dropped. "Walker, grouchy?" He hooted in laughter. "Stop messing with me kid."

"You mean he's normally like this?"

"He's almost _always_ like this."

_Guess he __**was**__ homesick after all._

"Can we go now?" Allen rejoined them. "I didn't actually tell Komui I was coming back- I thought the kid deserved a head start. I've warned him what's coming."

"And he's still going? Brave of him" Fou commented.

Jim gulped, looking worried.

"She's just playing with you kid." Allen grabbed him. "Come on, home time!" he sounded positively gleeful.

* * *

Allen tried to slip through the crowded science division unnoticed. And failed. Spectacularly. 

When he'd managed to escape a many-armed hug resembling a rugby scrummage with him as the ball, he backed towards the door. "I'll see you later- I just need to go and give Komui a heart attack first."

Pulling a dazed Jim with him, he shut the door behind him with a sigh. "Thank goodness. Come on, this way." He led the way down a series of corridors, ignoring the surprised looks he was getting from the people he passed.

He didn't bother knocking on Komui's door, knowing the supervisor would be asleep.

"This is Komui, and this mess is his office. You'll get called here to be given mission briefings." He pointed at the snoring Komui. "This is how you'll find him, asleep and avoiding work. There are three words to wake him. Observe." Allen leant close to Komui. "Lenalee's. Getting. Married."

"Nooooooo! Lenalee! Don't leave meeeeeeee!" The supervisor wrapped his arms around the closest person to him, who happened to be Allen. Komui caught sight of the gold and raised his eyes, a worried expression on his face. There weren't many Generals you could capture in a death grip and get away with it. He brightened when he saw who it was he held. "Allen!"

"Hello Komui. I'm home!"

"I can see that. And not alone? Is this your new koi? Traded Kanda in for a newer model?"

Jim didn't' recognise the term, and seeing the rosy flush on his General's face, decided he wanted to keep it that way.

"He's your newest exorcist. James Harvey this is Komui Li, Komui, meet Jim. Parasitic type. Materialisation." Allen summed everything up quickly. "Now I know how desperate you are to have a look, and God knows the kids eager enough to show off, so I'll leave you to it. I'll meet you later in the canteen kid, ok?"

"Lavi's in the library, Lenalee's in the kitchens and Kanda's due back from a mission within the hour." Komui told him

"Thanks Komui, you're the best. Oh yeah, Tim has the innocence I've collected if you wanted Hev to take a look at them." He lifted the golem off his head, and the golden orb promptly spewed the three remaining fragments onto Komui's desk before returning to Allen's head.

"I'll see you later."

* * *

"Now then, let's have a look at you." Komui slapped on his hard hat and approached Jim with a wicked gleam in his eye. 

The boy was starting to wonder what he let himself in for.

* * *

A gloved hand covered Lavi's eye. "Guess who?" 

Lavi gasped, "Allen! I didn't know you were coming back!"

Allen moved his hand and let Lavi hug him. "It was a surprise."

"Heh, surprise." Lavi looked a little tearful. "Look at you! You've really changed. I think you're as tall as Yuu-chan. He's back today, did you know?"

"Yeah, Komui said."

"You've really let your hair grow…" Lavi studied him critically. "And I think you even have a tan."

Allen laughed. "I've been living in almost non-stop sunshine."

"You're too thin though, I bet you haven't been eating properly have you?"

Allen laughed again. It felt good to be back among family. "I am rather hungry as it happens, and I have to meet my um, thing, yeah…down in the canteen when Komui's done with him."

"Your what now?"

Allen turned red and mumbled incoherently, making a couple of random sounds before fading out completely.

Lavi was looking at him strangely. _Maybe he has heat stroke…_

"My…pupil." Allen only said it very, very quietly, but Lavi was ready and caught the word. His eye widened.

"Don't laugh Lavi. I can't get rid of him- he's a midget, but he eats loads…"

Lavi thought this was a strange thing for Allen of all people to complain about, and the next sentence confused him even more.

"...and he cheats at poker."

Lavi gaped. "He's short, a glutton and a poker cheat? So he's you?"

Allen frowned. "I never thought of it that way. No wonder Cross was horrible to me if that's what I was like!"

Lavi laughed. "Let's go and say hi to Lenalee. I bet Komui will be done soon."

Allen nodded, allowing Lavi to link arms with him and march him down to the canteen.

* * *

Allen had barely stepped through the doors when something black and fast and mostly hair flattened him. 

"Allen, you're back!" Lenalee flung her arms around his neck, then realised that she had just glomped a General.

"Thanks Lenalee, at least you still treat me normally."

"I forgot who you were!" she looked mortified.

"I'm Allen, remember? Al-len. The only thing that's changed is this horrid uniform."

"Timcampy matches you now."

"No, Tim _clashes_ with me now."

Lavi and Lenalee pulled him to his feet. "Thanks."

They sat down at a table in the corner, away from the bustling crowds.

"So Allen, why are you back?" Lenalee asked him

"I came to drop off my idiot apprentice."

"…"

There was a ringing silence. Then…

"_Please_ tell me I didn't say that!"

Lavi laughed at Allen's look of abject horror. "Sorry Moyashi-chan, but you did."

"Kill me now."

Both Lenalee and Lavi laughed. "Is that him?" she asked, pointing to the door.

Miranda led Jim over to their table. "Here you go, I'll leave you with Alle-Gener-um…bye." With that Miranda ran away.

"She's a bit strange" offered Lavi

"I gathered." Jim looked around. For some reason, Allen was oozing depression onto the table. "Is he ok?"

"Ignore him, he has issues." Lavi held out an inky hand. "I'm Lavi, stunningly handsome exorcists and apprentice bookman. This is Lenalee Li, she's Komui's little sister."

Jim looked at Lenalee and sprung a nosebleed. "Whoa. _Strike_!" Jim began to drool.

Lavi stared at him dumbfounded.

Lenalee peered at the blonde. "You two aren't related are you?"

"If anything, he's a mini-Moyashi- short, always hungry and a card cheat."

Jim wasn't sure if he was being insulted. "Um…what's a moyashi?"

Lavi pointed to Allen, who was still wishing himself to death, currently banging his head on the table.

"That is _the_ Moyashi. Our own little bean sprout."

"Less of the 'little'." Allen mumbled.

"Come on, let's order, I bet you two parasites are starving. And I know Jerry missed you Allen, he always seems to have leftovers nowadays."

Allen finally laughed. "Between the two of us he won't know what hit him!"

* * *

Kanda dropped the report on Komui's desk. As usual the supervisor was asleep. 

Leaving the office, Kanda was at a loss as to what to do with himself. _Eat, sleep, maim Lavi for the hell of it? So many choices_…

"I just saw him in the canteen. Had some new kid with him."

"What, like a student?"

"Apparently. I heard he gave the first one to Cloud. I didn't think he wanted apprentices."

"Yeah, but it was the same with Cross, but _he_ took him in didn't he?"

Kanda stopped dead in his tracks…it couldn't be… "You!" he called out to the two finders who had been talking as they walked the opposite way down the corridor. He had spoken a little sharper than he had meant to and saw the finders flinch. He made himself calm down. "Are you talking about Allen Walker?"

The finder looked surprised. "Yes, Sir Kanda. General Walker is in the canteen now. He…"

Kanda was already sprinting away.

* * *

He pounded into the canteen and froze, his eyes scanning the crowded room. He finally spotted the white head near the back. It had been difficult to see due to the huge teetering pile of dishes loaded on the table. 

Allen was sitting with Lavi, Lenalee and a small boy he didn't know. It appeared some sort of eating competition was underway.

Kanda pause to study the dear face. It had angles to it now, managing to look utterly masculine but beautiful in more ways than he could count. Not even the below-shoulder length hair could create an appearance of femininity.

He looked older, wiser, as if he's been to places and seen things that Kanda could only dream about. The smile however was unchanged. Bright, radiant and unreservedly cute.

Unable to stand there any longer, he strode up the aisle between the tables and stood behind Allen, who had been so busy trying to beat Jim that he hadn't seen Kanda approaching, even though he was facing the door.

He swallowed when he saw Lavi, Lenalee and Jim all staring at something behind him. He tilted his head back to see what everyone was looking at and had only the briefest moments to recognise Kanda's face before it descended on him with a crushing kiss. Allen allowed his eyes to close, reaching his arms up around Kanda's neck. Eventually the need to breathe forced them apart. Kanda rested his forehead on Allen's nose, allowing him to look into the upside down eyes of the person he had been bereft of for so long. Something unspoken passed between them and Kanda smirked.

Lavi wolf-whistled, breaking the tense silence that had formed when Kanda had approached the table. A few people laughed nervously, but neither Kanda or Allen seemed to care.

Allen licked his dry lips, dropping a couple of notes in front of. Jim. "You win."

Kanda pulled Allen to his feet and was slightly shocked to see their eyes were at the same height. He vaguely wondered what other changes the long separation had wrought. Time to find out. He dragged Allen from the room without saying anything.

* * *

Gradually the chatter began again. 

"Where are they going?" Jim asked, confused by the sudden turn of events, but still managing to remember to slide the money into his pocket.

"Well they haven't seen each other in a really long time." Lavi started, wondering whether to save the boys sensibilities.

"And?"

"They've gone to get…reacquainted."

The boy blushed. "Oh. I guess I was hoping that the guy with the sword was just really friendly."

Lavi laughed. "He is, but only with Allen."

Jim's blush deepened. _It looks like I have a lot to learn_.

**

* * *

A/N**

**Poor Jim, he's like Allen and Lavi's lovechild. **

**I'm rather glad people seem to like him. I like him. But he's mine, so that doesn't really say anything.**

**Next chapter…Kanda and Allen get 'reacquainted' lol.**


	19. Vacation

**I'm rather depressed now. Not only have I filled my favourite notebook with my FanFic, I also exhausted my favourite pen in doing so. :(**

**Sorry for the delay…I was distracted by episode 71, so I hope you all understand!**

**As usual, I can only claim ownership of Jim, and now, Seren. 'Who?' you ask? Ahh, well read on and find out!**

* * *

Chapter 19- Vacation 

Kanda didn't let go of his hand until they had reached Allen's room. He yanked him inside and closed the door.

Allen looked around. There was something different…things had moved around and it certainly didn't smell like the room had been closed up for months on end. Then Allen spotted the lotus glowing mutely inside the hourglass on the bedside table.

"I kind of moved in."

Allen turned. "Why?"

"To be close to you."

Allen felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. _Dammit, I haven't cried for months._ "You've gone soft."

Kanda laughed. "No Moyashi, you've just finally toughened up."

"I hadn't realised how much I'd miss you insulting me until I stopped hearing it."

"I should stop. You're too tall to be a bean sprout any more."

"I could kneel." Allen went to his knees in front of Kanda. "Hmm, I like the view down here."

"Oh no you don't. I want to do this properly." Kanda raised him by his shoulders.

"Oh, you're no fun!" Allen pouted, making Kanda smile.

_It's funny how you miss the smallest things the most…_

He noticed the silver eyes watching him, brimming with some emotion that Kanda couldn't quite place.

"I've missed you so much." Allen threw himself into the other man, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

Kanda felt the faint tremmors running through Allen's body and encased him in his own strong arms. "I've missed you too." He whispered the words into the snowy hair.

Allen raised his head from Kanda's shoulder, looking deep into the velvety darkness of those eyes. "Really?"

Kanda head-butted him lightly. "Baka. What makes you think I wouldn't?"

Allen looked down. "I was afraid you'd hate me for running away again."

Shaking his head, Kanda kissed him softly, a gentle press of lips. "I'll admit I was a little annoyed, but I understand why you felt that you had to do it. And I'm sure if I'd have come down to the dock with you, I would have tried to make you stay."

Allen sighed. "Thank you."

"That trick you pulled on Lavi was a good one."

"Heh, you think so?" Allen pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed, divesting himself of the hated coat and untying his boots. Kanda joined him, watching his every move like a man dying of thirst, and Allen was an oasis in the desert.

He lay back, pulling Allen with him. Allen curled against him, his head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad…to…be…home" he mumbled thickly.

"Go to sleep." Kanda instructed firmly. He had already noticed the dark smudges under Allen's eyes. It looked like he hadn't slept properly in weeks.

"But I haven't…seen you in…ages." Allen stifled a yawn, absently fiddling with a stray lock of dark hair.

"I'll be here tomorrow."

Allen smiled sleepily. "You promise?"

"Baka. You'll never be rid of me. It's enough that I can hold you tonight."

"Mmm." Allen moved closer, closing his eyes. He was soon asleep.

"Tch. Typical." Kanda sighed. He was going to need a cold shower.

* * *

General Cloud Nine strode towards the supervisor's office, a young woman in an exorcist uniform close behind her. 

"Keep up!" the General said, not unkindly. "The sooner we give in this report, the sooner we can get some rest."

"Yes General." The girl had a soft musical Welsh accent.

Cloud smiled. She had grown rather fond of the girl that Allen had thrust upon her. She would never admit it, but she had been feeling at a loss since the Noahs had destroyed her team over a year ago. Although she didn't understand why, she was secretly glad that the younger General had asked her to mentor the girl.

* * *

Komui was asleep. Again. 

"Supervisor Li!" Cloud's voice cut through his pleasant dream and jerked him awake.

Reever, who was delivering more papers to the already overflowing desk, looked surprised and a little impressed. _She didn't need to mention Lenalee to get him to wake up…_

"Oh, General Cloud, what a surprise!"

"It shouldn't be, I sent a letter."

Komui looked at the paper mountain on his desk. "Oh."

Cloud looked doubtfully at the thick mission file she was holding, obviously worried about it getting mislaid. Reever noticed and offered to take care of it for her. "I'll make sure he doesn't lose it."

"Thank you." Cloud gratefully handed it over.

"This is a special occasion. We have two Generals here at the same time." Komui commented

Cloud looked back over her shoulder, her hand on the door handle. "Oh?"

"You and Walker ."

The girl beside the General made a small sound.

Cloud made a non-committal noise. "I see."

"The others will be returning shortly, minus Cross I assume. Generals meeting time has come again." Komui turned to look at the General's companion. "It's good to see you again as well, Seren Gazer."

"Thank you, Supervisor Li" the girl bowed her head respectfully.

"Well, go and some rest, I daresay you need it." He was looking at the thickness of the report.

"We plan on it."

* * *

Despite months of waking up before dawn, it was mid-morning before Allen finally opened his eyes. He felt stiff, which told him he'd had a dead sleep, and probably hadn't moved all night. He stretched a couple of times, feeling his back click into place as he did so. 

He slid out of bed, feeling better than he had in a few months, and promptly proceeded to do a couple of hundred one-handed press ups on the back of his chair, which was balanced on only one of its four legs, with his left arm folded behind his back..

He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice Kanda slip into the room, carrying a well-stocked tray of food.

"You seem more awake this morning."

Allen fell to the floor with a resounding crash, the chair ending up on top of him. Kanda raised an eyebrow eloquently.

"You surprised me" Allen explained a little unnecessarily.

"So I see." He placed the tray down. "I brought you breakfast."

Allen smiled, eyeing the food hungrily. "Well I guess I'll forgive you for making me lose count like that then."

"Tch. You'd forgive the Earl of the Millennium if he offered you enough food."

Allen looked slightly hurt. "I'm _not _that much of a glutton!"

"No, but I think that boy of yours is. I just saw him in the canteen. He'd give you a run for your money."

"He does. We always bet to see you can eat the most." Allen smiled widely. "He hasn't realised I never eat as much as I can."

"You don't?" Kanda's tone was surprised.

"Of course not! I'd eat everyone out of house and home if I did!"

Kanda sweat-dropped. "You can eat _more?_"

"I usually just eat enough to make my innocence happy, and only eat more if I know there's going to be a fight, like whenever I'm on a mission. Jim's just not used to having innocence as part of his body and it's draining his energy faster. Especially since he doesn't have full control over it."

"I was wondering why he was surrounded by naked green women."

Allen groaned. "Not again!"

"Lavi seemed to be happy."

"Jim does _not_ need more encouragement!" Allen started towards the door, fully intending on marching down there and giving Lavi a stern warning about corrupting the impressionable boy, but Kanda's next words stopped him in his tracks.

"You'd rather go down there than stay with me?"

Allen looked at him. He was sitting with his head bowed, speaking to the floor. _Was Kanda…upset?_

"I understand…after all it's been a long time, it's only natural you've moved on."

Allen's jaw dropped. _Upset and… jealous?_

"BaKanda, it's not like that!"

Kanda blinked as Allen's legs came into view, and looked up at him. "No?" He voice was harsh; sounding like it usually did when he spoke to anyone else.

"Hey…" Allen started to protest, but received a glare in return. Allen's expression closed and he glowered back.

And slapped Kanda across the face.

"You utter idiot!"

Kanda sat in stunned silence as Allen sat down next to him, and started eating like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

"I'm sorry." Kanda raised his hand to his cheek, still a little dazed at the violent reaction. 

"I'm the one who should be saying that." Allen turned from the (now empty) tray, wincing at the red hand print. He moved Kanda's hand away, replacing it with his own, the pale cool flesh contrasting starkly with the angry welt. Allen was glad he hadn't used his left hand.

"No, I asked for that. It's been so hard here without you, then you turn up with the boy…I was…"

"Shh, it doesn't matter. Just remember, _you_ are my one and only."

Kanda laughed dryly. "Weren't you worried I'd move on while you were away?"

Allen froze. "No, should I have been?"

"As trusting as ever" was all the reply he got.

Allen frowned, same old Kanda, determined to kill the mood. "What's this really about?"

"You didn't try to talk to me, not once."

"I couldn't Kanda, my resolve isn't that good. I'd never have been able to do my job. I wanted to…I really did."

Kanda didn't reply.

Allen sighed. "I'll go, if you want me to…" He stood and began walking away.

"That's not what I want, and you know it." Kanda caught hold of his hand.

"Kanda, I know what I want, but I don't know what you want anymore." Allen's eyes were full of hurt and Kanda knew he had caused it.

"I want you."

"And I want you, but I can't deal with whatever issues you've developed while I was away right now, I'm sorry."

"Forget what I've said, I was…I missed you so much. I didn't know where you were, what you were doing, whether you were alright. I'm just so relieved that you're back, and I let my problems rain all over the fact that you're here, now, with me. For that I am sorry."

"Kanda…"

"Shut up Moyashi." Kanda pulled him back to the bed and Allen found he couldn't resist. Kanda pushed him down with a bruising kiss, too eager to hold back anymore. He ran kisses over the new angles of Allen's jaw bone, a detached part of his brain registering the feeling of Allen's hands undoing the buttons on his shirt. Kanda began to return the favour, flipping the buttons from their holes with expert ease and exposing the younger man's chest.

Kanda sucked in a breath. "What on Earth have you been doing?" He ran his hands over scars that certainly hadn't been there when they had departed all those months before.

"Being a General is hard work, I'll have you know. We don't all heal like you do."

Kanda wanted to laugh at Allen's tone, but he was worried. _Just how rough was Allen's new life treating him to bring him home looking like this?_

"Don't look at me like that, I bet you haven't been being careful either."

This time Kanda did laugh. Allen knew him too well. He continued removing the shirt, that detached part of his brain dimly noticing his own being flung to one side carelessly.

He ran his tongue down the centre of Allen's body, pausing to savour the difference in texture between the scarred and the perfect skin. He noticed the slight colour difference between Allen's face and neck and the rest of his body- despite being in the sun so much; it looked like the long-sleeved shirt had stayed firmly in place, giving him a definite tan-line.

"Are you being slow on purpose, you sadist?"

"Hmm?" Kanda raised his head to see Allen glaring at him.

"Get on with it or I won't be help accountable for my actions."

"Yes, sir." Kanda worked his fingers into the belt.

"Much better."

* * *

Lavi had appointed himself as Jim's guide while Allen was…busy. 

"So….what do you want to do today, Birdy-chan?"

"Please don't call me that Lavi!" Jim begged for the umpteenth time. "My name's Jim. Just because I'm from New Zealand does not automatically make me a bird."

"You're not forceful enough, but if Kanda hasn't managed to stop Lavi calling him Yuu-chan, I doubt there's anything you can do about it." Lenalee put her hand on Jim's shoulder. "It's just something you have to get used to."

Lavi smirked, not mentioning the fact the Kanda had given him permission to call him 'Yuu-chan'. He folded his arms behind his head and whistled tunelessly.

"I guess I'd like to see more of the Order. I don't want to get lost."

Lavi stopped whistling. "Will giving you a tour stop you from getting lost?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

Lenalee laughed at the confused expression on Jim's face. "Allen's been here a long time and he still gets lost."

"He's got a really bad sense of direction." Lavi added.

"I had noticed that…" Jim thought back to the long journey from his homeland to the Asian Branch. "But we aren't the same person you know."

"A tour it is then!" Lavi grabbed Jim around the shoulders. "Off we go!"

* * *

Kanda grinned lazily, turning to face Allen who was still riding the post-coital high. 

"I'm coming home more often if that's the welcome I get" Allen laughed languidly. "But I don't think I can move yet."

"Don't try to; it's easier for me if you stay where you are."

"Kanda, what are you…" Allen was cut off by Kanda's mouth on his.

"Shut up Moyashi…"

* * *

Lavi bumped into the girl first, pulling her down on top of him, and pulling Jim, who he was still holding, down as well. Lenalee topped off the pile, tripping over everyone else. 

"Ouch!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"Lavi, get your butt outta my face!"

"Is everyone ok?"

Lenalee helped the dazed girl to her feet. She looked around her age, with dark, shoulder-length blonde hair that some people would have called brown and flinty grey-blue eyes, which were presently very wide.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking were I was going!" the girl apologised.

"No, it was my fault" Lavi stood and grinned widely, rubbing the back of his neck.. "Oh, I know you; you're Cloud's pupil aren't you?"

The girl nodded. "I'm Seren Gazer, pleased to meet you."

"I'm Lavi. This is Lenalee Li and Jim Harvey."

Seren smiled at them all. "I'm looking for General Walker, have you seen him?" She was surprised when Lavi's grin widened, Lenalee mumbled incoherently and Jim turned scarlet.

"He's busy at the moment, but if you waiting near the canteen, he'll show up eventually." Lenalee pulled herself together enough to answer.

Still looking at them curiously, Seren thanked then before continuing on her way.

"I wonder what she wants Allen for."

"Probably to hurt him for not wanting her. That's the girl he passed on to Cloud. It's a good job she didn't know who you were Birdy-chan, she might have been jealous."

* * *

Kanda left Allen sleeping; pleased he'd managed to exhaust the white-haired man out enough that he'd just passed out. He showered and made his way to Komui's office. There was something he urgently needed to ask the supervisor.

* * *

For once, Komui wasn't asleep, although he blatantly wasn't working either. 

"Kanda, what can I do for you?"

Kanda sat down, wondering how to phrase his question. "I want you to make Allen stay here for a while."

Komui raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

"You know what he's like, he'll try and charge off like normal, but he's completely worn out." Kanda shifted uncomfortably.

"As much as I try, you know I can't make him stay, but I will suggest he takes a break if that would make you feel better." Komui looked at him. "I take it you would like a break from missions."

Kanda didn't reply. He hated being so selfish, after all, there was a war going on, but…

"It so happens there is a General's report coming up, when all (cough responsible) Generals (cough Cross cough) will be assembled to make a report on their findings, so Allen will have to stay for that. I am also postponing all but the highest priority missions until we have a clearer picture as to what the Earl is planning."

Kanda nodded thankfully and looked up to see Komui's face unnaturally grave.

"Make the most of your vacation. From what I've heard so far, it won't last long."

**

* * *

A/N **

**Meh, I'm sorry, a bit of soul searching going on there, but it's all resolved now. Who knew Kanda was such a softie? He'll probably kill me for character distortion… And more emo-ness…eek (dodges Mugen)**

**Seren is Welsh for 'Star' (I'm at uni in Wales). Yes I know- Star Gazer…but with a General called Cloud Nine I thought I could get away with it. And no, she looks nothing like me, honest LOL**

**Sorry for the crappiness of this chapter, but I think I'm coming down with something so my brain isn't working properly. Plus the fact all I've eaten today is junk…crisp sandwiches, crisp sandwiches without the sandwich… and chicken.**

**Anyway, Much Lovage  
Aerika-san**


	20. Seren's Story

**Wow chapter 20 already. It's only a little one with weird crappy filler-y stuff, but learn a little about Seren and stuff while you're here. **

**I'm having a dilemma cos my hand's swollen up, making typing difficult, but I must soldier on!**

**Mwahaha! Plotness! The return of an old 'friend' and some new ones. As usual, I don't own the decent characters, just the crappy OCs, Jim, Seren, Fran, Perdy and Greg!**

* * *

Chapter 20- Seren's story

"But I like my room!" Allen protested loudly

"It's only fitting for a General to have more…luxurious quarters" Komui told him firmly.

"But I like my room!" he insisted.

Lavi shook his head. "What are you complaining about Moyashi? You know the General's rooms have double beds and their own bathrooms?"

Allen stopped objecting and looked between Lavi and Komui. "Really?"

Komui gave an amused nod. "Yup, only the best for our Generals."

"Oh, alright." Allen tried not to sound excited.

"Lavi will show you the way. You better take Kanda along too…he'll want to know where it is."

Allen flushed.

"Come on Moyashi-chan, your new room awaits!"

* * *

"Wow!" Even Lavi was impressed. "Nice!"

Kanda looked around as though he was bored, taking in the lavish surroundings. Allen threw himself onto the bed like a child. "This feels sooo good!"

"Bye Lavi." Kanda pushed the red-head firmly out of the door.

* * *

While Allen contented himself by spreading out over the soft bed, Kanda explored the bathroom, and the huge tub it contained, turning the taps experimentally. "Moyashi."

"What is it?" Allen was at his side in an instant. He spotted the rapidly filling tub and the lecherous smirk on his lover's face. "Do you ever think of anything else?" He gave an exaggerated sigh, but helped Kanda pull his shirt off anyway.

"Not with you around."

"Good answer."

* * *

The Earl sat down, glancing around the table with his usually wide smile fixed firmly in place. "Are all the players in position?"

"Of course, Master Millennium."

"We are all ready."

"Why do they get to have all the fun?" This from the smallest figure at the table.

"Road…" The Earl sounded threatening despite his broad grin.

"She's right, Master Millennium." A Noah with long black hair leant forwards onto the table. "We never get to have fun anymore."

"That's because you want to play with the same toy, and the Master isn't ready to have him so damaged yet." The male voice spoke from the shadows. He had been one of those to speak earlier.

The girl beside him also spoke. "You are both immature. The master cannot trust you."

Francesca looked at the Earl, a mock look of hurt on her grey features. "Is that true, Master Millennium? Don't you trust me anymore?"

"Of course he doesn't!" the girl in shadows snapped. "You nearly killed them all last time, and that certainly wasn't in the plans!"

"Don't pick on nee-san like that, Perdita!" Road threw herself at Francesca. The two had struck up a firm friendship firmly rooted in their mutual fascination with causing pain.

The Earl still didn't speak, but the argument was getting out of hand.

The male voice butted in. He slammed his hands on the table, rattling the crockery violently. "Don't speak to her like that!"

"Gregory, I'm perfectly capable of defending myself against these two." Perdita spoke sharply.

"Enough." The one word made the room fall silent. "Why are all the new Noahs such brats?" The Earl passed his hand over his face. "Very well, off you go, you know what you have to do."

Gregory and Perdita nodded, fading back into darkness.

He turned to Road and Francesca. "As for you two, I have a very special job for you…"

* * *

Allen floated happily in the tub that was easily big enough to accommodate two people, if not more. He had his eyes closed and seemed to be dozing, supported by Kanda's toned chest. Kanda examined the scars closely, running his hands over them all, playing with the uneven texture of the knotted tissue.

"Just how did you get all of these?"

Allen groaned and opened his eyes. "I can't remember every little injury that I've got in battle."

"You have to take care of your body" chided Kanda

"Says you."

"Tch, always have to have the last word."

"Yep."

They were silent for some time. Then Kanda spoke again. "What's it like out there, alone?"

"What do you mean? You go on solo missions all the time."

"But I always know when the job is done. There's always a point when I can say 'my job's finished, I can go home'. With you it's not like that."

Allen sighed. "I'd rather not talk about it."

Kanda pressed his cheek against the top of Allen's head. "Ok."

"Ok? You aren't going to argue?"

"You want an argument?"

"No…"

"Then just shut up."

"Ok." He sighed again, sinking deeper into the water "I wish I didn't have to leave again."

Kanda held him closer. "You've got 'til after the meeting haven't you? And all but the most urgent of missions have been put off until after the report has been made."

"But that won't last forever."

Kanda remembered Komui's words from the day before. "Then we should make the most of now."

* * *

Jim was a little worried. It had been two days since his General was dragged away by a horny, sword-wielding exorcist, and Allen had yet to re-appear. Apparently Lavi had seen him, actually spoken to him, but the red-head wouldn't tell him where Allen was hiding. He was fuming as he stomped down the corridor, and was so preoccupied that he didn't notice Seren until he had walked into her.

"I'm sorry"

"Excuse me"

"Oh, I was introduced to you yesterday! Jim, wasn't it?"

"Yes. You're Seren?"

"I am" she nodded. "Are you alright? You look a little deep in thought there."

"Yes, I was looking for someone, but they've vanished."

"Me too. I wanted to ask General Walker something but I can't find him anywhere!" Seren sounded utterly exasperated.

"I'm looking for Allen too."

The girl looked at him suspiciously. "Why do you want him?"

Jim frowned. "Because he's supposed to be over seeing my training- he is my master after all."

"WHAAAAAAT?" Seren dropped the book she was carrying. "You…you…you're his pupil?!"

"Um…yes?"

"He gave me away and replaced me with _you_?"

Jim remembered a little too late what Lavi had said about jealousy.

"_It's a good job she didn't know who you were Birdy-chan, she might have been jealous."_

Oh Crap.

Jim turned and started running as Seren pulled an axe from somewhere amongst her skirts, activating her equipment type innocence. A blast of wind knocked Jim off his feet.

"Replaced me?! With a little boy!! What have you got that I haven't?!" She let loose another blast from her axe, demolishing a door as Jim ducked out of the way. He manifested a wall in front of the rampaging girl, but it proved ineffectual as she scaled it, madness in her eyes.

_What the hell is wrong with this girl? No wonder Allen wanted rid of her! She's a demon!_

* * *

"Birdy-chan? What's going on?" Lavi stepped through the gathering crowd.

"She's trying to kill me!" Jim panted, as Seren mashed her was through the defences he had imagined into being.

"Isn't that the girl we met yesterday? Cloud's student?" Lavi dodged another blast. "She's really got it in for you Birdy-chan!" he said cheerfully

"It's not funny! I can't keep this up much longer!"

Seren was almost on top of him now. The crowd, including Lavi, drew away, leaving Jim stranded and alone in the middle of the corridor.

"Once you're out of the way, he won't have any choice but to take me back!" She raised her weapon.

_She's actually serious! _Lavi started forwards, but he knew he had left it too late.

A door to their left slammed open, revealing a very pissed off, semi-naked and dripping wet Kanda.

He stood in the doorway in just his trousers and boots, Mugen unsheathed in his right hand. "What the FUCK is going on here?"

Seren turned to him, giving him a look that held pure rage, before her eyes slid past him and onto the person standing behind him.

Allen stepped into the corridor in the same state of dress as Kanda. Water sheeted over his bare shoulders, dripping from his long wet hair. He saw the cause of the commotion that had interrupted a _very _nice bath with Kanda, standing over his small charge.

"Seren."

"Allen, she tried to kill me!" Jim looked close to tears as he scrambled away to Lavi's side, taking advantage of the momentary distraction.

"Not this _again_ Seren?"

The rage started to fade from her eyes and she dropped the raised axe. "You chose him over me."

Kanda looked confused. Who _was she talking about? Just what exactly was going on?_

"Seren, you know I had no choice. I couldn't help you control your innocence. You needed someone with more experience."

"But you chose him!" She pointed with the axe at Jim, who cringed away.

"You are two totally different cases. I can help him, we have the same type of innocence, but I can't help you, Seren. Not in the way you want at least."

Lavi's eye widened. _Seren had tried to seduce Allen? _

"Why? Why didn't you want me?" The girl seemed close to tears

"Because you don't have a dick." Kanda said crudely, before pulling a very shocked Allen close for a forceful kiss.

Seren fainted.

* * *

"Come on, they both need to get up to the medical wing." Lavi took charge, lifting a very shaken and exhausted Jim to his feet. "He's used up too much energy."

Allen shook his head. "He needs food. I'll take him. You take Seren to the hospital. And someone should inform General Cloud what's happened. Tell her it happened again, she'll know what you mean." Allen supported Jim carefully. "How do you feel?"

"Like a mad woman just tried to chop me to bits."

Allen smiled, "come on, lets go and grab some lunch, you'll feel better then."

Jim nodded tiredly, leaning heavily on the larger boy. Kanda followed close behind.

* * *

"Just what was that all about?" he asked once they had sat Jim down in front of a huge pile of food.

Allen watched Jim for a few minutes, not replying, with a concerned look on his face. Finally he spoke. "Seren's innocence is extremely volatile. It reacts to her emotions to such a degree that it takes her over. The innocence is called 'Woodsman's Fury', and takes the form of an axe that converts energy to wind, cutting anything."

Allen passed his hand over his eyes.

"When I found her, I knew it was not something I could help her control, so I took her to a finder base where I planned on reporting to Komui and getting someone better qualified to come and escort her back to the Order. For some reason the lines were down and I couldn't get through. There was only one finder at the base at that time, and I knew I couldn't leave her there alone, in case she went berserk again."

Lavi plopped himself down at their table. "All sorted."

"Thank you."

"So she came onto you?"

Allen flushed deeply. "I don't think I did anything that would encourage her in any way, but she seemed to think there was something between us."

"You're just that attractive" Kanda smirked

Allen's eye twitched. "Anyway, she wouldn't listen to me, and eventually her innocence activated again." Allen suppressed a shudder. "I don't know what would have happened if General Cloud hadn't arrived. But she said she could help Seren get to grips with her innocence, and I knew there was nothing I could do, so I left."

"She's scary." Jim spoke up for the first time. He had stopped shaking but looked deathly white, even with his tanned skin.

"I know." Both Allen and Jim shuddered.

A finder hurried towards them. "General Walker sir, the other generals have arrived. ALL of them. Your presence is requested immediately."

Allen blanched. "A…all of them?"

Kanda laid his hand on his shoulder. "Time to go and meet Cross on equal footing."

Allen gulped, his eyes wide. "This isn't fair!"

**

* * *

A/N I'm sorry, this story seems to be getting crappier and crappier!**

**Mmm…semi-naked, dripping wet Kanda… (drools)**

**But anyway, the General's report is coming next chapter...just what do they think the Earl is up to? Who are these new Noah? What does the Earl want Road and Fran to do? Stay tuned to find out ;)**

**Much Lovage  
Aerika-san**


	21. General's Report

**So here we go, chapter 21. Can't believe I've written so much in such as short period of time. Just think of all the geography essays I could have written instead LOL. Yeah I know it's an odd time to update but I have been awake all night (its 8am here now) and needed something to do. **

**BTW, We're currently March-ish**

**Still not owning. Well apart from the OCs. But who cares about them?**

* * *

Chapter 21- General's report

"I must say it's a rare honour to have you here, General Cross Marian. I didn't think you would turn up." Komui sat down, facing the three men across the table.

"Heh, and miss this opportunity of seeing my idiot apprentice? Where is Allen?"

"Cloud isn't here either" observed Tiedoll

"It's a woman's prerogative to be late" interjected Cross on behalf of the fairer sex

"What's the kids excuse?" growled Sokaro

Cross lifted his boots onto the table, leaning back in his chair. "What's your hurry?"

The door banged open before Sokaro could reply and Cloud stalked in. She seemed furious and was arguing loudly with the person walking beside her.

"It's hardly my fault that the girl's an absolute psycho!" Allen exclaimed

"You have no idea how to treat women. And I have no doubt where _that_ trait was picked up. You should have let her down gently! And you must keep that bodyguard of yours under control."

Allen flushed, wondering how Kanda would react to being called a bodyguard. He then noticed the other people in the room for the first time.

"It appears we're late" remarked Cloud in an off-hand sort of way.

Allen sat nervously in an empty seat, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on the table in front of him.

"Glad you've decided to join us" Sokaro spat angrily at the newcomers.

Cloud turned to him. "Not that you'd understand but there was an issue that needed resolving concerning our students."

"Bah, students. Bunch of losers!" He was referring to his own team, killed by Tyki Mikk nearly two years ago.

"Now we're all here, let's get down to business." Komui steepled his fingers. "General Tiedoll, perhaps you'd like to begin?"

The frizzy haired General adjusted his glasses. "There has been a suspicious lack of action from the Earl as of late. We thought perhaps the whole Ark fiasco had set him back, but it appears that he was merely regrouping his army." He sighed unhappily. "It seems as though the Earl is preparing for battle once again. There have been sightings of two new Noah, in addition to the one encountered by Kanda Yuu and his team." He inclined his head towards Allen. "It is my understanding you also met this Noah. What was she like?"

Allen considered how to answer the question.

_Scary? Unquestionably evil? A sadist who relished in torture and pain?_

"She was like all Noah. Beyond human in her strength and abilities. And her thoughts and her idea of pleasure were not human. She was the Noah of Faith, and had the ability to turn all the insecurities about yourself against you." He had his eyes closed; trying to squash down the memories of that awful night that Francesca had decided to 'play' with him.

The room remained silent. They had all heard what Allen had suffered at the hands of the Noah of Faith.

Komui eventually spoke. "I hear you have actually seen these two new Noah in battle, General Sokaro. What are they like?"

"Yes, I've seen them." The large General shifted in his seat slightly. "They have the appearance of children. A girl and a boy. The battle was interrupted by the Earl however, so I never saw their abilities."

"You came face to face with the Earl? How come you were not injured?" Cloud asked scathingly

"I was given a message to pass on."

Komui blinked. "I've heard nothing of this."

"It's not a message for you; there was no need to tell you. It's for Walker."

Allen looked up. "For me?"

"No you imbecile, the other Walker!" the large General snapped. "The message was _'I can't wait until we meet again. My girls always have such fun playing with you.'_ He told me to tell you to go to the city of Prague on the 18th May and wait for him at the clock tower." Sokaro sneered. "Now why would the Order's enemy want to meet you?"

Allen didn't flinch away from the older man's glare; instead, he turned cold grey eyes on him. "I have no idea. Are you suggesting I am in league with the Millennium Earl?"

"Of course he's not!" Komui gave the large General a disapproving look. "We've been through this situation before, and I'm sure nobody wants Central Administration involved again."

He looked at Allen. "What do you think? It's most definitely a trap."

Allen nodded slowly. "Yes…"

"You're still going." Cross finally spoke and it wasn't a question.

Allen wished his master hadn't spoken at all, then he could have carried on pretending he wasn't there. "I think I have to I we want to know what the Earl is planning."

Komui shook his head. "It's far too dangerous."

"Give him a team." Cross said, still leaning back, feet on the table. He lit a cigarette, blowing smoke into the air lazily.

"I couldn't! I'm not read-"

"Idiot apprentice!" Cross interrupted him.

"The boy's right Marian. If we know where the Earl's going to appear it makes sense to send a large team, lead by someone with leadership experience!"

"And don't you think the Earl will be ready for that?" Cross blew smoke across the table at Sokaro. "Allen will go."

Komui stood. "If that's everything I'll take my leave. I have a lot to do. Pass on my well-wishes to Miss Gazer, General Cloud." He left quickly, shutting the door with a snap.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Walker. It seems your new life is treating you well" Tiedoll looked at him jovially. "Are you taking good care of my boy?"

Kanda laughed nervously. He knew how Kanda felt about being Tiedoll's 'boy.'

"Kanda's fine. How's Chaoji doing?"

"Ah, he's become a fine exorcist. Super strength really comes in handy. Congratulations by the way. I was a little surprised when I heard you had been promoted, but it turned out well didn't it? And we all expected it eventually after Hevlaska's prophesy." He stood, excusing himself. "I really must go, there are several things that I must do before Komui summons us again, as we all know he will."

Sokaro grunted. "He just loves having us all here together under those beady eyes of his." He too stood and walked to the door. "Coming Cloud?"

"Not with you. I must go and se Seren in the hospital wing."

Allen looked guilty. "Maybe I should go and see her too. This is partly my fault."

"Not yet, give her chance to recover a little."

"As you wish." He made to leave.

"What? Don't want to stay and talk with your old master, Allen?"

* * *

Allen flinched and turned. He was alone with Cross. _Great._

"I assumed you had things to do." _Yeah, like going and drinking yourself silly at some whore-house._

"Sit."

"Oh…ok" Allen played with his hands, feeling Cross' gaze upon him. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.

"I wanted to talk about you."

"What about me?"

"I always knew were different. I knew you'd become a critical one day."

_Was that pride in Cross' voice? Nah…_

"Well we know I was only promoted out of desperation."

"Well, the gamble paid off, didn't it? But this message of the Earl's has me worried."

Allen stared. _Cross was actually acting responsibly…_

"His girls have always had so much fun playing with you? Where did you learn such womanising behaviour?"

…_or not. _Allen sweat-dropped

"The answer to that question would be _you,_ master, but it's not that kind of fun."

Cross laughed. "A woman is a woman, what's wrong with enjoying their company?"

Allen thought of Kanda's response to Seren's question earlier and seriously considered repeating it. Instead he said "because their idea of fun involves blood, pain and death."

"That's a shame. I'll be informing Komui that you want to pick your own team. I assume you do?"

"I'd feel better with people I know at my back, but I don't want people forced into danger for my sake. I'd rather it be voluntary."

Cross shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do."

"That's what'll make you a good leader." Cross grinned lazily around the cigarette. "You started making your apprentice pay your debts yet?"

Allen was indignant. "The only debts I ever had came from you! How do you know about Jim?"

"Heh, news travels fast. Talk about the blind leading the blind."

"I didn't ask for any of this."

"IDIOT APPRENTICE!"

Allen fell off his chair in surprise. "What?"

"Get up, the floor's dirty." Cross rubbed his temples. "Now I need a drink. Do you know any good brothels?"

"How can you ask me something like that? Do I look like someone who pays for sex?" He dusted off his behind.

"You need corrupting." Cross grinned wickedly.

Allen knew _that_ couldn't be a good thing. "No…really I don't." He backed away.

"Come on Allen, you're a big boy now- it's time you learned to enjoy the benefits of a night with a good woman or two!"

"I'm quite happy not knowing, thank you!" _Kanda…help!!_

Cross couldn't be dissuaded. If Allen hadn't known better he'd have thought the red-haired General was enjoying himself.

"Really…I'm too busy!" Allen futilely tried to extricate himself from Cross' grip. He spotted Lavi as he was dragged past the library. "Help Lavi, he's trying to corrupt me!" he wailed.

"You're already corrupt! You don't need my help!" Lavi waved cheerfully as Allen was dragged away.

"Stop your moaning!" Cross laughed. "You're priceless! You think I don't know about you and your woman allergies?"

Allen considered this as Cross telling him he knew about Kanda.

"I can hardly treat you like an apprentice now, can I? I have to get my kicks somehow." Cross examined his glove. "Urgh, filthy. Well I'm off to partake in some debauchery I'll leave you to do whatever it is you do."

He left Allen where he sat stunned on the floor.

"See you around, Idiot General!"

* * *

Lavi slipped out of the library and wandered down the corridor. Allen was still sitting in a heap on the floor.

"I knew he wasn't going to do anything to you!"

"He…he didn't call me idiot apprentice."

"He's stopped calling you an idiot?"

"No, he called me and Idiot General instead. But you can't have everything. Come on, let's find the others, I need to tell you what was said." He knew Lavi would find out eventually, after all Bookman had been present in the meeting, standing in the darkness where he couldn't be spotted, but Allen knew he was there, observing the same as always "There's something I need to ask you all as well."

* * *

They all gathered in his study. Allen wasn't actually sure why he needed a study, especially one so big, but it turned out to be a great meeting place. Kanda, Lavi, Jim and Lenalee were all ranged around the room on various bits of furniture. Allen sat at the desk, feeling both important and self-conscious.

He repeated the General's findings about the newest Noahs and what they suspected the Earl was doing (nobody had been very clear on that part). Then he told them about the Earl's message.

"But you can't go; it's bound to be a trap. It's too dangerous!" Lenalee protested, echoing her brother's earlier sentiments.

"It's already been decided. There's no way around it. The Earl will be prepared if we sent someone else." Allen didn't like saying it, but it was true all the same.

"So what? You plan on going on your own?"

"I'm to take a team with me." He held up his hand to stop the questions. "Who is on the team hasn't been decided, and I don't want anyone forced into a situation they don't want to be in. It's volunteers only." He smiled sadly. "It would make me happier than anything if you all were there, but I don't want you to be in danger. The Earl asked to meet me, and me alone."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter. I will be going." Kanda said it as though it was the most simple thing in the world.

"Me too, if purely from an observational standpoint." Lavi agreed

"And I'm following you everywhere!" declared Jim

"Nii-san won't stop me!"

"No, that's not…I don't want you anywhere near the Earl. It was bad enough last time with the Noah. I don't want to lose any of you. I won't let you volunteer."

Kanda stood rapidly and walked over to Allen. And slapped him hard across his left cheek. The crack split the silence of the study that had formed when Kanda stood.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Allen didn't let himself touch his face.

The others didn't really understand what just happened, but the argument had been decided.

Team Walker was going to Prague.

**

* * *

A/N**

Mwahaha!! Team Walker 

**More guff for you to enjoy. Starting to get more interesting now? Meh, perhaps.**

**Don't worry, there will be more from Cross, he's just too fun not to play with.**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san **


	22. Training, Pt I

**I think over estimated the length of time it would tale to finish this fic. It won't be long now before it's all over. Yeah, sad isn't it (blatantly not).**

**Well strip me naked, wrap me in seaweed and call me sushi, if it isn't more update-ness. Can't you tell I'm like a female Komui avoiding work at all costs.**

**Behold…Allen and Kanda getting frisky in the bedroom department. I am fully aware that smut is few and far between in this fic, so sorry to the smut-fans, but for some reason, when it comes to writing about sex, I come over all prudish. It's very weird…**

**I don't own D Gray Man, but the oh-so-cute and awfully naive Jim (see, mini-Moyashi) and Psycho Seren are mine. **

* * *

Chapter 22- Training, Pt I 

"But Komui nii-san!!"

"No Lenalee."

Lavi and Jim looked away from the uncomfortable scene. Jim noticed that Allen didn't seem bothered by the pathetic sight before him, he was staring straight ahead, his arms folded across his chest.

"Allen, tell him! Tell him that I need to go!"

Allen didn't look at her. "If Komui thinks it's for the best, I can't argue with him, he's your brother."

Tears filled her dark eyes. "You aren't even going to try? I thought we were in this together!

"I'm sorry, Lenalee. You should stay here."

"I hate you!" She started to whisper, but her voice grew in strength and volume as she spoke. "I hate you! Why won't you stand up for me?" she practically screamed

Allen still didn't reply, but he didn't flinch away from her accusatory eyes either. She fled the room, the tears now truly falling down her face.

* * *

"That was cold Allen, why didn't-" Lavi looked confused and angry 

"Thank you." Komui hid his head in his hands. He looked wretched. When he looked back up, his face was full of self-loathing.

Allen gave a small sad smile, the first expression other than a frosty blankness that had slid onto his face since they entered the office. "It's better that she hates me, rather than you."

Lavi looked between them. "You…you both planned this?"

Allen sighed. "There's a good chance that the Faith of Noah will be there. You know how long it took Lenalee to recover last time. It's not worth the risk. Besides, a four-man team is enough; we don't want to be too obvious."

Kanda made a small noise which may have been covering a snort of derision. "And yet you're still taking both of them along." He pointed to Jim and Lavi.

"Hey…"

"Yuu-chan, that's not very nice!"

A small tick appeared above Kanda's eye. He was really starting to regret ever making that deal with Lavi.

"We can't actually stop Lavi from going. His duty as a bookman comes first, and Bookman has ordered him to go to observe the proceedings, preferably as a neutral party."

"He's not going there to fight?"

"Not unless necessary, which it won't be."

"Alright then, what about the vertically challenged apprentice? He still doesn't have much control"

"One, I'm not vertically challenged, a shrimp, a short-arse or anything else you decide to call me, I'm only 13, making me this height because I'm still _growing_! And two, I do have control!"

Allen agreed. "He's improving by the day, and from now on I'll be helping him train. I was hoping you would help too, as he needs experience fighting different people. I'm taking him along because needs to see what the Earl and the Noah are capable of, or he'll never take this war seriously. He won't be fighting either. If all goes well, no one will."

"You'll be travelling by Ark, and be arriving two weeks ahead of the rendezvous time to scope the place out. That gives you a month to prepare yourselves." Komui stopped hating himself long enough to close the briefing, before sinking his head onto the desk dejectedly.

* * *

Kanda slung his arm carelessly around the other man's waist as they left the office. Allen looked exhausted. "It's hard work being nasty. How do you manage all the time?" 

"Talent." Kanda looked at him oddly. "You really have changed. The person who left here all those months ago would never have been able to do that to Lenalee without crying."

"I want to cry, I'm crying all the time inside. But it's better this way, I want to protect as many people as I can."

"Tch. If you're so worried about our safety, why haven't you tried to tell me I'm not going?"

"Would you listen?"

"Of course not. Why would I?"

"See? Why should I waste my breath? Plus…I kind of want you there. Is that selfish of me? That I want you to be with me even though the situation will be dangerous?"

"I don't know if it's selfish or not, but I'm glad you feel like you trust me to be at your back when you meet the Earl."

"More than anyone else."

The stopped in the middle of the corridor, staring into each other's eyes.

"Eww! No public displays of affection, please!" the plaintive voice rang out loudly from behind them. Lavi covered his eye, pretending to be traumatised while all the while peeking through his fingers. He then jumped onto Jim. "Save me Birdy-chan! They're going to molest each other in the corridor! It's corrupting my innocent mind!"

Jim highly doubted that Lavi's mind was anything near innocent. "Come on, let's go down to the training room, you can see if you can hit me with that little mallet of yours."

"Oh, it's on now!" Lavi pulled the hammer out of its holster. "You better start running, Birdy-chan!"

"See you later Allen" Jim waved over his shoulder as he pelted away, Lavi swinging his now considerably larger hammer at his face.

* * *

"That kid's smarter than he looks." Kanda commented when the twosome had disappeared out of sight, although Lavi's mild cursing and Jim's cackling laughter could still be heard. 

Allen laughed. "Of course, I wouldn't train just any old idiot, would I?"

"Well I was going to say 'Like master, like pupil', but if he's not an idiot, that can't be true can it?"

"Hey, was that a shot?"

"Maybe. What are you going to do about it?"

Allen pushed him back against the wall, forcing Kanda's legs apart and pressing himself between them. "I'm sure I could think of some cruel and unusual punishment."

He was interrupted by a small scuffling noise and looked down to see a small white monkey trying to catch hold of Tim who fluttered tauntingly just out of its reach.

Kanda looked down at it. "Isn't that…"

"Lau Jimin, Cloud's innocence." Allen glanced up, hearing approaching footsteps and two decidedly feminine voices.

"Seren" he whispered stepping back from Kanda, looking for all the world like they were having a perfectly normal conversation between two exorcists who happened to bump into each other. He saw Kanda's eyes widen slightly as the owners of the voices came into view behind Allen.

"There he his, Master Cloud! He's playing with that gole…oh" Seren faltered. Allen turned as though he hadn't known they were there.

"Hello General Cloud. Seren."

Cloud nodded curtly. "General Walker. Kanda Yuu. Lau Jimin, come." She looked warningly at her pupil, before continuing down the corridor, the monkey back in its usual place on her shoulder.

* * *

Seren stepped forward. She had her hair pinned back in a style similar to Cloud's, only with all of it clipped back, save for two front bits that didn't quite reach. She brushed one of these away from her face nervously, looking at the floor. Her eyes looked bluer today. All together the effect made her seem less deranged. "I'm sorry for my actions yesterday General Walker sir. I don't know what came over me." 

Kanda rolled his eyes. "Yes you do" he whispered, so only Allen heard him. It made the white-haired man smile

"I understand Seren, but I think it's more important for you to be aware of what you can do. And it's really Jim you need to apologise to, not me."

"I…yes…you're right." She seemed to droop further. "Do you know where I might find him?"

"He's in the training room getting roughed up by Lavi. Perhaps you should spar with him? I'm sure the challenge will do him good."

"Yes sir, maybe I will." She bowed and skirted past them

* * *

"You actually sent her down there?" Kanda was incredulous. "She nearly killed him yesterday!" 

"When she's not completely enraged, she has good control over her innocence. Besides, Lavi's down there, he can handle her fine."

"If you say so…" Kanda sounded doubtful

"Kanda Yuu, are you worried about my student?" Allen feigned amazement

"Tch."

"Hehe."

"Weren't you going to punish me a moment ago?"

"Hmm, I was, wasn't I?"

* * *

Kanda gave a half-scream, half-moan. "Where the hell did you learn that?" 

Allen chuckled darkly. "What, you thought you'd seen all my moves? Not even close."

"Moyashi, this isn't fair!" Kanda whimpered

"No, you're right, it isn't" Allen replied with an air of commenting about the weather. "But you did ask for this, didn't you?"

Kanda bit his lip, determined not to give Allen the satisfaction of hearing him beg.

"Do you want me to let go?" Allen whispered against his ear, sending pleasurably shivers over Kanda's skin, which did not help him in his current situation. It just made it harder to bear.

He bit his lip harder, drawing a small line of blood which trickled into the corner of his mouth and along his face, running over the edge of jaw and gathering on the pillow near his ear.

"Is that a yes?" Allen tightened his grip ever so slightly, widening his lovers eyes and causing him to thrash under him.

"Yes…please…" Kanda hissed, all erly determination deserting him.

Allen, finally satisfied with the response, released his firm grip on Kanda's straining manhood, allowing him the release that he had denied him for so long. Kanda gave an anguished cry, stiffening for a moment before collapsing back onto the soft mattress.

"You unimaginable bastard." Kanda's voice was dry and hoarse, and he spoke very quietly.

Allen sat back, his arms folded behind his head, looking altogether too pleased with himself for his own good. He noticed the slightly predatory look in his lover's eyes and gulped slightly, releasing his arms. "K…Kanda? What are you doing?"

"It's my turn now." He sat up, moving along the bed towards Allen, who had a slightly apprehensive expression on his face. He had hoped Kanda would be too spent to plot any revenge, at least for a little while. He would never admit it, but working Kanda to the point of orgasm only to deny any further action had not been easy for him either, and he really needed a moment to gather his scattered wits. _It doesn't look like that's going to happen… _he thought as he watched Kanda crawl towards him.

"That," the Japanese man growled, "was uncalled for."

"Um…sorry?"

"Heh, good try, but I'm not letting you off that easily."

"You…you're not?" Despite his slight agitation, Allen sounded slightly eager to Kanda's ears.

_Little demon…_

"No." And Kanda pounced.

* * *

"For heaven's sake, Kanda, I won't be able to walk properly for days!" Allen complained. He did look like he was having some trouble walking, and was gripping his lower back, wincing with each step. 

Kanda just laughed. "I've told you before, Moyashi; don't start what you can't finish."

"Well you didn't seem to have any trouble _finishing_! Five times!" Allen snapped as unusually sharp twinge crossed his back. "Bloody hell!" He was extremely annoyed that his little ploy hadn't exhausted Kanda in any way. Or maybe it had and Kanda just had that much stamina. _That_ thought did not need thinking about at that particular moment in time.

Despite himself, Kanda felt a small pang of concern and guilt. They were heading down to the training room to watch Jim train. Allen had wanted to do a couple of rounds with the kid, but it didn't look like that was going to happen today.

* * *

"Hahaha! You missed me again!" A light, taunting female voice sang out through the open door of the training room. Kanda and Allen moved through the small assembled crowd and found themselves standing next to Jim, who had a purple swollen bump the size of a tennis ball on the side of his head, and a small mount of dried blood on his face. 

Lavi and Seren were involved in a crushing battle out in the centre of a heavily damaged training ground.

Allen forgot his aching back and stared. "What happened here?"

Jim looked at him apologetically. "Lavi completely flattened me. He knocked me out after ten minutes."

Allen looked impressed. "You lasted ten minutes?"

"You didn't think I'd last that long?"

"I had high hopes, but let's face it, Lavi's been an exorcist for years, far longer than I have. He knows his innocence and they work well together. You're still getting to know yours."

Jim nodded. "But then why did you ask us to train together?"

"To learn a lesson. Your innocence is powerful, possibly limitless; after all, its only restriction is your imagination. But raw strength, no matter how powerful it is, will always be beaten by experience, and complete trust in your innocence."

Jim nodded. "I understand."

Kanda took Allen's hand in his, placing his other on the tender spot on his lower back, the heat soothing the dull ache. He leant closer. "And you doubted you'd be a good teacher?" he whispered, making Allen smile gratefully.

They both turned their attention back on the still raging battle.

"How long have they been going like this?"

Jim thought carefully. "Well Lavi knocked me out after ten minutes, and when I woke up I was propped up at the side with this bunch of people. They said that I'd been out for about half an hour, and those two had been fighting all that time…and that was nearly two hours ago…so I'd guess we're coming up three hours soon."

"Three…hours?" Allen repeated. He looked at the two opponents carefully.

Both their bodies were covered in injuries…Lavi had lost his headband and his black shirt was ripped and missing a sleeve. Seren's own black sleeveless top was torn in places, revealing a smooth expanse of pale stomach and the hint of a black bra. Her hair had come down from its elegant up-do and her tight white trousers smoked in a few places, streaked with ash, evidence that Lavi was not holding back. They were both panting heavily. Despite the extensive battle wounds, both exorcists had wide grins plastered to their face. They were having the time of their lives.

Allen wondered whether he should intervene…he hadn't asked Seren to go down to the training room to beat herself, and Lavi within an inch of their lives, and he needed the training room for tomorrow. It was going to need extensive repairs as it was.

He took a step forwards, only to find that it _really_ hurt. A lot. _Dammit Kanda… _He threw a very annoyed look at the samurai standing beside him. Kanda just smirked and stepped forward himself, drawing Mugen as he went.

Allen shouted up. "Lavi, Seren. We need the room in one piece tomorrow, so would you _please_ stop it now?"

They didn't even look at him.

A tick appeared above his eye. _Ignore me will you?_

This time he did not hold back. "Lavi, Gazer, you will desist at once!"

The two exorcists looked at him surprised, but their view was obstructed by an blank-faced, sword-wielding exorcist. Said sword was pointed at them.

They blinked a few times, looking around at the damaged room.

_Oops_ was Lavi's first and final thought as he passed out, Seren collapsing on top of him seconds later.

* * *

Allen rubbed his eyes tiredly. _Why me? _He turned to a few of the assembled finders. "Will some of you take these two lunatics to the hospital wing? I need to report this mess to Komui so he can arrange the repairs." A few of the finders hurried to the two exhausted fingers, lifting them between them. "Jim, go with them, make sure they stay in bed until I get up there." 

Jim nodded. "Are you going to see Komui now?"

Allen nodded. "We need the room repaired by tomorrow." For some reason, Jim saw Allen throw a withering look at Kanda, who had just rejoined them, sliding Mugen back into its sheath. "Assuming I make it to Komui's office by tomorrow!"

Allen turned (slowly) and began hobbling away, clutching his back and wishing a painful death on a certain long-haired exorcist.

Kanda was still smirking in a self-satisfied way.

Jim's eyes widened. _Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask, don't ask…_

**

* * *

A/N**

**Ahh, leaving Lenalee behind. This is because she annoys the heck out of me and I can't be bothered to write about her anymore for a while**. **Poor Allen though, she hates him... and he did it on purpose...what a nice guy!**  
**And just to prove Seren isn't all psycho…**

**Argh! My Yullen couple are always so emo! Cheer up guys!! That's it, next fic it's LaviXAllen. Hopefully they'll be more FUN!! Mind you, I'm so bloody emo myself I'll probably end up giving Lavi some deep-seated issues as well! Gah, I'm hopeless.**

**Mwahaha Allen the sexual deviant. I wonder where he did learn that… And… wow… I wish every man was like Kanda…**

**More training and…um…stuff tomorrow. I'll give the room chance to be repaired and Allen chance to recover, but tomorrow…Allen vs Jim, round 1! (ding ding)  
Much Lovage  
Aerika-san**


	23. Training, Pt II

**I have a slight head rush from all the sugar, so I cannot guarantee that this chapter is entirely coherent…**

**I own squat. Apart from the obviously me-owned OCs.**

* * *

Chapter 23- Training, Pt II

Somehow, the training ground was smooth and even once more when Allen passed it on the way to breakfast the next morning, trying hard to ignore the man who followed him like a second shadow.

Kanda seemed to sense that Allen wasn't really mad at him, but had dropped the pleased smirk all the same. After all, Allen still had a slight limp, despite a _very _long soak in the tub.

* * *

After a usually massive breakfast, Allen and his silent shadow visited the hospital wing.

Allen regarded Lavi grimly. "Have fun did you?"

Lavi looked sullen. "I'd feel better if I wasn't trapped in here. My injuries aren't _that _bad."

"I know that, but Komui doesn't. He's looking for someone to set Komurin on after he saw the damage, so I thought it was safer for you here until after I've trashed the place. Then he'll forget about you."

Lavi grinned gratefully. "Thanks for that."

"So, enjoy yourself?"

"I don't think I've had such an intensive training battle. She was scary when she was crazy, but she was something else when she knew what she was doing."

"Maybe I should fight her…" Kanda sounded vaguely interested in the prospect.

"I'd like the room in one piece for now, so can you wait until _after_ I've tested Jim?"

"Oh, it speaks to me." Kanda's smirk was back.

Allen clenched his fists to stop himself from taking a swing at that smug face. "Shut up!"

Lavi looked between the two. "Is everything ok?"

"It's fine!" Allen snapped, stalking stiffly to the door.

"Yuu-chan, what did you _do_?"

* * *

"Right, are you ready?"

Jim nodded nervously. He was Allen had forbidden an audience. Only Kanda stood silently in the corner, leaning against the wall as though bored.

"I'm not going to come at you at full power, but I'm not going to go easy on you either." Allen's voice called Jim back, putting a stop to his wandering thoughts. "We're just going to have a look at your control, what forms you can make your innocence take and the limits of your strength for now."

Allen looked strange with his hair tied back, only a few wisps hanging over his face. Jim could see the curse scar clearly for the first time.

"Activate your innocence" Allen commanded.

Jim nodded again, feeling the power in his head pulse stronger. His chocolaty eyes took on a soft green sheen, the mark on his forehead flaring brightly, raising the fair hair off his face as though caught in a wind. He glanced at Allen and was caught off guard. Allen had invocated his own innocence and Jim hadn't noticed a thing.

He stared, awestruck. He hadn't seen Crown Clown this close before, despite all the time he had spent with Allen.

Everything was different- his hair, free of the pony-tail hung in artful, if untidy, spikes behind him, the cowl covering his shoulders and enveloping his right hand and arm in a white glove. The black left arm ended in long silver talons.

Allen grinned at him. "Are you ready?" he asked again.

"Um…" _No, I'm not…_ Jim didn't have time to form the sentence; Allen had already started to charge towards him.

_

* * *

Think quickly…slow him down… _Without thinking, he made a wall appear in front of him, but it was a clumsy and predictable move- Allen had seen it coming long before Jim had even created the thought. 

The boy blinked, he was staring at Allen's chest.

Allen looked down at him. "You can do better than that."

Jim dropped his gaze. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise. Don't forget, your imagination is limitless. It should only take the time needed to form the thought to attack." Allen walked away.

Jim grit his teeth. _He's right…let's get down to business…_

* * *

Jim panted, looking up at Allen. "You're too strong, I can't beat you."

Allen tutted and pulled the boy to his feet. "Idiot, you're not supposed to be trying to."

Jim blinked stupidly. "I'm not?"

"No." Allen deactivated his innocence, looking slightly disappointed that Jim had missed the entire point of the lesson. "Go and eat something. We'll do this again tomorrow, so rest up." Allen walked out of the room, leaving Jim feeling very confused.

Kanda pushed himself away from the wall. "Baka. He attacked you in exactly the same way, at the same speed, from the same place, but you never noticed. You need to pay attention to your opponent's moves in order to defend against them and launch a counter attack." The samurai followed Allen out of the door.

_Why didn't I notice that?_ Jim felt even more confused than ever.

* * *

"He's improved. Even through such a brief training session" Kanda commented.

Allen nodded thoughtfully. He seemed to have forgiven Kanda now. He was talking to him normally at least. "His attacks are becoming more tangible- less see through and green. If he carries on like this he'll be able to create illusions that look like the real thing." Allen tried not to think of the effect that would have on Jim's naked green women. He rolled onto his back. "But he has no battle experience. No matter how much his control improves, unless he learns how to move in a fight, he'll be overcome easily."

"Obviously."

"Fight me."

Kanda looked at him. "What?"

"Tomorrow, fight me. Show him a real battle. After all, the only serious fight he's watched was Lavi and Seren." Allen's tone suggested he thought that that particular skirmish hardly constituted a real battle.

Kanda tried not to look too excited. He'd wanted to do this for so long, way before he realised his true feelings towards the younger exorcist. "Yes."

Allen snuggled closer, smiling. Tonight they were lovers. Tomorrow, it would be very different.

* * *

Jim stared in shock- they were really going at it.

Neither exorcist had fully released their innocence, but the level they were at was enough to create deep craters in the floor and tear chunks of plaster from the walls.

Lavi was watching with poorly contained excitement, not removing his gaze from the two figures, occasionally offering some explanation to the stunned pupil. The gathered crowd of exorcists, finders and scientists made appreciative noises.

Jim could see what Kanda had been talking about, what Allen had wanted him to understand. The two exorcists read each other's movements, responding accordingly, executing counter-attacks in a brutal, violent dance.

Kanda panted. His arms ached from swinging Mugen for so long. Blood dried on his face, although the cut it had sprung from had long since healed. He was exhausted.

"Ready to give up Moyashi?"

"BaKanda, I don't give up."

Allen could feel himself weakening with each passing moment. They had been at this all morning, and although Kanda's numerous wounds were healing, the same could not be said for his own. Blood ran down the side of his face, forcing his right eye closed, sealing it shut with congealing gore. His breathing came in ragged gasps.

Kanda charged him, and he only just managed to block the blow, moving his left arm to intercept the black blade as it approached him. The movement was painfully slow, but then again, the attack had only been half-hearted. Allen dimly noted the blade was no longer silver- Kanda hadn't got his innocence invoked any more.

Through the haze of fatigue, he heard Kanda speaking quietly in his ear.

"Do you…think he's got…the point yet? I'm not going to…lose, but I can't keep this up forever."

"Let's…call it…a draw" Allen panted, equally quiet. "I refuse to lose…to you, but this is…pointless. I'm…trusting you…to pass out at…the same time…no cheating."

"Tch. I'm not…the cheater…here."

They both sank to their knees, leaning against each other. Mugen clattered to the floor as Allen's arm deactivated.

"Draw" they spoke at the same time, their eyes closing, their bodies sliding past each other as they collapsed face down, side by side on the mangled training ground.

The crowd began cheering as Lavi and Jim rushed forwards, turning the unconscious exorcists over.

"Wow."

* * *

"Completely irresponsible! They could have killed each other!"

Kanda blinked, opening his eyes slowly. _Where am I? _He put his hand to his face, wondering why he ached.

Komui's voice sounded again, ringing with anger. "Why didn't you stop them? You know full well that both of them should not be fighting unnecessarily!"

_What happened? _

He sat up, looking around. Komui was standing at the door, yelling at a shame faced Lavi and Jim.

"What's going on?"

Kanda's voice made the other three jump.

"Sorry Kanda, I didn't mean to disturb you, we'll take this outside." Komui began pushing the other two out through the door.

"Wait. What happened?"

Komui rolled his eyes. "I'll leave the idiot brigade to explain. I have other things to deal with. Like replacing the floor in the training room. AGAIN!"

He slammed the door behind him.

"We were so worried Yuu-chan. You've been unconscious for three days!"

Kanda was concerned that he still didn't recall what was going on. "What happened?" He repeated; stressing the sentence carefully, anger colouring the two words.

"You don't remember? You fought with Allen, as a training exercise. It was a draw, you both passed out at the same time" Lavi explained

"Where is he? What's going on?"

Jim looked over to the next bed. Allen lay on his back, eyes closed, a drip running into his arm. "He hasn't woken up yet."

"It's nothing to worry about!" Lavi saw the concerned look pass over Kanda's face. "After all, if it took you three days to wake up with your healing abilities, it's no wonder Allen hasn't woken up yet."

Kanda leant back. What Lavi said was true. "What was Komui stressing about?"

"Oh he threw a fit because he was worried about you." Lavi looked at him seriously. "He's right though. You both went too far. You know that you shouldn't make your body heal things that it doesn't need to, and Allen shouldn't use his innocence to such a degree unless it's a real battle. You're both shortening your lives." He gave a grin which conflicted his earlier words. "It was an awesome battle though! I should have sold tickets."

* * *

Allen sat up slowly. "Ow, my head."

"Finally! I thought you were going to sleep forever!"

Allen turned to the source of the noise.

"Good morning to you, too."

Kanda sighed. "You realise you've been unconscious for a week?"

"A week?"

"Yes." Kanda stood and pressed his lips against Allen's forehead. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Heh, me too."

"It seems that your charge understood the lesson. He's been training with Lavi, and I must say I'm impressed with the improvement."

"I should get down there." Allen began to get out of the bed when an almighty rumble shook the very windows of the hospital room. "Oops, excuse me. Looks like my body has other ideas."

"There's no rush." Kanda smirked suggestively. "Let's go and silence your inner beast first, then there's a few things that you owe me after making me sit here for days at your bedside waiting for you to finish snoring."

"Snoring? I don't…oh ok." Allen stopped arguing as Kanda wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer. "Just be gentle with me this time!"

**

* * *

A/N**

**Nope, no LaviXSeren pairing planned at all!**

**I've always wanted to see a full on battle between Kanda and Allen. So I thought, why not? Sorry if you didn't like it. And sorry for the pathetic outcome…I couldn't decide who I wanted to win :P  
**

**Utter naffness… they need to leave the Order soon **

**Much Lovage  
****Aerika-san**


	24. Departure and arrival

**Sorry about this chapter…Saturdays are not my best day…I just wanted to sleep all morning, watch the Wales vs. Italy match, eat something, watch the Ireland vs. Scotland match, sleep some more, then wake up to watch the England vs. France game in the evening, and so everything else got pushed to one side. I'm desperate to get onto the actual meeting but random story jumps to the more interesting chapters would not be helpful in the long run. Don't worry- it's next chapter, I promise!**

**(Ps, in case you didn't know, I'm talking about 6 nations rugby, cos I am a rugby freak, so much so even the awesomeness of DGM can't distract me- I mean muscled men in shorts? I'm typing this as I watch the first match, beware nonsense…)**

**I don't own D Gray Man**

* * *

Chapter 24- Departure and Arrival

He was beginning to hate this room

"Is your team prepared, General Walker?" Cloud asked.

Allen refrained himself from drumming his fingers on the table, instead clenching his fist under it. Alright, maybe not the room, just the people in it. "Yes."

"Who have you chosen?"

"No one. It was a voluntary assignment. I won't force people into a situation against their will."

"Compassion is a weakness that a General cannot afford to have." Sokaro snorted derisively.

"We actually had many volunteers, but the team is Kanda Yuu, the bookman apprentice and James Harvey, the newest exorcist." Komui intervened before Allen could open his mouth to reply.

"Hardly an offensive team" Tiedoll commented passively.

Allen spoke again. "No. I hope to avoid a fight at all costs, and I have my own reasons for that choice." His voice was uncharacteristically cold, forestalling any further questions_. Don't they trust me?_

"Personally I think it's a good choice. No matter who is on the team, an attack force of four exorcists would not succeed in open battle with the Earl, even if the Earl was alone, which I highly doubt he will be." Cross dug a finger in his year and yawned widely.

The occupants at the table all turned and looked at him- they had all assumed he was asleep. He hadn't commented on the proceedings until now, at any rate.

Komui agreed with the red-haired General. "We had already decided that it would not be wise to send an attack force in, therefore who is on the team is not important. What is important is whatever message the Earl wants to deliver to Walker."

The room fell silent, and Allen knew they were all wondering the same thing as him. _Just what did the Earl have to say to him specifically?_

"Right, next order of business…"

* * *

"It feels like they're waiting for me to mess up."

"But you're not going to, so stop worrying." Kanda's dark eyes followed Allen as he paced back and forth across the room, unusually agitated. Being stuck in a dark room for hours with four older, more experienced Generals and having to justify ones plans would do that to anyone. Despite many charges that had occurred over the last couple of years, Allen was still Allen; deep down he was still unsure of himself.

"Wearing yourself out before tomorrow won't help anyone. Relax."

"I…can't" Allen sounded utterly defeated.

Kanda was forcefully reminded of the time so long ago when he and Allen had been meditating in the forest outside the order, remembering when Allen had almost induced a panic attack through sheer frustration at his inability to relax. Kanda did the only thing he could think of, it had worked last time after all.

Standing up, he caught Allen as he paced past on his steady wearing down of the carpet. Clamping his hands over Allen's shoulders tightly to prevent him escaping, he forced him to sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Kanda, what...?"

"Shut up Moyashi." Kanda began rubbing the tense muscle firmly, and as predicted, Allen fell asleep.

"Tch, it's like an off-switch." He lay his sleeping lover down gently, relived to see the peaceful expression on Allen's face. It always made Kanda smile watching Allen sleep, when all the tensions usually present on his conscious face faded away and the naïve young boy Kanda had first met shone through. He would never admit it to Allen of course, but he couldn't help thinking that too much pressure had been laid on the younger man too soon.

He too lay down and felt Allen move closer, seeking comfort even in his sleep. Kanda closed his eyes and let the darkness claim him. How knew what they next few weeks would bring?

* * *

The boy blended into the gloom, his grey skin merging into the growing darkness, though his amber eyes glowed with unconcealed malice.

"Is it ready?"

"Yes Lord Gregory." The Akuma bowed low.

Gregory turned away, effectively dismissing the Akuma. He despised the machines, wondering how the Earl could stand being surrounded with them. They smelt of death and decay, even in their human forms, like those who stood behind him now.

"Lady Perdita is here to see you" one of the Akuma announced as the sharp sound of boot heels carried up the stairs.

"I am aware of that."

The girl stepped out of the darkness, pale skin fading to grey, her brown hair deepening to black. She pushed it back impatiently, revealing the line of crosses above her deep honey-yellow eyes. "Let's hope Francesca can control herself this time. The Earl was not pleased by the events of their last meeting." Her voice was like an icy wind.

"Nor should he have been. If she had killed him…all future plans would have been futile." The boy loosened his tie, revealing a faint razor thin scar across his throat. "The scars are forming perfectly."

"It is imperative that the injuries do not create suspicion, it would not do for the Earl's plans to be uncovered too early."

"Once we have them lulled into a false sense of security, the real fun can begin." The male Noah looked deliriously happy at the prospect. "I can't wait."

The girl tutted. "Don't over play your part."

"But Perdy, darling, I live for the drama!"

* * *

Komui was the only one present to see them off. The scientists were all scurrying around madly, no stopping for anything. No one else seemed to care that four exorcists were about to leave to have an audience with the Earl of the Millennium. Not even Lenalee had come to bid them farewell, though perhaps in the circumstances this was to be expected.

Lavi twirled his hammer, looking completely at ease. Kanda was likewise displaying a calm exterior. Their composure was making Jim more nervous, if that was possible. He contented himself with examining his new coat. He had been excited when he had received his exorcist uniform, but was slightly disappointed that this latest model was plain black and unadorned save for the small silver rose cross on the chest. Lavi and Kanda were wearing similar uniforms, the only difference being the varying lengths of the coats.

Komui had noticed the slightly puzzled look on the new exorcists face. "Don't worry, these coats are only for this mission, you'll have a regular one once you return."

Allen straightened the lapels of his own new, completely black knee length coat. "It's better if we don't stand out too much."

Jim wondered how a tall red-head, a sour looking Japanese man and a guy with white hair and a freaking scar down his face were going to stay unnoticed, but thought it was hardly his place to point that out. He tugged at his knee high boots self consciously, missing his own stout brown walking boots.

"Are you ready?" Komui asked. He looked nervous.

Allen nodded tensely. "We'll keep in touch. Let you know if we find anything."

"Enjoy Prague. Try to sight-see, it's a beautiful city."

"We're hardly there to be tourists, Komui!"

Lavi disagreed. "Komui's right, let's enjoy ourselves while we can."

* * *

Allen stepped through the portal first, followed by Jim and Lavi. Kanda brought up the rear. They opened their eyes to find themselves wandering the white streets of the ark while searching for the door they needed.

"Here it is." Lavi pointed to a knotted wooded door, pushing it open and sticking his head around it. "It's an empty room."

Allen nodded. "Let's go."

The only other door in the room opened out onto a quiet street away from the hubbub of the city. Allen glanced around nervously. "I guess we should find somewhere to stay."

Once they had settled into their two very nice rooms in an undisturbed backstreet, Allen began wondering what he should be doing next. He stood at the window without really paying attention to what he was looking at. Kanda's reflection appeared in the window.

"Komui was right."

"Huh?"

"It really is a beautiful city." He gestured through the window

"I hadn't noticed. What are we going to do for two weeks in this place?"

"I can think of a few things."

Allen rolled his eyes. "You're doing that on purpose."

Kanda raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"Cheering me up. I can never stay depressed around you"

"Damn, you saw through my cunning plan…"

* * *

"Did you know that Prague is known as the 'City of a Hundred Spires'?" Lavi folded his arms behind his head casually strolling down the cobbled street.

"No." Jim sounded tired.

"It's also known as the 'Mother of Cities' and the 'Golden City"

"Oh."

Lavi continued spouting random facts, as though keen on showing just how much knowledge he had accumulated through his extensive reading.

Jim just wanted lunch.

They started to cross a long bridge that was teeming with vendors, all fighting to attract their attention. The two exorcists examined the goods on offer, Jim purchasing something the smiling vendor had called 'klobasy', that was grilled sausages with mustard served with some sort of dark bread. After demolishing this rapidly and finding it to his liking, Jim bought another further along, chasing it down with a 'smazeny syr', which was something like fried cheesy bread.

His hunger satisfied, Jim found he could listen to Lavi without wanting to hurt him, and followed the older boy allowing Lavi's only vaguely useful random facts wash over him.

* * *

"Ah, here we are." Lavi stopped at the edge of a crowded square.

Jim looked around. "Where are we?"

"This is the Old Town Square. I think this is where we are supposed to meet the Earl."

"What make you say that?"

"The message said at the clock tower, right? Well this is the most famous clock tower in Prague." He pointed up at a towering building. "That's the astronomical clock."

Jim stared up at the massive structure. "Wow, it's pretty."

"It shows the Earl's twisted sense of humour. One of the features of this clock is called 'the walk of the apostles'" Lavi looked around. "Look, we can get a better view from up there." He pointed to the tower of the Old Town Hall. "Let's go and have a look!"

* * *

"We think we've found the place!" Lavi slid into the seat at the table, a worn out Jim plopping down next to him.

"He's dragged me all over the place. I think I must have seen the entire city!"

Allen grinned widely. "Well now you're back, let's order!"

A waiter approached their table, smiling happily. "Mate vybra no?" _Are you ready to order?_

Allen rubbed his hands together gleefully. "This is going be great! Everything's so rich though, so try not to over do it!" This last was directed at Jim. "Dam si…" _I'll have… _He began to rattle off a long list of dishes, not pausing to glance at the menu once.

Lavi stared at Allen, his mouth hanging wide open.

"…and…hmm…kynute ovocne knedliky...boruvkove."

The waiter looked a little stunned, flicking back through the pad he was holding. He looked around at the others on the table. He either wanted confirmation that this was one person's order, or he was hoping it was all a horrible joke. It wasn't. The other occupants at the table told him what they wanted, and he ran back to the kitchen, looking utterly bewildered.

"Poor man" Lavi commented sympathetically.

"I'm hungry" Allen pouted unnecessarily.

The food arrived a surprisingly short time later, carried by several waiters. Once the last dish was set down the first waiter mumbled "Dobrou chut" under his breath before practically running away.

"What did he just say?"

"Hope it tastes nice. The Czechs say it before a meal." Allen said between mouthfuls of some sort of beef stew.

"I thought it might have been something rude…he didn't look very happy with us."

"He'll get over it." Kanda prodded his meal dubiously with a fork. "What is this?"

"It's chicken and potatoes, I would have thought that was obvious, Yuu-chan."

"Tch."

Lavi threw a small glass of something down his throat.

"Lavi are you drinking?" Allen asked in surprise

"Of course. It's the national liquor. Want some?"

Allen nearly fell off his chair as he moved away. "You know I don't touch alcohol."

Lavi shrugged, his eyes sliding onto Kanda. "What about you, Yuu-chan? Up for it?"

"Baka, get a hold of yourself."

"Birdy-chan!"

"Don't even go there Lavi, he's only 13 for God's sake."

Lavi's face grew rosier throughout the meal, and eventually Jim had to take him back to their room.

* * *

"They've arrived. Just as we thought, they came early." The Noah has his head down, rooting around in something at his feet.

"This doesn't change anything. Let them have their fun trying to second guess us." Perdita crossed her ankles elegantly, smoothing down her long skirt.

Gregory was rifling through a trunk of clothes. "There's just nothing suitable in here!"

"You're such a drama queen. Just use the ones he's got!"

"But, they'll be nasty! And covered in his germs!" He sat down beside the other Noah, who turned to look at him critically. "It's horrible! I hate it! Why do you have to be the one? Your beautiful face!" She took his hand in hers. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really. I hope it's convincing enough. I don't want to be stuck like this forever."

"It won't be forever, just long enough for the Earl to get what he wants."

"I better do a good job then." The Noah smiled again, his amber eyes fading to grey.

**

* * *

A/N **

**I think all of the OCs are crazy. I should see someone about that…perhaps it's saying something about the inner me?**

**Kanda-cookies all round if anyone can guess what the Noah's plan is… or what Allen ordered…**

**Ah Lavi, comic relief yet again…poor boy.**

**On a side note, Allen and I share an off-switch. I can never stay awake if someone starts touching my shoulders. It's such a curse…I've never been able to enjoy a massage while I was awake once in my life (sighs with self pity. Woe is me)**

**Also, Prague, The capital of the Czech Republic is indeed known as the City of a Hundred Spires, and is considered one of the most beautiful places in Europe. The Astronomical Clock dates back to the 15****th**** century. It's been a while since I was in the Czech Republic, and can only vaguely remember what the stuff was called, so forgive any mistakes! I've tried to be accurate.**


	25. Countdown

**Mwahahaha, super yummy Kanda cookies go to Eleannor and Nyushie for correctly guessing that Allen finished off his order with blueberry fruit dumplings (also yummy) and an extra special little cookie to Kiracookies…you ish close…but not close enough for a full sized one!! (More evil laughter)I'm feeing slightly guilty cos when I was typing my housemate was cleaning the bathroom, and I didn't move to help her… (carried on eating ice cream) oh well…**

**I do not have ownership over DGM. Pffft. Life is unfair.**

* * *

Chapter 25- Countdown 

10.23pm, 17th May

There were no Akuma. There was no sign of Noah.

Team Walker found them selves half-forgetting what they had come to the city for in the first place and that they were thoroughly enjoying the break in their usually hectic lifestyles.

Of course, Kanda still managed to find things to complain about. The food, which he found to heavy for his tastes and Lavi, who routinely involved himself with the locals and their favourite pastime- downing large amounts of alcohol and singing loudly were both high on his newest list of things he hated.

Currently, Lavi was sitting with a pretty dark haired young girl draped over him, while he apparently regaled her with some interesting story. At any rate, her wide pale eyes were fixed upon him with great interest while he rattled away as though talking was going out of fashion.

Allen and Jim were also reaching the level of annoyance which threatened to earn them a permanent seating on the 'Ultimate List of Things I Hate' list. Kanda watched the pair darkly.

Alone, either one of them would easily be a match for the group of men huddled with their cards in the corner of the bar that the exorcists had taken to haunting of an evening, but the master and pupil had discovered that their potential was limitless if they combined their…talents. The locals never stood a chance.

"You must be cheating! There's no way you could beat us!"

"Don't be a sore loser." Jim swept the winnings together, forming a mini mountain in front of him, a huge grin plastered to his face.

"If you aren't cheating, then he is!" The angered man pointed at Allen, who was currently hiding some cards up his sleeve under the pretence of adjusting his cuff.

"I don't cheat." He sounded outraged at the very suggestion.

The air of violence cranked up a notch. Kanda unconsciously gripped Mugen as he stood, sensing it was going to take a turn for the worst any second now. His instincts were never wrong…

"Pull up your sleeves!" One of the locals demanded.

A panicked look crossed Allen's face. It was not the concealed cards he was worried about revealing, but the angry players interpreted it as such.

The man stretched out his arm, wrapping his hand around Allen's left wrist. "Why are you wearing a glove anyway? A new cheating method?" His hand slackened its grip suddenly and Allen looked up in surprise.

"Release him, or be run through. It's your choice." Kanda glowered at the man, Mugen held steadily at his throat.

"Get away from me, pretty boy. Unless you want that perfect face of yours ruined." Kanda didn't move, but his frown deepened.

"Or perhaps you want it like that? Like it rough do you, pretty boy? Maybe I should be asking_ him_?" He jerked his head towards Allen, directing his next words at him instead. "Does your pretty boy take it like a good girl?"

Allen, released from the grip of the man, moved away hurriedly, placing his hand on Kanda's shoulder. "He's not worth it. Let's go."

Kanda sheathed the sword, turning away as though it was suddenly too much effort.

"That's right, pretty boy, Let him defend your weak feminine behind."

_Alright, enough with the feminine comments_ Kanda tensed, his hand flying towards the hilt again, but found his reaction had been too slow.

Allen pointed a razor-sharp talon at the man who was now lying on the floor, fear on his face. The entire bar was silent now, drinks that had been raised towards open mouths forgotten.

Allen gave a small, chilling smile, leaning very close to the man that he had cornered on the floor beside an upturned table.

"He's more of a man than you are. And if you really want to know, _I _take it like a good girl." He stalked his way to the door.

"We're leaving" Kanda grabbed Lavi's coat as he passed.

"But Yuu-chaaaaan…."

* * *

"I don't know why the Earl is bothering with them. They are all a bunch of idiots!" Perdita ran her hands over her bare arms. "They make my skin crawl. If I have to sit listening to that ridiculous Bookman for another night, Francesca and Road wont be the only ones in the Earl's bad books." Her light brown eyes flashed maliciously before darkening to the amber hue of the Noah clan. 

Gregory laughed, sitting in darkness. He was no longer able to maintain his white form, but he detested his current Noah form intensely, so he hid in the shadows. "I can't wait for tomorrow."

* * *

"You didn't have to defend my honour." 

Allen looked a little embarrassed. "I couldn't help it. He was saying those things about you…"

"You may be surprised that it's not the first time I have been insulted."

Allen frowned. _Was Kanda laughing at him?_

He turned his head, confirming his thoughts. A light amused grin danced across Kanda's face. "Don't laugh at me."

Kanda's grin widened. "I wouldn't dream of it. I was merely remembering the look on that man's face."

Allen flushed. "It just slipped out."

There was a slight pause, the silence lengthening, not awkwardly, but it hung between them all the same.

"That's the first time I've seen you so adamant to hide your arm in a long time. You don't worry too much usually."

"That's not true. I always have it hidden, just not from you."

Kanda thought this over. "Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because you aren't afraid to touch it. Jim's the same."

"Why would anybody be afraid to touch it? It's your arm, it's part of you." As though to prove his point Kanda pulled the glove off, revealing the black skin and the red cross embedded in the back of the hand. He didn't like to admit it, and although it looked a lot better than it had before Allen has reformed his innocence, when the skin had looked red and diseased, it still didn't look normal, by any stretch of the imagination. He ran his lips over the hand.

Allen looked at him gratefully. "Thank you."

Kanda was confused. It was one of the things that he still didn't understand about the younger man, how he could be so outwardly cheerful, yet still be unhappy on the inside. "Why are you thanking me?"

"I…"

Jim burst into the room, a furious expression on his young face. "I cannot stay in that room any longer. He snored badly before, but it's ten times louder when he's drunk! We need to…ah…um, am I interrupting?"

The glare on Kanda's face clearly told him he was, but Allen shook his head. "No, you're not."

Kanda scowled, first at Allen, then at Jim. "Yes, you are. Leave."

Poor Jim looked between Allen and Kanda and took the safer option, turning away. "Oh…ok…"

"Just put a pillow over his face" Kanda told his retreating back.

"What?"

"Lavi. Put a pillow over his face."

"Won't he suffocate?"

"You want to listen to him snoring all night?"

"Good point."

Allen laughed as soon as the door was closed. "You're horrible to Lavi, you know that?"

"Tch. I'm horrible to everybody."

* * *

6.34am, 18th May 

Stupid sunlight. He had hardly slept at all, and now the sun was focussed on refusing to let him drift off. It had been growing in intensity for a while now, determinedly pressing against his eyelids, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, no matter which direction he turned his head, the sunlight was still there. In a last ditch effort, he yanked the pillow from under him and pressed the soothing cold side to his face.

"Do you mind? I was using that."

Allen moved the pillow, finding himself face to face with a not-very-happy looking Kanda, who had just been subjected to a rather rude awakening as his head met the mattress with alarming speed.

Giving Kanda a winning smile, he apologised, handing back the pillow sheepishly.

Kanda however, was not won over by the huge grin, and his usual early morning grouchiness was cranked to an all new level thanks to his unexpected wake up call. He groaned when he saw the time. "Why are you awake?"

"I'm always awake early, and the sun was annoying me."

"Tch. Don't lie to me Moyashi. You've been like this for hours. I know because you kept waking me up."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just couldn't sleep."

"Are you worried about today?"

"Of course! It's a trap, we know it, but we have no choice but to blindly fall into it."

"You could not go."

"And risk not hearing whatever the Earl has to say?"

"But he could have told anyone. Why you?"

Allen gave a dry laugh that verged on hysteria. It was not a good sound. "If you manage to work out what goes through that twisted mind of his, let me know!"

Kanda sat up, propping himself up with his arms either side of Allen's head, looking down at him with serious eyes. "Whatever happens, remember that you're not alone out there. You have team mates, let them help you."

Allen stared at him for almost a whole minute, before bursting out into genuine laughter. Kanda only caught a few of the words that Allen gasped out in between sniggers, things like _practice_ and _preach_ caught his attention, and he gathered that Allen was amused by such advice leaving Kanda's mouth.

"I'm glad you find something funny." Lavi's voice made them both jump; they hadn't even heard the door open. "I woke up with a pillow clamped to my face. I think your student's a bit unstable Allen."

This forced Allen into renewed gales of laughter.

Jim walked in, clearly confused as to what the reason for all the noise was. He tried not to feel awkward when greeted by the sight of a half-naked Kanda leaning over a half naked Allen, but couldn't control the slight blush that crept over his face. Lavi seemed to have no such issues and bounded across the room, with no signs of a hangover at all, plonking himself on the end of the bed.

Kanda sat up, stretching lazily. He was far too used to Lavi's presence to feel uncomfortable about the situation. "キーウィ, close the curtains would you? Moyashi forgot to do it last night and is now complaining because the sun dared to rise this morning."

Lavi was making some funny noises behind his hand, which Jim took to be laughter, and realised Kanda was speaking to him. He pulled the curtains closed, casting the room into semi-darkness. "Do I want to know what you called me?"

"Probably not." It had gone over Allen's head too. "Anyway, I'm hungry. Let's go and eat!"

* * *

9.00am 

Allen twiddled with the spoon until Kanda took it off him. So he contented himself shredding a napkin. Kanda took that off him too. He started tapping his cup. Kanda's eye twitched.

"Must you?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry." Allen put his restless hands on his lap, weaving his fingers together to keep them still.

"Why did he have to say the evening? Today's gonna kill me." Lavi leaned back in his chair. He didn't look like he was that bothered, until you noticed the repeated jiggling of his foot where it crossed over the other. Such a nervous display looked out of place on the usually relaxed body.

Of course Kanda didn't show anything whatsoever, which was his way of dealing with the growing anxiety that was growing within him. Jim was a wreck. He'd already spilt two cups of tea during breakfast and was having trouble drinking his third attempt. The minutes crawled.

* * *

11.13am 

They sat outside a small café watching the people walk by. Allen was half expecting his eye to react at any moment, he wanted s_omething_ to happen. The lack of action was making the waiting game seem ten times worse. Kanda was cleaning Mugen. Again. It was the fifth time that morning, and he was oblivious to the wary looks the act was drawing from the people walking past. Not that he would have cared if he had noticed. Lavi twirled his hammer, watching the passers-by without really seeing any of them, relying on Allen to alert him to any danger. Jim was still a wreck. The barely-disguised tensions of the other three were slowly pushing his own stress levels up. Another minute ticked by, and nothing changed.

* * *

15.59pm 

Jim felt sick. Earlier his stomach had been complaining noisily, but he couldn't make himself eat anything. This worried him because he knew if he didn't eat something, he wouldn't have enough energy to fight, but when he pointed this out to the others, Allen had just smiled and told him he wasn't going to fight anyway. Allen hadn't eaten since breakfast. The hands of the clock shifted, very slightly.

* * *

18.47pm 

The muted glow of the sun made the city look beautiful. Kanda stood with his back to the amazing view as though it bored him, while the others leant as far out of the tall town hall tower, relishing the last of the day's light and admiring the way it made the City of a Hundred Spires glow. Actually he didn't want to be distracted by the way the dying light caught Allen's face. Now was not the time. The sun sank lower, casting an orange glow across the landscape. Kanda was morbidly reminded of a guttering candle, the last vain attempts to remain alight before being snuffed out completely.

* * *

19.04pm 

Allen stood at the foot of the clock, his cursed eye roaming the gathering Akuma. He had known it was too good to be true. They weren't low level Akuma either. Whatever the Earl had planned was not going to be pretty. Kanda raised Mugen. "Do we attack them?"

Allen dissented. "We wait."

Jim watched from his view point in the tower. He had never seen so many Akuma before. Lavi placed his hand on his shoulder, startling him. "It'll be alright."

* * *

19.15pm 

"Allen Walker."

He knew that voice.

"I'm glad you came to our little gathering."

"I could hardly refuse, Earl."

"No, I suppose not." The fat little man's grin widened, if that were possible. "Such a small force you bring with you. Do you think that the four of you can beat me?"

"I didn't come for a battle." Allen watched as the Akuma moved closer, surrounding Kanda. The tower was likewise surrounded, trapping Jim and Lavi inside.

"No, you came to hear what I want to say. But I do want a battle, Allen Walker."

"Why is it you sent for me?" With a twinge of fear, Allen noticed the three Noah standing behind the Earl. He recognised Road and with a sickening twist saw Francesca was there also. He didn't know the third girl.

"Because you are interesting. The power of the musician. The Destroyer of Time, a General at 16, your unique little weapon. Also, because I can't refuse my girls anything. They want to play with your little friends."

"Leave them out of this." Anger made the words cold.

"I suppose I can stop them. If you agree to come with me for a little _chat_."

Allen glanced around.

"Don't go, we can take them" Kanda said through gritted teeth, but he couldn't see the shear number of gathered Akuma, he hadn't seen the lurking Noah.

Allen shook his head. "BaKanda, not even you're that good." He turned to the Earl. "Alright, but nothing happens to them, you hear me?"

The Earl laughed as though genuinely happy. He wiped a tear from behind his bespectacled eye. "You aren't in the position to make bargains, Allen Walker, but I like you, I'll agree. The Akuma will stay here until we return."

Road opened a doorway and the Earl stepped up to it, inviting Allen forwards.

He stepped through the doorway, followed by the Earl and the three female Noahs. The door squealed shut, plunging them into complete darkness.

"What's going on?"

"I told you, we're going to have a little chat." Allen could hear the Earl, but the voice sounded far away. This didn't look good.

"Hello Allen Walker."

This voice was different, male and had had an odd familiar feeling about it. Two greyish eyes lit up in the darkness, surprisingly close.

"Who are you?"

"That doesn't matter. What does matter is you. You're going to tell me everything you know. And you'll do it or those Akuma out there will put a few pretty holes in all your friends…"

Allen cursed himself for falling into the expected trap so easily.

A hand clasped his head and the pressure was unbearable. Then the pain was gone, the voice was silent and he knew no more.

**

* * *

A/N dun- dun- dun!!**

**Behold me in all my wonderful, crappy glory!!! MWAHAHAHA!!**


	26. Something Strange

**Sorry, this took longer because I wanted it all in one (longer) chapter instead of two itty bitty ones. I think it might be the longest so far.**

**I do not own D Gray Man.**

* * *

Chapter 26- Something strange

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit_. The word kept circling Kanda's mind. He had just stood there and let Allen leave, just watched as he walked through Road's dimensional door and disappeared to god knows where. His inability to stop Allen from leaving made him angry at himself, and he needed to vent that anger on the closest thing he could. This just happened to be a large number of Akuma. He ran his fingers down the back of Mugen's black blade, coating the infinitely sharp katana in silver light. He got to work.

Lavi watched the proceedings from his viewpoint, aware of the Akuma that were circling the tower, waiting for him to make his move. Jim looked on in horror as Allen wilfully went through the strange heart shaped doors with a short fat man holding an umbrella and three girls, all of whom looked like they were still in their teens. The smallest one looked about his own age, the oldest around Allen's. The other one was somewhere in between, perhaps about 15. The doors closed and then were gone.

A shout from below drew his attention to Kanda who was fighting the Akuma. He looked pissed. "ARE YOU TWO GOING TO HELP OR JUST STAND THERE ADMIRING THE VIEW?" Very pissed.

"What are you doing Yuu-chan? We can't beat them all!"

Kanda didn't answer, choosing instead to decapitate an Akuma in a spray of black blood.

"Shouldn't we help him?" Jim asked looking towards Lavi.

"Allen's going to be furious; he didn't want to have a fight."

"Allen's not here right now, we need to make a decision" Jim sounded uncharacteristically assertive.

"Alright. You stay here; you can use your innocence as a long range weapon and stay out of the way."

Jim nodded, although he hated the fact that Lavi was protecting him. To prove he wasn't completely ineffectual, he dropped a variety of heavy objects that he imagined into being onto the rather stupid Akuma, who just stood around idiotically wondering why pianos were falling from the sky.

Lavi used his hammer to slide to the ground, ending up back to back with Kanda.

"Just like old times, eh Yuu?"

"Shut up."

The Akuma slaughter continued.

* * *

"Time to give him back to them." Road began creating a dimensional door. 

"Assuming they're still alive." Perdita stood a little way back, her arms folded across her chest.

"Those Akuma are weak and stupid, the Earl didn't want the exorcists to die just yet."

"It's a shame we had to hit him so hard, that's going to leave a nasty mark."

"Are you worried about him Perdy?" Francesca mocked

"Of course not!" the irritable Noah snapped back. "Is the note ready?" She changed the subject quickly.

Francesca waved an envelope. "Here we are!" She slipped the envelope into the black coat of the unconscious man lying at her feet.

Road's door fully materialised and she pushed it open.

* * *

Kanda turned at the sound of the door creaking open, the Akuma forgotten. Luckily the Akuma didn't seem keen on attacking now that the three Noah were standing in the square once more. Giving him a knowing smile, Francesca tossed out the senseless body with surprising strength, watching as it rolled to a stop a few feet away from the battle-worn exorcists. 

"The Earl has finished with him now, you can have him back!" Road grinned cheerfully, stepping back though the door way, followed closely by her companions. "See you later!"

Lavi appeared beside him. "That was definitely odd."

Kanda nodded, kneeling by Allen's side. Apart from a small cut on his brow bone and a rapidly swelling black eye, he looked unhurt.

"I'm new to all this, but that seemed a bit too easy." Jim joined them, having walked down a recently materialised set of steps on the outside of the tower. These vanished as he reached the bottom, his head swivelling as he watched the Akuma beat a hasty retreat. "Shouldn't we go after them?"

Lavi shook his head. "We came here to get the message from the Earl. We don't know what happened in there, we'll have to wait for Allen to wake up and tell us. Until then, we'll get out of here. This mission's over."

* * *

Kanda watched as Allen's eyes opened slowly, and focused in on his face. 

"Kanda?" He sounded unsure.

Kanda let out a sigh of relief, before turning his anger on a very drowsy Allen. "Baka Moyashi, why did you go off like that? You might not have come back at all!"

Allen blinked confusedly, wincing as he closed the swollen eye. "Huh?" He looked unsure as to who Kanda was addressing.

Kanda rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak again, but was elbowed out of the way by Lavi.

"What did the Earl say?"

Allen frowned. "I…can't remember. The door closed, it was dark…there was someone there…then, nothing." He sat up, his hand to his head. As he moved a white envelope dropped from the inside of his coat, the sudden movement dislodging it. "What's this?"

With trembling fingers he broke the seal on the letter, sliding the paper out and unfolding it.

_Dear General Walker,_

_Thank you for our little chat, you were most helpful. I look forward to talking with you again._

Allen looked up to the others, whose faces wore a mixture of surprise and disbelief. "I…didn't tell him anything…I don't think…"

* * *

Although no one doubted Allen's story for an instant, the whole incident was a little…odd. Lavi offered to make the report to Komui. He told the others he'd do it while Allen got his injured head checked out, but actually he really wanted to see both Komui and Bookman's reaction to the whole situation. 

"So, what do you think?"

Komui lowered the note thoughtfully, looking over to the senior bookman. "Well…as much as I believe Allen, I know he'd never do anything against the order, it is a very odd situation indeed. I have a feeling that not everybody is going to believe Allen's story. It's all a little too convenient."

Lavi leapt up, enraged. "Which is exactly why the Earl did this! It must be part of his plan to undermine the Order by creating distrust!"

"Lavi…"

"Where is Walker now?" Bookman asked.

"He's having his head seen to." Lavi paused. "Boy, that came out wrong. He got knocked out and is sporting a rather fetching black eye."

Komui nodded. "Once that's over, can you ask him to come down here? We need to discuss further action."

Lavi nodded, recognising the dismissal. He left the room, but he wasn't going to go away just yet. Closing the door, he pressed his ear to the crack.

"It does seem rather…convenient as you said." Bookman's voice was the first to speak.

Komui was silent for a moment, as though pondering his reply. "Perhaps the Earl has something over him?"

"The boy is an enigma, not even we bookmen know of his past, other than what is common knowledge to the Order. And there are things that have happened that in the recent past that could concern the elders."

"It could be perfectly innocent, of course. We know nothing of the powers of the newest Noah. Lavi told us the girl was there…the boy could also have been around. It is possible that they did something to his memory."

Bookman stood; Lavi heard the noise of his boots on the floor and began to move away from the door in a hurry.

"We need to question Walker about this. And his team individually too, in case they noticed anything strange."

Komui shook his head. "I don't know what good that will do. The boy worships the ground Allen walks on and Kanda…well…"

"I'll work on Lavi." Bookman nodded to Komui and opened the door, leaving the supervisor alone, too troubled even to sleep.

* * *

Allen stared around the room as though he'd never seen it before. Kanda was growing concerned, Allen was acting a little stranger than usual. Of course, he was bound to be a little out of it…he'd lost half an hours worth of memory in that dimension and had a massive thump across the face to boot. But still… 

He was interrupted by an unusually grave Lavi knocking in the door. "Komui wants to see him. Alone."

Kanda nodded. "Come on Moyashi. The supervisor wants to see you."

"Please don't call me that, I don't think it's appropriate. My name is Allen."

Lavi stared in disbelief and Kanda actually gaped.

_Those Noah really did a number on him…_ Lavi looked at Kanda's hurt, uncertain expression. "Don't worry Yuu-chan, we'll get this sorted" he whispered quietly. "Are you coming Allen?" he added.

"Sure." Allen grinned widely, his old radiant smile.

_Did they regress him or something...he's like a kid! _

* * *

Inside Komui's office however, he was back to his newer, calmer self. The chane was scary. "I'm sorry Komui, that's all I can remember. The doors closed. The voice of the Earl faded away…and a new voice spoke. It was a male voice, but all I could see were eyes. Then my head hurt and everything went black. I woke up back in the hotel." 

Allen's words smacked of the truth; it was obvious that he recalled nothing else. But the people above him, well they would take some convincing.

"We'll call in the Generals again. I believe you but there may be some trouble further up the ladder. I think it's imperative we get the Generals onside to help convince everyone else."

Allen nodded. "I understand. Thank you for believing me, I know it can't have been easy for someone in your position."

Komui sighed. "Send Kanda in please."

* * *

"So nothing odd? Nothing out of character?" 

"He was a little nervous, but that's who he his, it was to be expected in this situation." Kanda's voice was blank and even, displaying none of his inner fury. _They think Allen is a traitor? Hadn't they already been through this? Did someone higher up have it in for him? _

"So there was nothing different at all in Allen's character?"

Kanda glared at the supervisor. _How many more times?_ "No."

"Very well. Please send Jim in."

* * *

Jim shook his head. "I know I haven't known Allen as long as you have, but I spent a lot of time with him since we did meet, travelling and training together, and I know that whatever happened behind those doors, Allen is telling the truth. The Order and the people here mean everything to him, he would never betray us!" 

Komui sighed. "I know that all too well, Jim, but I have to explore every avenue. You must understand that to the elders who have no experience fighting the Earl first hand, going out there with a non-combative team looks very suspicious. Allen himself said he didn't want to fight."

"But that's who Allen is! He would never have forgiven himself is someone he was responsible for was hurt if he could have prevented it. He'd have done he whole thing alone if he could!" Jim was close to tears now.

"I know Jim. I know."

* * *

Kanda was dumbstruck, his chopsticks raised halfway to his open mouth. Lavi had stopped eating, his fork dangling unattractively from between his teeth. Jim's own huge collection of meals lay forgotten. Jerry sobbed uncontrollably behind the hatch, and every other person in the dining hall had frozen. The world had stopped turning, and it was caused by one person. 

Allen was slowly making his way through an average sized portion of some Russian slop, savouring each mouthful.

_Slowly…average…savouring…_

Lavi broke the silence first, dropping his fork with a clatter as he opened his mouth. "Hey, Allen, is everything alright?"

Allen looked up, momentarily confused. "Sure, why wouldn't it be?"

"Are you…feeling ok?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't it be?" he repeated

Lavi looked between the stew-like dish in front of Allen to Jim's own tottering pile of poorly positioned plates.

"Oh, I'm just not that hungry, that's all."

This statement was greeted by a resounding crash as several people passed out in shock.

"EHHHH?"

"I don't get it either," Allen quickly interjected, "but since we got back I haven't felt that hungry." He noticed the troubled looks on his companion's faces. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure I'll be back to normal in no time!"

* * *

It was getting worse. Each passing day something would change. Most people didn't notice, but Kanda saw all those small changes, and each one deepened his anxiety. Of course, some of those changes were so big, so gargantuan in their deviation from the norm that nobody could miss them.

Apart from the obviously **not **increasing size of his meals, there were several strange and worrying changes that began to rock the foundations of the Order that everyone knew and loved.

Firstly, Allen never asked people to not call him General when it slipped out by accident. In fact he seemed to relish in it.

Secondly, he wasn't overly concerned by some of the open distrust and hostility shown among some of the people in the building, which Kanda was sure would have normally bothered him. Instead he shrugged it off, even when they were alone and Kanda asked him how he was.

Allen also appeared strangely moody. He snapped at Miranda, telling her to either stop crying or go and do them all a favour and throw herself off the roof. Kanda had once said something similar to her himself, but hearing it from Allen's mouth made it more…sinister. He looked like he actually meant it.

Whether she had thought it was an actual order from a General or she really did feel that wretched, several finders had to pull her away from the very long drop from the roof before she could go through with it.

When Allen had come across Krory crying for some little known reason in one of the side corridors, instead of offering comfort, Allen snappishly told him to grow up and act like a man for once, shocking the gathered finders.

When Lenalee approached him to tell him off for acting so horribly (in her words 'Kanda-ish') he turned on her and told the 'stupid little whore-bitch' to find someone else to 'fuck-over'.

Kanda, who neither liked nor disliked Lenalee (though if pressed, his inclination would have been towards 'dislike'), thought that this was one step to far and told Allen so.

That was when Allen dealt the final blow. Whirling on Kanda, ignoring the fact that the hallway was filled with a collection of exorcists, finders and scientists, he belted out, his face red with fury, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT? WHERE DO **YOU** GET OFF TELLING **ME **WHAT TO DO?" He paused for breath, ignoring the shocked horrified faces of the gathered people, ignoring the fact that the crowd had grown since the start of his rant, his voice echoing through the halls of the order.

* * *

Lavi looked up from the book he was poring over. He knew that voice, though he couldn't hear the words. He didn't need to; the malice was conveyed by the tone alone. Dropping the book with a thud, he began running towards the shouting.

* * *

"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU BEING AROUND ME! WHEREVER I TURN, YOU'RE THERE, THE WORLD'SMOST ANNOYING SHADOW! JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU, I CAN'T STAND YOU, AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME AGAIN!" Allen panted, his face glowing with rage and the effort of the prolonged shouting. 

Kanda, by comparison was pale. Paler than he had ever been on his life. He looked ill, as though he would be physically sick if he attempted to open his mouth. He swallowed a few times before raising his eyes to meet the frenzied grey eyes of his former lover. Eventually he spoke. "I'm sorry I have made you feel this way." He gave a low bow of respect. "I will never overstep my boundaries again, General Walker."

Lavi pounded up in time to hear Kanda's last words. Already the Japanese man was walking away, his head held high, although tears glinted in the corners of his eyes. He ignored the presence of those traitorous drops of water and walked through the crowd into the empty corridor. Lavi chased him. "Yuu-chan, what?" he was cut off by Mugen at his throat.

"The deal's off baka. You better start running."

* * *

Not even a round of maim-the-rabbit could help lift his spirit. He slumped back to his room for the first time in many long months. It was cold, empty, unloved. But that was okay. It was just like him.

* * *

News travels fast within the order. 

Komui was intrigued, wondering what had caused the sudden, dramatic change in Allen's behaviour. However, when he heard about the 'whore-bitch' remark, he called Allen to his office for a severe dressing down. It was then he got a taste of new Allen for himself. Allen's response to said dressing down was to give Komui the finger an saunter away, leaving the supervisor speechless.

* * *

The Generals could not arrive soon enough. Everyone hoped that this new, shocking and very scary version of Allen was as a result of the tension resulting from being suspected as a traitor. 

The Generals and Komui gathered in the meeting hall, silently taking their seats.

Cross was absent from the meeting from the point of view that he had vanished and there was no time to track him down.

Komui began to speak.

* * *

Kanda paced his room. _Something strange…Had there been something strange about Allen after he woke up? _He had been disorientated, as is he didn't recognise his friends, his own nickname… 

Kanda continued ponder this as he cleared a path through the thick layer of dust coating everything in his room.

* * *

"So that is the situation. I would be glad to hear your thoughts on the matter Generals." Komui looked expectantly at the gathered exorcists. 

Allen leaned forwards, his arms hidden beneath the table as he waited for his future to be decided.

* * *

Kanda stopped pacing. _No, it couldn't be…it wasn't possible…why didn't he see it before? Why was he the only one to see it now?_ He grabbed his katana and without pausing to strap it on, he pounded from his room.

* * *

"I have nothing but the highest regard for you, General Walker, but what news that has reached us most recently has not worked well in your favour." Cloud began. "I wish to postpone giving Walker my support until such time that this current reckless behaviour has settled." 

"I agree with Cloud. Nothing you have done since you returned from Prague has shown that you are loyal to the Order's cause." Sokaro slammed his palm on the table.

"I understand the experience must have been difficult for you, but that does not excuse your behaviour." Tiedoll's serious voice changed dramatically, sounding an awful lot like Komui did when on an 'I love my sister' rant. "And how could you treat my poor Kanda-kun like that?"

The other two Generals glared at the sobbing frizzy-haired man.

Komui sighed. "In that case, I have no choice but t-"

He was interrupted by the door slamming open. A man stood silhouetted against the light that suddenly streamed into the room, momentarily blinding the occupants.

Allen's eyes narrowed as he saw the naked innocence sword in the intruder's hands.

"Kanda…"

Kanda strode forwards purposefully. As he moved the piercing light of his invocated blade caught the tears falling freely from his glittering eyes.

The people at the table were too stunned to move. Kanda moved beside Allen, who watched him mildly. "Is there something the matter?"

"How dare you?" The whispered voice held venom. He lifted Allen by the collar, dragging him to his feet. He spoke louder, his arm drawing back, prepared to strike. "How dare you?"

Allen turned his head to the side, looking confused and cute and adorable and utterly innocent.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Kanda bellowed, his arm moving without warning. Blood coated the remaining Generals seated at the table. Komui's pristine white uniform becoming drenched in gore.

Kanda watched the light fade from the grey eyes, feeling only a twinge of regret. With a satisfied noise, he slid his blade from the body and threw it onto the table. "How dare you?" he asked the corpse softly.

**

* * *

A/N**

**O.O what do you think?**

**I'm kinda happy about this chapter, though the line about Kanda and his room made me want to cry. **


	27. Another Dimension

**Back from the brink of death (well nearly) I return to A Twisted World. You miss me? Thank you to everyone who spoke to me wishing me better, it meant a lot knowing people cared! Kanda-cookies all round…though sugar-free one for me…no more hospital experiences for me, thank you very much!**

**This chapter contains sexual assault, violence, torture and lots and lots of angst. In fact, the whole chapter is pretty much Allen torture. I'm feeling nasty today.**

**Don't own D Gray Man by any stretch if the imagination. Apparently I don't own a stretch of the imagination either.**

**Chapter 27 takes place at the same time as chapter 26, after Allen goes through Road's door. **

* * *

Chapter 27- Another Dimension

Allen opened his eyes slowly. He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious for; but he guessed it couldn't have been very long. He was still in one piece at any rate. _For now_. It took him a while to realise that something was wrong with his perspective. He was lying flat on his back staring up into the darkness which definitely wasn't as thick as he remembered. Once his eyes had adjusted, he moved his head, trying to see more of his confines. His head pounded dully, complaining at the sudden movement. The first thing he saw were those eyes, the same eyes that had been the last thing he saw before he passed out. He realised why the voice had sounded so familiar to him. It was his voice, his grey eyes that watched him with interest. He was looking at himself.

The figure that wore his face grinned at him, spreading his hands.

"What do you think?"

Allen wasn't sure he would be able to answer. It was all just too strange to contemplate. "Who are you?"

"I am Allen Walker, General and exorcist of the Black Order."

"No, who are you?" Allen tried to sit up but found his wrists were shackled to the floor.

The other Allen sighed. "You don't seem too impressed with my ability, exorcist."

"You are a Noah?"

"Gregory Anderson, at your service." The Noah Allen bowed low. "I carry the memories of Noah's Pride."

"You are all the same to me, sick twisted individuals that claim humanity but still seek to destroy the very species that you declare yourselves to be a part of."

"Allen, I'm hurt!" Allen's face looked distorted with the Noah's mock pout upon it. "Now then, to business. You see, I have a very special mission to complete, and I need your memories to make sure it all goes well."

"I'm not going to tell you anything, so you can forget it already and let me go."

"But I've gone through all this effort! Do you know that at this moment you are my Noah form? And I had to give up my white form for a while too. Maintaining your appearance is very energy consuming. Just growing all your scars took me more than a week!" The Noah-Allen cocked his head to one side. "Besides, this is Road's dimension. What we say goes here. And we say that for today I have Fran's special little power." Gregory laughed softly. "Remember her?" He laughed more at the faint shiver of revulsion that passed over Allen's face. "I can read your mind now, Walker; I don't need you to speak at all."

Allen watched his doppelganger approach, trying to keep the fear from his eyes as the other male crouched beside him.

"What a waste…leaving you for Road and Fran to play with. I don't think you'll be a fit toy for me by the time I return." Gregory cast a glance around the room thoughtfully. "I don't suppose they'd mind too much if I had a little fun first…after all, everyone else will get their chance once I've gone…" He seemed to almost be talking to himself. He turned to Allen, who was still chained to the floor, helpless, with an evil smirk playing across his borrowed features. "Say, have you ever wondered what you look like when that samurai of yours is giving you a good banging?"

Allen stared into his own face with disbelief. "What?"

Gregory-Allen's grin widened sadistically. "Doesn't everyone want to know what their face looks like when they orgasm?"

Allen, who had truthfully never even given this a thought in his life, just frowned confusedly at the Noah. "What?" he repeated.

Gregory paid him no never mind and began unfastening Allen's shirt buttons. He began almost tearing the shirt off, but stopped himself, talking quietly all the while. "No…no…slowly, slowly. I'll need this…filthy rag for later…" He pushed the shirt off Allen's shoulders, running his hands over the exposed flesh. Allen scowled at him, opening his mouth to voice a loud protest, but the Noah got there first and shoved a rag into it, gagging any sound that attempted make itself known. "Can't have you making too much noise, can we? Although I'd love to hear you scream for me…"

The Noah made light work of the rest of Allen's clothes, putting the trousers and boots neatly to one side. "I'm going to need those later," he confided to Allen conspiratorially. Unable to speak, Allen contented himself by straining against the shackles and glaring at Gregory with an expression Kanda would have been proud of.

Gregory sucked in an appreciative breath. "You know, I've had this body long enough to know just _where_ to touch to make you squirm." He proved his point by running his finger along Allen's side, the touch feather light but it still made Allen writhe, shameful that he should feel any pleasure while a Noah, a Noah who looked like him…who _was_ him, touched him in all the places that he enjoyed the most.

"Geh..hff" he shouted through the gag, trying to move away from the Noah's touch.

"But Allen, you want this!" The Noah chided him gently, all the while running his hands over Allen's body. "See? Your body betrays you."

Allen flushed angrily, furious with his body's arousal. So sue him, he was male, and his body welcomed the touch, but that did not mean he was willing. He began to struggle again.

"Tut tut, don't do that…we wouldn't want an accident to happen, would we?"

Allen froze as the Noah lowered his face over his groin, horrified at the act that his likeness was about to perform. He was glad the gag deadened the noise his throat was unconsciously making, absorbing the sickened, but pleasured moans that kept trying to break free as the Noah worked his mouth over his length.

Grinning with satisfaction, the Noah removed his own clothing. He was going to have to change soon anyway and clothing was superfluous at the moment. Allen watched with growing horror…to be assaulted by the Noah was bad enough, but for it to be done while the Noah wore an identical body to his own…he was going to need some serious therapy after this. He closed his eyes, waiting to feel the intrusion of the Noah inside him, but it didn't come. Instead he felt the Noah straddle his waist and strange, yet familiar hands press against his shoulders. The Noah leant forward, breathing softly into his ear. "Don't you want to know? Don't you want to find out what it is your lover sees?"

Despite himself Allen opened his eyes, in time to catch the wicked glint in the Noah's eyes before Gregory impaled himself on Allen's erection. Allen squeezed his eyes closed, trying to block out the sensation of the Noah moving over him, trying to ignore how his own voice coming from the other man's throat was screaming with pleasure. Tears of humiliation and anger squeezed from his tightly closed eyes as against all his rational thoughts, his body somehow found pleasure in the act and he released into the Noah who still rode him.

A sharp slap across his cheek made him open his eyes in shock. The Noah loomed over him, the first traces of anger showing on his face. "You were supposed to be watching!" Another slap, this one harder than the last. Then Gregory leaned in closer to his ear. "Do you think I was convincing? Will I fool your samurai friend?"

Allen turned his face to glare at the Noah, wishing death upon him in many gruesome forms. He made a low warning growling noise in his throat that, despite the rag shoved in his mouth, still managed to convey the message clearly.

The Noah laughed. "Is there something you wanted to say to me?" He tugged the material free, causing Allen to wince as it was ripped from his dry mouth, taking small flakes of skin from his lips with it.

"He'll know the difference straight away. You won't be able to fool him. Or anybody else at the Order."

Gregory didn't look bothered by this statement. In fact, his grin grew wider, if that were possible. "Oh, I don't think so. I'm a very good actor. And if they do notice anything different, which they won't, I can blame this little kidnapping experience, can't I?"

Allen realised that this excuse was perfect to cover any slip-ups that the Noah might make. _Shit, I'm in deep trouble…_

"I'm glad you realise the gravity of your situation."

Allen frowned. _I didn't say anything out loud._

"No, but I can read everything that goes through that little mind of yours."

Allen tried to make his mind go blank.

"That's not working." The Noah shook his finger as though he was admonishing a naughty child. He stood; reaching for Allen's neatly piled clothes. Allen realised with a swooping feeling of revulsion and shock that the Noah was bleeding, torn from forcing Allen into him. Allen knew from experience that with even the most considerate of lovers like Kanda, even after the preparation it was an uncomfortable and sometimes painful experience at first. To do that to oneself…the Noah was truly masochistic.

Gregory cleaning himself roughly with the gag he still held in his hands before slipping into Allen's clothes. "Ack. General exorcist germs." He laughed at his pathetic pun. "Aww, c'mon Allen, work with me here!"

Allen scowled again. "Fuck off."

Gregory's eyes widened with mock surprise. "I didn't think you'd use language like that! Tut tut, Mr. Walker."

"Let's just say you bring out the worst in me."

"Well, I'm hardly relishing being stuck in this freakish body!" Gregory snapped back, something of the Noah he was flashing behind the grey eyes of the man he was pretending to be.

Allen mumbled "not a freak…" before ineffectually pulling at the chains again.

Gregory knelt beside him and began working at the chains. Allen stopped struggling and turned to him, the frown deepening, a wary, distrustful surprise crossing his face briefly. "What are...?"

"I need your shirt idiot."

Allen tensed, ready to explode into action as soon as the chains came loose, but of course, Gregory knew his thoughts as clearly as if he'd spoken them. The Noah sat back on his heels, regarding him as though he was a mildly interesting specimen in a lab, his head cocked on one side thoughtfully. "I think I'm going to enjoy being you, Allen." He gave him a large, cheerful grin.

The last thing Allen saw was his own sunshine-bright smile before Gregory's fist collided with his head and the darkness claimed him.

* * *

"_Time to give him back to them." _

_A voice? A girl's voice…familiar…terrifying…_

"_Assuming they're still alive."_

_A different girl's voice…I don't know that voice, but it's so cold…_

"_Those Akuma are weak and stupid, the Earl didn't want the exorcists to die just yet."_

"_It's a shame we had to hit him so hard, that's going to leave a nasty mark."_

_The words don't make sense…nothing is making sense! Oh God, what's going on here?!_

"_Are you worried about him Perdy_?"

_Another female…what's going on? I know her too…where am I? What's happening? I don't know the name though…is that the name of the strange girl?_

"_Of course not!"_

_The strange girl's voice again. She sounds angry…did I do something? _

"_Is the note ready?" _

_Note? Now I'm really confused..._

_Some rustling. I guess that's the note. "Here we are!" Looks like I was right… _

_A creaking noise…I don't know what it is… _

_Why can't I open my eyes? Nothing hurts, it's just cold. Very, very cold. My eyes won't open...I can't feel anything, except the cold. There's just the voices…getting further away…_

* * *

"Wake up!" A small hand slapped against his cheek. The pale young man stirred a little, but the eyes didn't open. That really wasn't surprising; a series of grazes and deeper cuts across the fair-skinned forehead had leaked blood down his face, effectively gluing his eyes shut. The hand slapped again, for good measure.

"He's really out of it. Greg must have roughed him up good and proper."

"He's an idiot. I can't believe he got to Allen first." Fran was scowling impressively in the corner, leaning against the wall, a frosty expression on her grey-skinned face.

Road drew back her hand and slapped again, this time leaving an angry red welt across the blood stained cheek. "Awww, it's no fun if he doesn't respond at all!"

The Noah in the corner rolled her eyes. "He's no good to us tonight. Come back tomorrow and play with him then."

Road pouted, looking like the young girl she was pretending to be. "Alright, if you say so."

Fran nodded, a small curt motion. "Let's go then."

Road got up from where she had been crouching next to the figure who knelt awkwardly, his arms above his head, chained to the wall and holding him upright. She patted the unconscious figure on the head, like you would a small child or a pet.

"Good night Allen. Tomorrow the real fun begins."

_

* * *

Allen? That's me…someone is talking to me. I don't like the tone of her voice. I don't like her voice full stop…young, sweet and innocent…and cold. The person speaking is older than the voice…darker…_

_Road? That name seems to fit. Dammit, I wish my head wasn't so fuzzy… I can't think straight…and my eyes still won't open, like they've forgotten how to work._

_Bloody hell! What's happening to me? I'm…so tired…I…want to sleep…I…want…_

* * *

Road began wiping the blood from Allen's eyes gently, carefully removing the congealed liquid that had gathered in the creases and crevasses of the white-haired exorcists face.

"What are you doing that for?" Fran's voice held honest curiosity.

"So he can open his eyes." She tapped Allen's cheek none too gently. "Hey, wake up!"

The effect was instantaneous. Allen's pale eyes flew open, flicking around the room desperately.

Road waved at him, drawing his attention to the figure crouched in front of him. "Road?" Allen tugged uselessly at his chains. _Shit, it wasn't a dream_

"Allen!" The Noah wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. "I'm so glad you're awake!"

He leaned back, trying to look at her. "What's going on? I trusted you! This wasn't supposed to be a trap!"

"Sure it was. You knew it was a trap before you got here." Fran moved into his line of sight, a smug smile on her face.

_Shit, not her again!_

"Did you miss me Allen?" Fran bent down, lowering her face to his level. "I bet you wanted to see me again, didn't you?"

_Yeah, about as much as I want to screw Cross_

She ran her hand over his face, digging her nails into the scabs across his forehead.

_Dammit, I'd choose Cross over you anytime_.

Allen hissed slightly at the sensation of the newly formed scabs parting company with his skin, and attempted to jerk away from the touch. "Get the hell away from me!"

Fran's face darkened instantly, and she slapped him, hard.

"You're ours now. The Earl gave you to us. We built this room just for you. Do you like it?" She bent closer and licked away some of the blood that had began to run from his re-opened wounds.

As she drew closer, he moved suddenly and head butted her, their forehead's meeting with a resounding crack.

"You little bastard!" She backhanded him ruthlessly, blood springing to the corner of his mouth at the contact.

Road laughed mirthlessly. "It's no good you know. Those so called friends of yours took the bait, and are probably taking Gregory straight back to the Order as we speak. We have you trapped here, there's no way to escape. You might as well accept it."

Allen dropped his chin to his bare chest, noticing that the male Noah had slipped his boxers back on at some point. Not that it mattered now. He had walked into the Earl's trap, been replaced with a Noah and been given as prize to two sadistic girls who relished torture and lived for blood.

_Only God knows if I'll get out of this one._

_

* * *

I can't think straight anymore. How many days has it been? Four? Five? More? There is no time in this darkness. My mind won't focus on anything but the pain. They won't let me sleep, and I need to. I need some way to block out the pain, but they won't let me. I hardly know who they are. But one knows everything about me. She whispers my darkest fears into my ears, taunts me with the nightmares that for years I have refused to acknowledge. The other one makes me see them…relive the worst moments of my life again and again and again. What a team they are. _

_I tried to fight back, really I did, but I can't do it anymore. I don't want to give up, I can't beg for my life, I know what happens once you betray your innocence, but it's hard. I don't know how much more I can take of this._

* * *

"He's hardly any fun!" Fran expertly tossed a knife into the air, catching it by the blade and examining it closely. "It only took a week to break him! I thought it was going to be more entertaining than this."

Road sighed. "I know what you mean…but you know we have to kill him at some point." The young girl was lying on her front doing some homework, kicking her legs over her back carelessly.

"But he was so much fun before!" Fran's voice became a whine.

"You're the one who pushed his mind too far!"

"Hmph. I think that was you, actually." Fran ran her tongue along the wickedly sharp edge of her blade before it slid back into her wrist. Her ability was not the impressive slight of hand she once boasted to Allen, but rather the ability to produce the blades from her body in rapid and deadly succession.

Perdita looked up from her book. "Do you think Gregory is ok?"

"Aw, you do care!"

The other Noah scowled. "I'm just concerned that his mission is taking so long."

"You know Greg, he'll be having too much fun messing with the people at the order, but he'll get the job done. All we have to do is keep the real Allen here until the mission's finished." Road lazily flipped a page of her homework

_

* * *

It was a sunny day. Birds were singing, a light breeze lifted the bright green leaves on the trees, the grass stems waved lazily and God, how everything was perfect. I turned to Kanda, who was sitting beside me, dozing. The dappled light that reached through the softly swaying branches cast subtle shadows across his bare chest and it was all I could do to stop myself reaching out and touching him as he lay there in all his beautiful masculine glory. I contented myself with sighing happily instead._

_The noise seemed to disturb him; he opened his eyes and looked around almost warily._

"_It's alright, nothing's happened." I reached out to reassure him. He was never in a good mood when he first woke up, be it first thing in the morning or after a short nap._

_He scowled at me, looking first at my outstretched hand then at my face. I must have looked confused because his scowl turned into a sneer._

"_What the hell do you want?"_

_My hand dropped. "Um…nothing."_

"_Then why the hell are you here?"_

"_You asked me if I wanted to come and watch you train…" my voice trailed off uncertainly. Surely he remembered that? It was only a couple of hours ago._

_He laughed. Not the soft, quiet laugh that I had come to appreciate more as time passed, or the amused chuckle that he sometimes let escape when Lavi or I did something that he found funny. No, this laugh was loud, harsh and mocking. _

"_And why would I do something like that? You don't actually think I like spending time with you away from the bedroom did you? You are distraction, nothing more"_

_This couldn't really be happening could it_

_No, of course not. _

_I scrabbled desperately, trying to get a hold of the fraying edges of my rapidly unravelling sanity. I was still in Road's dimension. These were still her cruel mind-tricks, working away at my insecurities, helped by that bitch I met in Italy. _

_I was NOT going to let them win. I can't._

* * *

Fran tapped her foot impatiently. She hated entering Road's dimension, and for some reason Road was late. She settled with making a few more cuts on the indifferent prisoner's body, opening up old and healing wounds and crossing them with new ones that sprung forth little rivulets of starkly bright blood against the pale and sallow skin. _Maybe we should feed him…_ She shook her head, there was no need to get compassionate now- he could still manage another week without food, she reckoned, as long as they continued to force the water down his unresponsive throat.

She yanked his long hair back, looking into his face. His eyes were half-lidded and blank. There was no life in those grey eyes. Whatever he was thinking about, he was thinking about it trapped firmly in Road's torturous domain.

Fran resumed her foot-tapping again. _Where's Road?_ She was getting annoyed now.

_Well… I could always have little peek… _She licked her lips at that thought. It might have been Road's dimension, but the mind…the mind itself was her speciality.

She rested her cross-marked forehead against Allen's cold clammy pale forehead, still using her hand to wrench the hair back so she could look into his face. _What new nightmares can I give you? What will it take to break you?_

_

* * *

She's here. She's pushing at my mind and I can't hold her back much longer. It sounds defeatist, but I know my limits, and I know I'm going to reach them soon. Very soon if she carries on like this. She knows exactly what will hurt me the most, and she'll use it. Road, well, she likes toying with me too, but she has a whole different M.O. She makes me see injuries that aren't there. I know they aren't there. I know this is a dream, but I can FEEL them, each time those wicked candles touch me, I FEEL them in me, I SEE the blood. But I know it's not real, and that's what keeps me going. Whatever they have done to my body doesn't matter, I can't feel it anyway, so at least I don't have to deal with that pain as well. _

_I sense her excitement. Whatever she's found in her little pillage of my thoughts, which I can't stop no matter how much I try to hold he back, has made her happy. That makes me worry slightly. She never usually seems this happy, even when she's here, with Road, inside my mind and I can see her, she never seems this happy._

_I blink. The familiar room of wrapped gift boxes and broken, discarded toys has gone. What torture is she putting me through now? I just have to tell myself it's not real. Keep a grip on reality. That makes me laugh out loud. As much as try to deny it, I lost my grip on what was real a long time ago. Not that time has any meaning in this place. _

_Oh, surprise, surprise. I'm with Kanda again. She's not very imaginative in her torture, let me tell you_

_Wait. If I'm with Kanda, why am I seeing myself with Kanda? An out of body experience? Was I looking in a mirror?_

_Then it struck me. I WAS looking in a mirror. Or rather, at a reflection of myself, a skin worn by a Noah. And he and Kanda…oh God…_

_I tried to hold back the urge to vomit, but failed miserably. Even in my mind the feeling of bile burning the back of my throat HURT. I hadn't eaten in god knows how long, it was a miracle I had anything to throw up at all. But it was my mind, after all, it's not real….it is not real!_

_They are speaking, as if they are alone without a care in the world. How can my mind DO this to me? Here I am struggling to remain faithful to my innocence and my own BRAIN is tormenting me._

"_Moyashi! I don't know what happened I that room, but since you've comeback, you've been different…"_

"_Different how?"_

_God he sounds so much like me…_

"_Better. You're so much better than you were before…"_

_He DID NOT say that, he WOULDN'T. It's not real, it's not real, it's not real._

_The problem is, I don't know that. It COULD be happening right now. It's too much; my brain can't take anymore of this. Even in my mind I feel the familiar sensation of unconsciousness slipping over me, darkness eating at the corners of my vision. The last thing I see is Kanda and the Noah-me coupled on the bed, twisting in ecstasy. With a scream I'm sure transferred from my thoughts to wherever my tortured body lay, I finally passed out._

**

* * *

A/N**

**HOLY SHIT ON A STICK! That is like the longest chapter in the history of me!! Well, it has been open on my laptop for a week and I kept adding to it, so really it's not surprising. Meh, anyway, I'm sorry that was not an update of the plot moving variety, but I'm kinda on a roll now, so hold your breath, and the next chapter could well be up later. On second thoughts, I probably wouldn't try and hold my breath, just in case.**

**Yes, Greg is a raging homo. Of course, this story being what it is, you already knew that didn't you? Also a little (understatement of the week) sick in the head… Gah! So wrong on so many levels…**

**Anyway, so there you have it. Updates will be a little slower for a while, since apparently going a month with about five days worth of sleep is not good for one's health. Stupid doctors. They also told me my diet was awful and I should try eating more healthily. I told them to try and remember student life. Not all of us are highly paid consultants, and junk is so much cheaper than fruit and veg. And pasta rules all. That and ketchup. I also have a heap of uni stuff to catch up on, so it might be every other day updates for a little while. Sorry!!**

**Much Lovage**

**Aerika-san**

**p.s. like YAY!!!! 100 reviews… ok, the last few were very much appreciated get well soon messages (I love you all!! Everyone was so understanding and nice!!! (cries with happiness) Thankies!) But still…100- Woooooooooo!**


	28. Where's Timcampy?

**Lol everyone thinks I'm really mean! Okay, maybe I have been a little horrible to Allen, but come on; he screams "torture me in cruel and unusual ways". So I do**

**I would hardly be writing a fanfic if I owned the damn thing would I?**

* * *

Chapter 28- Where's Timcampy?

Everyone in the meeting room stared in undisguised horror between Kanda, who had finally dropped his arm to his side, allowing the river of blood to flow over the once-again black steel and puddle on the floor, and the now sprawled corpse of Allen Walker that lay open-eyed and bleeding on the meeting table.

Kanda looked down on the body, scorn written al over his features.

"How dare you?" He asked the corpse softly.

The silence was one of stunned disbelief.

"Kanda-kun, what have you done?" Tiedoll stood slowly, his eyes round as he stared down at the corpse on the table.

"Well, damn. I know you were upset with him…but even I think that might have been a bit excessive." Sokaro leaned away from the table, away from the stream of blood that trickled towards him.

Komui wiped blood from his glasses. _What was happening?_

Lavi burst into the room, skidding to a stop, his hammer raised. Jim was right behind him. "You knew?" the apprentice bookman asked Kanda, his voice calm.

Kanda nodded, wiping the blood from his blade onto the body's coat.

"How?"

"I just did."

"Excuse me," Cloud stood, her voice cold. "What the hell is going on here?"

"This is not Allen Walker."

The Generals turned to look at Kanda, incredulity replacing the revulsion on their faces. "Kanda-kun, what do you mean?"

In answer, the Japanese man gestured to the body still sprawled on the table. The wound began to close as they watched, and the corpse sat up.

"Aww, I was found out after all! I guess I was having a little too much fun!" The voice began in Allen's soft tones, but quickly darkened. The evil voice sounded distinctly odd coming from the still-very much Allen-shaped body.

"Where is he, you bastard? What have you done with him?" Kanda grabbed the Noah by the lapels of the General's coat he wore, forgetting he still held an unsheathed sword in his hands and nearly decapitating the Noah at the same time.

Gregory pushed the irate Japanese exorcist away and wagged an irritating finger at him. "Now now, that won't do at all! After all, if you kill me, how will you find your beloved Allen?"

Kanda reluctantly stepped back, allowing the Generals to draw closer to the Noah. Gregory grinned. He could still complete his mission after all. _Just a bit closer…_

Before the Generals could get any closer, a large, slightly green and glowing hand placed itself between them and the Noah still perched on the table.

Jim took another step forward. "I don't think that you should be that close to him until we know what he's here for."

The Generals looked at Jim in surprise, but Komui nodded stiffly. "The boy makes sense. Until we know why the Earl replaced Allen, we need to be careful."

The Generals backed away, looking warily at each other.

Gregory snorted, not worried by the latest development in the least. They were reckless enough to left a Noah into their stronghold…they were bound to slip up again. He could wait.

* * *

"But how did you know?" Lavi continued to press the question on Kanda as they trudged away from the meeting room.

"I just did, ok?" Kanda didn't have the energy to argue more forcefully. To be honest, up until the moment he was poised to attack, he still hadn't been a hundred percent sure that this hadn't been Allen. He had looked exactly like Allen, even at that point, cute and innocent, and that was what had pushed him over the edge. The Allen of two years ago had been that naïve, and would have looked at him like that, as though Kanda wouldn't run him through, but the new Allen was more jaded. He had seen things in this world that were too terrible to imagine, and no matter what form a threat to his life took, he would not smile happily and greet it with open arms. Allen valued his mission more than that.

Lavi was still watching him. "Yuu-chan?"

Kanda whirled to face him, so downright royally pissed that for once his katana was forgotten, and he swung his fist into Lavi's surprised face. Hand met face with a satisfying thwack, knocking Lavi backwards into Jim, who caught him by the shoulders.

"Geez, what was that for?" Lavi rubbed his jaw, grateful that Kanda hadn't hit him harder.

"Because you used my name, and you wouldn't shut up. The way you ran into the room, it seemed you knew something as well. Should I start asking questions too?"

"It was me who said something, not Lavi" Jim spoke up suddenly. "Ever since we came back, I had this feeling that something was off. There were so many little things. He never minded being called General, he was…rude and obnoxious, and so…not-Allen. I wanted to put it down to whatever went on in that meeting, but something was really bugging me…I only just realised what it was when I met Lavi just before we came to you…"

Kanda looked at him expectantly.

"Where's Timcampy?"

"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him around."

"He didn't come to Prague with us, and I haven't seen him since we got back." Jim gestured wildly, nearly smacking Lavi in the face as he did so.

Lavi nodded, stepping back from Jim's waving arms. "We kinda assumed that Tim had left with Cross, but we found out earlier that he hadn't. That's when we came to find you."

Kanda frowned. "How do you know that Tim didn't leave with Cross?"

"Because Cross never left."

* * *

"Why were you sent here?"

The look the Noah gave Komui could only be described as one of boredom. "Please, you think I'm going to play along with you just because I've been discovered?"

"What was your mission?"

"Rephrasing the question isn't going to make me talk, you know." Gregory blew a stray strand of white hair from in front of his eyes. "Damn stupid grand-dad hair."

Komui's frown flickered slightly as he watched. Dammit, but this Noah just didn't seem bothered about his situation at all. "Why do you still look like him?"

Gregory laughed, a wild, unhealthy sound. "Partly because of the look you just gave me. You people are hilarious. You know I'm not him, but you still flinch when I do something that you don't expect _him_ to." He leaned back as far as the shackles pinning him to the chair would allow. "And partly because I don't feel like showing you my beautiful face."

Komui clenched his fists. "Why are you here?"

"Back to that question already?"

"Where is Allen?"

"I was wondering when that was going to come up."

"If you don't start answering my questions, we can find other ways to persuade you."

Gregory grinned again. "A religious organisation, resorting to torture? Komui, don't make idle threats."

"The threats aren't idle. If necessary the church will do everything to ensure victory in this war."

"And if it were necessary to forget about a certain white-haired General that was taken prisoner by the Earl?"

Komui didn't answer.

"Well, I'll save you the trouble of thinking up some excuse. Forget it. The Earl gave him to Road and Fran as a present. If, and it's a big if, he's still alive, he'll be of no use to you." Gregory's grin shrank a little and he lean forward conspiratorially. "I'd like to watch you tell the samurai that. Only make him leave his sword outside, it takes too much energy to heal a wound like that."

Komui slapped the Noah across the face. "You'll find that the church is not the only one that can resort to unusual means" he hissed, straightening up. "Now, why are you here? I won't ask again."

"I'm sure you won't" Gregory smirked. "But I'm not going to answer anything else."

* * *

"What?" Kanda looked between the other exorcists. "He's still here?"

"Apparently he's been using Maria to hide from everyone while enjoying some free time at the order."

"So how did you find him?"

"Lenalee was the one, apparently he was feeling…frisky as she was passing and jumped out."

"The idiot forgot he was supposed to be in hiding."

Jim and Lavi looked at each other and fought down the urge to laugh.

Kanda shook his head. Honestly, all Generals were idiots. "So he's been wandering around and still didn't notice there was a Noah at headquarters?"

"To be fair, nobody did. You didn't either."

Kanda flushed, an unwanted memory coming to mind. No, he hadn't noticed anything different that he hadn't explained away with whatever had happened in the Earl's meeting. He had enjoyed certain aspects of the new Allen.

Lavi noticed the flustered expression on his best friends face. "Oh my God Yuu, you didn't?"

"Didn't what?" Naïve as ever Jim entered the conversation. One that Kanda did not want to be having.

"I don't know what you're talking about baka" he snapped irritably, answering Lavi's question without meaning to.

Lavi didn't say anything else, though he remained strangely subdued.

"So, you found out that Tim wasn't with Cross. What now?" Kanda pressed back to the matter at hand

"We need to find him. Since Allen is his master, he should be able to track him the same way as he used to for Cross" Lavi explained as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We just need to make that damn Noah tell us where he is."

"My pleasure." Kanda tightened the grip on Mugen. Lavi noticed and laid his hand on his friends arm.

"You can't kill him, Komui still needs to question him about the reason he was sent here."

Kanda scoffed. "Does that really matter? As long as we kill him, he can't complete whatever he was sent here to do."

Lavi hook his head sadly. "We have to play by the rules with this. We might need him later to exchange for Allen." Lavi didn't really believe this. He knew enough of the workings of the top dogs of the Order hat they would be willing to sacrifice an exorcist if it meant getting rid of a Noah. That didn't explain why they were still keeping him alive however. As Kanda said, once he was dead there would be no need to worry about him competing his mission. "Come on, Komui said that the Noah wanted to talk to you."

Kanda looked startled, but nodded anyway, following Lavi and a silent Jim up the stairs.

* * *

Of all the people in the room, Komui's looked the calmest, although even he looked a little revolted.

Lavi's face was a horrible tinge of green that clashed vilely with his bandana and his eye. He stared at the Noah in disbelief. _There was no way…_ He recalled his past experiences with both Noahs. _Two weeks in their…care?_ Not even Allen would be sane when they got him out of there. And they were going to, by God they were going to.

Jim, with a firm, childlike faith in his General did not think that a mere two weeks at the hands of two teenage girls was going to damage him permanently. Sure he'd probably need patching up, but he'd be right as rain in no time. _Wouldn't he?_

Kanda seethed. There was no other word for it. His death glare had cranked up a few notches and was no residing at the immediate incineration, if not full-blown apocalypse level. The Noah kept sending him suggestive glances that were doing nothing to calm his frayed nerves. _How can he sit there, look me in the eye with that face?_

Gregory cocked his head. Sure, his mission wasn't complete, but he wasn't one to let others have all the fun. A bit of time out to enjoy oneself was important. _You know what they say about all work and no play… _He grinned at them. He knew full well where the golem was. As soon as he returned from Prague it was obvious that the only one that knew his true identity was the little golden orb. Strangely perceptive for a machine, besides, if the exorcists went on a little rescue mission, there would be less people here to interfere with his real reason for infiltrating the Order, and it was likely the others would finish off the exorcists as well. A win-win situation. "The golden golem is in a steel box on the rooftops behind a movable brick on the ramparts."

They all looked at him.

"Why are you telling us this?"

"Maybe I want a little fun. If you go now, you might be able to bring what's left of him back. Then we'll see which one of us you'll come running to, my little sword-wielding lover." The Noah ran his tongue across his teeth suggestively looking Kanda up and down as he spoke.

Kanda felt the eyes of everyone in the room settle on him, but he refused to acknowledge the questioning looks. "I have no idea what you are suggesting." He voice shook with anger and some other veiled emotion.

Nobody knew what to say, nobody was taken in by the denial.

"As I said, if you hurry, you might get something of him back." Gregory smirked. "But be quick about it."

* * *

After leaving the Noah in the hands of several finders, Lavi, Jim, Kanda and Komui charged up the stairs, bursting onto the roof. It was so rare for people to come up here it was the perfect place to hide something.

It was Jim who located the metal box hidden behind the stone that the Noah had mentioned. He threw open the lid only to be K.O.ed by a solid golden blur that collided with his face.

"Tim!" Lavi grabbed the golem as it fluttered in circles over their heads, clearly agitated. "It's ok, Tim, we know. We need you to find him for us, ok?" He soothed the golem as it gnashed its teeth furiously. Obviously the time spent in confinement had not greed with the temperamental golem.

* * *

Kanda grasped the golem's tail as it attempted to fly off through the Ark portal. "Hold it. If we lose you, Allen and us are both screwed."

"Good luck. I'm a bit apprehensive to send you three again, but we need this over with, whatever the consequences. With having a Noah here, I can't afford to send a larger team, and as you all know Allen best…"

"They aren't going alone. I'll go with them. I need a bit of action."

Komui glared at Cross. "I can't believe you were just wandering around drinking while all this was going on!"

"Now, now, don't be hasty, Komui! I'm going now." Cross grinned at the gathered exorcists. "Besides, this bunch of losers managed to lose him the first time, you think I'm leaving the Idiot General in their hands again?"

With a dejected sigh, Lavi and Jim followed Kanda up the steps and disappeared through the portal.

Cross turned to Komui. "Better be ready for the worst. That Noah was sent here and it has something to do with the fact that all the Generals were gathered in the same place. I think he's an assassin. I don't expect to be returning with anything but a body at this point."

* * *

Road heard the scream and came dashing into the room. "Fran, what the hell's going on in here?"

"It wasn't me! I don't know what happened! I was just having a little play with his mind and he went psycho on me!"

"What did you make him see that could have caused this?" Road couldn't help but back away. Allen was still screaming, hardly pausing for breath, hunched over himself as much as the chains on his wrists would allow.

"Well, it was Gregory and ... Allen's boyfriend…in bed…together." Despite herself, Fran blushed a little. She had still been in Allen's mind to witness the scene and had rather enjoyed the show.

"Wow. I guess we finally broke him. Must have been quite the visual." Road smiled nefariously

"Hehe." Fran sheepishly winked at the smaller Noah.

"Can we shut him up now? He's giving me a headache." Road gave him a swift kick in the ribs.

Immediately the noise ceased, and the two Noah looked down in surprise. A pair of greyish blue eyes glared back up at them, filled with rage.

"Um…Road?" Fran took a couple of steps back. "That's not supposed to happen, is it?"

"He…he…pulled himself out of my dimension!" Road was incensed. "It's impossible!" _Shit, what do I tell the Earl?_

A growing wind forced them back further and a faint greenish light pulsed through the room. Innocence.

"He shouldn't be able to do that either, should he? We haven't been feeding him, he shouldn't be able to invocate!" Fran sounded panicky.

With a roar and a wrench of his arms, Allen pulled his wrists free, shackles dislodging from the wall, coating him in dust and fragments of rock.

He stood, none of his previous weakness apparent as he rose almost gracefully to his feet, enveloped in his innocence's white cowl.

"What now?" whispered Fran to the smaller Noah, who was backing towards the door, a real expression that could quite possibly be fear on her doll-like face.

"I'll go and gather some Akuma. He probably won't be able to invocate for long."

"And me?"

"Try and hold him off. I'll be right back."

**

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A/N**

**Lol reviews are love!! Share it!!!**

**Dun dun dun- Psycho Allen!!!**

**And like OMG, Kanda you cheating barstool. I will beat you myself!! You can see the problems coming already can't you? I'm so mean…**


	29. Did you?

**Argh I'm sorry. The plot bunnies deserted me and just left me with the dust bunnies under my bed. Which I then had to Hoover up cos they made me sneeze. **

**Warning. A gorey chapter. **

**I'm so sorry for not replying to the reviews. I love reviews; they make me warm and fuzzy on the inside. Well except for one or too slightly critical ones, (I don't do too well with those…grrr) but hey, the lots and lots and lots of lovely ones make up for it! Lol. But as I was saying, I'm sorry for not replying, but I haven't done it for so long I lost where I was up to, so…everyone THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! From this chapter onwards I will start replying again!**

**I don't own D Gray Man. I know that, you know that. Although with less than 3 weeks until my 21****st**** birthday, you can guess what's top of my wish list ;)**

* * *

Chapter 29- Did you?

Fran found herself leaning back against the stone of the room, her hands scrabbling behind her back as she fought to keep upright. She was so unused to this emotion. It was…fear. She was afraid. And she hated it. How could she be afraid? Since becoming a Noah she had felt some trepidation, yes, mild surprise, most definitely, but fear, full blown soul numbing fear? Never had this emotion had a place within the cold heart of the Noah.

Allen watched her, his previously dead eyes bright and fully aware of everything that was going on. A small, almost sadistic smirk played at his mouth, as though desperate to burst forth onto his pale features but knowing it had no place there.

"Is there something the matter, Francesca?" his voice was hoarse, gravely, a result of dehydration and the recent screaming it had been put through. It made the seemingly innocent sentence appear sinister.

She made a small snarling noise. "How did you do it?"

He cocked his head to one side; in what would have been a sweet, childlike gesture if it hadn't been for the scornful smirk that was still there. "Do what?"

"Break out of Road's dimension? You shouldn't have been able to do that. Nobody should be able to do that."

The smirk vanished, replaced by an expression of complete confusion. "I…I don't remember… I don't know…what happened…to me." His hands gripped his head. Or tried to. He nearly decapitated himself with his left hand. He blinked at the hand in bewilderment. "Wuh...when did I invocate? Why can't I remember? ARGH!" He dropped to his knees, his right fist pounding the floor. "What did you do to me?" The voice was barely a whisper. 

Fran didn't answer, seeing this as the perfect opportunity to escape and find out just what was taking Road so long with those Akuma. If that's what she was really doing. Somehow Fran doubted it. Sneaky little bitch, running off and leaving her behind. Fran might be a Noah, but her abilities ran more to psychological warfare. Sure, she could make blades of any size or shape pop out of her skin on a whim, and throw them with pin point accuracy with far more strength than any mere human, but she preferred to play with her prey, use her true ability to weaken her opponent. In an all-out brawl, she had little illusions as to who held the advantage. It wasn't her.

Still, this opponent was in bad shape. He hadn't been fed in two weeks; he had been subjected to various brands of torture and was weak and injured. If a little crazy.

She remembered the demonic screaming and otherworldly strength as the exorcist tore himself free from the prisons that held his mind and body. Ok, that hadn't been normal. Neither had the look in the teen's eyes as he activated his innocence. Maybe _a little crazy_ was putting it mildly.

She had nearly backed out of the door when his head snapped up, and the look was back in his eyes. "What did you do to me?" he asked again, beginning to stand. His voice was still just above a whisper, but it was hard, cold, vicious. 

Fran decided to take her chance. The blade was free from her wrist and speeding across the cell faster than the eye could follow.

Well, apparently only most eyes. Allen watched the large dagger approach. He made no attempt to catch the knife, or to swat it away. Instead he just leant to one side, not moving his feet, but bending his upper torso to the left so the blade sailed past him and buried itself in the stone behind him. If it had hit him it would have buried itself to the hilt in his upper body.

The smirk was back, stronger, with more malice hidden in its depths. "I said, what did you do to me?"

Fran gulped, her grey skin paling perceptibly. 

The action was not missed. The sneer widened. The grey-blue eyes burned with some deep emotion, and he stepped closer. "I'm sure you'll tell me. Eventually."

* * *

Kanda kept a firm grip on the tail of the golden golem, despite the fact that Timcampy kept tugging urgently and then turning around to snap his small fangs at the exorcist holding it prisoner in his secure grasp.

"Hey, Yuu-chan, does this place seem familiar to you?" Lavi's voice broke the silence.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Kanda's grip on the golem got suddenly tighter, and Timcampy promptly bit the exorcist on the knuckles. Hard. Kanda glared at him, but the golden orb had already turned away looking self satisfied. In the way that only small winged golden communication devices with attitude can.

"I don't know what you mean Lavi; all these roads look the same." Jim was fed up. They had been walking for what seemed like hours, and all they had seen were the same looking white washed buildings and endless streets.

Cross rolled his eyes and let out a column of cigarette smoke. "Did the Idiot General not teach you anything, Idiot General's Idiot Apprentice?" 

"Eh?"

"Obviously not."

Lavi slung his arm over Jim's shoulders. "Never mind him, he's an old ass" he whispered into the young blonde's ear.

"He's an old ass with good hearing."

Lavi flashed the General what he thought would be a winning smile, only to be met with the sight of the taller redhead wielding a solid-looking metal hammer. "What's that for?"

He was spared an answer by Kanda who finally spoke up. "I think we're here." Timcampy was head-butting (body-butting?) a door.

Lavi nodded, taking his innocence from the thigh holster. Cross swung Judgement lazily around his index finger. He glanced at Jim. "Not going to take out your innocence?"

Jim looked at him curiously. "For a General you don't know a lot. I'm a parasitic type."

Lavi raised his eyebrow. Not even Allen spoke to Cross like that.

"More balls than your master anyway" Cross muttered, looking slightly put out.

"Are we going to stand around and discuss the weather or are we going?" Kanda snapped suddenly. He had let go of the golem and had Mugen drawn. He appeared almost…nervous, testing the edge of the blade as though it would be anything but infinitely sharp.

"We're going. Are you all ready?" Cross gestured for Kanda to open the door, and the Japanese exorcist swung it open without further ado.

"Hey, you were right, Lavi. This looks like the first room we came into in Prague." Jim looked around.

"It is the same room" Kanda punched the wall of the room violently, splitting his knuckles and leaving a smear of blood against the wall. "Dammit, he was here all along!"

"Not necessarily. This could be just Tim coming to the last place he was. They went through Road's door; he could still be any where. He might not even be in this dimension any more." Lavi laid his hand on Kanda's shoulder, but wasn't surprised when it was thrown off in anger.

Tim was once again ramming the door, the one that led out into the street. 

"I think he wants to get going" Cross commented sardonically, lighting anther cigarette lazily.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Jim grabbed the golem's tail and opened the door slowly, casting a glance to either side. As before the street outside was deserted. The golem took off suddenly, dragging the surprised boy with it.

* * *

"Is that all you've got?" Fran panted, her hands on her knees, a trickle of blood running down the side of her face and down her neck. "You still don't have it in you to kill me, Walker. I'm still human and you're still pathetic."

Allen laughed. "I wouldn't keep talking if I were you; you're going to need all the energy you've got." He wiped his bleeding forehead with his right hand. He too was panting hard, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Are you actually having fun?" The Noah gasped incredulously. "You're mad to be enjoying your own death!"

"Sure I'm having fun, but I'm not planning on dying yet. And you still haven't told me what you did to me."

Fran laughed, still managing to sound like her usual self despite the pain. "And I'm not going to. Come on, stop talking, start dying!"

Allen growled and charged her, arms pumping as he gathered speed and threw himself at the Noah with a feral roar.

Fran grinned and made no effort to dodge, instead bringing her arm to meet the charge, an arm with a lethal short sword-like blade growing from it, lengthening as she brought the limb forward.

Allen realised his mistake just in time and threw himself backwards, sliding on his back in front of the surprised Noah. Allen's left hand split her growing blade like paper.

"You're better than I thought" she scoffed as he slid between her legs and jumped into a standing position behind her. She turned almost lazily, disguising her shock at being out manoeuvred. 

Allen was bent double trying to catch his breath, a reflection of her stance not two minutes earlier. 

"And you're dragging the Noah family's name through the dirt. I honestly expected more. Pitiful." He didn't look up, and a small string of bloody saliva dripped from his mouth.

Fran watched, feeling more confident by the second as she watched his shaking limbs and unstable stance. It looked like whatever had enabled him to invocate and break free earlier was deserting him. After all, there was only so much a parasitic-type could do on a _very_ empty stomach. They had been at this for half an hour now and it wouldn't be much longer before he completely collapsed from exhaustion.

"You don't look so good Walker. Why don't you give up?"

"Not until you tell me what you did to me! Where am I? How long have I been here? WHY?"

Fran chuckled, straightening a little more. "I'll tell you what Walker. I'm a nice girl, I'll make a deal with you. I'll tell you as you die. How does that sound?"

"Bitch!" Allen spat vehemently. "I'll pound it out of you!" He charged at her again, but his movements were slow and easy to predict, far too clumsy from blood loss and exhaustion because his body just wouldn't respond to the commands he was giving it. Or trying to give it- his brain didn't seem to be working too well either.

_Well, damn, that's not good._

Fran smiled as she brought the blade down, she didn't need to rush, she could pick out the target area and still have time to paint her nails and brush her hair. _Choices, choices… Slow death? Something that would take a long time to bleed out or something quick? A slit to the throat, perhaps?_

She settled for a long, deep slash across the body. She was a Noah after all; quick and painless were not in her vocabulary. The cut was deep and on target, and the resulting spray of bright crimson blood made painting her nails unnecessary.

The exorcist crumpled, a look of resignation crossing his face as he fell gracefully at her feet.

She crouched beside him. There was very little blood staining the area. A small amount escaped the injury and ran down his bare chest, but otherwise all bleeding was internal. Already she could see some of the bruising forming on his lower abdomen. She leant forward, her mouth by his ear. He flinched away from her warm breath. "I always keep my promises, Walker. You are about to die, so I'll tell you what happened…"

Allen couldn't feel the pain. Couldn't feel much at all, actually, but he could hear the Noah's voice, the warm exhalations on the side of his face. And he could hear her words. He could feel the rage building inside him as she told him of the Earl's plan, why they had sent an impostor back. Why they had chosen that particular Noah. Why Gregory had allowed himself to change into a certain white haired exorcist instead of another General. How the Noah's tastes ran to tall, dark haired Asian men.

Allen began to shake, and it had nothing to do with the blood pooling around his internal organs. His eyes flashed suddenly, and his innocence flared into life again.

Fran didn't have time to pull back before a white gloved hand closed around her neck.

* * *

"Tim, we've been walking for ever! Are you sure you know where you're going?" Lavi whined plaintively, fingering his eye patch for lack of something else to do.

Darkness was falling and the streets were emptying as the locals went home. They rounded yet another alley, reaching a small yard with a couple of small scattered work sheds and a stone cabin that looked…out of place.

A high pitched scream cut the still cool night air like a knife.

The group surged forwards, Kanda striding ahead, but even his hand hesitated briefly on the handle of the door before he gathered himself and pushed it open with a determination that he didn't feel.

His eyes refused to take in what they saw. His vision must be impaired…all he could see was red. It coated the ceiling, the walls, the floor, the door that led off to another corridor. He faintly heard Jim throwing up behind him, Lavi heaving as he tried not to follow suit. It wasn't only blood that festooned the room. Mixed with the red liquid were…chunks. That was all they could really be described as. Fleshy…chunks.

Even Kanda had to clamp a hand over his mouth. A stranger treated this way was bad enough, but if this…mess…was his Moyashi…

"God in heaven." Even Cross didn't sound like his usual self.

The sound of the General's voice made something in the centre of the room stir, and instantly everyone was alert. 

A red form stood slowly, shakily, bending forward as though to compensate it's weakness. The sound of more blood hitting the floor with a loud splat made them lower their guard, if only slightly. An injured person could still be a threat. Lavi approached the figure, lowering his weapon even more. As he got closer he saw what held the attention of the blood-swathed figure who was still shaking and trying to keep upright.

Whatever, no, whoever was lying on the floor at the feet of the figure would never be recognised. They had been ripped open, apparently with such force that the lumps of flesh had been flung into the four corners of the room, not to mention the ceiling, the windows, the door…if this had been the one who screamed only a minute ago God knew what kind of unnatural force was responsible. The person standing hadn't moved but still stood, head bowed, drawing rattling breaths. Fresh blood ran down the gore-smeared bare chest of the man, from a wide, deep gash running diagonally across his torso.

Lavi looked over to his team mates, gesturing Kanda, who was trying to identify a largish purplish piece of organ that had plastered itself to the wall in an interesting rabbit shape, to come over.

The man in the middle of the room still hadn't moved, but as Kanda reached Lavi's side his legs gave out and he began to fall forwards into the…mess on the floor. Without thinking, Kanda reached forwards and caught him before his legs gave out completely.

The man jumped at the contact, as though he hadn't realised he had company, and with extreme effort raised his face to look at the owner of the strong, somehow familiar arms that had caught him.

Kanda flinched as the greyish-blue eyes of the bleeding man in his arms met his own. "Moyashi?"

Lavi's head snapped up. Allen? This vision of blood and gore was Allen? There was nothing recognisable about him. His body was cloaked in blood…his arm, his hair, the scars, nothing was identifiable. Until you saw those eyes. But even then, there was something different…hard, cold…dead about them.

"Moyashi?" Kanda tried again as the expression in Allen's eyes didn't change. There was recognition, yes, but something else that he couldn't quite place.

Allen's mouth moved, but no sound came out. Kanda leaned closer.

"Is it true?"

Kanda frowned. "Is what true?"

Allen scowled, though it could have been in reaction to the pain. "I need to know. Tell me."

Kanda's frown deepened. "Know what? What are you talking about?"

Frustration brought hot, angry tears to Allen's eyes. He stared at Kanda, his expression conveying everything that he wanted the other exorcist to understand. "Did you?"

Kanda froze, not knowing how to answer, but his silence and the shocked expression on his faceanswered for him, andAllen passed into unconsciousness, he had all the answer he needed.

**A/N and yet again, my action scenes suck. Meh. On the plus side, hooray! Fran bit the dust. Yes indeedy, Fran is now several fleshy lumps (one of which looks like a purple bunny lol) and a room full of blood. Woo. And like O.O what the holy hell be dammed did I do to Allen? Honestly, I think I'm going mad. In my attempt to not make him all damsel-in-distressy (I'm frikking fed up with him being rescued all the God-damn-time, he's supposed to be The Destroyer of Time for God's sake, not fainty-rescue me, I'm pathetic) Sorry, that was a bit ranty. Anyway, in my attempt to make Allen hold his own, I made him a nutter. Oops. He still ended up all damsel-in-distressy though didn't he? Dammit.**

**Just to say, if I do go missing again in the next couple of weeks its cos I made up with my family and went home for a tearful reunion. At the moment it doesn't seem likely, but just in case lol.**


	30. One week later

Bad Rika, Bad

**Bad Rika, Bad!! I'm so sorry for not updating, but my motivation went AWOL. My sisters have now arrived for the week (joy of joys) so I don't know if that means more or less updates. Probably more as I need a stress reliever. They've only been here one day and I'm ready to kill all three of them. **

**I don't own anything other that the desire to never have my own children. Ever. (Shudders)**

* * *

Chapter 30- One week later

_Kanda smirked as he found himself flung backwards onto the bed. "Impatient are we?"_

_Allen grinned back. "Let's just say I've been waiting for this for too long." He almost tore the exorcist coat from the older man's body in his eagerness. "Argh! This is taking forever!"_

_Kanda's smirk broadened into a true smile as he shrugged himself free of the offending coat. By the time he had finished and looked up again Allen had already divested himself of his own shirt._

_With a predatory gleam in his greyish eyes Allen moved closer, brushing himself against the bare chest of the older exorcist. "What are you waiting for?"_

_Another smirk. "You_ are_ impatient." _

"_Shut up and get on with it!" Allen growled out, voice low and husky._

"_Tch."_

Kanda passed his hand over his eyes, trying to shut out the memory that continued to pound against his subconscious. It wasn't working. How had he not noticed? Or worse, had he noticed, but not cared?

He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, as though it would help to block the visuals, at the same time fighting back the bile that threatened to crawl up his throat.

"_Are you alright?" Allen's concerned face swam in front of him._

_Kanda attempted to smirk but he couldn't concentrate enough to form the facial gesture. He nodded slowly instead, still seeing stars, waiting for the feeling to return to his body. He endeavoured to speak twice before his dry throat and cottony mouth finally allowed a word to pass. "Wow."_

"_Heh. That's the first time I've seen you speechless." Allen's face was amused, his grey eyes glittering._

"_You mean the first time you've fucked me speechless."_

_Allen gave a delighted laugh, one layered with self-satisfied tones, while a very faint blush touched his cheeks. "Yeah, that too."_

Approaching footsteps jerked him away from the memory, but he didn't move, even when the door swung open with a low creak of protest. The door hadn't been opened very often of late.

"Yuu?" Lavi sounded uncharacteristically serious. "Are you ok? I looked for you in the hospital wing, but they said you hadn't been there."

Kanda didn't answer, or even acknowledge his friends presence.

"Allen would want you in there. I know he would."

Kanda found he couldn't contain the snort of disbelief that escaped him. "Don't be ridiculous."

Lavi sat down next to him, his head to one side as he regarded the Japanese man hunched against the wall. "It's been a week. Have you been to visit him at all?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't deserve to see him. Not after what I've done to him."

"Don't you think he's the one that decides that?" Lavi continued to watch him, his eye serious and slightly disapproving.

Kanda didn't reply, but his scowl deepened. "Has he woken at all?"

Lavi sighed. "Don't change the subject." Then he shook his head. "No, there's been no change, but you'd know that if you passed by there once in a while." He paused briefly before continuing hesitantly. "What do you think happened, in that room?"

Kanda opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking slightly lost. "I don't know, but it scared me. He didn't just kill that Noah, he destroyed her. It's not like him."

Lavi made a small noise of agreement. "I'm sorry to say it, but I don't know if anyone deserved that. Even a Noah." He shook his head, as though trying to clear his head of the unpleasant thoughts circling through it. "I'm worried. It happened so fast…there was hardly anytime between the scream and us arriving in the room. Just how did he do it?"

Kanda didn't reply, but his thoughts were running along the same track.

"What if it happens again?"

Kanda's head snapped back up. "What are you saying? We don't even know what happened yet."

"It's not hard to guess. But you're right, we won't know until he wakes up." Lavi looked sidelong at the man sitting next to him. "Are you going to visit?"

"No."

"Yuu…"

"No."

Lavi gave up and hauled himself to his feet. "Well don't punish yourself too much. It won't be as fun watching Allen beat you up if you look this pathetic." His serious attitude was replaced by his usual cheeky grin as he looked down at his friend.

Kanda scowled again, his fingers twitching towards the ever present sword at his side. "If you want to live to see another day, I suggest you start to run."

* * *

"I wish he'd at least _move._" Lenalee closed the door behind her with a quiet snap. She looked up at her brother. "He knows I didn't mean it when I said I hated him, right?"

Komui smiled down at his sister. "Of course. He knows you were just angry. After all, he volunteered to suffer your wrath." The supervisor chuckled slightly. He had told Lenalee how he had persuaded Allen to take the blame for forbidding her from the mission. After several whacks with a clipboard he had finally been forgiven, but she was still worried that Allen had taken her anger-fuelled rant to heart.

"Brother…what happened?"

The grisly discovery in the room in Prague was only known to a select few. All that most of the Order knew was Allen had been brought back, unconscious and bleeding to death, drenched in far too much blood to be all his own. For the last week he had been lying unconscious in the medical wing, with no sign that he was going to wake up soon.

Komui had decided that Lenalee did not need to know the full details of what had been found in that room. "We won't know fully until he wakes up and we can ask him."

Lenalee frowned. "I can always ask Cross. I'm sure he'll tell me the truth."

"No, Lenalee. This is not something you should know about yet. Not until we have spoken to Allen about it."

"It's that bad?" Lenalee's worry increased.

"Yes." Komui closed his eyes briefly. Then he looked at her. "Don't worry Lenalee, everything will be fine."

"Yes brother, I know." She offered him a small smile. "Have you seen Kanda lately?"

"No, I haven't actually, not since they got back." He paused, a frown passing over his unusually serious face "I could do with seeing him though, so if you find him, tell him to come to my office please?"

She assented silently with a nod. "Maybe Lavi's seen him, and he's easier to find than Kanda. I'll see you later brother."

* * *

"Lavi!"

Something connected with his head with brutal finality. He jerked his head up, the piece of parchment he should have been writing on sticking to his face, glued to his cheek with drool. "Wuh?" He blinked blearily, looking around for the source of the disturbance. "Lenalee?" He squinted up from his seat at the desk into the face of an exasperated Chinese girl. An exasperated Chinese girl holding a large book. That explained the lovely egg that was now blooming on the back of his head.

"Finally!" She had been calling his name for a while, and had been answered by nothing but soft snores and the odd grunt. "My brother wants to see Kanda, and I can't find him anywhere. Have you seen him?"

Lavi's cheerful expression folded into a carefully composed blankness. "He's in Allen's room."

"I went down there, but he's not there."

"Not the General's suite, he's in Allen's old room."

Comprehension dawned on her features, her mouth open in a silent 'oh' of understanding. "How is he?"

"Rough." Lavi answered honestly.

"Did…did he really…um…you know…" she flushed a little, stuttering to a stop. She had heard the rumours fluttering around headquarters about the relationship between Kanda and the Noah that had replaced Allen.

Lavi looked away, not being able to vocalise his answer, but the lack of eye contact was all the affirmation she needed.

"Oh, God." She put her hand over her mouth and found it was shaking a little. "Does Allen know?"

Lavi looked back at her, his eye filled with a deep sadness. "I think he does. I couldn't really hear, but I think that was what he asked Yuu about before he passed out."

"How would he know though? If he's had no contact with the outside world…" she looked at him fearfully. "He didn't know, he only thought about it. That Noah was there, wasn't she? Francesca?" her voice faded away and tears sprang into fruition in the corners of her wide eyes, her entire frame shaking with the memory of what the Noah of Faith could do to a mind.

Lavi slipped his arm around her shoulders. "She's gone now. You don't have to worry about her anymore."

"Gone?" She leaned away from him, her tears stopping in shock.

"Allen killed her. At least, we think it was her, we couldn't really tell. There wasn't a lot left."

"What?"

"Didn't you know? She was ripped apart. We think Allen did it with his bare hands, that's why he was covered in all that blood."

Lenalee stared at him, all traces of her previous distress gone. "Pull the other one. Allen wouldn't do something like that!"

"We won't know until he wakes up, but at the minute that's the only explanation we have."

She knew now why Komui hadn't told her, and didn't feel angry at her brother at all. She wished she could go back to not knowing. Allen…killing someone so brutally? It didn't seem right, it didn't seem…Allen. "I'm going to find Kanda to pass on brother's message" she told the bookman apprentice woodenly, turning away.

Lavi shot out a hand to grab her arm as she began to leave. "Tell him to go and see Allen. He hasn't been to visit yet…and I think it might do them both some good. He might listen to you."

She nodded distractedly before continuing on her way.

Lavi returned to the drool smeared parchment, a growing dread creeping upon him.

* * *

Lenalee glanced at the silent man walking beside her. "You know Kanda, they say people in a coma can sometimes still hear what's going on. You should go and talk to him. Who knows, it might help him wake up."

Kanda didn't reply, but then again she hadn't really expected an answer. They reached Komui's door without further conversation, one-sided or otherwise, and Lenalee left him standing in front of her brother.

Komui looked at Kanda for a minute, as thought studying him carefully. Then he gestured to the sofa. "Sit down, please Kanda."

Kanda acquiesced, still remaining silent.

Komui sighed. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"I'm worried. We've tried everything, but there's been no response. Allen is wasting away. He's on drips, had his blood replenished, been stitched up and is otherwise healing well… but from what we can tell, everything is shutting down. Only the bare minimum is running so to speak. He breathes, his heart beats, but other than that…"

"I don't know what you're trying to say. Just spit it out."

"We need him to wake up before his body shuts down completely. I don't know what they did to him in there but his mind is wandering freely apparently."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You haven't been to see him. If you can't call him back to us…" Komui sighed again, heavily and full of sadness. "Well, then at least you can say goodbye."

Kanda's eyes darkened for a moment.

"_I thought I was going to lose you. I never want to feel like that again."_

"_What makes you think I would ever let that happen?"_

Dammit, he had promised he would not die. He had promised! He had said those words the last time he had been in the medical wing. He had promised Kanda that he would not allow himself to die.

"I can't go now, will tomorrow be ok?"

He was trying to keep his voice calm and blank. Trying to sound like his usual self. And failing.

Komui gave a small smile. "Don't leave it any later though."

* * *

The finders flanking the door did not try to stop him, but the one on the left uttered a low warning. "I know he heals like a bitch, but try not to kill him."

Kanda nodded curtly. "I only want to talk."

The finders looked at each other, eyes flickering with understanding. Cross had only wanted to 'talk' with the Noah. It had taken the still very much Allen shaped Noah three days to fully heal.

Kanda entered the room and glared at the occupant tied to the chair in its centre. The expression on the captives face brightened when he saw his visitor.

"My, my, if it isn't Kanda. What's the matter couldn't get enough of me?" He ran his tongue over his bottom lip.

Kanda punched him. "Stop wearing him! Turn back!" Even to his own ears he sounded desperate and pathetic.

The Noah grinned, despite the blood running from a clearly broken nose. "I suppose after killing him, a few punches are neither here nor there." He spat a globule of blood onto the floor at his feet. "The only reason you're here is because you want me, and you can't handle it." He made no noise as Kanda's fist collided with his stomach, but it made him clench around his abdomen as much as his bonds would allow, eyes closed in pain. "You can't handle the fact you liked it." He raised his head to regard the exorcist. "Or is it that you can't handle the fact you liked it more?"

Kanda raised his fist again, but the Noah's words stopped him. _Was he right? Had he enjoyed the two weeks with this Noah more than the months with Allen? He couldn't have…right?_ He let his arm fall and left the room silently, barely noticing the finders exchange puzzled looks at the relatively healthy state the prisoner had been left in. He wandered the corridors until a familiar door came into view. He shut himself away inside the room and fell into a troubled sleep.

**

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A/N I was reading through the chapters on the net and realised just how many mistakes there were…and it annoyed the heck out of me. Gonna have to go back and sort that out at some point…

**I'm sorry, motivation has deserted me and thus my story wallows in further suckage. I must work harder.**


	31. Dreams and memories

**And cos I'm feeling guilty for lack of updates, have another (little) chapter on me. It's not that good. Hell it's pretty shitty actually but my brain has turned to mush. Plus the fact I have a 12 year old, a 9 year old and a 6 year old running riot in my house means that finding the time to sit and write is difficult. **

**(Two POVs. Allen goes first, then Kanda, then Allen, then… you get the point…)**

**Still not owning…though that birthday is creeping closer… less than two weeks to go (yay!!)**

* * *

Chapter 31-Dreams and Memories

It was amazing. The best moment of my whole life. Not that it was difficult to top any of the past occurrences of my life. Tragedy following tragedy, and only that one mantra keeping me going, telling me to not give up on life, that something better was up ahead if only I was willing to endure long enough to reach it.

Keep walking.

I knew I always would, no matter what life threw at me, I could never give up. To give up would be to admit that I did not have a future, that all I had lived through was a test that I had failed somehow. Even if this life ground me down, I would always keep walking forwards. I would reach my reward; I would endure all suffering, because I firmly believed that somewhere, it was waiting for me.

And I had it. It was only a word, a feeling, but it meant that I had something more to live for. Not the Akuma I sought to save, or the nameless, faceless people I defended, but a family. I had arrived at the Order and found a family. Dysfunctional, yes. Crazy, most certainly, but it was different and fantastic and so utterly perfect I could forget the past. I would have no trouble moving forward with these people at my side. I was happy for the first time in a long time, because once again, I was loved.

And my life got better.

And then got better still .I found a new type of love.

* * *

I fell asleep in his old room again. Our old room, I guess. We did share it briefly, I had claimed it while he was away and he never chased me away when he returned. I was so afraid when I first saw him. I knew whatever he had experienced out there had altered him. It was in his eyes. Knowledge of things I would never understand. Hurt, pain, suffering and overwhelming sadness. The loss of innocence. Gained cynicism. Perhaps it was my fault; maybe I had started that change long before he left. The naïveté he held annoyed me, I had tried to force him out of it on many occasions, but now I mourned its loss.

I couldn't go and see him. I did not deserve to look upon that face anymore. It would be too hard.

If I didn't see him, I could forget about the other that wore that face. I could forget the feelings of guilt and revulsion. I did not know how he had realised the truth, but all it took was one look at me and he just knew it. Perhaps it was in my eyes. Did my betrayal show? Could he really look upon me and with that one glance know that I had been unfaithful?

* * *

I had always wondered whether he knew how much it had cost me to finally confess. Well, not so much a confession as me throwing myself on him, but still. We had been talking, a relatively new occurrence between us. Since Komui had forced us to spend time together to aid with my 'rehabilitation', we had talked a little more. Not much, but it was better than the stark silences, angry glares and furious rants that usually accompanied us in our time together. During those long days the arguing was more subdued, the banter playful and the silences were comfortable. And that kiss in the dark hallways of the order…

So sure, technically he had made the first move, but with him being who he was, he didn't make it easy for me to return the favour. That idiot.

I can still feel the first touches. His breath against my skin. He had been so uncertain, unsure of himself. I had felt so honoured that he allowed me to see that side of him. I wanted him with all my heart and soul. And for once in my life, I got what I wanted.

I think back to that now, and forgetting everything that followed…the misunderstandings, accusations, the hurt we both went through, I know that in that one instance he opened up to me more than he had to anybody before, and I feel privileged, knowing he trusted me with his own heart. I knew I was the luckiest person alive.

* * *

I was the luckiest person alive, having someone so wonderful love me. He was my lover, my friend, my confidante, he knew me better than I knew myself. And I thought I knew him too. I was obviously mistaken.

Perhaps that was why it had only taken one glance at me to see the truth, but two weeks for me to realise there was something wrong. Seriously wrong. I thought back over that time and realise I had known that it wasn't normal behaviour., but I was so wrapped up in the selfish feeling that I was getting something out of this slightly more aggressive side. I enjoyed our times together and as much as it sickens me to think back on it, I realised I enjoyed those moments of passion with the Noah, more than I had with my so-called love. The Noah had been submissive in everyway, but with that edge of aggression, like he was going to make sure he got what he wanted too. And it turned me on.

Allen had always been more concerned about my pleasure than his own. He had been the perfect bottom, and I had always been satisfied, but then the Noah came, and fought… When Allen and I first got together, he had been like that, but as time passed he changed. When he had returned, everything was different.

The urge to vomit comes again and I wait for the nausea to pass. My mind had been trying to blame this whole fiasco on Allen, and although it made the bile rise once more, made my vision swim and my body break out in a cold, shivering sweat, I found myself allowing the thought to continue. To circle and grow and devour until it consumed everything else and the dreaming ended.

* * *

I wondered if I could forgive. If I could forget. Hell, I didn't even know if I had anything to forgive or forget. I hadn't had a reply to the question. He had looked away, but I saw those eyes, and they were filled with pain, and guilt. But now I realised that I was jumping to conclusions. I didn't know what had happened here while I was being held. Those eyes could have meant anything. It was my stupid, Noah-fucked mind that had caused me to assume the worst, and now I felt sick. Dirty. I had believed that Kanda had been unfaithful, without even talking to him properly. I had woken up, covered in blood, in a room awash with gore and found him there. And all my muddled mind could dredge up was the fuzzy image of the last scene that the Noah of Faith had presented me with. The image of Kanda and me…only it wasn't me, it was that Noah. The one they had sent to assassinate the Generals while wearing my face.

I didn't deserve him. He trusted me and I betrayed him by making assumptions and not returning his trust. I needed to talk to him, apologise, beg forgiveness, whatever it took.

But first I needed to wake up.

**

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**

A/N Ah, the randomness. I find it easier to write in first person, but it rarely makes sense…

**Hehe more angst and emotional torture to come, can you tell? I cannot screw up my own love life (cos it doesn't exist) therefore I must do so to others in the form of fiction**.


	32. Break

**OMG I'm so sorry! I have turned into the world's assiest authoress! So here be a chapter for you and it comes with the promise that despite knowing I have failed my uni exams (again), not having 24/7 internet access like I did before, having to find a job, earning my keep by helping out excessively at home (we're talking decorating, gardening and loft clearance) and writing a 10,000 word report on flooding in the midlands, I have NOT abandoned ATW, and will continue to scribble away in my notebook and update as and when I can get hold of some free time and a modem. The updates will therefore be sporadic during the summer BUT the story will be finished in the next couple of months. I apologise in advance for my suckiness and would like to thank everyone who has reviewed or PM'd me, your support means everything!!**

**And of course, I don't own DGM. If I did, there would be a mandatory lack of upper body uniform for all bishies. **

* * *

Chapter32- Break

Kanda paused, his hand already grasping the brass doorknob with perhaps a little more force than was necessary. In that brief moment of time when his body stood still, his mind seemed to speed up, thoughts racing as he debated whether actually entering the room was the best idea. He did want to end the day alive, after all.

He pushed the door open slowly, listening for the sound of movement from within. The room, as always, was silent save for the soft rustling of the curtains that were drawn across the open window, keeping the room shaded and cool.

Allen didn't look like he'd moved at all. The sheets were still smooth, and the white hair of the bed's occupant, though still lightly tinged with red, was lying neatly across the pillow.

Kanda sat by the bedside, looking doubtfully at his comatose lover. He did look like he was fading away. His skin was translucent and his face was far thinner than Kanda have ever seen it, even back when Allen really was a bean sprout. He fingered a lock of snowy hair absently, feeling more than a little foolish. There was no proof that Allen could hear anything, and talking to a person who wasn't listening, couldn't respond and probably didn't know what was going on around him just seemed frankly stupid. Still…

"Hey, Moyashi." Kanda looked around furtively, speaking in a low voice, just in case there was someone around to hear him talking. "Wake up, okay? You promised me that you weren't going to die. And I know you always keep your promises. You're just that kind of a person, still too soft for your own good." He took hold of the pale cold hand that was lying on top of the blanket. "Dammit! Wake up! We need to know what happened to you back there!"

He didn't speak again for a while, but continued to hold the unresponsive hand. Eventually he spoke up once more. "I need you to wake up so I can say sorry. I just need you to wake up. Please." Kanda found he was blinking back tears, his voice sounding a little strained. With a small shake of his head, he stood and made to move towards the door, but a tiny sound, a barely-there whimper stopped him dead. He turned back to the bed, watching as Allen's forehead furrowed, cracking the scabs that covered it. The eyelids fluttered open briefly before closing again, accompanied by a rough groan.

Nobody said anything, Kanda remained where he was standing, watching the fragile form on the bed while concentrating on schooling his face to perfect blankness and squashing down the mixture of feelings that threatened to overwhelm him as he waited for Allen bring himself to consciousness.

"Kanda?" Allen's voice broke the heavy silence uncertainly. His eyes remained closed as he listened for the other exorcist's reply.

"You're awake." Kanda sounded oddly quiet.

Allen opened one eye slightly, glancing towards the voice through his partially cracked lid. "Thank you Captain Obvious." He sighed and resigned himself to waking up fully. Kanda's stoic face swam into view as Allen sat up slowly and ran his hands over his face, rubbing the last traces of sleep from his still tired eyes. "How long was I out?"

"Couple of weeks. Everyone's been worried; they thought you were going to die. Your body started to shut down."

Allen frowned a little, looking down at his body, taking in his too-thin frame. "What happened? I don't…the meeting…with the Earl. I went with them and…" The frown deepened, and he felt the tug of skin from his still healing wound as his forehead wrinkled. He ran his hand across it, swallowing the bile that threatened to overtake him as the memories of his imprisonment flooded back. He lay back, pressing his face against the cool pillow and tried to control the nausea that rolled through him.

Despite his distress, he did notice that Kanda hadn't moved from his spot. In fact, he remained oddly distant and silent throughout his lover's anguish.

Swallowing again, Allen turned to the other man. "Is there something wrong?"

Kanda looked at him blankly, his eyes flat and empty. "No."

Allen tried to control the scowl that tried to make its way across his face. "Oh, ok then." He kept his voice as neutral as he could, though the hurt he was feeling flashed across his expressive features. "You know you can talk to me, right? I'll listen to whatever you have to say, no matter what it is."

Kanda glowered at him, the first expression that broke through his impassive mask. "What makes you think I have something to say?"

Allen smoothed the sheets beneath his fingers, giving his knees unwarranted attention in the form of a soft glare. "Forget it, it's nothing."

The Japanese exorcist sighed, a gentle expulsion of air. He pulled the chair towards him, instead of approaching the bed and sat down in it stiffly. "I'm sorry."

Allen glanced at him, but Kanda was studiously looking everywhere but in his direction. "For what?"

"I've done something terrible." Kanda looked up at the ceiling, knowing Allen deserved an explanation, but he struggled to find the words. "We brought back the Noah, disguised as you…and nobody could tell the difference… I couldn't tell the difference. At all. He risked a glance at the white haired General. Apart from the faint wetness that coated the silver eyes, Allen's face was carefully blank. He'd suspected, no, he'd known that this would happen. After all, it was what Francesca had tortured him with for a fortnight.

"I slept with the Noah." Kanda clarified; worried that Allen hadn't reacted the way he had expected.

The General gave him a small watery smile as a single tear escaped and trailed down his cheek. "Heh, me too."

_Oh hell, no. That didn't mean…did it?_ Kanda continued to stare in disbelief at Allen, who flushed under the intense gaze of the older man.

"Um…Kanda…are you okay?"

"Of course. I should be asking you that. I…" He struggled to find the words he needed. "You don't have to talk about what happened, but I know everyone wants to know what happened to that Noah."

Allen frowned as though puzzled, but in all honesty he knew full well what had happened to Francesca. You didn't rip someone apart and forget the feeling in a hurry. "I don't…I can't remember." He looked so frankly perplexed that Kanda decided to drop the issue. It wasn't important at the moment.

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Allen looked at the other exorcist and smiled kindly, shocking Kanda with the pureness of the expression.

"It doesn't matter Kanda. I'm back, the real me. Everything else we can work through together."

Kanda didn't even attempt to return the smile, knowing it would come out strained. Instead he offered a short nod, ignoring how the sad, yet still understanding smile the action earned in response made guilt sweep through him and settle firmly in his stomach. He had a feeling that that particular sensation would not be going away anytime soon.

* * *

"He says we can work through it." Kanda rubbed his face, not looking at his companion.

Lavi folded his arms behind his head as they came to a stop, leaning against the stone wall of the corridor. "That's good news then, right?"

Kanda scowled and looked around. It was bad enough that he had to discuss his problem with Lavi without some nosy finder listening in from the shadows of the adjoining corridor. Luckily the area seemed devoid of all life. "I don't know if I want to work through it."

Lavi dropped his arms, shock washing over his face. "What?"

Kanda's scowl deepened in response. "We never said it would be a forever thing."

Lavi studied him carefully. "Why now?" His eye widened. "Please tell me this has nothing to do with that Noah."

Kanda flushed a little, but denied the suggestion vehemently. "Of course not. We're just too different. We gave it a shot, but it's run its course. It's over now."

"Allen said the same thing to me once, but I persuaded him some things are worth the risk. I don't think he thinks this is over."

Kanda scoffed. "Moyashi doesn't think at all." The words were made uglier by the lie.

"Have you told him?"

"No, not yet. I don't know what to say to him."

"The truth." Lavi said it as if it should have been obvious.

"What, go up to him and say 'hey, we should stop seeing each other. I've realised we're wrong for each other, an epiphany I had after having sex with the enemy, who also raped you. Sex I rather enjoyed!" Kanda was almost yelling, red in the face with his fists clenched tightly at his sides.

Lavi blinked and opened his mouth, but shut it again with a snap, as though biting back the words that he was about to say. Eventually he trusted himself to speak. "You're my best friend Yuu, but I swear to God, if you hurt him, I'll kill you. He's been though enough already without you adding to it. So whatever you DO say, it better be a REAL excuse, not that bullshit you just fed me, you hear? Because I WILL fucking kill you." Lavi paused, then a sour sneer crossed his features. "Perhaps it's for the best though. From what you just said all you care about it the physical side of the relationship anyway. Allen deserves so much better."

Kanda could only watch as Lavi stormed away, before turning and leaving in the opposite direction. Unseen by both of them, a small golden golem hovered near the ceiling for another minute before flitting away.

* * *

Allen watched Timcampy's recording with a blank impassive face, listening to Lavi and Kanda's conversation. The scene ended and Tim closed his mouth, hovering uncertainly above Allen's head. When the exorcist didn't move after several minutes, the golem settled beside him on the bed.

"Oh Tim, what am I going to do? I knew something like this was going to happen…" He scrubbed his face furiously with the heels of his hands. "I can't stay in here." He looked around the hospital room dejectedly. "Time to go back to my old room I think. It's the only good thing to come from not finding many new accommodators… still spare rooms." He looked at the golem. "Go and make sure the coast is clear while I get changed, Tim."

Five minutes later he was sneaking through the corridors with the golden golem fluttering above his head anxiously, eventually reaching his old room. It still reminded him of Kanda a little, but he knew that being in the General's suite would be unbearable. He'd never be able to go back there now, knowing what had happened in that bed…

He shook his head firmly. No more of those thoughts. Right now he needed a good sleep. Maybe later he could go down to the cafeteria and get some much needed food; after all, he'd not eaten in a month. A shower also seemed like a good idea, though unless he braved the bathroom in his suite, it would mean using the communal showers and risking running into somebody who would berate him for being out of bed…

He was still planning when he fell asleep.

* * *

When Allen woke many hours later, he wondered what had disturbed him. Upon opening his eyes, he jumped back in shock with a strangled yelp. Lenalee gave a small giggle. "Sorry Allen, I didn't mean to wake you, but we were worried when we found you'd gone from the hospital wing."

He gave her a cheery smile. "That's okay. I should have told someone, but if the choice is a real bed or that slab of concrete they have in the hospital, I thought I should sleep in a real bed. Two weeks on that thing have done a number on my back!" He didn't mention the fact that not only his back, but his left shoulder and knee and the right side of his chest were throbbing painfully, and it had nothing to do with the admittedly uncomfortable bed he'd been lying on. _They must have been serious about my body shutting down…all my old injuries are coming back to haunt me…_

"I'm heading down to the dining hall, are you coming?" Lenalee offered him a hand, which he took gratefully.

"Yeah, thanks. I reckon I need feeding up!" He gestured at the way his clothes hung from his thin frame.

"I heard that Kanda went in with him a couple of days ago, but for some reason he didn't nearly kill him like Cross did. It was weird."

Allen clenched his hand around his fork, trying to block out the finder's conversation going on behind him.

Lenalee laid her hand over his. "Don't worry about it Allen, everything will be alright."

Allen turned sorrowful eyes to her, offering a smile so sad that it made her heart ache to see it. Wordlessly, he gestured to Timcampy who was sitting on the table, helping himself to the noodles that were escaping Allen's tray. Obediently the golem opened its mouth and played the recording of Kanda and Lavi's conversation quietly so only she could hear.

"Oh Allen!" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders when the recording finished. "I'm sure he didn't mean it! It's not the first time he's lied about his feelings is it?"

"Thanks Lenalee, you're a great friend." Allen put his fork down, no longer hungry. His brain began ticking over. From what the finders had said, exorcists could get into the room where the Noah was being held…and as a General, he thought he'd be able to gain access without too much difficultly… "I'm going to go back to bed, I'm knackered!" He smiled carefully at the Chinese girl, making sure none of his thoughts leaked onto his face. She looked like she'd been fooled as she gave him a short wave, turning back to her own meal.

* * *

It had been ridiculously easy to get into the Noah's room. The finders on guard duty didn't even look at him once, instead glancing at each other in understanding and moving aside to allow Allen access.

"You piece of shit! Do you know what you've done to me?" Allen flung the Noah against the wall, watching in satisfaction as Gregory's white hair flickered to brown for an instant. "Why don't you show us your real face?" he raged, grasping a handful of shirt and hauling the Noah to face him, seeing himself reflected in eyes identical to his own, before backhanding him brutally across the face, following it with a hefty punch, feeling the skin on his knuckles of his right hand split on impact. He hadn't even activated his innocence yet.

The Noah's face broke into an evil grin as he licked the blood trailing down his face. "I kind of like this body, I think I'll keep it." He leered at the exorcist "it comes with certain benefits. How's your samurai doing, by the way?"

With an anguished cry, Allen drew back his fist and swung madly at the Noah's face, determined to wipe the smug smirk from his features once and for all. His fist connected with Gregory's face with a satisfying smack, forcing the Noah's head sideways and causing droplets of thick scarlet blood and a chipped tooth to fly from his slack mouth. Allen smiled darkly, pleased with the result, but it still wasn't enough.

Activating his innocence, Allen drew back his left hand, fully prepared to deliver the final blow to the already bloody and beaten Noah, but just as he moved to sink the sharp fingers of his innocence hand into the Noah, a strong hand closed around xhis wrist, halting all movement.

The white-haired exorcist whirled round to face the one holding his arm in the tight grip, ready to unleash his heated rage upon whoever it was, his right hand already moving to strike the Noah's saviour.

Kanda moved his free arm to intercept Allen's right fist as it swung at his face. He caught it easily, Allen's anger making his movements exaggerated and easy to predict.

As his hand was stopped by Kana, Allen froze, a frown flitting across his face, momentarily displacing anger with confusion. "Kanda…what?"

The grip on his left arm tightened. "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Allen blinked in surprise before the fog of fury began to descend again. "I could ask the same of you. What are you doing?"

The Japanese man sneered. "Stopping you from doing something you'll regret."

Allen gave a short mad laugh. "Then you should let go."

"What?"

"There's no way I'll regret this, let me go! He deserves it! He's a Noah, the enemy! For God's sake, let me go dammit!" With an almighty wrench, Allen yanked his arm free and turned back to the Noah, who had been trying to crawl away, despite his broken legs.

The lethal fingers reached for the Noah for a second time and that was when Kanda moved, placing himself between Gregory and Allen, who froze again.

"Don't do this Moyashi."

"Why are you defending him? I thought the mission meant everything to you! HE.IS.THE.ENEMY!"

Kanda frowned. By all rights he should be allowing Allen to finish the Noah. The other exorcist was right. Gregory was a Noah, the enemy and for the good of the mission, he needed to die. So why was it he was standing between an exorcist General and the enemy, protecting the Noah?

Allen's eyes glazed with tears and he stumbled slightly, reeling in shock. Only Kanda's grip on his still fisted right had kept him standing. "Oh God, you meant it! You meant what you told Lavi! You meant it all! I thought we could work through this! I thought…I didn't…Damn, I'm so stupid! I should have seen this; I knew it was too good to be true!" Disbelief made him near incoherent.

Kanda looked startled. "Moyashi, what are…?"

"Don't call me that! Just…don't…" Allen turned away, heading towards the door, all traces of his earlier rage gone. "I'm sorry Kanda, if I forced you into something that wasn't what you wanted. I'll leave you two alone now."

"I don't understand what you're saying…" Kanda took a step forward, letting go of Allen's right hand, which he had still been holding in a tight grip and clasped his left arm at the elbow.

"I heard you tell Lavi that you thought we were over. That you found someone better." Allen tried to walk towards the door again, but Kanda's hold on his arm prevented him. Both exorcists seemed to have forgotten the Noah that was still in the room, watching with great interest.

"Now wait just a minute, Moyashi. I…"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Allen repeated, enraged, ripping his arm free by twisting it sharply, ignoring the distinct crack from Kanda's forearm in his anger. "Just leave me the hell alone. Isn't it enough that you've ruined my life and broken my heart? You want to rub my face in it too? You didn't even have the guts to talk to me! Do you know what I was tortured with in that hell hole? I was trapped in Road's dimension and Francesca showed me what she thought would break me the most, the thing that finally made me snap and do THAT to her. I know what I did; I tore her apart with my bare hands! I ripped her to pieces and bathed in her blood! Do you know WHY? Because she used her little mind tricks to give me visions of you and HIM together, and you told him…" Allen paused briefly, drawing in a deep breath, calming a little, which allowed the tears to begin trailing down his face. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse and cracked, barely above a whisper. "…You told him how much better he was than me. You said how much you preferred the new 'me'. Then I came back after living through that nightmare, taking all the beatings and abuse. I came home to you, the one thing that kept me going through those two weeks…and I found out that it was all true." His voice broke and a sob shook his shoulders. Allen then noticed Kanda clutching his arm and remembered the sound of breaking bones when he threw Kanda off him. He reached out his hand towards the other but dropped it suddenly. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, not meeting the gaze directed at him. And with that he turned and fled.

* * *

Ignoring the pitifully moaning Noah still slumped against the wall, Kanda pulled himself from his shocked daze and charged from the room, determined to find Allen and straighten out this whole mess once and for all. Unfortunately for him, a certain red-haired bookman caught hold of him as he sped through the corridors.

"What the hell is going on, Yuu? Allen just ran past looking like someone killed his puppy. Did you tell him?"

Kanda sighed, he didn't have time for this, but he knew how protective Lavi was of the younger man and knew he would not be able to go without an explanation.

"Somehow he heard us talking yesterday and…" He didn't get any further as he found himself shoved against the wall, a very angry red-head holding his shoulders and glaring at him.

"I told you this would happen! I TOLD you!" Lavi released him, noticing for the first time the unnatural angle of Kanda's forearm. "What happened? How did you break your arm?"

Kanda told him what had occurred in the Noah's prison room.

"We have to find Allen now! He's bound to do something stupid since he's sure to feel guilty!" Lavi dragged Kanda along, broken bones seemingly forgotten by both of them.

Searches of the canteen, training rooms, Allen's bedroom, showers and the forest proved fruitless however. As a last resort, Lavi and Kanda headed to Komui's office. As they approached the door opened and a very dejected looking Jim shuffled out, followed by a confused and worried Lenalee.

"I'm sure he had his reasons, Jim" she soothed, patting the young boy on the shoulder. "He wouldn't have done it if it wasn't terribly important."

"Lenalee, Birdy-chan, have you seen Moyashi-chan anywhere? We've lost him and we're a bit worried."

Lenalee and Jim glanced at each other, before the boy replied "we just heard from Komui. Apparently, Allen's gone."

**

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**

A/N Well, there we go. I know this is pathetic and sucks in ways not even the best thesaurus can describe, but that's life kids. I'm feeling a bit frustrated and crappy at the moment, I feel like I'm always ill but nobody will let me get the sleep I need! Grrr….damn parents. That's why Allen went all ranty and psycho- a reflection of my own mind. :)

**Much Lovage**

**Rika X**


	33. Search Party

****

And lo, the world ceases to turn, the sun goes out, the moon implodes and the stars all fall- for I, Rika, have posted yet another chapter!!

**Of course, I may be responsible for the end of the universe, but I do not, nor shall I ever be the owner of D Gray Man.**

* * *

Chapter 33- Search Party

Kanda glared at Jim. "Gone? Gone where? What the fuck is going on?"

Lenalee spoke again in her soothing voice. "My brother said Allen came to him about half an hour ago, told him he'd nearly killed the Noah, done something terrible and couldn't stay here any longer in case he snapped again like he did with Francesca. He's gone back into the field. He used the ark, he could be anywhere in the world now."

Jim noticed Lavi and Kanda's shocked faces. "Didn't tell you two either huh? I'm worried, he's in no fit state to be out there alone! He's only been out of the hospital a few days, and before that he was nearly dying! What could he have done that was so terrible he felt he had to get out of here for OUR safety?"

He noticed Kanda cradling his arm, although the samurai was obviously trying to make the pose look natural.

"Kanda, what happened to your arm?" Jim paused. "Did Allen…?"

"We have to get him back. As you said, he shouldn't be out there alone in his condition." Lavi interrupted Jim's question. "There's something strange going on. First he tears that female Noah to pieces, then attempts to do the same to this one. It just doesn't seem like Allen at all." Lavi's usually cheerful voice was deadly serious.

"We better make sure your arm heals properly, Kanda. Shouldn't we splint it?" Lenalee laid her hand on his shoulder, starting him out of his thoughts.

Kanda grunted. His arm would be healed by the next day, but it wouldn't do if it didn't heal straight. Lenalee took this as a yes and led him away to the hospital wing.

* * *

Jim looked at Lavi. "What do we do now?"

"We need to go after him. Moyashi's reckless at the best of times, but when his thoughts are al messed up, he'll be even worse." Lavi then sighed. "Komui will never let us go."

"What? Why? Surely if we explain everything to him! He's not going to want Allen wandering around in the condition he's in, is he?"

Lavi thought about this. "He let him go in the first place though, didn't he?"

Jim shook his head ferociously. "From what I understand, Allen just _told_ him he was leaving and went. In any case, if Allen's a General, could Komui really have stopped him?"

With a slight frown, Lavi nodded reluctantly. Just because Allen didn't like to pull rank didn't mean he wouldn't if he needed to. "I just don't know where to start looking. He used the ark, he could be anywhere in the world, there's no way of knowing where he went."

"It does seem a bit hopeless, but we can't give up!" Jim's fist clenched at his sides and he was shaking. "We just can't! Allen wouldn't give up on any of us!"

Lavi put his arm over Jim's trembling shoulders. "Don't worry about it, Jim" he used the boy's real name to stress how serious he was. "I'm not giving up, and neither are the others. We'll find him and drag him back by the hair if we have to!"

Jim gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Lavi."

Lavi grinned in response. "No problem, Birdy-chan."

They were silent for a while, looking aimlessly out of the window into the gathering dusk.

Eventually Jim spoke up again. "I'm just really worried about him. Did he really break Kanda's arm?"

Lavi nodded slowly. "I'm not sure how it happened; Yuu won't tell me anything about it." Lavi looked once more out of the window then said: "Let's go and find them. Lenalee's bound to have finished splinting his arm by now. We can have a talk about what we're going to do next, and we'll go and see Komui first thing tomorrow."

* * *

Allen drew his coat around him tightly. He was starting to regret not planning this little adventure more carefully. The icy wind was still managing to worm its way through his clothes and the snow was soaking through his trousers where it came up to his thighs. He stumbled through another snow drift, this time sinking in to his waist. "Dammit!" Looking around he was both relieved and depressed at the landscape's barren emptiness. For miles around, there was nothing but the pristine whiteness of deep snow and icy water, gathered in the hollows of the undulating ground. There wasn't even any vegetation to break up the monotony. But that suited him fine. If there was nobody around, they would be safe. He didn't trust himself around people any more. After all, if he could hurt the person he loved the most, what could he do to a stranger?

However the lack of people did present a slight problem. The temperature was dropping steadily as the sun sank beyond the horizon. The extended daylight hours, (at this time of year the sun was up for near twenty hours each day, and the time it was below the horizon was like perpetual dusk) did not mean that it was any warmer. His lips were already chapped and his cheeks seared by the frigid arctic wind. The lack of people meant that finding shelter was going to be near impossible. He found his thoughts wandering back to the Order. The hot showers, wonderful food from the cafeteria, a big, wide warm bed, Kanda holding him…no, he needed to stay well away from those thoughts, they would lead to nothing but heartache and anger, two things that he needed to avoid while wandering this wilderness.

The sun had well and truly set now, as much as it could, casting the snow-covered landscape in a grey half-light. There was nothing to it. He had been hoping to avoid this but needs must. He activated his innocence and scooped snow out of a drift, just big enough to crawl into. Using the stick he had found earlier he made sure he had an air hole and could get out if he got buried in a blizzard that could strike during the night and settled down, wrapping his coat more firmly around himself. Not that it helped too much. After not eating for a month, he was thinner than he had ever been and so did not generate much body heat to warm his burrow with. "Dammit!" he growled again, feeling utterly miserable. _But,_ he reasoned with himself, _at least the others are safe from me._

* * *

"But Komui!"

"Allen is a general; he's entitled to go off around the world. In fact, it's his job! It's what he was promoted to do." Komui looked like he hated every word he was saying, his face betraying his true feelings. He didn't want Allen out there either.

"But…!"

Komui shook his head. "I know you want to blame me for letting him go, but I did try to persuade him not to. Unfortunately there was nothing I could say to persuade him. He seemed to think he was doing everyone a favour by leaving."

Lavi looked at Kanda carefully, but the Japanese man's face did not betray any of his thoughts. He turned back to Komui. "He's worried he'll snap like he did with the Noah's and hurt one of us." _Again._

Komui frowned. "This is Allen we're talking about. Why would he hurt his comrades?"

The exorcists in the room had trouble not outright staring at Kanda, waiting for him to speak. Kanda seemed to sense this and so remained silent, glaring at Komui's desk as though he could set it on fire through the force of his gaze. Eventually Lavi spoke up, the only one brave enough to face Kanda's wrath, though admittedly the only one that Kanda would quite happily kill for speaking.

"He broke Kanda's arm yesterday when he tried to stop Allen from killing the Noah."

Komui's jaw dropped, giving the assembled exorcists an unsightly view of the back of his throat. "He did?"

"It was an accident. Kanda was holding his left arm and Allen wanted him let go. Kanda's arm broke when Allen tore away." Kanda had obviously been talking to Lenalee while he was having his arm fixed. Komui regarded his sister thoughtfully.

"Then perhaps it is for the best. Allen obviously feels that he's dangerous to be around, so maybe it's better if he's out there instead of here at the Order."

Lenalee seemed to swell in anger. "How can you say that? He's only been out of a coma for a few days; he's half-starved and weak, suffering from some terrible injuries. He nearly died! And you'll quite happily let him wander around ALONE?"

Jim blinked in surprise; he had not seen this side of Lenalee before.

Komui sighed. He knew Lenalee was right, but there didn't seem like there was much he could do about it now. After all, Allen was who knows where at the moment. "What do you suggest?"

* * *

Allen poked his head from the burrow. The wind had settled down thankfully, making the cold that little bit more bearable. As he looked around his surroundings, Allen found himself seriously considering retracing his steps to the abandoned lodge where the ark had dropped him and using it to move somewhere warmer. He quickly discarded that thought. No going back. Walk forwards. That was he had to do now.

He dragged himself from the drift and began walking again. That was all he could do for now.

* * *

"We need someone who would be able to subdue Allen if he went crazy again."

Lavi looked around the room. "I'd say me, but I don't know if I'd be able to. He's my friend; I don't think I'd be able to hurt him. I know I should, if he was doing something that endangered me or others, but still, I need to be honest with you. I don't think I could." Lavi was glad bookman was not present at this meeting. An admission like that would not have gone down too well with the old man.

Lenalee nodded. "I'm the same. I don't think I could bring myself to fight him."

They all looked at Kanda, who had yet to say anything since the meeting had begun nearly a hour before. He shook his head. "I don't think I'd have any problems stopping him, but I do think that at the moment I'm the last person to send." He seemed to realise what he was saying and frowned. "You can't have your best exorcist gallivanting around the world; I need to stay here for missions."

Both points that were made were true, so nobody argued Kanda's decision.

"We need someone that would quite happily fight Allen if given the chance, or…" Jim paused, wondering whether he should voice his next thought.

"Or?" Komui prompted.

"Someone who can go just as nuts."

"Seren."

"Her innocence is probably the only thing that could stop Allen, and when she loses control, she'd have no qualms about attacking Allen."

"But we don't want him dead." Lavi pointed out.

"That's why you should send two people. Seren and someone to help snap her out of it when she does lose control." Lenalee offered

"I'll go." Jim shuffled self-consciously.

"Jim, she almost killed you once! You can't be serious!"

"Actually we get on great now, that fight with Lavi must have really mellowed her out or something. Anyway, we reached an understanding. We'll be fine."

Komui looked doubtful. "Well…" Then he nodded. "Fine. But do you have any idea how to find him?"

Jim shook his head, turning hopefully to Lavi. Lavi looked deep in thought. Eventually he spoke. "Does he have Tim with him?"

"Yes, so you won't be able to use the golem to track him."

"Actually, I can. We need some help from the scientists, but I reckon we could contact Tim and use the signal to find out where Allen is."

Komui looked excited at the prospect of scientific tinkering. "Excellent, let's go!" He dragged Lavi towards the door. "Will one of you talk to Seren about the mission for me? Thank you!"

* * *

"What the hell is he doing in the arctic?"

"God only knows. I'll ask him." Komui turned back to his own golem, hovering patiently at his shoulder.

"Allen, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear Komui. What did you want?"

"Just checking up on you. Can't be too careful after what you've been through lately can we?"

"I guess not. So long as you're not planning to do something stupid like try and get me to come back. I do have a job to do you know." Komui gave a short nervous laugh that Allen caught. "Komui? You aren't, are you?"

"Of course not! The whole point of making you a general was to get more accommodators for the innocence. You can't do that here!" He gave another laugh. "I'm curious though, how many people do you expect to encounter wandering the artic tundra?"

"None." Allen's answer was simple. "I need some time away from people right now before I trust myself to get on with my job. I'm guessing you know why by now." He paused as though waiting for Komui to reply. However the supervisor remained silent, looking worriedly at Lavi, who was standing next to him. "Komui? It's too dangerous, no; I'm too dangerous to be around until I get whatever this is under control. Remember that while to plan whatever it is you're planning."

They heard Allen tell Tim to cut the connection before the only sound through the golem was the whisper of static.

* * *

"Stupid supervisor! What the hell is he planning?" Allen stomped moodily through the snow, the golden golem nestle in his hair. "We need to get out of here Tim, before he sends someone out to drag me back!" The gulls in the far distance suggested he was nearing a fishing settlement. No matter how much he wanted to avoid people, he was tired, hungry and cold. Perhaps he could also get passage out of the damn ice box.

* * *

Seren looked doubtful. "I don't see how I can help."

"Actually, it's no you, per se, it's your innocence. When it takes over like it has done before, we think it's the only thing that'll be able to stop Allen."

"But when that happens, I can't think straight! I wouldn't care who or what I was attacking!"

"Exactly."

The young woman looked confused now. "You want me to hurt him?"

Jim smiled sadly. "Whatever is happening to him, he's still Allen, and we don't think that we'd be able to do what it takes to stop him. Your innocence is the only thing that can do it, _because _it wouldn't care who he was as long as he posed a threat."

Seren shook her head. "I don't think I can help you, it's not safe."

Lenalee scowled, the expression looking out of place on her face. "Unfortunately you don't have a choice. I'd go if I could be sure I'd be able to stop him, but I can't guarantee it. The same with Lavi. Kanda needs to be here to do the missions. So it's down to you and Jim to bring him back. And you better do it! I might have problems hurting Allen, but you, I have no such issues with." The last was said as a low growl.

The blonde girl stepped back in shock. "I understand." She turned to Jim, schooling her pale face to some form of normalcy. "When do we leave?"

Komui grinned happily. "I," he stated impressively, "am a genius!"

Lavi raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Allen knows something's going on, he's not stupid. And he'll know that there's some way to use the communication system in the golems to track him. So he'll already be moving away from his last location, and is unlikely to contact us very often so we can't find him."

"And…"

"So during that call I infected Tim with a tracker signal." He finished with a flourish, pulling a small hologram projector from his pocket. Pressing the large red button, he activated a virtual 3D map of the world, pointing at the pulsing black dot on it. "Allen!" he said excitedly.

Lavi looked impressed. "Wow, that's handy. So what's he up to?"

"Just as I thought, he's trying to outrun us, but with this little gadget, we can estimate where he's headed and send the team to intercept him! Right, let's get Jim and Seren ready. They're off to Norway."

**

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A/N I have nothing to say. Except…woo, gadgets! And yes, I gave Tim a virus. Mwahahaha! Next chapter or two will be up on wednesday probably!

**Much Lovage **

**Rika X**


	34. Tracking

Yes yes, I know I promised this ages ago, but I have been up to my eyeballs in job interviews and application forms

**Yes yes, I know I promised this ages ago, but I have been up to my eyeballs in job interviews and application forms. Seems like an awful amount of effort for a summer job but still. Today I am off to my second interview for a marketing job. Lol, I have applied to be one of the most hated of professions, a saleswoman. **

**Anyways, enough about me…on with the story!!**

**Some months after the last chapter.**

**As ever, I disclaim all ownership. Well except for the things (and crappy OCs) I do own. Obviously.**

* * *

Chapter 34- Tracking

Jim sighed. Again. Seren found herself wishing the fourteen year old New Zealander would keep his thoughts to himself, but unfortunately his troubled state of mind meant his usual tight control on his materialisation parasitic-type innocence was slipping. She coughed pointedly, drawing his attention back from wherever his thoughts had been wandering, and watched as he tried to calm down, to gather his scattered thoughts, and the random items that had sprung into fruition along the road they were currently strolling down faded into nothingness.

"Sorry about that." He gave her a sheepish smile, tugging at the hem of his black turtle necked shirt uneasily, his exorcist jacket, a casual waist-length number with a small amount of white around the bottom and cuffs, flapping open casually in an effort to keep cool.

She smiled softly. "Don't worry about it. I know better than most how easy it is to lose control sometimes." She looked infuriatingly cool in her own ankle length coat, something Jim was extremely jealous of.

Jim laughed lightly. "It's not happened yet!"

"Don't tempt fate!" Seren's smile widened and she flipped the end of her dark blonde ponytail self-consciously.

"It's been…what? Seven months? Eight? You're doing great! I bet your synchronisation rate got higher, so you aren't controlled by your innocence as much."

"That's possibly true, though it won't be very useful if I can't use the uncontrollable side of my innocence when we finally catch up to General Walker."

Immediately Jim's face shut down, his expression turning carefully blank.

"Oh, Jim, I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!" Seren cursed herself under her breath. Over the last few months she had learned not to mention Allen's name in front of her partner.

"It's okay. I just don't get it. How could we keep missing him, we've been following this signal from Tim forever, but they always seem one step ahead." Although Jim could never hate his general, he felt betrayed by Allen's sudden desertion.

It was getting frustrating. No matter how fast they moved, how little they rested, how many shortcuts they took, they could never quite catch up to Allen and his golem, despite the steady tracking signal embedded inside Timcampy.

"He can't avoid us forever, Jim. We'll catch up eventually. And look at it this way, if he's still on the move after all these months, he's obviously in much better condition than when he left."

"I just wish he'd contact somebody. We get all these reports in from finders who have seen him, or from towns he passed through, but he never tries to talk to us any more."

"He's an eighteen year old General who's been through a lot in a short time. He's bound to have some issues. Maybe he just needs to work through them alone." Seren's tone was gentle. She tried to reassure Jim, but couldn't help thinking that Allen had chosen the worst possible moment to develop teenage angst. As an exorcist, much less as a general, Allen couldn't afford to let personal business interfere with the mission, yet he had, and now not only were she and Jim suffering for it, but the whole Order felt the absence of the youngest general.

"How much time though? He can't stay like this forever."

* * *

"Finally, I've been looking for you."

"I'm surprised you managed to find me. I would have thought you'd have given up after our little encounter in India."

"I never give up, and I certainly won't stop chasing you!"

The Noah laughed, throwing back her long hair and clutching her stomach as though Allen had cracked the world's funniest joke.

His silver eyes narrowed. "I don't find anything about this situation funny."

Perdita stopped laughing abruptly. "You're right; In fact I find it rather sad. Don't you exorcists have anything better to do than chase little old me across three continents?" Her honey-shaded eyes were studying him closely. "I must say you're looking much better than you did in India. Have you been working out?"

He offered her a wolfish smile. "I must thank you for the way I look, after all, I have, as you have said, chased you across three continents. It was one hell of a workout."

"You're welcome I suppose. What do you plan on doing now? You don't really think you can beat me do you? Not after what happened the last time we met. How long did that take you to heal?" She cocked her head to one side, as though she was genuinely interested.

Allen flexed his right arm experimentally. "A couple of months. But as you can see, it's fully healed now. Although you did add an interesting new scar to my collection." He rolled up his sleeve, although the material was more hole than coat nowadays, revealing a coiled scar that wound up his forearm from wrist to elbow- the mark of where her whip had caught him, tearing the skin and cracking the bone underneath.

She admired her handiwork. "I like it. It looks even better since you got a tan. You always were too pale for your own good."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't remember you being this chatty before."

"You're growing on me, I like you. Plus I know you haven't spoken to anybody you know in months, I thought it might be nice to have a conversation before you die." She studied a nail, turning it this way and that, ignoring the way Allen's face had changed when she mentioned his lack of contact with the order.

Flushed with anger, Allen glared at her. "And how would you know that?"

"Oh please, you're not the only exorcist wandering the world you know. They're all still out there looking for innocence and fighting Akuma. Not that you'd know about what the Order was doing. They're all under orders to try and detain you if they see you. There's so much talk about the AWOL general. About how much you turned into your master." She watched him closely, knowing the remark about Cross would only provoke him more; she had made the mistake of making such a comment before.

Allen only sighed, he'd come to terms with this small fact after her first comment all those months ago. "Are we done talking? I want to get down to defeating you."

"So changed Allen Walker. What happened to you? I saw what happened to Francesca, did you do that?" She had asked the question before, but had not received an answer. This time however, Allen replied. "Yes, I did it. I shoved my hands into her chest and tore her apart. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Perdita smirked. "Road told me what they had done to you. Fran probably deserved it. Are you going to do the same to me Allen Walker? There was a time you hated killing, again I ask, what happened to you?"

"I grew up." And he charged at her, activating his innocence as he ran.

She leapt back, dragging her whip from her waist as she moved. It caressed Allen's face as he skidded past her, drawing a small line of blood on his right cheek.

"I draw first blood this time, Walker. You can't use the same tricks twice."

He side swept her feet from under her from his crouching position, climbing to his feet as she hit the dirt with a small 'oomph'.

"I don't plan on using the same old tricks on you Perdy" he mocked as he kicked her whip away from her hand as she reached for it, treading on her hand with his heavy boot until the bones gave.

"You little bastard, that really hurt!" She held her injured hand to her chest, flexing it as it healed instantaneously. "It's a good job it's not permanent or I'd castrate you for that!"

He raised his eyebrows. "Threats already? That must have hurt more than I thought."

"Are you going to use your little exorcism sword on me, Walker?"

"Huh?" Allen realised he had been holding his left shoulder unconsciously. Lately the knife wound left by Francesca had been throbbing more and more. Of course, he couldn't let this Noah know about any weaknesses. "No. The only thing that you deserve is death, Perdita dear. And I'll happily give it to you." He waved his razor sharp fingers at her as if in demonstration.

"You can try exorcist!"

"Gladly."

* * *

"What do you think? Should I let you live 'til next time? I kind of like our little meetings."

Allen snarled, trying to wriggle out from underneath her where she was holding him down by kneeling on his chest. He was feeling a little panicked and noticed more than before the difference in capacity between his two lungs. It was getting harder to breathe and spots began to dance in front of his eyes.

"Am I hurting you? That won't do will it?" She shuffled until she was sitting across his stomach, looking at him as though he was a mildly interesting lab specimen or some kind of show animal she was waiting to do an unusual trick.

He leaned up on his elbows, taking as deep a breath as he could without causing himself to start coughing. "I'm not going to let you kill me, Perdita. I won't give up."

"No, I suppose I wouldn't expect anything less from you." She wiped the blood from his face almost tenderly, and then licked her fingers clean, ignoring his disgusted expression. "So what shall I do with you?"

His smile was almost sad. "There's nothing you can do. In fact, there's nothing you will be doing again. Ever." He pressed his fingers deeper into her back. She hadn't even seen him move.

A thin line of blood dribbled down her chin. "Don't be a fool; I'll heal this in an instant."

Allen's eyes turned regretful for an instant before return to the now-usual flinty greyness. Smooth, calm and blank. "You Noah keep insisting your humanity. Humans can't live without their hearts. Face it Perdita, you can't have it both ways. You can't be human _and_ immortal." And with this he ripped his steely talons through the Noah's heart, destroying it beyond all healing abilities. The Noah slumped against him, the blood trailing from her mouth soaking his collar and sticking messily to his neck and clinging to his long hair.

He sighed, partly in relief and partly to help release the feeling of disgust that threatened to overwhelm him. He had done it, finally. Now he was going to have to report back to the Order.

* * *

The finder looked at him warily.

"Dammit, just let me use your damn phone connection!" Allen snapped at the bewildered man. This was General Walker, who had been missing for almost nine months? He couldn't connect this bloody beaten man with the cheerful fifteen year old boy he remembered seeing once at headquarters. Nodding quickly, he showed Allen down the corridor to the phone, beating a hasty retreat when the cold silver eyes turned to glare at him.

Once alone, Allen drew Tim out of his pocket. The golem looked a little worse for wear. Allen gently tugged one of the ruffled wings straight. "Ok Tim, lets pass on the good news." He connected the golem with the phone and put the call through to headquarters, wondering vaguely what the reaction he was going to receive would be.

Komui's voice broke through his thoughts. "Hello?"

"Komui, it's Allen."

There was a ringing silence, then an odd squeal. Allen couldn't tell which of the Li siblings it belonged to.

"ALLEN!" Lenalee's voice cut over her brother's girly screaming. "Where are you? What have you been doing? What were you thinking? Why haven't you contacted before? You have to come home! You've missed so much! And we've all missed you!" There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone. "Allen?"

* * *

Allen, who had moved away from the phone as soon as Lenalee had started rattling off her rapid fire questions and was thinking about his next meal instead of what was being said to him jumped at the sound of his name. Gathering his wandering thoughts he returned to the conversation. "Yes Lenalee?"

"You weren't listening to a thing I said were you?"

"Sorry Lenalee, I'm just tired. Is Komui there, I need to tell him something."

"What, the first contact in months and you don't want to talk to me?" She only sounded half playful.

"Yes. Now is Komui there?"

* * *

Lenalee frowned at her brother. "He won't talk to me. He says he has something to tell you though." She passed the phone over, covering the mouthpiece with her hand. "Try and make him come home, he sounds so tired, I bet he's been pushing himself too hard."

Komui nodded and took the proffered handset. "Allen! Long time no, well anything, really. How have you been?"

"Fine. Look, I didn't call for a chat. The other Noah, the girl with the whip. She's dead."

"What?"

"She's dead. I killed her earlier today. Is there anything else? I'm shattered, I need food and sleep."

"Well actually I think you should come back for a while. Even Cross has been back to headquarters more than you these last few months, and he's only been in once. Personally I think that had more to do with the strippers Lavi had for his twenty-first birthday party rather than out of any obligation to the order, but still."

Allen didn't reply for a while. "I don't know… I'd like to come back, but…"

Komui sighed. "If you don't want to come back, then at least stay in one place long enough for your tail to catch up to you. I'll feel better if you are all together."

"I have a tail? Must be a very good one, I haven't seen anything of them." Allen's voice was slightly mocking, but still with that newly acquired cold, biting edge. It was obvious he wasn't happy about being followed.

Komui's second sigh transferred as static over the phone line. "Don't give me that. I know you knew about them."

"Yeah, I did. I also know about that little signal you implanted into Tim. He's been going haywire for months. You better be thinking about taking whatever you put in him out again, and soon." There was no hiding the growing anger in his tone.

Komui flinched a little. He wasn't sure he had heard Allen speak to anyone with this frosty distant tone before. "Are you going to come home?"

Allen rolled his eyes. "I guess so. Since you're all so worried that I can't take care of myself and all."

He heard Komui and Lenalee arguing about something in the background. "I'll wait two days for Jim and Seren. If they don't catch up by then they're on their own."

"You even know who they are?" Komui sounded very surprised.

"Of course, I'm not stupid."

"May I ask why you avoided them then?"

"No."

There was a ringing silence on the other end of the line, before Lenalee spoke up. "Please wait for the others Allen. I'm worried about you all, I just want everyone to come home safely."

Allen sighed, knowing he was beaten. "Fine, whatever." And he ended the call.

**

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**

A/N Since I love Jim so much, I decided to put my abysmal artistic talents to the test, and drew both him and Seren in their uniforms. Soon to be the only things on my deviant art account, the link to which is on my profile.

**I finally have the end in sight, but getting there is proving difficult. I am an old fashioned soul at heart and my mind insists on handwriting the chapters before I can even get anywhere near my laptop. And what I do write is never in any particular order, so once I have the content of a chapter, I have to put it in some kind of order. And then re-write all the bits with glaring plot holes and blatant nonsense. Bugger. **

**Much lovage anyway!**


	35. Reunion

**Yay, you all love me!! Thankies to everyone who review the last chapter. I know it must be really annoying when updates are slow and sporadic, so thanks for sticking with me, you lovely, lovely people!! And since I've now topped 200 reviews (cue freakish fangirly screaming), I'm providing you with two chapters today. Yes, that's right, TWO!! So don't say I never give you anything. :)**

**Disclaim! Disclaim! Disclaim! Author is poor, and therefore owns nothing but the clothes on her back and the shoes on her feet. And her OCs, but they don't make her any money…**

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Chapter 35- Reunion

Jim looked around cautiously. He had the faintest suspicion that Allen was avoiding them on purpose, and didn't want to be caught off guard, as he was desperate to catch up to the wayward general.

Seren was standing in the doorway of a bakery, trying to choose between the large selection of pastries on display in the window. For once Jim wasn't thinking about food. They were so close to their target, he could almost taste it. Somewhere in this quaint Greek village Allen Walker was hiding, and Jim was going to find him before he ran again.

Once Seren had rejoined him, they set off down the narrow street, weaving in and out of tourists and locals alike, ignoring the pleas and begging of the people crouched in the dark alleyways either side of the main street, while the exorcist's eyes swept the people they passed, searching for oddly white hair or a scarred face.

* * *

Allen watched them pass, feeling both amused and oddly annoyed that they had completely by-passed him in favour of searching the faces of the people walking the street rather than those crouched on the periphery. He re-fastened his unruly hair into a slightly neater ponytail at the base of his neck as he stood, swiping the street-dust from his clothes. The golden golem fluttered anxiously at his side, seemingly confused that its master had let the other exorcists walk by.

"Hush Tim. I'm going to follow them, stop fretting." He attempted to stuff the golem out of sight, but Timcampy was having none of it, flying out of reach until Allen gave up. Then the golem settled itself into Allen's hair, resuming its previously favoured mode of transport. Allen rolled his eyes but didn't shift the golem, and continued down the road, walking just within earshot of his student and the tall blonde girl walking beside him.

"I don't understand it at all. According to Komui's machine, Timcampy's here!"

"We know he's around here somewhere, so just keep your eyes peeled."

"No, I mean _here_. As in, where we are. Exactly."

Seren glanced at the greenish screen that Jim was holding. "Are you sure this thing's working right? I mean, he can't be _here_. We are _here._ It would mean Tim would be with us, wouldn't it?"

Jim looked around. "Well I can't see Allen or Tim. I think this thing is broken. Stupid Komui and his rubbish inventions! I knew we couldn't trust it!"

Allen smirked to himself from the alleyway he had ducked into to avoid detection. As lonely and difficult these last few months had been, he wasn't sure he was ready to go back to the order, no matter what he had told Lenalee. He had been forced to trust his own judgement more times than he cared to remember, had only himself to rely on for months and had managed to get by. In fact that was the problem. He was so used to not having anyone else to rely on; he doubted he could go back to trusting decisions made by others. He was closer to understanding why Kanda had always been so unsociable when they first met. After all, as one of the best exorcist, Kanda spent a lot of his time on solo missions, only relying on himself. Perhaps trusting others became difficult after a while of looking after only yourself. Certainly the reasoning that if nobody helped you, you wouldn't feel obliged to help others made more sense to Allen now. He waited until Jim and Seren had started walking again before creeping undetected from his alley and resuming trailing them.

* * *

An hour passed in this manner, with both Jim and Seren complaining loudly about the tracking screen that was still showing Timcampy's position to be almost exactly where they were, no matter where they moved to.

Allen was still strolling behind them, just out of earshot, a hood pulled over his distinctive hair and his head bowed to shadow his face. Unfortunately, this made him almost unbearably hot, and he knew he would have to reveal himself to the searching exorcists or risk heat stroke. The decision however was taken out of his hands as his left eye whirred into life, signalling the approach of Akuma.

He cast about wildly, searching for the oncoming machines, before spotting them and charging out of the village to a nearby field, hoping to intercept them.

* * *

Jim felt the faint pulse of his innocence, and looked around madly. Seren glanced at him, a small frown on her face. "What is it?"

"There are Akuma nearby, and they're getting closer!" He started running, ducking in and out of alleys until he reached the outskirts of the settlement. He skidded to a stop in a cloud of dust, Seren arriving a few seconds later.

"Jim, look! Is that General Walker?"

Jim squinted in the bright sunlight. "Finally!" He started towards the fight, but was stopped by Timcampy floating in front of his face. The golem projected an obviously pre-recorded message from his open mouth.

"Don't get involved. I can handle this fine on my own. Just stay back and out of my way" holographic Allen told them before the projection ended.

"Don't be stupid Allen," Jim mumbled, watching with trepidation as more Akuma gathered around the general. It was true that Allen didn't seem to be having any difficulty in dispatching the Akuma, for they were only level ones and were moving slowly, making them easy targets for Allen to cut down, but the number was growing instead of decreasing, and if it carried on like this, eventually Allen would tire and be open for attack.

Making up his mind to disobey the order, Jim activated his innocence, creating a wall between the approaching Akuma and the battle currently underway, before charging forwards himself to engage the separated Akuma. Seren was hot on his heels, wielding her axe with terrifying force, razor blades of wind cutting through the bodies of the Akuma like butter.

Jim's wall collapsed as he focused on the Akuma that had now turned their attention to the newly arrived exorcists, ignoring the tiring general for now in favour of easier prey.

Eventually the number began to decline as the sun began to sink across the sky, casting the battlefield in a warm orange glow. Jim was concentrating so much on fighting that he didn't notice the higher level Akuma that were sneaking onto the field, taking advantage of the exhaustion of the exorcists.

Allen was bent double, hands on knees and panting heavily. His hair had come undone at some point and was tumbling loose, obscuring his face with a tangled white curtain. Sweat dripped from his forehead, droplets landing at his feet where they almost immediately dried under the still scorching sun. He too hadn't seen the approaching level threes that were steadily making their way towards him. In fact he was barely conscious, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he sought to control his breathing despite his light headedness. The long months of travelling and the recent fighting were finally catching up with him. He cursed himself bitterly. He'd never admit it out loud, but he knew that returning to the order was the best plan of action right now. He was in need of some serious rest and relaxation.

Later, when he thought back to this moment, he would curse himself even more for dreaming of his room back at headquarters and thinking fondly of Jerry's cooking, instead of paying attention to his surroundings.

Seren however, saw the newest Akuma, and also saw that neither the young boy nor the white-haired general was aware of the latest threat. She began to run forward, trying to place herself between the Akuma and Allen, who, too late, had realised the threat and had turned to attack.

The largest Akuma, which appeared to be loosely modelled on a rather ugly, spiky cannon, fired an equally ugly spiky cannonball towards the shocked general at the same time that Seren swung her axe, unleashing a howling blade of wind that cut down the Akuma that had just fired and it's companions, but was too late to stop the attack that was still speeding towards Allen. Seeing no alternative, she flung herself in the speeding balls path.

It had only taken a matter of seconds from the first move the Akuma had made to when Seren intercepted the attack. Allen watched blankly as the young woman's body became infected by the virus, before gracefully turning to dust and being carried away by the breeze still rolling around the field left over from her attack.

* * *

The remaining low level Akuma were quickly dispatched by Jim, who had not seen Seren's demise. He turned, looking for his companions, and spotting Allen, went to his side.

Allen stared numbly at the spot where Seren had turned to dust, marked now by a pile of clothes dominated by a black ankle length coat. Seren's innocence lay almost forgotten where she had dropped it. As the two exorcists watched, the form of the axe disintegrated, leaving the faintly glowing innocence cube in its place. Allen absently put it into his pocket, his face still stonily blank and unreadable.

_It's just the same. People who get too close to me always get hurt. Why!? Why did she have to do that!? I could've survived that attack! Was I like that? Jumping in the way without thinking? No wonder Kanda always complained about my hero-complex… _Allen sighed, attracting Jim's attention. The younger boy looked up at Allen's tired face, and saw for the first time the effect of those long months travelling alone. The General was only eighteen, but his face could have belonged to someone twice that, and his eyes to someone older still. Jim wiped a stray tear that had escaped as he mourned the fallen exorcist. He and Seren had become close friends during their travels. He wondered how Allen stayed so detached. He turned to the general and opened his mouth to speak, but Allen held up a hand, stopping whatever he was about to say.

"I promised Komui and Lenalee I'd go home. I need to make a full report about the Noah I defeated anyway, but that's the only reason I'm going back to headquarters. You've seen what happens when people come near me. Everyone always ends up hurting. That's why it's better if I stay away." He looked down at the pile of clothes again before running a hand over his face. "We better get going. The sooner we get back, the sooner I can leave again. And if we come under attack again, I expect you to follow orders! Don't get involved."

Jim snorted. "I'll listen to your orders, _General_, when they start making sense."

Allen rounded on the boy. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay the hell out of my way. I won't be held responsible for what happens to you if you insist on getting in my way!" Allen made to storm away, but his legs, much like his pupil, wouldn't listen to his instructions and refused to move. The result was Allen's face meeting the hard packed earth with much more force than he would have preferred, since his arms also seemed to have joined the mutiny. And given that he was already nice and horizontal, with no hope of getting up now his limbs had abandoned ship, his brain decided to jump on the band wagon and shut down as well.

* * *

Jim rubbed his temples. He had managed to haul an unconscious Allen to the finder's base where the general had made the call to Komui from earlier, but now had no idea what to do. He couldn't drag Allen across Europe in his condition, and to be perfectly honest, he wasn't feeling too good himself. How long was it since he'd had a proper sleep? A good meal? He couldn't remember. He also didn't want to call headquarters, and have to break the news of Seren's death, and admit that he now felt useless and panicky, needing someone to tell him what to do. As he sat and fretted Allen came to the door, leaning on the doorframe, arms folded across his too-thin chest. A small coughing fit shook him, and alerted Jim to his presence.

"Are you ok?"

Allen frowned as the cough abated. "Of course. How long are you planning to stay here?"

"You're the boss. I'm just here to make sure you don't escape."

Allen raised an eyebrow, distorting the pale scars on his forehead that had become more visible thanks to his newly acquired suntan. "Overlooking the fact that I'm not planning on escaping anywhere right now, how did you expect to stop me if I did decide to go?"

Jim snorted. "No thanks to you, but my synchronisation rate is much higher than it was when you left. Seren and I did a lot of training as we chased after you."

Allen shrugged. Truthfully he was desperate for any news from the order. There hadn't been a day that went by when he didn't wish he could go back in time and do it all over again. If only he hadn't gone into that Noah's room, or even further back, if he had never willingly walked into the Earl's trap in Prague…of course the list was endless, and no matter what he did, it was far too late to start regretting what had happened so long ago when there was nothing he could do to change it.

Jim was watching him carefully, trying to read the fleeting emotions that washed across Allen's face, but the mask was on too tight, and he could no more interpret the expressions than fly to the moon. "Everyone's really missed you, you know. They've all said it's not the same without you around." Jim cocked his head thoughtfully to on side as Allen hunched his shoulders as though trying to block out his words. "You know, I'm sure you could have worked something out, instead of running away from your problems. The longer you stay away, the harder it'll be."

Anger flashed across Allen's previously emotionless face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. When he spoke his voice was strained and awkward.

"You think I don't know that? You think I haven't wished I had never done any of it? That at any point on this useless trek across the globe I have not wanted to go back and everything be like it was before?" He voice cracked and he swiped at his eyes in anger and frustration. "Dammit, all I've wanted to do was got back to headquarters and beg forgiveness, but it's too late, I've dug my grave now. The only thing left to do is dig deeper."

Jim knew they weren't talking about Allen abandoning the order anymore. He took a deep breath, wondering whether to carry on down this path. He exhaled noisily. "It had healed by the next morning, and there was nothing wrong with it."

Allen's jaw worked a couple of times before he too sighed. "I'm glad." His eyes were so terribly sad, and Jim couldn't help but feel his own heart clench in sympathy.

"Maybe we should stay here a couple of days. I don't know about you, but I'm knackered. I have an idea that'll get us travelling quicker, but I'll need plenty of food and rest before I can attempt it." He didn't add that he knew Allen was in dire need of some rest himself.

Allen nodded once before turning away and making to leave the room.

"I meant it, Allen. _Everyone's_ missed you."

* * *

"This is interesting. You really must have done some training." Allen glanced around thoughtfully, for once sounding like his old self as he ran his hands over the side of the cart.

Jim grinned smugly, reclining back on the fluffy red velvet cushions. When he materialised something, he didn't do it by halves.

Allen watched the innocence-created horse as it moved tirelessly, pulling along the cart that Jim had created. He had to admit, he was impressed. Not only were the manifestations perfectly solid and normal coloured, but Jim didn't seem to be weakened at all by the prolonged invocation. He felt a small pang as he thought that he should have been there to witness his pupil's training instead of running away from his own problems. He pressed his lips together tightly to stop himself from chatting to the young teen. He truly believed what he had said back at the base- he may regret what had happened, but it was far too late to go back now.

Jim tried to doze, but the tense atmosphere and the miserable aura that filled the cart was not conducive to a restful nap. He sat up, glancing around. They were still a way from the port that they were going to catch a boat back to England from, but since their current mode of transport was controlled by his mind, and the horse, not being real, could not get tired, it was not necessary to supervise. Allen had his eyes closed, but looked far from restful, with small worry lines creased across his forehead. He had taken of his coat, resting his head on it, with his shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Jim could see several scars, including a large coiled one up his right forearm that had definitely not been there before this whole fiasco had started. Whatever else Allen had been doing in these last few months, he hadn't been taking care of himself, that was certain.

The sooner they got back to the order, Jim thought, laying his head back down, the better it would be for everybody.

**

* * *

**

A/N OMG, I killed another OC. Bye-bye Seren! The second in as many chapters, and taking the grand total up to 3. MWAHAHA!! But no worries, I can't kill Jim, I just love him too much! Yay Birdie-chan!!


	36. At home and in hospital

**And here you are, the second chapter of the day.**

**Since I have no job, (you would not believe what they wanted me to do when I went for my second interview on Monday…and the job was commission only. Erm, no thanks!) I do not have enough money to top up my mobile phone, never mind own D Gray Man. (My what a long disclaimer!)**

* * *

Chapter 36- At Home and In Hospital

The main doors of the castle clanked open slowly, a harsh grating sound filling the hallway as the heavy doors swung inwards.

Lavi was crossing the lobby on his way to the dining room when the sight of the two figures slumped in the doorway stopped him in his tracks. He made a loud noise of surprise that scared a group of passing finders when he spotted Allen's distinctive white hair, still recognisable despite its newly acquired length and disarray. Jim looked worn out holding up the taller youth. Allen himself was slouched awkwardly, head bowed as he dragged his feet over the threshold.

"Allen!" Lavi almost ran to where the white haired General's side. "Good God, what have you been doing to yourself?" He glanced around. "Where's Seren? Did she not come back with you?"

Jim shook his head sadly. "No, she's-"

"She's dead. She got in the way of an attack and was killed by the Akuma." Allen stated the facts baldly, looking as though he wasn't affected by the death of a comrade at all.

Lavi blinked a few times, looking confusedly between Allen and Jim who was supporting Allen's right side. Jim gave an anxious, twisted little smile, showing Lavi just how worried he was for the man he was holding up.

"Well come on then, let's get you up to the hospital wing. Seriously, you should have your own bed in there; you spend so much time being injured!" Lavi tried to joke light-heartedly with the exhausted general, despite grappling with the loss of a fellow exorcist and friend, as he moved to support Allen's left side. As soon as he touched Allen's shoulder, the younger man flinched away, though he managed to disguise the wince of pain that crossed his face.

"No." He dug his heels in, almost being dragged along as he tried to stand his ground while Jim pulled him in the direction of the medical facility. Allen disentangled himself from his student, his right arm automatically moving to hold his left shoulder. He was able to halt the movement before his hand reached the throbbing joint, but both Jim and Lavi caught it, sharing a worried look.

Allen saw their expression and scowled. "There's nothing wrong with me, I just need to make the report to Komui and then get back to training."

Lavi stared at Allen as though he'd grown a second head. "You can_not_ be serious! You look ready to collapse!"

This comment was greeted with a dark scowl. "I've managed alone these last few months, I'm sure I'll cope now." He shoved roughly past the redhead and stumbled towards the stairs.

Jim looked pleadingly at the older exorcist, silently begging Lavi to do something. With a terse nod in the young teen's direction, Lavi jogged up the stairs behind the slowly moving general.

Lavi laid his hand on Allen's shoulder. "I'll come with you. Gramps is in with Komui right now, and there's something I have to see him about anyway." He plastered a huge and quite convincingly authentic grin on his face as Allen turned to him, which served to disguise his underlying worry.

Allen merely scowled, first at Lavi's inanely beaming face, then turning the death glare to the hand resting on his right shoulder, before snorting (which Lavi took to be consent) and continuing the arduous trek towards the supervisor's office.

Lavi patted the shoulder a couple of times, but on the third pat, he gave the nerve bundle near the base of a completely unsuspecting Allen's neck a firm squeeze, watching with satisfaction as the younger man slid senseless to his knees, Lavi catching his upper body before it hit the floor.

* * *

"He's dehydrated, malnourished, has heat-stroke, got more bruises and small wounds than I can count. At some point his lower right arm was broken and from what I can tell, it was the work of the Noah with the whip."

"The one that Allen just killed? How can you tell?"

"Yes, her. There's a coiled scar around the arm. I think its healed ok; the bones are slightly crooked, but not enough to warrant breaking and resetting them as long as it's not causing him any pain."

Lavi shook his head. "I knew he could be determined, but this is ridiculous. He should have come back when it happened, or gone to a doctor, or _something_!"

Komui sighed. "If he hadn't come home now, I don't think we'd have seen him again. He was on the verge of collapsing. From what Jim told me, if they hadn't arrived when they did and taken on some of the Akuma, he'd have probably been killed. This is the type of stupid stubborn behaviour I'd expect from Ka-." Komui cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, not from Allen."

Lavi smiled wryly. "Speaking of which, when's Yuu due back?"

"Tomorrow or the day after I think" Komui replied flicking through the stack of notes piled high on his overflowing desk.

Lavi sighed heavily. "What a mess. Did Jim tell you about Seren?"

Komui's smile was a sad one. "Yes. From what I gather she jumped in and saved Allen's life. Apparently he was about to pass out and hadn't seen the higher level Akuma approaching. Jim says he didn't notice them either until after Seren had already attacked. Wiped them out, but was caught by an attack they'd already shot at Allen."

"Allen didn't seem too happy about it."

"Oh?"

"Well, with the old Allen, I'd say it was because someone died in the course of saving him, but he seemed so _cold_. Like he wasn't bothered save for the fact that it was an inconvenience."

Komui scratched his head thoughtfully. "Well we don't know what's been going on with Allen since he left."

There was a light knock on the door and Lenalee poked her head through. "Am I interrupting?"

"Lenalee! Back from your mission I see!" The supervisor leapt to his feet, engulfing his little sister in a back breaking hug. Even for Komui, the greeting was a little too enthusiastic. And Lenalee noticed straight away. She looked curiously between her brother and Lavi, a small frown creasing her forehead. Then she noticed the medical chart spread out across the desk, and the frown deepened. "What's going on? What's happened?"

Lavi sunk lower on the couch, and sighed again, leaving the explanation to the supervisor.

"What's going on? Who's been hurt? Whose chart is that?" Lenalee looked anxious, wringing her hands together pathetically as she waited for an explanation.

Komui shot an extremely dirty look at the bookman apprentice showing his displeasure in being given the task. He cleared his throat. "It's Allen's."

"He's back? He really came home like he promised? Where is he? Is he in the medical wing? How are Jim and Seren? Are they ok?"

"Seren's dead. Jim's alright, if a little tired. Allen's in a bad way. He's sedated in the medical wing, he tried to refuse treatment. Stubborn ass." Lavi covered his face with a hand.

Lenalee hid her mouth with trembling hands. "Will he be ok?"

"Of course he will. He just needs some rest and good food. He'll be back to normal in no time."

Lavi looked at Komui. "Do you know what's up with his left shoulder? He nearly ran away when I tried to touch it."

"It's an old injury. He's probably just been over using his innocence" Komui reassured both exorcists. "You'll see, he'll soon be right as rain."

* * *

Allen looked around blearily, trying to work out where he was, but he couldn't focus on anything except the absence of colour. Only one place had such distasteful bland starkly white walls. He groaned inwardly. Hospital. The last thing he remembered was walking up the stairs with Lavi…then nothing. Lavi must have knocked him out. He tried to feel angry, but thanks to the high dose of sedative he had been given, he couldn't actually bring himself to feel anything but extremely warm and fuzzy. He turned his gaze to the ceiling, not feeling as tired as he had earlier, but utterly relaxed and strangely peaceful. Allen opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to work up some form of speech, but his brain was still enclosed in fog and he couldn't manage anything but a soft grunt. Giving up on moving, talking, well, everything really, he allowed his eyes to slide closed as once more he let oblivion take him.

Five minutes later the Li siblings and Lavi walked quietly into the room so as not to disturb the sleeping occupant.

Lenalee attempted to smother the startled gasp that surged from her mouth as she laid eyes on Allen. Even Lavi cringed a little despite already seeing the state he was in. Komui shook his head sadly. "At the moment sleep is the best thing for him. He's due another dose now actually; the last one should have worn off by now."

"Shouldn't he be awake then?" Lenalee asked, approaching the bed cautiously, as though she expected Allen to jump up and attack her.

"Maybe, but perhaps not. His body is exhausted, I wouldn't be surprised if he slept for a while. And even if he did wake up, he wouldn't be particularly lucid; I've got him on a pretty high dose." Komui consulted his notes briefly before leaning through the door and summoning a nurse to administer the medication. "We'll just keep an eye on him until he gets a bit stronger and take it from there." Nodding politely to the nurse currently feeding a syringe of sedative through the IV in Allen's right arm, Komui turned and left the ward, leaving his sister and Lavi still staring morosely at the deathly figure in the bed.

Finally Lenalee sighed, patting Lavi on the back lightly. "Let's go and see Jim, I bet he's feeling miserable right now."

Lavi nodded. "I can't believe Seren's gone. She's only been an exorcist for a year."

Lenalee agreed, a small sound that could have been a sob catching in her throat. The redhead slung an arm over the girl's shoulders. "I know it's sad, but please don't cry Lenalee. It was a dangerous mission anyway. If Seren hadn't done what she did, we might not have got Allen back at all."

* * *

They knocked softly on the door and were greeted a few seconds later by a very wretched looking Jim. His hair, though clean, was unbrushed and the usually neat blond waves hung matted and unkempt around his face. His eyes were hollow and accompanied by a set of very impressive bags. He smiled when he saw who his visitors were, moving away from the door to let them in, closing it behind them with a dull snap.

"Are you alright Jim?" Lenalee settled herself on his bed, folding her legs beneath her and inviting the young exorcist to sit next to her. Lavi sat on the floor facing them.

Jim dredged up a smile from somewhere. "Just about."

Lenalee gave a sympathetic smile. "I know how you must be feeling. It was hard when the first of my friends here died."

"I just wish I could have done something, but I was worse than useless, I didn't even see the Akuma 'til it was too late."

"I hope you aren't going to blame yourself for Seren's death. There was nothing you could have done; you were too busy fighting your own battle."

"Hmm." Jim leaned into Lenalee's hand that was now unpicking the knots in his thick hair. "How's Allen?"

"Rough. But it could have been a lot worse. Some forced bed rest will sort him out in no time." Lavi grinned, trying to reassure the boy.

"Forced? I guess Komui is keeping him asleep then?"

"Yes. It was that or tie him down."

Jim chuckled tiredly, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the relaxing sensation of Lenalee's hands untangling his hair. "That sounds like Allen. He can be quite stubborn at times."

"Jim…" Lenalee's hands stilled momentarily, causing him to open his eyes and look at her curiously. "Did Allen seem…different to you? While you were travelling back I mean."

Jim gave a small twisted smile, and related the conversation he had had with Allen at the Finder's base to his shocked audience.

"He couldn't really mean that, could he?"

"He was deadly serious. I do know that he wants to go back to the way it was before he left, but it was so long ago, and he's really changed. I just don't know f it's possible any more."

Lavi shook his head furiously. "No matter what he says, I know the old Allen's in there somewhere. We just need to persuade him to come out." He slammed a fist into his opposite palm. "We'll have to help him as soon as he's string enough to get around."

"You'll have to persuade him to stay first. He's determined to leave as soon as he's able."

Lenalee looked thoughtful. "Maybe he doesn't want to change. He might be happy as he is now."

Jim shook his head. "No, I saw it in his face, no matter how much he tried to hide it, he was so sad when he was talking about home…and the people here."

"You mean Kanda." Lenalee clarified sagely. "Well that was just one giant misunderstanding. It wouldn't be the first time that lack of communication caused some mix up to happen between them. Honestly, those two! It's a good job they have each other, because no one else would be able to cope with them!"

"So what are we saying? To get Allen back to normal and keep him around, we have to get him and Kanda back together?" Jim asked, looking a little confused.

Lavi's grin turned slightly evil. "That, my dear Birdie-Chan, is exactly what we're saying."

**

* * *

**

A/N Oh, alright, more like one and a half chapters. Got a few things to do over the weekend so expect the next update in about a week. Or maybe longer since I haven't started chapter 37 yet. Hides from random sharp objects and rotten fruit lobbed in her direction I'm sorry!!


	37. OPeration GATKA

**I am all depressed now cos I got a series of very (perhaps overly) polite, pseudo constructive reviews that were, for all their 'niceness' pretty nasty in their own way too. I don't usually mind people commenting on what I write, either positively or negatively, but these hit me pretty hard. Maybe I'm just being sensitive in my old age. Emos in a corner I got flamed!! Any who, since I use already 'overused plot devises' in my 'mediocre' writing, boring people with my excess of 'angst and misunderstandings' the next chapter or so will be a little more light hearted. **

**I don't own it!! **

* * *

Chapter 37 Operation GAKTA

The minute Kanda arrived back from his mission he was pounced upon by an extremely hyperactive Lavi, who dragged him away towards Lenalee's room, where said girl and Jim were waiting patiently.

"What the hell are you playing at?" Kanda tried (and failed) to shake the redhead off him. Lavi had even cunningly clamped both of the Japanese man's arms to his sides so he couldn't reach for his sword. "I don't have time for this, you idiot! Let me go now! When I get my hands on yo- why are we going to Lenalee's room?"

"Wait-and-see-ee." Lavi sang, pushing the other man ahead of him through the doorway. He shut the door quickly and locked it to prevent Kanda from escaping.

"Hello Kanda." Lenalee greeted him politely from where she sat on the bed. Jim was sitting on the floor near her feet, leaning back against the bed frame.

"Lenalee." Kanda offered by way of greeting. He rounded on Lavi, completely bypassing Jim in his anger. "Now how about you tell me exactly what's going on before I give Lenalee's room a new coat of red paint?"

"Calm down Yuu-Chan, and we'll explain everything. There's really no need to get violent!" Lavi held his hands up in surrender, backing away as far as he could in the small room.

"Well?" Kanda's irritation rose a few notches, a vein beginning to tick above his eye.

"We just need to ask you one simple question." Jim leaned his head back on the mattress and closed his eyes.

Kanda scowled at the figure on the floor, trying to remember why Jim's presence was important… _Ah yes. Allen. Did that mean they'd found him?_ "And that question would be?" The scowl had softened slightly, at least the tick has subsided. A little.

"Do you still love Allen?" Lavi asked, looking Kanda straight in the eye. Kanda managed to maintain the eye contact, but couldn't help the blush that dusted his face, although he would tell himself later that it never happened.

"What does it matter? Allen made his feelings clear nine months ago."

Jim shook his head sadly. "We're going to lose him, Kanda. He's still there, physically, but he's not the same anymore."

"And? That's hardly my responsibility."

Lenalee jumped to her feet and sapped Kanda across the face, leaving a livid red hand print. "And you're happy with that? You'll happily watch while he becomes someone different, someone that's not Allen?"

"No." Kanda's reply was barely above a whisper, but they all heard it. "I don't want that, but I don't see why you've come to me with this. I'm nothing to him any more. I know that's it's mainly my fault, but that doesn't change the facts." He was speaking to Lenalee, able to convince himself that if he didn't acknowledge the presence of the other two males in the room, then he could pretend they weren't there.

"He needs you, just as much as you need him, Kanda. We can't bring him back. You can, I know it."

_How she can say such things with a perfectly straight face is beyond me…_ Kanda rubbed his temples with a sigh. Before the conversation could get even more embarrassing (for him), Kanda excused himself (with a scowl and vague grunt), slamming from the room in a huff.

* * *

"I think we embarrassed him a little." Jim chuckled, though he still glanced around, as though expecting the angered exorcist to jump out at him, brandishing Mugen.

Lavi had no such qualms, and roared with laughter. "Did you see him blush?" He was obviously being very loud, for the sound of something being sliced in two carried even through the heavy wooden door.

"I hope that wasn't something valuable!"

"With any luck it was one of your brother's ridiculous robots."

They all paused for a moment, all silently praying that Kanda had just indeed met with the latest (now hopefully _late_) Komurin.

Finally, Lavi spoke up again.

"We need a name for ourselves" he announced cheerfully. Both Jim and Lenalee looked at him warily.

"I don't think that that's really going to be necessary Lavi…"

"Nonsense, of course we need a name!" Lavi fell silent, giving it some serious thought.

Jim gave Lenalee a nervous look. She shrugged in reply, giving him a small shake of her head. There would be no deterring Lavi now, the only thing they could do was come up with something themselves that would be far less ridiculous than anything the hyperactive redhead was bound to come up with.

"I've got it! We can be the 'Beansprout and 'U' Taskforce To Rectify Allen's Mistake'!"

Jim stared at him. "What?"

"Lavi, you know that it wasn't all Allen's fault, I don't think that's very fair. And I know Kanda won't be happy that you shortened his name, his _first name_, which he hates you using, to a single letter."

Jim made a small noise. "You do realise that the acronym for that is B.U.T.T.R.A.M.?"

Lavi chuckled. "Of course, and I think it's a perfect name when it comes to those two. But if that's a no, how about the 'Beansprout and 'U' Taskforce To Maintain and Uphold Normality Concerning Headquarters?'"

"Aside from the fact that that makes even less sense than the first one, I refuse to be part of group labelled 'B.U.T.T.M.U.N.C.H." Jim shook his head in disbelief.

"Lavi, can you really not be serious for once? This is absurd! I propose, if we absolutely _have_ to have some sort of name, that we be called G.A.K.T.A."

Lavi looked at Lenalee like she was crazy. "GAKTA? What on Earth does _that_ mean?"

"Get Allen and Kanda Together Again, of course!"

Lavi huffed. "At least mine were imaginative."

"Sure, if you read 'imaginative' as 'ridiculous beyond belief'!"

* * *

"So…" Jim looked at his companions. Lavi was still in a huff about his suggestions being vetoed and had vowed not to get involved with any further mentions of operation GATKA. Lenalee and Jim, however, knew that this stroke of good luck (because the less Lavi was involved, the better, to be quite frank), would not last very long. Jim almost dreaded asking the next question. "How are we going to do it?"

Lavi looked at them both rather sheepishly. "I hadn't really got that far to be honest."

"Why doesn't that surprise me in the slightest?"

The redhead gave a small, self-depreciating chuckle. "You can't expect me to have all the answers!"

"It was your idea!" Lenalee exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "Who else would we expect to have the answers?"

"Well one thing's for sure, we can't throw Kanda in there and expect the magic to happen…" Jim said slowly. "The state of mind Allen's in, he'd probably throw a fit."

"We need to talk to him. Get him out of his funk, before we can even try to get him back with Kanda." Lavi slammed one fist against the open palm of his other hand.

"Will it be that easy? Maybe he won't want to get back together? We can't force it" argued Lenalee.

Jim shook his head sadly. "He does want it, I know he does. When we were talking back at the finder's base, I could tell. He's so sad, but he's convinced himself that it's okay not to feel anything, because then it won't hurt when something goes wrong. He didn't even flinch when Seren was killed, and it happened right in front of him."

"Should we go and see him? Komui has lessened the amount of tranquilisers he was on, he might be awake now. Maybe if we can just convince him to open up more…" Lavi sounded doubtful.

"Alright, we'll give it a go. I hope this works. I hate seeing him like this."

* * *

Allen blinked woozily at his visitors. "What are you doing here?" He blinked again. Where was here? He went over the last few things he remembered, a frown trying to make its way onto his face, but held at bay by the still respectable cocktail of drugs Komui was pushing into him. He drew a blank, and turned expectantly at the gathered exorcists.

"You're in hospital, Allen. Back at the order. Do you remember what happened? Jim brought you home from Greece." Lenalee provided softly, seeing the confused expression on his face.

The frown that had been trying to take over his face won the battle it was having with his medication. Voices swirled through his foggy mind, and he gripped his hair tightly with both hands, trying to bring the jumble of memories into order.

_He heard himself, snapping at Jim through a pre-recorded message on the golem, warning others to keep their distance. It was always safer that way…_

"_**Don't get involved. I can handle this fine on my own."**_

"_**People who get too close to me always get hurt."**_

"_**You've seen what happens when people come near me. Everyone ends up hurting. That's why it's better if I stay away."**_

"_**If you know what's good for you, you'll stay the hell out of my way!"**_

"_**Everyone's missed you, you know." **__Jim, trying to reassure him. Why would he bother? It wasn't as though Allen actually cared what the others thought._

"_**The longer you stay away, the harder it'll be**__." But it was already impossible to go back to how it was. A little extra time was neither here nor there any more. It was already far too late._

"_**I've dug my grave now. The only thing left to do is dig deeper." **__It was a morbid thought, but one he clung to with desperate fervour. _

"_**I meant it, Allen, Everyone's missed you." **__Jim said it again, but it held deeper meaning than the simple sentence pretended to carry._

"_**Where's Seren? Did she not come back with you**_**?"** _Lavi, sounding uncharacteristically serious. He wasn't supposed to care, but there was true concern in his usually brash voice. Why did the Bookman sound so worried when he, Allen, couldn't find it in himself to care at all?_

"_**No, she's…"**_

"_**She's dead." **__Was that HIS voice, so dead and cold?_

"_**I've managed alone these last few months, I'm sure I'll cope now." **__He didn't need anybody else, because he couldn't risk them needing him. It was better to be alone, it hurt less that way._

Because sometimes it was better to feel nothing at all.

"Allen?" Lenalee tentatively laid her hand on the young General's shoulder.

His head snapped up, hands falling from his hair and fixing her with an anguished gaze. She looked into his glazed eyes, moist with unshed tears of pain and felt her own eyes begin to fill. But the suffering look held in his eyes was gone in an instant, hard cold shutters slamming down behind them, instantly turning them bitter, brutal and blank.

"I'm fine. Everything's fine."

"Don't lie! Allen Walker, don't you _dare _lie to us! To me! I know that it's not fine. Nothing's been fine since you went to Prague! We've been so worried about you! And then you ran away! How did that help anything?"

Allen's frown hardened. "I solved my problems in my own way. There was nothing wrong with leaving. I was doing my job and protecting the people of the order."

Lavi snorted something that sounded a little like 'bullshit', crossing his arms and leaning on the wall with an ugly sneer on his face. "That's a crock of shit, Allen, and you know it. The only person you were protecting was yourself. You weren't thinking about anyone else when you stormed out. Did you even think about us once while you were away? Just once did you spare a thought for those you left behind?" He snorted again. "Of course not. You just stopped feeling all together, that way you wouldn't feel guilty, feel responsible, if something happened!"

Allen blinked in surprise, the cool mask slipping fractionally, revealing something of the insecure young man hiding there. "Don't you think you're becoming a little too involved with this, Lavi?" he asked mildly, hitting the Bookman where it hurt the most.

Lavi's face closed off. "You're my friend, Allen, and God knows I want to help you before you do something that nothing can fix, but so help me, you aren't making any of this easy."

"It never is easy, Lavi. You should have learned that by now." Allen's voice was soft, a wistful look on his face. For a moment the old Allen peaked through. "It's too late now. I'd hoped you'd all realised it by now. There's no going back for me."

"Asshole." Jim spoke for the first time since entering the room. "So you've given up. Everything you ever told me, it means nothing now? I looked up to you, but if you've become a quitter, I'm not sure you are the type of person who deserves that kind of respect."

Allen's regretful smile turned sad. "That, Jim, is one thing you really don't have to remind me about. I know what I've become, I've accepted it. You all need to do the same. The old me isn't going to be coming back, and as soon as I have healed sufficiently, the new me will also be leaving."

"You really have given up. Not just on yourself, but on all of us, all of your friends! Do we mean nothing to you any more? What have we done to deserve this? You think you're punishing yourself, but you're really punishing all of us! How could you do this to us, Allen?" Lenalee grabbed him by the collar, forcing his face into hers as she shouted. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the sheet, not meeting her piercing gaze. She dropped him suddenly in disgust. "If this is what you've become, then you can't heal fast enough. It'll be better once you're gone again."

Lavi looked vaguely shocked at Lenalee's cold outburst, watching as she stormed from the room. He turned back to Allen, who looked a little flustered, straightening his collar and studiously looking anywhere but at the two remaining exorcists. "She's right, Allen. You've shut yourself away, you don't feel it, but you're still hurting everyone else. How is this any better than how it was before?"

Lavi patted Jim on the shoulder, guiding the younger exorcist from the room.

Allen watched them leave, a mix of emotions dancing across his thin pale face. He put his head on his knees, wrapping his arms around them. He didn't cry, but he was close. "You're wrong, Lavi. It hurts me too. But it's too late." He repeated his mantra again and again. "It's too late."

Kanda leaned back against the wall outside Allen's room, listening through the door that Lavi had left ajar. "Damn Moyashi. It's never too late, if you really want to change."

**

* * *

**

A/N I honestly think I was high. BUTTRAM? BUTTMUNCH? Dear Lord, save me from myself!

**Well, it was supposed to be more light hearted, but it kinda just became 'lets have a bash at Allen day' instead. Oh well. Ya still love me? Right? RIGHT?!**

**Now hold onto your knickers people, I know it's short, but you'll be getting another chapter soon. Like tomorrow soon. Maybe even (le gasp) a chapter everyday this week. I'm feeling nice like that. BUT!! It'll mean that this'll all be over shortly. Like less than two weeks shortly. sob**


	38. Answers

**I'm suffering from the dreaded writer's block, which means getting this chapter out (despite nagging from a certain person- you know who you are!!) was really difficult. Especially since I was attacked by the plot bunnies and wrote 'Lavi's 21****st****' as well. GO READ IT!! It's a side story one shot telling the happenings at Lavi's 21****st**** birthday party…the one mentioned in 34 with Cross and the strippers….it needed to be told.**

**So basically (don't hurt me) this chapter is about what happened in the order while Allen was away, and answers the question everyone's been bugging me with. **_**What happened to Gregory?**_

**And no, I don't own!! **

* * *

Chapter 38- Answers

"It's worse than I expected." Lavi dropped his face into his hands and sighed noisily.

Jim let his head hit the table with a dull thud. The sound was muffled in the crowded dining hall, but it drew Lenalee's attention from where she sat studying her knees thoughtfully. A frown marred her pale features. "What are we going to do?"

Her question was greeted by silence. Nobody knew the answer to that.

* * *

Kanda scowled. First at the wall, then the floor, before directing his gaze at the ceiling. It didn't give him any satisfaction however, so he turned over, burying his face into the pillow with a soft growl.

He was having a hard time connecting the lost and disconsolate image of Allen hugging his knees in the hospital wing with the strong, self assured young man he once knew.

No, that was wrong. He knew better than anyone that anything, big or small, affected Allen in some way. He might have toughened a little over the years, but beneath it all, he was till the soft hearted, naïve boy that had entered the Order nearly four years ago. It seemed so much had happened in that time.

Kanda's hands curled into fists as he pounded the mattress. God! He was so stupid, letting Allen walk away like that. He knew Allen would run, he'd done it himself after all, but still he hadn't tried to stop him. And he'd had nine long months to wonder why. To this day he hadn't found the answer. It had just taken him 'til now to realise that it was going to be something he would regret forever if he didn't do something about it.

_**

* * *

**_

Nine months ago (cue whirling flashing lights- IT'S FLASHBACK TIME!)

"_Why can't I go?" Kanda crossed his arms and if it wasn't Kanda speaking, one would perhaps say he was sulking. But of course, Kanda doesn't sulk._

_Komui pushed his glasses up his nose, preparing to trot out the well prepared speech informing Kanda just why he couldn't go off on a wild goose chance following his lover around the globe. Again. He was saved from repeating the argument, however, as Kanda stood abruptly, all traces of sullenness gone. He gave the slightly stunned supervisor a curt nod. "I understand" and then he swept from the room._

_Looking back, perhaps Komui should have realised nothing good could come of such a quite, controlled exit made from the usually violent exorcist._

_Kanda slammed his fist into the stone wall outside Komui's office, splitting the skin on his knuckles. The pain helped to clear his head, allowing his to think properly again. He was furious. Well beyond the normal anger and irritation he felt day to day when confronted with the usual annoying occurrences within the order. Kanda was livid. There was, in his mind, only one thing that would help him feel better._

_And the ironic thing was, it was going to be the very thing he stopped Allen from doing._

_He slammed the door to the Noah's cell room open with more force than necessary, effectively warning the prisoner just how pissed he was._  
_The Noah looked up expectantly, his face perfectly healed and not showing a sign of the damage that Allen had inflicted on him just a day before. Kanda's arm was similarly healed. Something he was glad of because of what he was about to do. He closed the door behind him with a sharp snap._

"_Didn't take you long to come running back to me." The Noah was sneering cruelly. "Your boy-toy only left yesterday and already you've come crawling back to my room. What can I do for you Kanda?"_

_Kanda crossed his arms to stop him from simply grabbing his sword and slicing the Noah in two right there and then and be done with it._

"_I would like to see your real face for once. Or are you too ashamed to show me?"_

_Gregory cocked his head on one side, weighing his options carefully. If Allen was gone, then there was nothing to be gained by imitating him any longer. And Kanda had come back to him…_

"_Alright, if that's what you really want, darling. I'd do anything to please you, you know that."_

_Kanda flinched at the pet name but otherwise did not answer, jus standing silently, leaning against the door frame. Waiting._

_Gradually the Noah began to transform. The white hair faded to a dark brown, the scar on his face that Kanda was so familiar with faded as the pale skin of the face darkened to a much more tanned pigment. The well-known silvery eyes turning a liquid amber gold that was so similar to the Noah's usual colouring that Kanda knew even in his 'light' form, this man would be shouting 'Noah' with those eyes. The false innocence arm returned to a normal flesh one. "Is this enough for you Kanda, or do you want more? Do you want to see the real me?" Without waiting for an answer the Noah continued his transformation, his tanned skin losing all pigment and turning a dull slate grey, and those already golden eyes becoming more pronounced. Gregory's soft brown locks turned the darkest of blacks a barely-visible line of crosses marking his forehead, covered by the inky hair, and suddenly, he looked a whole lot more threatening._

_The Noah stood and stalked towards Kanda, swinging his hips in a most effeminate manner. "So, you like what you see?"_

"_I think I do." Kanda unstrapped the sword and lay Mugen down on a table, but he didn't release his hold on it just yet. Instead he leant back against the edge of the table, crossing his ankles and running his eyes suggestively up and down the mincing Noah's form._

_Gregory gave a low chuckle. "Does Allen really mean so little to you?"_

"_You seem so intent on putting me off!" snapped Kanda viciously. "If you are so against this, I'll leave!" He snatched Mugen off the table and made for the door. A grey hand on his shoulder stopped him and he turned back to those deep golden eyes. "No, I'm sorry. Stay, please."_

_Inwardly, Kanda smirked. The Noah did seem rather desperate. Outwardly he just relaxed the frown a little and laid his innocence on the table once more, still not removing his hand from it, but Gregory didn't seem to notice._

_The Noah pressed himself flush against the exorcist. "I shouldn't be doing this" he muttered under his breath, but Kanda still heard him._

"_No, you shouldn't. But neither should I, so it's ok, isn't it? We both heal so quickly, no one will realise a thing."_

"_Mmm." The Noah agreed softly, rubbing himself against Kanda like a happy kitten. Kanda smirked again, this time letting it onto his face since the shorter man couldn't see it. He pressed himself closer to the Noah, feeling utterly disgusted with himself. But needs must and he needed to get close to the Noah without him suspecting anything. Raising Gregory's chin with one hand, with the other he groped for a firmer hold on the sword behind his back, and as he slid it silently from the scabbard, he kissed the Noah firmly, drawing his attention away from what the other hand was doing._

_When he was sure the blade was free, he broke the kiss, looking down into the lust filled, half-lidded gaze of the Noah. He leant in again, as though to give Gregory another kiss, but instead turned his head to one side, towards the Noah's ear. "You were right. You shouldn't be doing this." And he drove the blade through his own back, activating it as it pushed through his body, and sent it straight into the Noah_

_Gregory reeled back in horror and shock, clutching the bleeding wound in his stomach. "You'll pay for that, you bastard!"_

_Kanda scoffed, pulling the blade free from his own body. The wound began to heal instantly. The Noah's seemed to be taking longer. "Innocence is your weakness, it is not mine" he said as he saw the confused face the Noah was making as he studied the twin wounds._

"_I'll kill you for that, exorcist!" Gregory snarled, dropping his hands from his wound and extending both his hands into identical blades. "Now we finish this. Maybe once you're dead, I'll take your image instead!" And he charged forward._

_Kanda didn't laugh, but if he had been someone else, he might have done. He stood gloatingly over the fallen Noah. While it was true they were both injured, it was the Noah who was much worse off. It had become apparent very early into the battle that fighting was not Gregory's forte. As it was, the battle had only lasted fifteen minutes. Kanda sighed minutely, allowing his sword to drop fractionally, but still keeping his guard up and his eyes fixed firmly on the fallen Noah._

_He was interrupted from applying the finishing blow by an insistent pounding on the door._

"_Yuu-chan! Open this door now! I don't know what you're doing in there, but get out, now!"_

_He ignored the voice, Lavi's voice and raised Mugen once more to finish what he'd started._

"_Kanda! Please! The Grand General's are coming, and if they catch you in there with the prisoner, you'll be in big trouble!" Greta, the supervisor was there too. Kanda tried to block out the voices, still gripping the sword tightly._

"_Oh, he's not going to open the door! Let me!" Lenalee. She was going to knock the door down. Wonderful. Abso-fucking-lutely wonderful. He'd have to get this over with quickly He turned the blade sideways, not bothering to use an innocence attack and swung the blade, severing the Noah's head just as the door broke and three people piled into the room._

_There was stunned silence, until finally Kanda spoke._

"_Heal that."_

_**Later that day.**_

"_I'm sorry Kanda. It was all I could do without them sending you off on some suicide mission. And…" he interrupted what Kanda was about to say, "I know you'd say it wouldn't be one for you, and normally I agree, but when they want someone gone, they have ways of making it happen."_

_Kanda nodded slowly. "Fine. For how long?"_

"_A couple of weeks, maybe more. They won't want to lose you, you're one of the best, but they need to make it look like you're being punished for it. You have to understand. They considered the Noah an important prisoner."_

_Kanda scowled and huffed a little, but didn't say anything._

"_So, it's house arrest for an indeterminate amount of time. All meals will be provided and consumed in the room, and bathroom visits will be supervised. I think that covers everything. Dismissed."_

_Kanda stood silently, not really wanting to go, knowing there was a guard waiting outside the office to escort him to his room and make sure he stayed there._

_Komui saw his slight hesitation. "If it helps at all, Kanda. We all would have done the same thing, given the opportunity. I don't think you've done anything wrong, and I know most of the order agree, if not all."_

_Kanda responded with a tight-lipped, almost smile before leaving the room._

_**

* * *

**_

Aaaaand back to present…

Those few weeks as a prisoner in his own bedroom had been tough, but it had shown him just how much of what Komui had told him was true. He had received so much support from the rest of the order, he had felt, dare he say, vaguely warm and fuzzy every time he had received a pat on the shoulder as he was passed in the corridor on the way to the bathroom, from random people he had never spoken to before. Apparently their support overcame their fear for him. And for once he found he didn't mind.

He stood outside Allen's hospital room, slightly hesitant. _Well, if the damn Moyashi has given up on his old relationships, it was time to built new ones. _And with that he pushed through the door.

* * *

"We can't do this with just us three! We need to recruit new members!"

"Lavi, just who is going to want to help us get Allen and Kanda back together?"

"We do."

"Apart from us."

"I'm sure loads of people will. We all know how nice Yuu-chan was when he had Allen to…um…"

Jim rolled his eyes. "You can say it Lavi, I'm not THAT innocent!"

"I was actually saving Lenalee's sensibilities!"

"Fuck, Lavi. We all know how nice Kanda was when he Allen to _fuck._ Geez!"

"Lenalee!" Lavi exclaimed, thoroughly horrified

"Um… I've only known Kanda really after he was with Allen. _How bad was he before?!_"

"Birdy-chan, you really do not want to know."

**

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A/N and there we go. goes away and emos writing is getting harder!! Now go and read Lavi's 21

**st****!! Go! Now! hehe**


	39. Chapter 39

**I'm having a good day today and hopefully that means that this chapter will be better than yesterday's sad attempt. Pfft, yeah right.**

**Sorry, I did say this would be up a couple of hours ago, but I fell asleep.**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep doing this?**

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Chapter 39

Kanda stopped in the doorway, suddenly unsure. He realised unexpectedly charging in without giving Allen any warning could be dangerous, but then again, he was trying to get a reaction out of the young general. Even an attack would be preferable to this listlessness that had settled over him since he had woken up confined to the hospital wing..

However, Kanda wasn't attacked. He wasn't even acknowledged. Allen was asleep. Breathing a sigh of relief (and feeling only slightly guilty for it), Kanda took a seat next to the bed and let his eyes wander over the prone form lying there.

The clean white shirt he was dressed in made the newly acquired tan stand out more, the short sleeves and gaping collar showing where the sun-exposed skin met the usual pale tone. Only his innocence arm appeared unchanged, for the 'new' Allen, with long hair, tanned skin and far more scars than he had left with, both inside and out, was completely different to who he once was. Kanda couldn't help but think that even if they repaired their relationship, it wouldn't be the same as before. Perhaps not better or worse, just…different.

He was too thin, Kanda noted, and he still looked pretty worse for wear, despite the care and treatment he'd been getting now he was back at the order. Not to mention the amount of food he'd put away whenever he was conscious long enough for his stomach to demand feeding.

_Damn Moyashi_ he grumbled under his breath while debating whether to leave and try again later or sit and wait for him to wake. While he was still weighing his options, he fell into a light doze, which made up his mind for him.

* * *

It was dark when Kanda finally opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the gloom. The sound of shifting sheets drew his attention back to the bed. Allen was still lying on his back, but his face was turned towards his visitor. His silvery eyes were liquid in the darkness, reflecting the meagre light offered by the moonlight slanting through the partly shaded window. Allen was watching Kanda with eyes only half focused. He hadn't seemed to realise Kanda was now awake and watching him too.

Even someone like Kanda lost control of their actions once in a while, and it had taken everything the Japanese man had to bite down the soft gasp that clawed up his throat and restrain the twitching of his arms as they moved of their own accord, longing to hold Allen once more. Luckily his training paid off and he managed to keep perfectly still under that gentle silver gaze.

Still not realising the object of his study was awake and watching him, Allen allowed his eyes to wander freely over the body he knew so well. A gentle smile tugged at his mouth as he observed the familiar cross-legged and –armed position the dark-haired exorcist was sitting in, the ever-present sword that was as much part of the other man as Allen's own arm, clutched tightly to his chest.

His intense study moved onto Kanda's perfectly sculpted face, roaming hungrily across his features until their eyes locked. There was no hiding the fact that Kanda was awake- even in the darkness his eyes glittered like the deepest oceans.

Smothering a gasp that still managed to escape in the form of an oddly choked gurgle, Allen's eyes widened fractionally as he realised he'd been caught, and a very faint blush erupted over his nose.

Kanda blinked and uncrossed his limbs, readying himself for what he was about to say, but Allen beat him to it.

"What are you doing here?" The tone was polite and mild, but slightly cold, and carried a thinly veiled warning.

Kanda could have sworn, that just for a moment, his heart stopped beating as he watched the previous warmth fade from Allen's eyes as the blank shutters came down and blocked him out.

The moment earlier had been brief and not all that eventful, but it had shown him that the old Allen was in there somewhere. It was just going to take Kanda longer than he thought to coax him out again.

* * *

"So, Miranda, Krory, are you in?" Lavi gave the other exorcists a conspiratory wink.

The older couple gave each other a doubtful look.

"Lavi, perhaps it's better if we don't interfere. It is their choice after all." He patted Lavi on the shoulder and made to move away, the German woman in tow, but Lavi's next question stopped them both in their tracks.

"You do realise that Yuu's not going to get any nicer while he and Allen are…separated?"

Both older exorcists couldn't suppress a shudder. Lavi used the fact that the others had their back to him to his advantage, grinning darkly. He was winning, he could feel it.

"Come to think of it, Komui's forcing Allen to stay here for a while, and Kanda's just got back from a_ long_ and difficult mission…" Lavi's grin, if it were possible, got even wider, but vanished quickly as Krory turned to face him. Miranda seemed frozen in shock.

"Kanda's probably only going to get worse having Allen so close, yet so far away…" Lavi trailed off, his hand across his forehead in dramatic fashion. Luckily, Krory did not seem to notice Lavi's hammy acting. Lavi glanced at Krory's stricken face, feeling the rising glee. Just one more…

"In fact…"Lavi said, as though struck by the sudden though as he moved in for the kill. "…he'll probably be ten times worse than ever!"

Miranda fell to the floor, sobbing a little as she curled into the fetal position, hugging her knees. Krory gripped Lavi's hands in his own. "Anything! We'll help! We'll do anything to help!"

Inner Lavi gave a small victory dance._ Perfect._

* * *

Lenalee blinked imploringly at her brother. "Please, you have to help us! Anyone can see that it needs to happen! Everyone's so miserable!"

Komui dabbed at his eyes beneath his glasses dramatically. "Of course, if my dear sister wants it doing, I'll do it!"

Reever sighed. "Supervisor, you have so much work to do, you can't afford to slack off!"

"Slack off? SLACK OFF!" Komui was now screeching in a most unbecoming fashion. "Anything for my sister is NOT slacking off!"

Lenalee smiled. "Of course it isn't, brother." She turned to the section chief. "And Reever, I'm surprised at you! Don't you care about Allen and Kanda's happiness?" She gave him the full effect of her (faked) teary violet eyes, adding a little pout in there for good effect. She was dimly aware of her brother fainting in the background from cuteness overload, and from the assorted gathered scientists several 'awww's were heard. She blinked furiously to make some of the fake tears spill out over her cheeks.

Reever rolled his eyes, not at all taken in, but knowing he was beaten. "Sure, we'll help you."

"Thank you!" Lenalee beamed around at everyone, the tears now miraculously gone. "I'm counting on you to make sure that no new robots come from this." With a parting wave, she left the scientists alone, wondering how the other's recruitment drive was going.

* * *

Jim ducked behind a pillar, his heart racing. He'd very nearly walked into General Cross. After what had happened the last time he had come face to face with the Red-headed General, Jim was sure he didn't want to be caught alone with him. The end result was likely to be very painful. And not for the older man. God only knew why that man was stalking the order. He peeked around the corner and got his answer. The lecherous General had his arms around a distraught General Cloud and a very smug look on his face. The Blonde woman was sobbing into his chest. Jim could faintly hear the words.

"Am I such a bad general?" She fisted her hands in the man's coat. "Why does this always happen to me?" The sobbing increased and Jim ducked back around the corner, his heart clenching horribly. She was talking about Seren. Dammit. Jim closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the cold wall.

"It's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done."

Jim frowned, Cross sounded…nice. Almost too nice…

"But if you really want me to it to you, I know a few perfectly deserted rooms that…OUCH!"

Jim suppressed a chuckle as he looked around the corner again to see Cross sporting a bloody nose. Of course he wasn't really trying to comfort the female general.

"Thank you." Cloud said softly, shaking her fist. She must have hurt it hitting Cross.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Cross replied, dabbing at his nose with a lacy hanky.

"I know you could have dodged that. I feel better now. Thank you."

Cross didn't reply, but waved airily over his shoulder as he walked away from Cloud, in the opposite direction that Jim was hiding in.

The boy gave the blonde general enough time to compose herself before he turned the corner.

"James! What a surprise! Are you well?" The ever polite woman greeted him. He bowed respectfully. "Yes, thank you." He straightened and looked her in the eye. "I am sorry I wasn't able to help save Seren. There were just too many Akuma, it was all so confused…" he trailed off awkwardly.

She placed her hands on both of his shoulders. "You have nothing to apologise for, but I thank you anyway." She made to leave but he grasped her sleeve suddenly.

"Is there something else I can help you with?"

"Well, actually…"

* * *

"I would have thought that was obvious Moyashi." Kanda saw the small flinch at the use of the nickname and smirked. Maybe, if he wanted to rebuild the relationship, he should start from the beginning. Which meant going back to snappy arguments and insults.

"I thought I'd asked you not to call me that anymore. I do have a name you know" was the sullen response. Then there was small roll of the eyes. "BaKanda." It was almost a whisper, but the other man caught it. Instead of commenting however, he merely re-crossed his arms and legs and summoned a glare, which he then directed at the younger man hunched rigidly on the bed.

"In answer to your earlier question, idiot, I am obviously sitting with you. We all know you have a tendency to do something stupid."

Allen huffed, refusing to look at the man. Kanda's smirk grew. "Though how much trouble something like you could cause is likely to be hardly any trouble at all."

There was a spark of something in Allen's eyes as he turned to face the dark-haired man, giving him a hard stare that would have pinned a lesser mortal to their seat. But the it was gone. The spark, the fire, whatever it had been died, the shutters were back. Allen sighed, almost regretfully. "I gave my word I wouldn't go anywhere. I hardly need a guard." His voice was as dull as his eyes, betraying nothing.

Kanda's smirk faded, and the glare intensified, but he didn't say anything. He'd done enough today, he had to be patient. Heaven knew what would happen if he pushed the white-haired man too far too soon. He stood abruptly. "Well then, since I'm not needed, I'll take my leave."

Allen stared at the door as it closed, leaving him alone in the dark. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, lying back on the mattress. As he did so a solitary tear escaped his eye and ran across his face and onto his pillow. But it was the only one that he let fall that night.

* * *

"So, report. Miranda and Krory said they'll do anything to help." Lavi grinned in accomplishment, looking at Lenalee, who had a similar grin on her own face.

"All of the science department will help us as well."

"How did you manage that?" Lavi seemed genuinely surprised.

"You know my brother; he'd do anything for me!" She fluttered her eyelashes bashfully, but at the same time unleashed a demonic giggle that didn't match it.

Lavi chuckled darkly. "You scare me sometimes." He frowned suddenly. "Why is Jim not back yet?"

The words were no sooner out of his mouth when the youngest exorcist barrelled into the room, gasping for breath.

The others looked at him expectantly, but the only sound Jim made was the panting as he tried to gather his breath.

Eventually Lenalee prompted him. "Well?"

Jim gave a dark grin, and flopped back on Lenalee's bed like a contented cat. "I just got the general's to sign up."

**

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A/N Oh dear, short, titleless and crap. Whatever will we do? It just can't go on like this! Sobs in a corner And the countdown to the final chapter begins…

**Not done this in a while…REVIEW!! Pleases? Puppy dog eyes**

**LOVAGE!**


	40. KAKA

**Author can claim no ownership.**

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Chapter 40- Stage one- KAKA

"Let's visit Allen, see how he's doing today," Lenalee suggested. "My brother told me yesterday that he can be released tomorrow."

Jim seemed somewhat cheered by this news. "That's great. I'll bet he'll get better in no time once he's back with everyone. Being confined to a bed is bound to be boring."

"So, Birdy-chan" began Lavi, ignoring the by now half-hearted protest that his name was Jim, dammit, and just because he came from New Zealand, it did not automatically make him a species of bird, brown and flightless or otherwise, "are you going to tell us how you managed to get our illustrious Generals to join BUTTRAM?"

Lenalee swelled furiously. "We are NOT called BUTTRAM!"

Lavi just laughed and nodded in a way that made it clear that he was just humouring her. "So? How did you get them to sign up to our most noble of causes?" he prompted, turning to face Jim again.

Jim sighed. "I wasn't planning on it at all, it just sort of happened." He settled himself more comfortably on Lenalee's bed. The girl's room had become the default headquarters of their little group, since Lavi shared a room with Bookman and Jim…well Jim was a typical fourteen year old, and Lenalee had no desire to conduct meetings among unwashed socks and steadily mouldering food. For the sake of her health and her sanity, she had agreed to let the meetings be held in her room, despite her companion's constant worry that they would be discovered by her brother.

Jim started his story, folding his arms behind his head as he lay back, gazing at the ceiling self-consciously. "I was heading down towards the training room to see if there was anyone I could convince to join down there, when I nearly ran into Cross hitting on General Cloud."

Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Poor Cloud. That's the last thing she needs right now- she's so upset about what happened to Seren."

"Well actually, I think he was doing it to cheer her up. He let her punch him in the face."

They al paused to allow their brains to digest this.

Cross, being nice? Personally Lavi thought Jim was giving the lecherous general too much credit, but before he had time to further question Jim's sanity, the boy continued.

"I waited 'til he had gone and went to talk to Cloud, say how sorry I was about Seren. Then she said she knew Seren would be happy knowing she had died helping Allen and how glad she'd be that he'd returned home." Jim shook his head. "I don't know if that's true or not. I got the impression that she really didn't want to bring Allen home. Maybe she thought that if he stayed away from" _Kanda_ "the Order and more time out there" _with her_ "she'd have a chance with him again."

Lavi scoffed. "Not to be disrespectful, but that girl had no chance."

"Well anyway, I don't know how it happened, but we were suddenly talking about the plans that we had for Allen and Kanda, and then General Tiedoll walked past…"

Ah, there wasn't really any need to say more. They all knew about Tiedoll and his father complex towards his students, and it seemed that when it came to Kanda, this feeling escalated to a Komui-Lenalee like obsession.

"In the end, Tiedoll bullied Cloud into agreeing to help, and he also said he'd get Cross involved. Though I doubt THAT could ever turn out well, but it is for Allen after all, maybe he'll pull through for his sake."

Lenalee agreed, though she too looked unsure. "Well it can't be helped I guess." She stood, smoothing out her uniform as she did so. "Shall we go and see Allen now?"

Lavi looked at the time. "It's nearly one, let's go and grab some lunch first, and maybe we can take Allen something up with us later."

Jim's stomach heartily agreed with this idea, rumbling loudly and causing the boy to flush furiously.

Lenalee shook her head, knowing she was beaten the parasitic boy's appetite. "Alright, I guess another hour won't make much of a difference."

* * *

It was like a one sided staring contest. Kanda kept his stony gaze fixed on the back of Allen's head, while Allen absolutely refused to turn over, directing his own scowl at the opposite wall and trying to ignore the other man who was steadily burning holes in his head with the sheer force of his glare.

Neither had spoken in the two hours since Kanda had arrived that morning.

Another fifteen minutes passed in tense, uneasy silence, until Kanda sighed gently and relaxed a little. This was getting them nowhere. He was stubborn himself, but this was ridiculous. He was going to have to be the bigger man and cave first. At least he'd won the staring competition.

Distractedly, he pulled his hair free from its ponytail, running long fingers through the dark tresses, using the simple motion to calm himself.

"It's grown really long now."

Kanda glanced up and met Allen's previously averted eyes and found he was smirking without really thinking about it. "Yes, time tends to do that."

The white haired man's eyes hardened briefly, but the expression passed as soon as it had appeared, to be replaced by a slightly mocking smile and a flash of fire sparked in the depths of his silver eyes. "You know, I had noticed that." He twirled a lock of his own long hair in his fingers. "A lot of things grow in time." Allen's own smirk turned slightly suggestive.

Kanda's eyes widened in surprise. This was not what he had been expecting from the cold hearted exorcist. "Yes, lot's of things do. But it turns out that you aren't one of them."

It was a step forward, Kanda thought. They might never get back the intimacy they once had, but their once famous, barely acknowledged friendship? If that was what Allen was happy with, perhaps he too could live with that.

Allen released his hair that he had still been absently twiddling with a sigh, one that expressed so much sadness and weariness. "Why do you keep coming here?"

This caused Kanda to pause, thinking over his options carefully. Tell him the truth? A partial truth? A lie? No, that would never work. Lies had only helped them get into this situation, and more would only add to their problems.

He cleared his throat, knowing how pathetically soft this was going to sound. "I'm here because I want to be. With you." He rubbed his nose in an unconscious gesture of nervousness. "There was a time when I thought of us as 'forever'. Lots of things have changed since then, but that is one of the few that haven't." His inner stoic warrior cringed at the clichéd declaration his mouth was making without really consulting his brain, yet despite the delicate flush tickling his cheeks, he managed to keep looking Allen in the eyes.

Allen however bowed his head, a blush of his own staining his face. "Please leave."

"What?"

"I want you to go. Please." Allen kept his face hidden in his hair, and Kanda wondered whether he was hiding tears as well. When Allen spoke though, his voice was level and firm and showed no sign of distress. "Please, just go."

"Alright, I'll go. But I'll be back tomorrow, and again, and again, until you stop being such an idiot!" Kanda stood abruptly, his loose hair spilling over his shoulders and down his back. "You might have given up" he snarled, pausing at the door, one handle gripping the handle tightly, "but I haven't given up on you." And he slammed the door closed behind him.

Allen stared dumbly at the door in shock before bringing his legs to his chest and hugging them tightly, resting his forehead on his knees. It was only when his face was completely hidden, cocooned in his body that he allowed the tears to fall. He had been fighting against them for days, and suddenly he couldn't find it in himself to do it anymore.

* * *

Lavi opened the door awkwardly, his arms over flowing with food. He pushed the handle down with his elbow and used his backside to shove the heavy hospital door wide open. Jim crowded behind him, trying to shove the redhead through into the room, with Lenalee almost jumping up and down over his shoulder trying to see what the hold up was.

After a brief pause and a dreadfully heavy silence, Lavi strode fully into the room, dumping the plates he had been balancing onto the wheeled table sitting at the bottom of Allen's bed.

"Allen, what is it?" He sat beside the young general, who was still curled in on himself, safe behind the wall of his limbs. Gingerly, Lavi put his arm across Allen's shoulders, causing the other to jump in surprise- he hadn't heard his visitors arriving.

He looked up at the worried face of the Bookman junior. Lavi put a cool ink stained hand on his forehead. "Are you okay? You feel a bit too warm." He tactfully ignored the only partially dry tear tracks still visible on Allen's sun-darkened face.

Allen shook his head violently. "I'm fine. Just worn out I guess."

He did look tired, thought Jim critically as he moved closer. Despite the healthy tan, there was still a faint greyish tinge to his skin, and heavy bags under his eyes. He didn't even seem to have the energy to keep his mask in place anymore.

Lenalee moved towards the chair that Kanda had left at the bedside and went to sit down. It was only as she put her hand on the chair to make more room to sit that she saw the white hair tie lying innocently on the seat. She looked up and saw Jim's worried eyes watching her curiously. Silently, she held up the hair tie, which the other two immediately recognised as the one that usually confined Kanda's ponytail.

Jim winced, closing his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again he saw that both Lenalee and Lavi had made the connection between Allen's current state of mind and the presence of Kanda's hair tie.

Lavi's expression darkened and he hugged Allen closer, his mouth one angry line and his eyebrows meeting in a sharp 'v'.

"Lavi? I can't breathe" Allen mumbled, trying to pull away from the redhead's death grip.

"Sorry Allen." Although Lavi didn't sound, or look, for that matter, sorry at all as he released Allen.

If Allen was surprised or confused by the use of his real name, he didn't show it, just settling himself back on the pillows, face still a little purple from being suffocated.

"So…Kanda came to visit did he?" Lenalee asked innocently, twisting the hair tie around in her fingers. The motion caught Allen's eye, and as soon as he saw what the girl was holding he closed his eyes and turned the other way.

The other three looked at each other, their expressions identically troubled.

Lenalee stood, gesturing to the others. She put the hair tie back down on the chair and started to move away. "We can see you're tired. We'll see you tomorrow when you get out of here, ok?"

Allen mumbled something in response, still facing the other way.

Lavi shook his head, his face still showing some of his previous anger. "Yeah, can't wait to see you out and about at last Moyashi-chan!" If he had hoped to get a response to the resumed use of the dreaded nickname his was sorely disappointed. Allen remained motionlessly facing the opposite wall, not even acknowledging Lavi's statement, never mind the derogatory name.

Lenalee and Lavi left the room, leaving Jim standing awkwardly by Allen's bedside.

"Look Allen. Whatever he said, I know he never meant to hurt you. You should give him a chance." As he turned to leave, he spotted the abandoned hair tie lying on the seat that Lenalee had just vacated. With sudden inspiration, he picked up the stray elastic and laid it on Allen's bed, near his hand. "You need to remember that it's okay to rely on others sometimes, Allen. We're all waiting for you to decide you need us again. Some of us more than others." With a last parting look, Jim followed Lenalee and Lavi out of the room.

* * *

The door to Lenalee's room was slammed open and a furious-faced Lavi stormed in. "How could he?! He said he still loved him, but he still managed to upset him! Stupid, rude, antisocial cold bastard!" He snatched up a pillow and proceeded to pummel it before a smack around the head reminded him that he wasn't in his own room and perhaps destroying Lenalee's property in a fit of rage would not be the best idea.

"You don't think you might be jumping to conclusions?" Jim said as he closed the still gaping door behind him. "Allen's extra sensitive at the moment so maybe something Kanda said just hit him a little hard. I know he can be a bit abrasive, but he does care for Allen under it all."

But even Lenalee looked doubtful. "I don't know Jim. Back when Allen first arrived at the Order, Kanda was the only one he didn't get along with- they were always arguing, and sometimes it got physical…" she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders in a dejected manner. "I don't know what we should do."

"I do." Lavi was still fuming. "Allen's all emotionally weak at the moment; he can't defend himself when Yuu starts an argument."

"So…?" Jim didn't see where this as leading, and judging from the bewildered look on Lenalee's face, neither did she.

"We need to keep Yuu as far away from Allen for a while. At least until he gets back to normal."

Jim frowned, not at all liking where this was going. He turned to Lenalee, expecting her to argue against Lavi's plan, but to his surprise, she actually looked like she was considering it.

"Oh, come on, you can't be serious! I thought the whole idea was to get them back together, not keep them apart!"

"There's no point in getting them back together of they go on to kill each other straight away. We should keep them apart long enough for Allen to realise what he wants. Then actually reuniting them will be a piece of cake!" The old Lavi confidence was back in all its glory.

Jim sighed, defeated. "Well, if you think it's for the best, I suppose. But how on earth do you plan on doing it?"

Lenalee was the one who answered. "We have the whole Order on our side. It'll be easy to find someone to keep Kanda busy, and you can keep Allen out of his way."

Jim let out a small sound which could easily be called an 'eep' of surprise. "Why me?"

"It needs to be natural. You're his student, it's only expected you should be spending time with him. Kanda can't see us around him too often, or he'll get suspicious." Lenalee stated it all very matter of factly, as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

With another shake of his head, Jim reluctantly agreed. _This can never end well…_

"Excellent!" Lavi rubbed his hands together gleefully. "Operation Get Allen and Kanda Together Again, stage one, Keep Allen and Kanda Apart has begun!"

**

* * *

**

OO I actually have nothing to say. Well, no worries, I wont prolong the agony much longer. Um…two chapters left? Something like that…


	41. Chapter 41

**It's all getting very exciting (for me) I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! **

**Yeah yeah, Rika no own, it's very sad, boo hoo. Now on with the story! Giving you a longer than my average crap chapter today, so be nice!**

* * *

Chapter 41

"As you can see, we've called you all here for the first whole group meeting of G.A.K.T.A. This is because stage one of our operation is ready to be put into action."

There were several sarcastic eye rolls of joy and some mocking cheers from the less enthusiastic members of the audience.

A few people, including Komui, who had got very into the whole idea, and an overly emotional General Tiedoll, leaned forward eagerly, waiting for Lavi's next words with baited breath.

"Stage one- K.A.K.A." Lavi paused dramatically for effect, looking around the room at his audience impressively before some very impatient spectator lobbed a golem at his head to encourage him to continue. Needless to say, Lavi took the hint and moved on quickly. "K.A.K.A, or Keep Allen and Kanda Apart is out new top priority."

'Here we go,' thought Jim, counting down in his head _3…2…1…_

The dining hall exploded in chaos. "WHAT?!"

* * *

It took nearly half an hour to calm down the incredulous members of the Order gathered in the dining hall. During which time, several tables had been upended, three wall sconces torn down and the snack food provided by a very eager Jerry (who had taken no persuasion whatsoever to join the group) was littered about the place.

Eventually, when some measure of order had been re-established, Lavi took his place once more on the table near the hatch (which somehow had stayed firmly on its four legs) and began to address the congregated members again.

"It has been decided, that because of Kanda Yuu's extremely…aggressive personality, the he should be…encouraged to stay away from Allen, since Allen's a little, um, unstable right now." He paused again. "We all know what their relationship was like when Allen first arrived at the Order. The last thing anyone needs is it to go back to even half as bad as it was back then."

Komui was nodding vigorously, remembering the repair bills that resulted from Kanda and Allen's little conflicts. "I fully agree!" He nudged Reever, who was standing reluctantly next to him. When the Australian section chief didn't speak up, Komui did it for him. "Reever seconds the motion."

"What motion exactly is that?" a finder near the back piped up.

"That we keep Kanda busy until Allen has fully recovered." Lenalee gave them all a winning grin.

"Keep…Kanda…busy…" Krory repeated slowly, just in case he had misheard.

"Yep!" Lavi bounced on the balls of his feet happily.

"Isn't that a little, um, dangerous?" Miranda asked hesitantly.

"Naw! It'll be fine! Jim's going to stick with Allen to help him avoid running into Yuu-chan, and all we have to do is keep him away from where they are. It's really simple actually!"

"Well, first things first. I need to go and give Allen his final check up. You stay and make the plans like good little people. Jim, with me!" Komui practically skipped from the room, dragging a very worried looking Jim behind him by the collar.

* * *

"So…" Komui seemed to be talking more to himself than the other occupants of the hospital room. A nurse was disconnecting Allen from the IV stand and removing the last of his bandages as the supervisor completed the final checks.

Jim stood of to one side, a slight frown on his face. There was something different about Allen today, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He waved the thought away; it was giving him a headache. It would come to him eventually.

"So?" Allen prompted, his hand automatically reaching up to his left shoulder. The nurse shifted his hand gently and began re-strapping the joint quickly and professionally.

"It looks like you're healthy enough to finally leave the hospital wing!" Komui snapped the file he had been studying shut with a sharp snap and beamed at Allen.

"Finally, I can get back to training!" Allen immediately flung his legs over the side of the bed and moved to stand, only to be stopped by the file hitting him in the face. It fell to his lap, revealing his stunned face as it dropped.

"No! If I hear you've been pushing yourself, I will personally see to it that you are back in this bed before you ca say Akuma and this time, you will be strapped down."

Allen glared mulishly at the supervisor. "What, no exercise at all? I'll never recover."

Komui thought this over briefly. "Alright, some light training. LIGHT! You can do more as your body mass increases. But take it slowly. Jim is going to be your constant companion and he'll report to me if he thinks you are over doing it." With a final satisfied nod, Komui left the two exorcists alone in the company of the nurse, who smiled pleasantly and passed Allen a clean uniform.

"I bet you're glad to get rid of him!" joked Jim as Allen got changed behind a screen.

The nurse gave a small giggle. "Well I won't miss his stomach, that's for sure!"

* * *

"So, Allen, you're finally a free man, what do you want to do first?"

Before Allen could answer, his stomach gave a loud gurgle. Jim's responded a moment later, the pair of organs sounding like they were holding a conversation of their own.

"I guess that takes care of that decision. Well, do you want to eat down in the canteen? It's coming up to lunch time, so it might be a bit busy…"

Allen grunted. "I'd rather stay away from everyone today."

Jim nodded in understanding. "Sure, I'll go down and bring us something. Where do you want to eat?"

Allen thought for a moment. He had vowed long ago that he would never step foot in his General suite, knowing what had happened in there, but his old room had also for a time been Kanda's room, and while he did not doubt that Kanda had moved out by now, he wasn't sure if he could just move back in, with all the memories it contained.

Jim saw the conflict on his General's face and was sure he knew the cause of it. With sudden inspiration he out his hand on Allen's arm, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"If you want, we can eat in my room."

Allen's relief and gratitude were almost palpable, and for a moment Jim was sure he saw the old Allen shine through. "Thank you Jim. I'd like that."

Grinning madly inside, outwardly Jim just nodded. "Though you might not say that when you see the state of it!" he laughed.

Jim led the way to his own room, showing Allen inside.

"It's not so bad," reassured Allen when Jim apologised for the mess, but inwardly he cringed. He had never owned enough possessions growing up to be an untidy child, and with Mana he had always been on the move, and so had not had an opportunity to have a bedroom to mess up. And life with Cross…a faint tremor ran through him that luckily Jim missed as he had been gazing helplessly around the room, unsure where to start.

Cross hated mess of any sort, on anything or person. Allen had learnt this the hard way while he was under Cross's tutelage.

Allen turned to Jim and dug up a smile from somewhere. "It's fine, really. You go down and order some food, I'll wait here." _And clear up._

Still looking unsure, Jim nodded slowly and backed out of the room, deftly avoiding the teetering piles of debris and shutting the door gradually so as to not set of a chain reaction of destruction that would likely as not bury Allen for good.

As soon as his student had gone, Allen rolled up his shirtsleeves and removed his gloves, tucking them safely in the waistband of his trousers. _Time to get to work…_

* * *

Jim strolled unhurriedly down the corridors. He knew Allen was a bit of a neat freak and hoped that, given enough time, his room would be returned to some semblance of Order by the obsessive-compulsive general.

He found himself thinking about Allen's attitude. He was slightly different towards him than he had been on their journey back from New Zealand a year ago, but that was to be expected, they had both changed after all. But even today, Allen had seemed more friendly and open with him, and at one point he was sure Allen had been about to smile. So what was so different today? It couldn't just be that he had been discharged from the hospital could it? He didn't think so.

A frown creased his forehead as he thought deeper. What was different? There had to be something…

Well, he was back in uniform for one thing, but no, he had noticed it before that…

He had looked healthier, there had been more colour in his face, not that ghastly greyish hue from yesterday…but that couldn't be it either…

His hair. It had been tied back. With the hair tie that Jim had put on his bed yesterday. Kanda's hair tie. That was it, that was what had made the difference.

Jim smiled smugly to himself. He didn't agree with Lavi and Lenalee's plans one bit, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure stage one failed.

Not that it looked like Kanda needed any help. He was doing fine on his own.

Jim eventually arrived in the dining hall and made his way to the hatch. He suddenly realised that he had no idea what to order for Allen, never mind what he fancied to eat himself. He stood dumbly, leaning into the kitchen, waiting for Jerry to come and ask him for his order.

When the exuberant chef waltzed up to him, he simply said "Allen and I are really hungry."

Jerry's face lit up madly and he immediately disappeared into the depths of his kitchen, looking happier than Jim had seen him in a long time.

Jim leaned against the nearby wall, preparing himself for the wait and looking around for someone he could coax into helping him carry what was sure to be a mountain of food. As he searched the crowded dining hall for a likely-looking target he heard a couple of scientists waiting at the hatch discussing their part in KAKA. Jim cocked his head on one side to hear better.

"After Komui's finished making him help carry his experiments to the new store room, I have to get him to re-arrange the crash mats in the training room. I have to go and find him soon, it's nearly my shift."

The other scientist laughed. "Well good luck with that. It's not my turn until tomorrow."

Jim smiled wickedly. So Kanda as going to be in the training room this afternoon was he? He was interrupted from his plotting by the call that his food was ready. He grabbed the first finder that was passing and roped him into helping him carry what was indeed an indecent amount of food back to Allen and what was hopefully a now spotlessly clean bedroom.

* * *

Allen dusted his grimy hands off and surveyed his student's room in satisfaction. E could now actually see the floor of Jim's room and all his clean clothes (although there hadn't been many of those) were neatly put away. All the dirty ones had been sent to the laundry and the green and festering pizza that had taken up residence under Jim's bed had been thrown out with relish. _Honestly, a few of the scientists would have killed to come and study those organisms_ thought Allen as he swept the remaining dust into a neat pile after making the bed with freshly laundered sheets. He had just finished throwing out the dust when Jim pushed open the door, accompanied by the amazing smell of Jerry's very best cooking.

The young exorcist and the finder dumped the food on Jim's desk, and all the while Jim was studying his room in barely concealed amazement (the finder had hurried from the room as quickly as he had arrived). He had suspected Allen would take it upon himself to tidy up a little, but this exceeded his expectations.

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble!" exclaimed Jim as though he had never expected Allen to clean up.

"It was no trouble," Allen said, flushing a little in embarrassment. He hated the fact that he couldn't help but clear up after people.

Jim grinned and motioned to the food. "I had Jerry cook all your favourites. I thought this afternoon we could go down to the training room and do a bit of sparring? I know you want to get back to training as soon as possible."

Allen looked up, his mouth full already, so he merely nodded, but his eyes were shining with excitement at the prospect.

Jim turned so that Allen couldn't see his smirking face. This was going to be perfect.

* * *

"I don't think you're really trying, Allen," goaded Jim, all the while keeping a look out for Kanda's arrival.

Allen scowled. "Why so brave all of a sudden? I hope it's not because you think you can beat me."

Inwardly Jim rejoiced. This was the Allen he remembered. He grinned happily and tried to drop a piano on Allen's head, in an attempt to get him angry. He needed to get himself injured so he could escape when Kanda arrived.

Allen rolled his eyes, lightly sidestepping the instrument. "Really Jim, I'd have thought you'd improved a little! Two tonne anvils and pianos? Show some originality, please!"

Jim was getting frustrated. Allen was openly mocking him- he hadn't even invocated yet, but Jim hadn't hit him once.

Over Allen's shoulder, the young exorcist saw the door open and Kanda slip into the room. Even from this distance he could see the angry expression the Japanese swordsman was wearing, although it cleared a little when he saw who was in the room.

Allen had noticed nothing.

Deciding quickly, Jim suddenly charged the white-haired general, hoping Allen would punish his recklessness. His wish was ranted. As he approached, Allen activated his innocence and knocked Jim aside, sending him sliding across the floor and into the wall.

It wasn't a hard enough knock to seriously injure him, but Jim decided to stay down and pretend to be unconscious. He winked at Kanda before closing his eyes and playing dead.

Allen rolled his eyes and prepared to leave Jim where he lay spread-eagled at the base of the wall, when he caught sight of the other exorcist leaning casually against the doorframe.

"Now is that any way to treat your student?"

Allen backed away as Kanda stalked closer, until he was pressed against some of the gym equipment with nowhere to go.

Kanda came to stand in front of him, somehow managing to loom over him despite the fact they were almost the same height.

"Well, this training session's over, so if you'll excuse me…" Allen made to move away, but Kanda's arms either side of him prevented him from leaving.

They stood in silence, Kanda studying Allen's face while the younger man kept his gaze fixed firmly on the dusty floor.

Reaching up and brushing away some unruly hair that hung over Allen's eyes, Kanda spoke, breaking the silence at last. "And you said my hair was really long. You look like an old woman, Moyashi."

Allen huffed. "At least I have enough sense to cut it when it starts getting in the way." He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the sensation of Kanda's hand which was now running through the hair that had escaped the tie, and ghosting over his cheek. He could feel his resolve (which had never been that strong when it came to refusing Kanda's touch) slipping away, so he purposefully removed Kanda's hand and started to walk towards the door.

A light tug on his loose ponytail stopped him before he took two steps.

"Is it in the way now?" Kanda asked, giving the snowy locks another gentle tug.

Allen turned to him, eyes wide and slightly scared-looking. He opened his mouth to respond, but no sound was forthcoming. He nervously wet his lips and suddenly Kanda couldn't take it any more.

Using Allen's hair as a handle, he pulled the startled young man towards him, wrapping his arms around him and crashing their mouths together in a rough demanding kiss.

Allen struggled half-heartedly against the hold, but found he didn't actually want to get away. So he gave in, completely.

With a low moan of defeat, Allen allowed Kanda's arms to pull him in closer, closing his eyes and entwining his own arms around the other man's neck, loosing his hands in the fall of dark hair.

When Allen opened his mouth, Kanda plundered it with his tongue, savouring the almost forgotten taste of the other, letting out a soft groan as he did so.

Suddenly Allen's eyes flew open and he stumbled back. Kanda let go in his surprise, staring at him through half-lidded eyes.

Without saying a word, Allen turned and ran.

* * *

Several hours later Jim found Allen sitting in a corner of the dining hall, pushing some food around with a fork, but not eating anything.

"Are you ok?" The boy sat down next to him, taking the fork from his hand and helping himself to whatever Allen had been messing with on his plate.

"I'm fine." Allen sighed, pulling his hair free from the tie and running his hand through it wearily. "There's something I need to do. Will you help me?"

* * *

Allen was waiting for him in the clearing where he trained. As he stood in front of the tired-looking general, Kanda found his hair tie, the one that he had accidentally left in the hospital room being offered back to him. He had noticed Allen wearing it earlier, and was now curious as to why it was being returned. The wind rustled through the trees and suddenly he understood.

Kanda's jaw dropped open. "Why?"

"It kept getting caught on things." Allen self-consciously ruffled the back of his newly cut hair. "I just wanted to apologise. I should never have let that happen earlier. This is not how I wanted it to turn out, but it is for the best." He waited for Kanda to take the white elastic from him.

"You are an idiot! It doesn't work like that! One person cannot decide to end a friendship! It takes two to build a relationship, and one person cannot break it! You might have decided to stop caring for us, but who the hell are you to decide we stop caring back?" The black-haired man sighed heavily. "Take it from someone who knows. You can't get through life alone. Nobody was meant to. And as much as it pains me to say it," here he grimaced slightly, "we aren't just friends here at the Order, we're family too. And you're stuck with family, no matter what." He looked at the hair tie still being proffered. "Keep it." Turning to leave, all thoughts of training now forgotten, he spoke again. "I've meant everything I've said to you. I still love you, but if you want to end it, you need to tell me, otherwise I won't give up."

He left quickly, not wanting to look at Allen's confused face any longer, so he didn't hear the softly spoken words as he hurried from the forest.

"I love you too. I'm sorry."

**

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**

A/N Gah! I can't help it! Again with the angst! Now I only have one more chapter to go and perhaps an epilogue… but how should it end? Hmmm… evil grin You'll have to wait and see, won't you?

**LOVAGE!**


	42. Chapter 42

**Well, it's been an interesting journey, these last few months. I know you're all sad it's over (you better be, or I'll set Jim on you).**

**And OMG the reviews!! My inbox nearly exploded with the number I got for the last chapter. I LOVE YOU ALL!! Presents you all with an extra long chapter to show her love**

**And no, just because it's come to an end, it doesn't mean I've suddenly become the owner of D Gray Man.**

* * *

Chapter 42

"Hey, Lenalee, did you see Allen?" Lavi jogged up to the girl as she carried a tray of coffee up to her brother and the science team.

"Not since he came out of hospital yesterday, why?"

"He's cut his hair! It's almost as short as it was when he first arrived at the Order. It's brilliant isn't it! Maybe this means he's getting better!"

Lenalee gave him a wide grin. "That's really great Lavi! I'm sure this means he'll be back with us in no time!"

"I think keeping him away from Kanda on his first day of freedom was the best idea we've ever had! It obviously did the trick! Maybe it's time to move onto stage two now!"

"Actually going back to the original plan of getting them back together?"

Lavi looked a little sheepish, but grinned anyway. "Yep."

Lenalee nodded enthusiastically. "That's a great idea. But we need to keep an eye on them in case Kanda starts a fight. The last thing we need is to be picking pieces of them both up after they've got into a brawl."

Lavi agreed wholeheartedly. "We'll have to follow them around, and if it looks like it's going to get nasty, we need to distract one and drag the other away."

"That's perfect. I'm heading upstairs now, so I'll pass the message along, if you'll do the same down here."

"What about Jim? Should we let him know?" Lavi asked.

Lenalee thought for a moment then shook her head. "He's got enough on his plate watching Allen, we can handle this ourselves."

"Sure thing then. See you later!"

And congratulating themselves on a job well done, they parted ways.

* * *

Unfortunately, even the best made plans go awry. And this was by no means the best made plan.

Jim had just persuaded Allen to come away from the training rooms, and this was only by both complaining he was hungry, that Allen's stomach was only making him hungrier by growling angrily at being ignored, and that if he wanted to avoid Kanda, the training room was the last place he should be hiding out. It was perhaps this last argument that propelled Allen out of the training rooms faster than a speeding bullet.

Jim was tugging Allen towards the canteen, desperate for _something_ to eat when he spotted Kanda coming towards them, a purposeful expression on his face and his eyes fixed firmly on Allen. Jim was just preparing to make himself scarce (he had no desire to have a repeat of yesterdays show, thank you very much) when a scientist sprang out of no where, grabbed Kanda by the arm and dragged him away, seeming oblivious to the samurai's furious cursing and threats.

Jim blinked a couple of times in surprise. _Surely they aren't _still_ trying to keep them apart?_ As far as he was aware, stage one had been abandoned, though he wasn't sure if he wanted to know whether this was a good or a bad thing.

Even Allen looked confused, if a little relieved. "What was that all about?"

"No idea. Come on, I'm starved."

* * *

An hour or so later, Allen sat back in the pleasure that comes from eating a satisfying meal. Jim rested his head on the table, too stuffed to move for the moment, and even Allen couldn't find it in himself to look grouchy. After all, as Jim had told him in utter seriousness, if Jerry saw him looking unhappy, he might think it was because of the food, and never cook for him again. Allen had appeared positively ill at that thought.

They were so involved in digesting enough of their meal that movement would become possible that neither of them noticed Kanda until his shadow fell over them.

Inwardly, Jim congratulated Kanda on catching Allen happily stuffed and too full to run away. The older man sat down opposite Allen, giving him a serious look. Jim tried to slide away as fast as he could, but before he had reached the end of the bench which would have allowed him to finally stand and scoot away, the remaining occupants of the table were accosted by assorted Order members. A new and enthusiastic exorcist was pestering Kanda about Mugen, while a group of scientists accosted Allen for information about Akuma that Jim was sure they already knew the answer to.

Kanda finally managed to scare away the exorcist by offering him first hand experience of what it felt like to have Mugen shoved up his nostril, and turned to give the scientists the same treatment, only to find himself staring at a recently vacated seat, and an equally stupefied Jim banging his head on the table in frustration. This seemed like a good idea; perhaps bashing one's own brains out would help… Kanda let his head fall onto the polished wood with a loud, dull thump.

* * *

Two days later…

"Oi."

Jim looked up, already knowing who it was calling him. Only one person addressed him like that. He waited for Kanda to catch up to him. It was late, and Jim was dying to get to bed, but he didn't dare ignore the dark-haired exorcist, especially when he looked as pissed as he did right now.

"Have you seen Moyashi?"

"Allen?" Jim found himself asking without thinking. _Stupid question_ he realised a little too late.

Kanda obviously agreed, raising an eyebrow eloquently.

Resisting the urge to tell the man to go to hell, Jim went back to the question. "No, I haven't seen him for a few hours. It's nearly midnight, maybe he went to bed already?"

Kanda shook his head in irritation. "No, he's not in either of his rooms."

Jim smacked himself on the forehead. Of course Allen wasn't in those rooms. He hadn't been near them since he came back. Jim then frowned, struck by a sudden thought. Allen had been out of the hospital for three days now, so where had he been sleeping, if he hadn't been using his room? As he thought back, Jim remembered the exhausted look and dark circles Allen had been sporting when he saw him earlier, and was tempted to try and run his head through the stone wall he was standing next to. He was so stupid! Obviously Allen _hadn't_ been sleeping.

Kanda snapped his fingers impatiently in Jim's face. "Are you back with me Kiwi?"

Jim scowled, but now was not the time to drag out this old argument again. "He won't be in his rooms. He refuses to use the suite after…" Jim trailed off, covering the awkward moment with a cough.

Kanda flushed a little, though it was hard to tell whether it was caused by anger or embarrassment. "So why not his regular room?"

"It used to be your room too."

The ugly flush disappeared faster than it had arrived, leaving Kanda's face a sickly shade of white. "So where's he been sleeping?" he asked, unwittingly repeating Jim's earlier thoughts. "No wait, that doesn't matter right now. Where could he be?"

Jim scratched his head thoughtfully. "He's been trying to keep busy, so maybe the training room? Or perhaps the canteen?"

Kanda nodded distractedly. "Thank you."

Jim raised his eyebrows, surprised, but didn't make a comment. "Just find him. He needs you."

* * *

Allen stared morosely at the sky. Dark clouds were gathering and it looked like it was going to start raining shortly. He drew his arms around himself tighter, suddenly wishing he had thought to pick up his new coat from Komui before coming and sitting on the roof. But then again, Komui would only get suspicious. After all, where could he possibly be going when he was supposed to be taking it easy? The last thing he wanted was anyone knowing about his most recent hiding place.

The mere thought of the supervisor made him squirm angrily. The ridiculous man had refused to give him a new room. Whether it was because he didn't understand Allen's current crisis regarding the sleeping quarters, or he was just too lazy to clear his useless experiments and robot spare parts from the unused bedrooms, Allen didn't know, but it didn't really matter to him. All he knew was Komui was being deliberately awkward and it was extremely annoying, and left him with no solution to his current problem. This is why he was now standing on the roof of Headquarters, looking out dully at the distant lights of the town far below him. He dropped his head onto his arms, leaning on the raised battlements. He had ended up staying up here all night yesterday, but it looked like the weather was conspiring against him today as a deluge frigid rain fell on the back of his exposed neck, instantly soaking him through. _Urgh, life hates me_. He shivered a little, grumbling curses directed at the weather, Komui and life in general. There was no way even he was stupid enough to stay out here in this storm, even though he couldn't possibly get any wetter, so he dragged himself away from the wall and headed back inside, his mind already trying to decide where he could take refuge at this time of night.

Allen slumped wearily on the bench, letting his head hit the table with a dull thud. It was lucky the dining hall was so empty. Then again, what did he expect? It was two in the morning.

How long had it been since he had had a proper sleep? More than two days, at the very least. He hadn't slept fully since Komui reduced the medication that had been keeping him in a very cosy state of oblivion.

He was shattered, his whole body ached and he was regretting his decision to engage in some rather rigorous exercise that afternoon. And that evening. In fact, since his run in with Kanda a couple of days ago, he'd been doing everything he could to keep his mind off the dark-haired man. Plus he was wet. Very, very wet. And cold too.

Komui wouldn't be happy if he caught him in this state, he thought unhappily. He needed to find somewhere to sleep where he wouldn't get caught looking like he'd just passed out…he tried to get his tired brain to co-operate, but it was no use. The only good thing, he thought as the darkness claimed him and his head slipped sideways off the table, coming to a rest on the bench, was that he was at least already lying down.

* * *

Kanda was fed up. He must have been all over the Order and had yet to see hide or hair of one Allen Walker. He was under the distinct impression that Allen was avoiding him. And now his search had made him hungry. He never got peckish in the middle of the night; it wasn't good for his metabolism to eat at odd times. _That Moyashi's having a bad effect on me._ The thought transferred itself as a feral growl.

He headed for the canteen, looking around cautiously to make sure nobody saw him doing something so out of character. Honestly, sneaking around Headquarters in the dead of night, looking for a Bean Sprout and a snack. If Lavi ever found out he'd need decapitating straight away or Kanda would never hear the end of it.

He decided that enough was enough. Once he'd eaten, he was turning in for the night. It must have been about two a.m., and he needed his beauty sleep.

Luckily the dining hall was empty when he snuck inside, heading stealthily over to the kitchens, intending to raid the cupboards for anything edible so he could quickly make his escape. At least when Jerry came down to start breakfast, Kanda would be the last person he suspected of stealing his ingredients. He was just about to leave, intent on getting back to his room as fast as possible when the soft sound of dripping attracted his attention. _Great, now Headquarters is leaking…wait, I'm on the ground floor, where would a leak be coming from? _He looked around curiously, but the dining area was almost pitch black, the only light coming through the high windows, and even that was very little, thanks to the dark storm clouds outside. Then he saw the puddle, trailing lazily around the table to his left. Well, less saw and more stepped in it. It was the resulting splash that alerted him to its presence.

He followed the small river towards the table, all thoughts of a quick escape forgotten for the moment.

At first he didn't understand what he was seeing. There was a pile of very wet (dripping wet, in fact, which explained the noise he had heard,) clothes lying haphazardly on the bench, and a pair of boots too… A frown creased Kanda's forehead as he tried to make sense of it (it was late, he was tired and hungry, his mind wasn't on top form right now). It wasn't until the clothes rolled over and off the bench, landing with a disgustingly wet sounding slap on the equally soaked ground that he realised what he was looking at.

Allen Walker. Passed out on the bench. Well, now passed out on the floor since the small tumble hadn't disturbed him in the slightest. His hair was drenched, clinging in stringy strands to his face, his skin pale and an unhealthy blue tinged his lips. Kanda pressed his hand to Allen's face and was unsurprised to find it icy to the touch.

"Idiot" he said, not too unkindly as he dumped his stolen food on the younger man's stomach so he could pick Allen up in both arms, cradling him gently. "I suppose I should get you warm before you make yourself ill again." The last thing he wanted was Allen coming down with something. There was something about being ill that made the general extra pissy.

* * *

Allen opened his eyes slowly. For some reason he was lying on a sofa. He certainly hadn't fallen asleep here- wherever_ here_ was…

He sat upright, the blanket lying over him slipping down and pooling at his waist. He looked around cautiously. He was in one of the common rooms- he could just make out the familiar furniture by the light of the softly glowing embers of what must have started the night out as a well banked fire. The light outside the window was still muted, so he guessed it was around five in the morning. He'd hardly slept at all. By all rights he should still be fast asleep, so what was it that had disturbed him back into consciousness?

Well, this was all very odd- how on Earth did he get here? He was sure the last thing he remembered was laying his head on one of the tables in the canteen. And hold on a minute…why the hell wasn't he wearing a shirt? Or for that matter, any trousers?

_Wonderful…General Allen Walker lying on a common room sofa in his boxers…that'd go down well…_

The sound of a soft exhalation roused him from his reverie. Kanda was sitting on the armchair across from him, looking uncomfortably hunched among the cushions. His blanket was only covering one leg, the rest of it trailing on the floor at his feet.

Allen froze, worried that the slightest sound would disturb the sleeping man.

Silently he slid from the sofa and crept across the hearth rug, picking up Kanda's fallen blanket as he did so.

He paused next to the chair, watching Kanda's face as he slept. The dying fire cast his features in a delicate pink glow, and his eyelashes looked long and dark against his cheeks.

The minutes ticked by slowly, and Allen realised he hadn't moved, still standing next to the chair, in his underwear, clutching the blanket. He let out a breath that he didn't even know he had been holding, blushing darkly, suddenly extremely grateful that Kanda was fast asleep.

He laid the blanket neatly over his sleeping form, a small smile playing about his mouth as the usually stoic exorcist nestled deeper, drawing the covers up to his chin.

Allen suddenly wished Timcampy was around to take a recording of this cute, snugly Kanda- it would make for some great blackmail material. This thought caught him off guard. He shouldn't be planning future blackmail. He wanted to stay away from him. He'd managed for the last couple of days, hadn't he? How hard could it be? It should get easier once he left and Kanda was once again on missions. For some reason though, the thought of being separated by several continents and vast oceans depressed him. He reached out absently and brushed his hand over Kanda's face, gently tucking his long straight bangs behind his ear.

Kanda snorted softly, making Allen jump and pull his hand back guiltily, scuttling back to the sofa and throwing himself down, facing the back of the seat. He lay still, hoping Kanda hadn't woken up. After a few minutes of silence, save for the ticking of the clock and the gentle snapping of smouldering logs on the fire, he risked turning over, trying to make the movement seem natural. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Kanda hadn't moved an inch, though he cursed his own jitteriness.

If he was going to avoid Kanda, he might as well start now. With a soundless sigh, he sat up, looking around for his clothes, preparing to make his escape before Kanda caught him, but as he stole a final glance at the armchair's occupant, something made him pause. Perhaps it was the uncharacteristic expression of peace on the others face, so rarely without a scowl, or how relaxed he looked despite being squashed in an extremely uncomfortable chair.

And why did Kanda bring him here? Because that was the only explanation for how Allen ended up in the common room. He remembered being wet after being caught on the roof in the storm…well that explained the near nakedness, and the fact that he could now recognise his clothes hanging near the fire, but how did Kanda know that he couldn't go back to his room? There were too many questions, but Allen found there was only one answer that really mattered. It was because he cared. Kanda cared for Allen, despite how Allen had treated him of late, despite everything they had been through because of each other. Kanda still loved him.

"_One person cannot decide to end a friendship! It takes two to build a relationship, and one person cannot break it! You might have decided to stop caring for us, but who the hell are you to decide we stop caring back?" _

Allen brushed away the tears that had begun to fall without his permission, but as fast as he wiped them away, more took their place and in the end he gave up. He needed Kanda, because he was the only one who truly understood him, all of him, and not just the front that everyone else saw, and sometimes, like now, when he was asleep, Allen could see the real Kanda, the one behind the cold antisocial mask. The one he used to wake up to.

The one he still wanted to wake up to.

He had been working so hard to convince himself that he didn't need anybody, that relationships were unnecessary and only caused pain, that he hadn't seen what was truly important. He needed Kanda, and Kanda needed him.

And suddenly, he knew that he didn't want that to end.

After he had managed to pull himself back together a little, he noticed how cold it was in the room, especially for one who wasn't wearing an awful lot, so he gathered up the cover from the sofa and wrapped it around himself, shuffling awkwardly over to the fire and sitting down in front of it, staring into the depths of the dying embers and letting his mind fall blank. Eventually the warmth from the fire and his exhaustion overcame him, and he fell into a deep and peaceful natural sleep for the first time in longer than he could remember.

Kanda had woken up sometime while Allen had still been sitting silently, letting tears roll down his face, but hadn't said anything. Obviously whatever the other was thinking about, it would be better to leave him to it while he worked through whatever was upsetting him. Eventually he seemed to reach some kind of conclusion, and had moved to sit in front of the fire, wrapped in the throw that Kanda had covered him in earlier, and just sat there, looking into the fire. From what Kanda could see of his face, whatever Allen had been thinking about moments before had been worked through satisfactorily, judging by the serene expression on his face. Or perhaps that was just a result of the glow that painted his hair in shades of red, or the way that the fire was reflected in his silver eyes. Either way, he looked like he had finally made peace with whatever demons he had been fighting against for so long.

Kanda's thoughts turned inward. He wasn't stupid or naïve, he knew that if he was ever going to persuade Allen to give them another chance, he first needed to explain himself, to get Allen to trust him again. And the small nagging doubt at the back of his mind, the one thing that worried him more than anything else, was the thought that he couldn't be sure he'd give anyone a second chance if they had done what he had. His only hope was that Allen would find it in himself to overlook his transgressions, because it was too much to expect forgiveness.

Kanda's thoughts turned dark for a moment. Maybe Allen Walker, exorcist would have accepted his apology and moved on, but Allen Walker, General? Ever since Allen had first donned that coat, he'd begun to change. Kanda knew it was going to happen, but he'd expected to be at Allen's side throughout it all. And he hadn't been, and was now reaping the rewards that that mistake had given him.

_Damn, I'm thinking in circles… _He shivered a little, it was really getting cold now, and even the blanket (which he now noticed was drawn up around his chin- _how did that happen?_) wasn't doing anything to keep the chill at bay. Allen had actually managed to drop off despite the cold, though he _was_ sitting only two feet away from the fire.

Well now, he had three options as far as he could tell.

_One_**.** Live with the cold. He was_ the_ Kanda Yuu after all; a slight chill shouldn't bother him. _Even though it does_ a small snide voice added spitefully in his head. Kanda stamped first on the little voice, then on the whole idea. It was unseasonably cold, and there wasn't any need to be uncomfortable, especially since he was inside.

_Two. _Bank up the fire again. It wouldn't take too much effort to get the flames roaring again. He looked around the hearth, but there was no more fuel. _Dammit, so much for idea number two._

_Okay then, three it is._ Before he could talk himself out of the whole plan and go back to the rather unfavourable first one, he untangled his limbs from the uncomfortable position he'd worked them into in order to fit in the little armchair. _Damn Moyashi, he's smaller than me, I should have stuck him in that damn chair. _(He conveniently forgot that he and Allen were the same height now.)

Grabbing up the cover he stalked across the room, sitting down as close as he could get to Allen without touching him. Even though they were both wrapped firmly in the blankets, Kanda wasn't sure he could let himself touch Allen knowing there were no clothes below the blanket that hid the pale skin from view.

Sitting on his hands and biting his lip to stop him from doing anything he shouldn't, he turned to face the fire, just staring into its depths as Allen had been doing a few minutes before. Eventually his late night and sudden awakening began to catch up to him and his head drooped, his chin hitting his chest as sleep claimed him once more.

* * *

Warm. It was so very warm. Allen couldn't find it in himself to open his eyes, so he just lay there, basking in the heat that enveloped him. He felt content and relaxed, as though he had had a wonderful dream, though if he had, he couldn't remember anything about it. Slowly he began to become aware of his surroundings. The rhythmic ticking of the clock, the soft sound of burnt out logs settling in the grate, a comfortable weight against his back, the feel of the slightly rough blanket against his bare skin where something was pressing it against his waist, the gentle exhalation of breath in his ear…

Wait…what?

His eyes snapped open in shock, only to be met with the fireplace he had heard a moment ago. _Oh that's right, I fell asleep in front of the fire earlier this morning…_

The events of the early hours slowly came back to him. So, he had dropped off in front of the fire. What then was the weight around his middle? Or the breathing in his ear?

He was almost afraid to look, and when he finally did, he wasn't sure whether he should be angry or happy.

Kanda's arm was draped casually over him, holding closely against his chest, wrapped in his own blanket. When had that happened?

The breathing against his neck changed, and he realised Kanda was waking up, so he settled down again, willing his heart to stop pounding as he tried to relax. Kanda would know he was awake, but he didn't need to know he felt so confused.

"Mmm…" Kanda shuffled closer, still half asleep, rubbing his face against the shoulder he was nestled against. This made Allen smile, Kanda had always woken up this way, slowly and languidly. Completely different to when he was truly awake.

"Good morning to you too." Allen whispered

Immediately all movement stopped and Kanda drew bock, opening his eyes and blinking rapidly, trying to clear his vision. "Moyashi? What are you doing here?"

Allen smiled, though Kanda couldn't see it. "I should be asking you that. I assume you're the one who brought me here?"

Kanda sat up on one elbow, looking around the room in confusion. That's right; they were in the common room. He'd woken up cold and sat next to Allen near the fire trying to warm up. Although that didn't explain how they had ended up spooning on the hearth rug.

Allen rolled over onto his back, looking up at Kanda's confused expression.

"It's okay, I don't mind. It's probably easier this way."

"What is?" The confused face turned suspicious.

Allen grinned happily, and Kanda's confused expression returned. Was he still dreaming? He pinched himself just in case. _Ow_. _Not dreaming then… _He watched Allen carefully, wondering what he was talking about, but he didn't have time to think any further than that, because the next thing he knew, he was flat on his back and Allen was kissing him. Oh God, he was kissing him! Kanda felt Allen's tongue probing him and with a groan of defeat, gave in to the sensation completely.

Eventually Allen pulled back; face flushed and panting a little. Kanda smirked at him. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"

"I've been such an idiot. I was thinking about it for so long last night, and I've only just realised it. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Kanda reached up from where he was still lying, staring up at Allen's stricken expression, and cupped his face gently with his hands, staring deep into those bottomless silver eyes. "If we're going to do all this mushy stuff, then I have some things to say too." He took a breath. "What happened with that Noah, and what I said to you… I'm really sorry Moy…Allen. I don't know what happened, I can't have been thinking straight. I'm not trying to make excuses, and I'd beg forgiveness if I thought I deserved it. I guess I'm just trying to ask if you'd give me another cha-ooph"

He was cut off by Allen's mouth pressing against his own, silencing him immediately.

"BaKanda." Allen smiled gently when he pulled away, his eyes shining with so much emotion. "Nobody's perfect. Not you and especially not me. I've done some pretty stupid things myself, and I know that these things can't be forgiven, so let's just forget it. You are you, and I'm me, and right now, that's all that matters." He kissed him again, then rested his head on his shoulder, sighing blissfully. "So, will you have me back, even though I'm a complete mess?"

"Of course, if you'll have me back too, even though I'm a complete ass."

Allen laughed lightly, a sound that Kanda had missed terribly. "And it's Moyashi."

Kanda laughed outright at his, startling Allen, who sat up, staring at him in shock. "Alright, if you insist. But now I have your permission, I'm never, ever going to use your real name again, you do realise that."

Allen lay back down, his hands trailing up and down Kanda's sides. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

They lay in silence for a while, enjoying each others company without the need to express it with words.

"I've really missed you" Allen commented at length, his hand now stroking back and forth across Kanda's toned stomach, while Kanda's did the same across his bare chest. "I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've held you like this." He snuggled closer.

"It's been a terrible time. After you left, I didn't know what to do with myself. I never blamed you for leaving, not seriously. But you never contacted the Order, nobody really knew where you were or if you were alright…"

Allen stiffened guiltily, his hand stilling, and he began to turn away, hurt.

"I'm sorry Moyashi; we say we wouldn't talk about it anymore. I'm just proving my point, I'm an ass, remember?"

Allen gave a weak snort. "Yes, I know. And I'm a ridiculous parody of my former self." He sat up, turning to face the other man with serious eyes. "I don't know if I can go back to how I was before. I've spend too much time alone and indifferent."

Kanda smiled soothingly. "That doesn't matter. You've already said, I'm me, you're you. That's all that matters. And if it's any consolation, we're back to how we were already, just the other way round. I'm the overly emotional idiot and you're the cold-hearted bastard."

That made Allen laugh and he lay back down, completely reassured.

Kanda went back to absently running his hand over Allen's nearly-naked body, playing his old game of scar counting. "You were really rough with yourself out there weren't you?"

"There were times I thought I was going to die. And I didn't care." Allen hid his face in Kanda's side so the Japanese man couldn't see the shame on his face. "I know now how stupid that was, but at the time I kept telling myself I didn't care, and after I while I just didn't anymore. It felt like I had nothing left."

Kanda felt him trembling against him and pulled him tighter. "You don't have to think about it any more." He paused, then continued. "Don't ever think you have nothing left to live for. You have to live for me. If you truly left, I don't know if I could go on." He gave a small faint sniff. "See, told you I was the emotional one now."

Allen raised his head, his own eyes watery. "And don't you ever say that again. I'll live forever just to spite you." He snuggled back down. "What a pair we are."

Kanda's hand slipped lower, stopping at the waistband of Allen's boxers. "Are you cold? Not that I'm complaining, but you're hardly dressed."

Allen grinned. "Why would I be cold? I have you to keep me warm." Then he shivered, as though his body wanted to betray him. "Well, maybe a little," he amended.

Kanda smirked down at him. "Well I can't be doing my job properly then." He shifted slightly and suddenly Allen was looking up at Kanda, their heads surrounded by a curtain of long dark hair.

"Hmmm… you're right, that's much better." And with a devious twinkle in his eyes, Allen arched upwards.

"Moyashi…" Kanda growled at him, a low warning of what would happen if Allen did that again.

"What?" The picture of innocence, Allen blinked angelically up at him.

"Do that again and I won't be held responsible for my actions" came the reply. Kanda was speaking slowly, as though just saying the words threatened to sweep his self control under the rug they were lying on.

"Really?" Allen repeated the motion with deliberate, teasing slowness.

"Allen…" Kanda closed his eyes, fighting not to move along with the man under him.

"It's Moyashi, remember?" Allen sat up slightly, resting on his elbows behind him. "Look, if you are uncomfortable or not ready or something, that's fine, just say so. I know it's awkward trying to pick up where we left off, but God Kanda, I've waited so long just to touch you again."

Kanda pressed his eyes closed tighter, not saying anything. He faintly heard a sigh and felt Allen move out from under him, but didn't make any movement himself until he heard the sound of Allen's shirt sliding from the chair it was hanging over. He was on his feet in an instant. "Wait."

Allen paused, turning confused and slightly hurt eyes on him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was too worried about what I'd do if I let myself go."

Allen smirked, which unsettled Kanda slightly, and he took an involuntary step backwards before catching himself and forcing himself to stand his ground. Allen stepped up to him, moulding his thin, almost bare body against the samurai's. He leant forwards, speaking softly, so that Kanda had to lean towards him to catch the words.

"Maybe I want you to let go, Kanda."

That was it. Eight little words and he was undone. With a moan he lunged forwards, wrapping his arms around the other man and loosing himself in the sensation of him, the sight, the smell, the taste, the feel. Everything about him that made him who he was. When they finally broke apart Kanda looked into the sharp silver eyed gaze levelled back at him. "Yuu."

"Huh? Me what?"

"Yuu. Call me by my first name."

Allen beamed happily. "Of course." He sighed and leaned in again, running his tongue up Kanda's neck and latching onto his ear. "Yuu…" he breathed huskily, causing a million goosebumps to rise in response.

"Oh God Moyashi, say it again."

With a dark laugh, Allen obliged, pushing everything he felt into that one syllable. "Yuu…"

He felt the older man turn to putty in his hands and had to hold in another laugh. He rocked forwards, pressing himself as close to Kanda as he could while they were still clothed.

"…please. Do it." He rocked again, at the same time as he pulled the others top over his head. "Just let go…" He ran a cunning tongue over Kanda's chest, and he couldn't take it anymore. He pushed the younger man to the floor, devouring him with kisses and licks and bites as the rest of their clothes were discarded. The last intelligible thought that crossed Kanda's mind before he allowed himself to drown in the sea of lust and love and every other emotion that he connected to the man pinned below him, moaning his name with such longing, was that he was glad he'd thought to block the door after they had come through it that morning…


	43. Chapter 43

**And just to round things off nicely… let's check up on Operation GAKTA…**

* * *

Chapter 43 Epilogue

Lavi pushed the door again. It moved slightly, but didn't open. He frowned at it. Hardly anyone used this common room, it was too far out of the way, which was why he used it as his own private reading room. This explained why he was trying to get in there now. His most recent favourite book was still in there, and if he didn't get it back to the library soon, old Bookman was going to kick him into the next century.

Right, there was only one thing for it. He removed his hammer from its holster at his thigh and grew it so it was taller than he was. He was about to swing it at the door when Lenalee and Jim turned the corner, talking animatedly.

"Oh, hey Lavi" Jim greeted when he caught sight of him. "Um, what are you doing?" He gestured at the six foot tall hammer.

Lavi scowled moodily. "I can't get in."

"What room is this? I don't think I've ever been in here before." Jim looked around the corridor.

"It's a common room, but nobody uses this one any more. There are nicer ones that are better furnished. As far as I know Lavi's the only one who still uses this dump."

Lenalee frowned. "Are you about to knock the door down?"

"No." Lavi (unsuccessfully) tried to hide the hammer behind him, avoiding Lenalee's sharp-eyed gaze.

"Hmm" was all she said, still staring at him.

"Oh, Okay, I was. But I left a book in there and Panda's going to kill me of I don't get it back to the library before he notices it's missing. But I can't get into the room!"

"Maybe someone's inside and they've locked you out" Jim suggested.

"There's no lock on the door, it must just be stuck." Lavi gave it another experimental push.

"I think…"

What Lenalee thought was forgotten as Komui rounded the corner, followed faithfully by a very unhappy looking Reever and five or six science department nerds. Komui was waxing lyrical about his fantastic robot series that were always a complete success at whatever they were told to do when he spotted his sister.

"Leeeeennnnnnaaaaalllllleeeeeeee!"

Lavi and Jim dove for cover as Komui sprinted up to them, launching himself at Lenalee. The female exorcist neatly side-stepped the assault and Komui landed flat on his face at her feet.

"Really brother, you are so embarrassing. But since you're here, maybe you can help Lavi with his little problem." She pulled her brother to his feet, ignoring the redhead's rant that his problem was by no means little and if he didn't get that book back, Bookman was going to hurt him. Lots.

Komui examined the door, giving it a feeble push. "Well, how very odd. Maybe it swelled. It is rather damp down here." He drew a selection of screwdrivers from somewhere on his person and flipped through them, looking for the right one. "I'm glad you stopped him from breaking the door down," he muttered as he compared two cross-head screwdrivers critically. "The repair bills for this place are bad enough." He cast aside both screwdrivers and began comparing another pair.

"What are you doing down here?" Jim asked, picking one of the screwdrivers from the wall where Komui had imbedded it when he discarded it. Obviously the repair bills weren't a problem if Komui caused the damage himself.

"Showing the newbies around. I love bringing in new scientists, sharing my immense knowledge, ah! This one will do!" He used his selected tool to lever up the hinges of the door, working quickly, while still exclaiming the benefits of showing the newest scientist recruits around. "It's good to let them see the sights; after all, you see some pretty weird things working around the order."

The door creaked as it fell backwards; the gathered people all stepping back to let the heavy slab of wood hit the floor.

"There's a desk behind the door!" exclaimed Lavi, pushing the furniture back so he could get in. He spotted his book lying on the floor next to the chair he had been using when he was in this room a few nights ago. As he reached out for the tome, his hand brushed across an article of clothing. Frowning, he picked it up and immediately recognised Kanda's sleeveless turtleneck. Eyes widening he stood quickly, dropping the top and clutching his book to his chest. He looked around the room fearfully, hoping he hadn't disturbed Kanda doing anything he'd rather not get caught doing. It was the innocent red ribbon draped over the back of the sofa he was standing opposite that made him pause.

He crept over to the sofa and, against his better judgement and knowing he'd probably be skewered by an innocence blade as soon as he was spotted, he peered over the back of it.

Allen was immediately visible, his white hair and skin glowing despite the gloomy light of the room, and it only took a moment to recognise that what he had assumed was a pillow was actually Kanda's bare chest. The blanket that covered them was casually draped across Allen's waist, revealing an expanse of toned back and shoulders, and just covering enough to save Lavi's innocent eye. They both looked rather disordered.

With a muffled squeak, the redhead stumbled backwards, rushing from the room and, with strength that he never knew he possessed, he hefted the solid oak door and slammed it back into place against the door frame.

"I…uh…in there…mess…um…"

Jim raised his eyebrows. "I think he just saw one of those 'pretty weird things' you were talking about supervisor."

"Lavi, what on Earth is going on?" Lenalee grabbed both of Lavi's shoulders, shaking him until he finished mumbling confusedly.

"Allen….Kanda….naked…." He managed to get out.

"Oh, they're in there? What's wrong with…oh." Lenalee blushed. "I guess they made up then."

Jim breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness for that! Isn't that what you wanted though Lavi? What's the matter?"

Lavi was now almost in tears. "It was my favourite blanket!"

* * *

Kanda nudged Allen gently. "I think they've gone now. I can't hear anything."

"It's a good job Lavi made so much noise trying to get in, or we'd have really given him a show." Allen chuckled darkly as though he had considered it.

"I don't think he'll be back down here for a while now." Kanda stretched luxuriously before running his hands over Allen's back, feeling the muscles twitch as he found ticklish spots.

"If ever. I think we might have scarred him for life by desecrating his reading room."

"Makes it ours now then, doesn't it?"

Allen laughed again, so content he was almost oozing happiness. "I guess it does."

"Again?"

"That's the second best thing you've said to me today" Allen grinned wickedly, rolling off Kanda's chest in a flowing liquid movement.

"Oh really? What was the first?"

"Oh, um…" Allen blushed a little. "It was:_ 'I have some lube in my pocket'_"

**

* * *

**

And thus, it ends.

**So, that's it, it's done. And now I'm scratching about trying to find inspiration for my next fic. After all, what am I going to do with all my spare time?**

**I've been reading through ATW and found some time skips and whatnots that might get to have their own story, since I need to do something while I wait for the plot bunnies to attack. If there's anything you want, just message me, and I'll see what I can do. I need things to keep me busy!**

**Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and followed this through 'til the end, and even bigger thanks to everyone who's every dropped me a line. I love hearing from you and I do try to pay attention to your views! **

**LOVAGE TO YOU ALL!!**

**Aerika-san**


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